iwannagopartyiwannahavefun

[iwannagopartyiwannahavefun]

I hate when i hold stuff from months ago but like it still hurts and it hurts nore that i never talked about it but like highkey it doesnt matter and i shouldnt worry about it cause i dont wanna talk about it but i hate that i didnt because it hurt me but i cant say anything about it cause i say i forgot nd that i dont care when i actually dont care but i feel uncomfortable about it but not uncomfortable but uncomfortable and it sucks cause i cant explain these feelings and it sucks and i hate so much and i should probably forget about it but like everytime i go silent for too long i feel the hate in my heart bubbling up but i dont hate the person i just hate that i cant stop rhinking about the situation. Yk? Lmk

[iwannagopartyiwannahavefun]

I hate this i hate the feeling i have when i look at food, i either feel like its going to make me sick. Sometimes looking at food feels like trying to eat mold, i dont wanna eat mold, my body doesnt let me eat. But dometimes thats all i can do. Eat until i throw it up or throw up all my food after eating. I hate this i just want to be happy and i am but im not and its so hard not to relapse but i so desperately want to. The cuts have faded so it technically never happened. I hate this and i feel like i cant talk about it to anyone cause i feel abandoned by my friends. And i try to call and talk but i feel useless. Why should i chase? Should i chase? I hate this so much i hate hare hate summer. I just want everything to be normal. And on top of this i hate getting out of bed, i hate not being on the phone with someone. I just want to ve happy but ik i wont. Sometimes I contemplate just not caring anymore? I hate thinking like that but its all i can do.hahahahahahahahaha talk ti me yo hahahahahahahahaha i hate this hahahahahahahahaha hello hatred hahahahahaha home life is getting worse hahahahahaha

[iwannagopartyiwannahavefun]

I want her bad, out of nowhere ive started feeling like this. Bro i had a dream we were in a feild together and we were just happy, i hate this i hat liking people, it makes me sick but i cant stop. Why do i like people? Id it even liking them if i dont imagine my future with them? Like genuinely what does it mean to like someone. I dont know if its me liking someone or if im just bored yk? But i do like people and some i dream about ahem ahem cough cough. BRO I HATE THIS ITS SO CONFUSING 🥀💔

[iwannagopartyiwannahavefun]

Holy hell she did sweep it under the rug #FREE

[iwannagopartyiwannahavefun]

Im going to stop just because i want cute shorts for summer #onlyreason #reflectionoftheday #iwonderifshellremeber #probablysweepitundertherug #ihope #shesjustlikeme

I want to turn one of my pants into shorts cause they are skinny but they have gems on the booty and if i make short shorts theyll look good in theory

I do have a sewing machine and ive been meaning to sew ���🧐

I also want to make shirts and i can buy patterns from walmart (i almost put wattpad by default) 😁

[iwannagopartyiwannahavefun]

me cause what if i stop caring and dinstance myself so badly that no one knows im alive at the end of the day because my emotions around people make me so sick. I hate feemibg the way i feel and its so pathetic. By 2026 i will have 1 friend and i will bury myself in studies until im barely visble aroubd school and i will not do any extracurriculars abd i will never be home. Anyways the voices got to me and they have dimmed me so bad im anxious all the time and my heart hurts and my mom has asked me if i want therapy to make me more sociam but like in actuality nothibg is wrobg with me im just not puttibg in enough effort to be happy or okay. There is nothibg i can do anymore and atp im just goibg to let myself be the way i am and im not goibg to get better, ive tried, but i always fail and whays the point anymore? Why should i care how anyone but myself feels? I dont care anymore and ill stand on that. In just going to care about me and my bestfriend and my family.

