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[ivan-ivan-ivan-ivan]

My dearest Ivan Ivan Ivan,

[ivan-ivan-ivan-ivan]

Venturing these past weeks with you has been the highlight of my year so far. The time we’ve spent together feels like it consists of just the correct amount of excitement, strangeness, fear, and giddiness. I've had a long thought about why I used to never call you by your name (actually, I vividly remember trying to get the word “Ivan” out of my mouth and ended up just replacing it with “Eh” because I was scared), and I think it’s because we were once actual strangers to each other and calling you Ivan might bring a certain feeling of closeness that I was afraid I was never gonna get to. But now, getting to call you by your name is one of my favoritest things to do ever ever ever and I’m glad I get to call you by your name everyday <3

[ivan-ivan-ivan-ivan]

Each time we see each other, there’s always something new to discover about you and I’m loving it. Getting to know you this past month has made me realize how sad it is to completely miss out doing this last year with you. I enjoy talking to you and I love listening to what you have to say. I like how the silences are never awkward and how I’m always excited to share things with you and hear what you have to say about them. Believe me when I say that when we aren’t talking, my head is occupied on thinking when we can talk next (hence being in a job has become very painful for me because I can’t talk to you!!!!!!!).

[ivan-ivan-ivan-ivan]

Now that you’re turning one year older, I hope that the changes that this year will bring you is just enough to challenge you the right way. It’s funny to think about how it always seems like you dread working but always give your best each time, I really love that about you. I hope this year you can find more joy in your career and be able to manage the anxiety better (I haven’t found a way to do that yet but if I do, you’ll definitely be the first to know). I think I haven’t told you this, but I really admire how I can see that you take your work very seriously. Even after only knowing you this close for less than a month, your commitment to your career really shows and it honestly inspires me a lot. Through observing you, it turns me to wanting to reignite a certain spark that I’ve lost in myself.

[ivan-ivan-ivan-ivan]

A lot of amazing things have happened in such a short amount of time. Everytime I'm around you I feel so much more lighthearted and bubbly. I'm excited and eager to spend more time with you and do dumb shit together. I can't wait to be able to hang out with you for days on end without having to be vigilant on when our phones are gonna ring, to wake up without any alarms, sipping ice-cold drinks on sunny afternoons while talking shit about absolutely anything and everything, and of couse chain-smoking till we cough to death. Thanks for always (so far) putting up with my dumb activities such as frisbee-ing, playing board games, and driving around 3 more rounds before dropping me off at Dahlia. I love sharing the small joys in my days with you, I’m thankful and always delighted when I remember that I have you to be able to share little fun things to. I hope you enjoy spending your time with me as much as I enjoy spending mine with you <3

[ivan-ivan-ivan-ivan]

Despite the distance that absolutely suckzzzzzzz between us, I’m grateful to you being a part of my days. One thing I’ve noticed is that I’ve been waking up happier and more thrilled (this means a lot since I wuz always a morning person) and it’s mostly because of u!!! It feels really good to not dread mornings anymore and actually have something to look forward to, I have you to thank for that <3 I do mean it when I say you can text and call me whenever, I don't mind waking up because of your texts/calls because I actually look forward to them.

[ivan-ivan-ivan-ivan]

As you've completed another wonderful year around the sun and turning a quarter of a century old (haha you're old), this year I wish for you to have the courage to do the things you've been afraid to do, the confidence to achieve scarier goals, the maturity it needs to deal with new challenges you will face, and the right people around you to help guide you through these things. No matter how tough the problem could be, I wish for you to be able to find a silver lining and rise up stronger from it. This year, I want you to remember that you're not by yourself and that it is completely okay to ask for assistance when you need it. I wish for you to be able to grow to be the bestest ivan ivan ivan you can be, to be of substance and help to your surroundings, and to be someone that other people could talk in good regards about. I wish for you to have something to be excited about everyday and a calm feeling that makes you feel wholesome before going to bed at night. Most of all, I wish for you to experience and feel so many things (they don't have to be grand things, sometimes it's the sum of the small moments that matter) that you're able to feel grateful of where you are, who you're with, and who you are now.

