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#amateurPhotography

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"No man should judge unless he asks himself in absolute honesty whether in a similar situation he might not have done the same."

- Viktor E. Frankl

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This was way back 2015, Gh. I miss you. I hope you are in a happy place. 😇 Thank you for introducing tumblr to me. 💖

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The Comeback to being "social"

I wasn't really expecting this day would come so earlier than I expected it to be. It was one one sunday morning where I was awaken by a call from Patrick.

He called to ask me what kind of phone that I want to have for myself. And blah blah blah... We talked for almost 5 minutes about THE phone. Then all of a sudden, he insisted that I should get up and change because we'll go to the mall to buy it. Although, he emphasized that I have to pay for it within a year. #loanedphoneinafriend

So yeah.. I have now returned to the online world after 1254668888 hours. 😅

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I should be happy

I’m so sorry tho. I can’t.

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Pay Day

PhP2,400.00

Papaano ko pagkakasyahin yan sa loob ng dalawang linggo? Gusto jud ko muhilak. Sakit kaayu. Sakit kaayu sa dughan. Ngano man??? Wala ko ko kabalo nga ing.ani diay jud sya kalisud. Kapuy na jud. 

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Purpose

I am really looking forward to this. #Purpose

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Umaasa ako, manhid ka. Paano na?

Somewhere

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Sweldo

Sa kakarampot kong swedo kinukuha lahat. Bayad sa bahay, kuryent, at tubig. Hindi ko alam kung papaano ko kakayanin sa susunod na apat na buwan. 6 months. Yan lang ang kaya kong itagal sa institusyong ito. Gusto o ng tumigil at lumipat dahil hinsi na talaga ako masaya. Ang kaso lang, wala pa akong siguradong malilipatan. Hindi ko alam kung ako lang ba ang nagkakaganito sa unang trabaho. -_-

#minimumWage #maximumWorkload

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Unexpected Caller

Sa lahat ng taong iniexpect kong tumawag sa akin today, ikaw pa ang tumawag J. Ano ba naman yan! Bigla-bigla ka na namang nagpaparamdam eh! Nakalimutan na sana kita. Pabor daw! Huhuhu. Alam ko naman eh. Alam kong ako lang tong sobrang tanga at baliw. Pero sana naman mag-cooperate ka! Pwede bang sa susunod na makita mo ako, huwag ka nang mamansin or tumawag pa para lang ipaalam sa aking nakita mo ako? Kasi wala na akong maramdaman ngayon. Manhid na ako. Kaso sa tuwing nagpaparamdam ka, bumabalik ka na naman sa isip ko na ikinakatakot kong muling bubuhay sa natutulog kong manhid na pakiramdam.

#unconfessedOneSidedAttraction

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Mamang

Nagsugud ni atung third year ku, 2nd semester. Nagsakit akung mama ug rare nga skin disease, Pemphigus vulgaris, to be exact. Atung una misan aku galibug kung unsa nah syang sakita. Sakit nah sya sa panit nga mura bitawg talipaso nya dagko kaayo. Butuy nah sya nya naay sulod tubig nga kung mapusa, mahimung samad. Murag sama ra sa anang napaso bitaw. Dayun ang worst case pa, tibook lawas jud nah sa akong Mama. Dili man sya makatakud kay according sa studies, internal ni sya. Internal in a sense nga, ang immune sysytem mismo sa akung Mama ang gaprovide anang sakita. Dili sya common nga sakit pero dili pud daw rare kay usual sya nga mahitabo sa  mga bayi during middle ages (35-49). Pero para nako rare jud sya kay first time nako naka-encounter ug ingatong sakita.

Unya, agi ani, diri gasugud ug “downhill” ang akoang kinabuhi, inanay-inanay.

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The Job

November 28, 2017, I got a job. I was recommended and fully backed-up for the position so there was no competition. I didn’t go through the difficulties of hiring and selection, thanks to my wide connections. Haha

But then, I am not happy. I am not thrilled with my job. I am not satisfied with everything that goes with it; environment, location, salary, people, and experience. I don’t feel any excitement when I wake up in the morning. I just have the need to go through each day. 

I choose to get through with it everyday for the sake of being called “an employed fresh grad” and the fact that this “kakarampot na kita” will make my family survive somehow.

Will I be able to maintain this?

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2017

A year of bullshits.

Nagkasakit si Mama. Naghiwalay sila ni Papa. Nalaman ko kung gaano ka shitty husband ang Papa ko. Nagkandaleche-leche ang buhay at pag-aaral ng kapatid ko. Financial struggles. Pakapalan ng mukha para lang sa pera. I was a mess. Sa madaling salita, my 2017 = my most depressive year.

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2018. It’s a new year. A new year that resembles a new start. A new year that resembles a new beginning. A new year that resembles a new life. But why do I have a feeling of being stuck in 2017?