[iwannagopartyiwannahavefun]

Siempre tienes un lugar en mi corazón, mente, hogar y vida. Nunca pienses que no eres suficiente para nadie cuando sí lo eres para mí; de hecho, eres más que suficiente. Me alegras el día, y si fueras un intruso, te recibiría en mi casa con los brazos abiertos. Te amo tomatito 🫶

[iwannagopartyiwannahavefun]

Heheheheheheh... how funny mom!!! I never do anything do i??? Ahhahahaa i definetly dont dread everything and almost everyone!!! And of course i love school and i dont hate everyone and im normal and i never do nothing around the house. You dont see how hard i work to keep you happy. I dont talk to you when you are upset or when you are mad and im tip toeing arou d everytime im near you to not make you mad. I also toatally dont clean the house at all and i dont watch after things you dont want to. Why am i just my grades to you? Why am i getting told to stop being friends with people just because of my grades? Why do you care so much? Why dont you care about how im doing? You cant lie and say you havent seen me bawling my eyes out over people. Is it beacuse you failed to pritect me? You are so sweet and i love you but please care more. I need you right now. Why do you do this? You make me happy and then put me down with a your fat or your grades are bad or you must think this or that. I cant take it anymore mom, my heart hurts, i have constant head aches, please just look at me for more than one second. I just need my mom, but you always are the one who makes me feel like im less than because of my grades. I cant take it anymore i genuinely cant, im turning emo and i will stop being friends with every one if thats what you want. But dont be upset when you see me alone all the time, and sad because i could be having so much fun. I feel like sometimes you wish i didnt have emotions. I miss when you were my mom. I just want my mom. Anyways!!! My mommy is just so fun!!! She yells because shes worried and not because shes losing her bragging rights!!!! Ahahahhahahahahahahahah everyday it gets worse and i cant take it anymore!!!!!!

[iwannagopartyiwannahavefun]

I hate being big i hate it i hate it i hate how clothes fit on me

[iwannagopartyiwannahavefun]

I hate everything i hate mysefl i hate and i hate and i cant stop hating. I nit pick at all i do, i get nervous around food, i throw everything up, my heart always hurts, my legs ache, my mind is always foggy, i feel dumb, i dont feel like me, i hate being a girl but i live it too, i hate and hate and wish i knew myself and what i was like, and i think everyone hates me and i know they do. I know deep down im unloveable and i can never be conmfortable with or without friends. I hate everything and i want out and i want to flee but i know i wont flee because im too scared. And im scared of change and i dont want to move abd some people know too much and im so unhappy but im happy too. And i hate everything and i cant stand it anymore. And my life is changing and i dont like it. I dont want to move, i dont want anything but i need and i yearn so much for everything. Im starting to think too hard again and i cant do that. And i refuse to let myself starve abd die. I cant starve, ill force feed myself over and over again. I wont die, im one month clean i cant let this happen anymore i need to get up. I want to be happy but me being happy is unatainable. I hate wanting things i cant have. And there is a 9ft trench full of ants that bite away at my insides and eventually they qill make their way out. And all i want to do is let it happen, i want to starve, i want to kill myself, i want to let everything go to shit and be fake to people. I want to change my life negatively so that i end up homeless on my 10th bottle of the day regretting every life decision ive ever made. I want to die miserable. I am miserable and i dont know how to explain. Everything makes me mad, i hate hearing people eat, i hate school, i hate eating, i hate doing chores, i hate sleeping, i hate my phone, i hate thinking, i hate people, i hate doing chores, i hate me, i hate so much and im so sad that i hate. It pisses me off when im pissed off. No one deserves that, i shouldnt be cursing people out in my brain. I shouldnt be happy that he got a heart attack. Im evil and i have been for the longest time, i hate and i hate and im evil im evil im evil. And i wish i was older and could stop being so vlose to people all the time. And im so tired and i need my mommy but i also dont need her and i need to be able to word vomit but i hate talking and my voice is so annoying, why am i so repulsive? I wouldnt be surprised if people found me repulsive. I find myself repulsive. I hate myself and my body and my thoughts and all the stuff that comes with being me. I hate being me. I want to die. I hate that i want to die. I have my life so good why am i determined to be mad and sad all the time. Anyways i used up all my battery 😅