[ivan-ivan-ivan-ivan]

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[ivan-ivan-ivan-ivan]

I don’t think it’s fair for someone to spend their birthday not listening to what other people say they love about them, I guess it’s lucky for you that I have an endless list of things I love about you. I have especially curated 25 things that I mostest absolutelieszststztstttt adore about you:

I love how you show yourself as if you’re not into being the center of attention, but in a little subtlety i can see that you do enjoy it a bit. I think that’s very cuties and very leo of you

I love how hard you work and how dedicated you are at your field

I love how you aim to be the besztstzttest at something and to be the smartest person in the room, I think one of your greatest strengths is persevering at something that you’re eager for. I can sense that you have the drive to want to achieve great things and I’m absolutely all here for that

I love how you make me want to be better not by telling me to do better, but by showing that quality in yourself. I feel like with you, I can retire my hunger for competition. Because I don’t think I wanna be better than you, I just want us to be better together alongside each other

I love how smart you are. I don't think this needs any explaining

I love how thoughtful you are, it's something that's new to me and I really appreciate it

I love how appreciative you are even on the little small things

I love how you seem like you don’t have a lot to say but you actually do and you just don’t want to share everything yet

I love how I can discuss and brainstorm things with you

I love (even though sometimes it scares me) how you stalk me through everything even though you absolutely don’t need to because there isn’t a question on earth you could ask me that I wouldn’t give answers to.

I love how absolutely no one else would want to figure out how many RPM’s the giant fan is rotating at but you do

I love that when you say you want to improve at something, you actually put forth effort and show that you're improving

I love how you take a long pause before you want to say something that’s important

I love how you could not lie to save your life

I love how you try to stay up when we're together but you always end up falling asleep first

I love how you're very verbal in expressing how you feel. I really appreciate it when you're forward with how you're feeling <3

I love it when you talk in wireline language but I’m actually drifting away but you don’t realize it and you continue talking anyway and you look so excited and your eyes light up and at the end I don’t understand anything you say but I just take my sweet time staring at your cute face instead <3 (sometimes I drift away because you talk too fast and I lost you somewhere but I don’t wanna stop you because you’re still on fire about the topic)

I love how you say you couldn’t write but so far the things you’ve said to me show that you can actually write really good but you just haven’t tried it yet

I love that you love to cuddle and how we almost always wake up in the same position we went to sleep in

I love how you’re a really good kisser and I never want to stop kissing you for the rest of my lifeszeszsssszs

I love how your laugh explodes at my jokes even when they’re not that funny sometimes

I love how I can picture you very clearly when you laugh through the phone and I can feel your eyes laughing with you as well

I love how you pick up my calls very quickly

I love how you say you’re gonna end the call in 5 minutes but it ALWAYS ends up being WAY MORE THAN 5 MINUTES <3 if it were up to me, our calls are gonna last YEARS

Most of all, I love how you are a whole 4 meters of a big guy but it turns out you’re the biggest softie I’ve ever met. I love how you always try to reach for my hand when we’re sitting across from each other at restaurants. I love how you take pauses in between moments just to say how much you appreciate the time we share together. I love how you always say thank you even when you don’t need to. I love how you’re so reassuring and I feel so safe when I’m with you.

[ivan-ivan-ivan-ivan]

Very few people make me this happy and I’m immensely grateful that one of them is you. You are to me as coffee is to ice, as gorengan is to rawit, as cool socks are to yellow boots, as a movie is to popcorn, as wireline is to cable, as I am to spotify, and as you are to low battery. If you asked me to do absolutely anything with you right at this second, there will only be a 2% chance of me not saying yes.

[ivan-ivan-ivan-ivan]

As you can probably tell, I’ve been all smiles this past month and you’re a huge reason behind it. I would absolutely go to the endz of the earth with you and I’ll do it with the biggest freakin grin on my face!!! I feel so secure when I’m with you, I didn’t think life could feel this warm and fuzzy again but you’ve proved me wrong. I haven’t felt hopeful in a long while, and I thank you for reawakening that feeling for me. You’ve evoked an excitement in me that I thought I was never going to see again. The tunnel was a very long and dark one for me but I forgot all about it as soon as I found out that the light at the end of it was you. I can’t wait for what’s to come.

[ivan-ivan-ivan-ivan]

No matter how tough it gets (at life or at work), I want you to know that I’ll try and give my bestestsszst to be here for you. I hope you’d continue to share chunks of your life with me. I truly hope we can be good for each other for however long we’re together. I miss you and I can’t wait to see you again. What keeps me going right now is knowing that each second I spend away from you is getting me closer to the seconds I’ll get to see you. Happy birthday, Ivan Ivan Ivan. Twenty-five and more of you to arise. Twenty-five with a lot to strive. A year older and a tad bit wiser. A year older with greater things on your shoulders. A year older and ready to take on the world through your thunders. I want to be beside you every step of the way. I adore you SO much, I wish you the mostest joyfulest year ahead <3