[iwannagopartyiwannahavefun]

Me when i cant keep my mouth sgut and i feel like im always getting watched. I also hate people, the only one i can tolerate is my bestfriend, but aside from that i hate people. How do i explain that all of them touchung me made me feel shitty. I hate people and i hate everything. I also feel like people hate me, why am i so hateable. (Im not thats a lie! ) i hate them they make me want to throw up when im around them, i hate and i hate and the vouces are getting louder. I feel myself about to go down a deep trwnch. And idk what to do. I want to die, i want to kill myself. I want to be happy, why cant i be happy? Its almost as if there is someine holding me in their fist and its so suffocating and i cant get out. I want to leave i want to flee i want to escape i just want out i hate it i feel like im being smuggled under blankets or waterboarded. I think i dont let myself be as happy as i could be. I wish i knew myself more and i wish i knew myself and knew what was wrong witg me. Anyways !!! Im greedy and want to get told im loved 😋

[iwannagopartyiwannahavefun]

are you normal or does the realisation of waking up and having to live another day make you cry before you’ve even left ur bed

[iwannagopartyiwannahavefun]

"To be loved is to be seen and i see you"

AHHH AHHHH AHHHHH IM CUMING I LOVE YOU SO VERY MUCH

"I need you to know that you are never too much"

I love you so much you make my life

"Do NOT believe anyone who ever claims you to be too much, if someone is truly right for you, you will never be too much"

AHHHHH AHHHHH AHHHHHH

"I will always be here for you, either a call or text away"

Im going to hunt you down and keep ypu in aglass enclosure and take you everywhere with me, matter of fact i will marry you and keep you as my stay at home house husband on my ranch and buy you as many horses as you want and you can live out your car dreams.

[iwannagopartyiwannahavefun]

the 9ft trench between my folds 💔💔💔

[iwannagopartyiwannahavefun]

Do you hate me? (I ask for the 3rd time in an hour cause i feel like you hate me secretly)(i feel like an insecure girlfriemd)

[iwannagopartyiwannahavefun]

I genuinely wish it was me who got sick instead of my brother. I can avoid all the stuff about my weight but on thing will make it so real to me that im unhealthy. I legit am obese. Thats a wittle scary guys. And yes i could post rants where im saying every physical thing i hate about myself and all that jazz but i really dont want to think about myself. Ever since i was little everytime i cut my cake or it strikes 12 the only thing i widh is for to be skinny or die. I hate my body and everything that goes on with it. I hate how im out of breath when i move to quicmly or run or walk fast. I hate how when i walk i feel my bidy jiggle or when i jump i feel all the cellulite move. I hate how its always pointed out by my family. Literally all my life ive been called a fatty, since the moment i was born and most likely till the day i die. Everytime i talk wkth my grandma its always something regarding weight and how i can get skinnier. She gives me fuckass teas that dont work and tells me to starve myself just to get thinner. Ive been gifted so much weightloss stuff that doesnt work. And yes i could probably get in the gym but im always sad and dont want to get out of bed. And i hate feeling like im being watched while i run. I hate the gym because i feel like im getting watched. I hate shopping and trying clothes on because i feel the need to stare at myself in the mirror and pick away were i need less fat and then when i put on the clothes i find that they dont fit me and that causes me to bawl. I hate being big and fat and its all self pity because i know i dont try to change it healthly. That ontop of im ugly is kinda lethal ngl. I miss when i was oblivious to my family members 💔. I want to put a stopper down my throat and go back to only eat an almond a day and drink water and chew gum. But like lowk that was my prime, i think thats when i was always hydrated. I miss fitting into jeans and not being sad. Holy emo. Anyways! >_< i love life!

[iwannagopartyiwannahavefun]

The 9ft dih in my anus rots with hatred. 💔🪽