iwritetohelpdestressmyself-blog

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What the fuck.... again?

she reaches into her backpack for her phone, she dials her mother. Shes been waiting at the school for nearly 2 hours. Her and her sister are sweating like pigs and shes drhydrated and very angry. 

ring ring ring

oh my gawd.. i cant believe shes done this agin

ring ring ring 

ugghhhHSHFHHF

ring ring ring 

if she doesnt pick up im gonna be so mad 

ring ring ring 

the nnumber you have dialed had been disconnnected or no lon---

fuck ,,, ugh ,,, why,, does she KEEP DOING THIS???!

What the fuck,,, again?

she keeps changing her phone like every week and we can’t go home noe

she now has to call her brother to pick her up 

ugh 

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THIS VIDEO PLEASE WATCH IT

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Personal Top 10 Movies of This Year*

*Films released between the 2018 Academy Awards up to the 2019 Awards*

10. Avengers: Infinity War (dir. Russo Brothers)

9. Beast (dir. Michael Pearce)

8. A Star Is Born (dir. Bradley Cooper)

7. Hereditary (dir. Ari Aster)

6. Mary Poppins Returns (dir. Rob Marshall)

5. Roma (dir. Alfonso Cuarón)

4. Widows (dir. Steve McQueen)

3. The Favourite (dir. Yorgos Lanthimos)

2. First Man (dir. Damien Chazelle)

1. Suspiria (dir. Luca Guadagnino)

Interested to see other lists, feels bad to see Widows, First Man and Suspiria missing out on the film awards circuit.

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Sneak Peek of my buddy’s film the Neighborhood Fighters 3 which will be coming soon! My character gets KNOCKED THE HECK OUT! 😁 - - - - TAGS #act #actor #acting #actors #actorsaccess #actorsonactors #actorslife #georgiaactor #risingstar #risingactor #streetfighter #tampafilms #knockedout #onepunch https://www.instagram.com/p/BtzeHu2hf4x/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1mftmvmkrr93e

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Scene; Library

The girl who comes to meet hhim at the same library every saturday morning at 9:45 am is 23 years younger than him. They started this freindship a few weeks ago, they tumbled into each others lives.

He was a 38 year old man with an unknowingly failing marriage and the same goes for his career. He comes to the library to find peace and quiet, and find comfort among the books. He is a teacher and teaches at a private catholic highschool a few miles away. This is a main library and a big librarby would be a understatement.

The girl comes to the library to find peace and quiet. She enjoys the smell of a book and likes how you can get a cup of whipped cream for 0.75 cents in the cafe on the main floor. She comes to the library on the bus and finishes her homework, watches films, and reads book to escape the inpending reality that she isn’t ready for life. She has the necessary skills to live independently but she dosen’t have a career plan or a career, because honestly that bores the fuck out of her. The library is the escape form school, home, and all the other bs in her life that results in alot of stress and freakouts between her and her mom. She has a big family and is expected to do things that a traditional woman should.

They tumbled into each others life as if it were meant to happen, for a couple weeks he and her timidly spied on each other . She would take a peak then roll to the next bookcase as if she were a spy on a secret mission. He would spot her alone on the cafe patio, she was listening to music while drinking coffee and reading a book.

They started talking to each other when the girls friends older sister wanted the mans phone number. Like a fucking robot she took action, she swiftly left and approached him (like how alysssa did to james in the end of the f***ing world). She asked him now his day was, and is the seat was taken, She took a glance at the group of her friends at the window behind the bushes. He was grading papers.

Before she could explain her situation he dismissed her and asked is she was partaking in some kind of dare, a teenager game. She said no and unknowingly took offense. He seemed like a strong moral man he was tall, but his eyes and soul seemed sad. He was like a moutain. He appeared big like a moutain, but he fell short in some areas that were important. He has erosion, cliffs about to fall, huge rocks on the edge. He may appear a big one, but he is hollow and lets the river affect him immensly, he could easily tip and crash.

She found the same thing in her mother, yet she wasn’t as affected by those around her.

She ended up changing the subject to the papers he was grading, and his day, on any normal occasion he would have said no or how he was too busy for this but ... he needed any social time he could get.

Him and his wife had recently had a child, he was 2 years old. Slowly they are relizing how wrong they were. They rushed themselves, they loved each other immensly, they had this fire in them, but like all matches they burnt out. They rushed this idea of having child like it was theirs, they thought it was their idea, but it was their parents and no he feels like he can’t escape becuse now he was a child. He wife is starting to grow bitter, she drinks a bit more and goes out a bit more everyday. Once he husband starts to talk about the girl he met at the library midway throught the story she grows jealous.

She grows on him , and this sprouts  a friendship between the two of them. They read passages of books they find intriging to another. He likes her personality because she is like a foutain of youth and makes him forget that he has as much responsibilities. They both escape through the library. She like his company, beacuse he dosen’t have raging hormones like the boys at her school, the man respects her , askes about her day and he is like a bridge to her. The man is like a bridge from adolessent to adulthood. He is her light in the dark, and she is like his personal foutain of youth . This platonic relationship of friendship is showing how both generations can benefit form one another.

She shows him funny dance moves and memes, tiktoks, and dont laugh comps. He tells her stories of his past, and wisdom by giving her advice on her weekly dilemas. They always have something to give one another on each session they have, its like a weird ass therapy session in a way. They help one another, its like a friendship at first, then evolves into a father daughter one in time.

I want there to be a scence where both of their families are affected by their friendship. Shes affected hes effected. Her live becomes better, becauses he sometimes gives her his bus cards, so she can afford other things. One night he allows her and her siblllings to crash on his couch and living  room, beause they don’t feel welcomed in their own.

He is effected me their friend ship, because he finally realizes how toxic his family is and how manipulative, and angry they made him. He buried his past, but now his coming out from the dead and pullling him into hell. At first its as if the girl turned his life to hell, but its his awarness that does, He was never suspicous of his family, he didn’t question his mother, his siblings or his wife for that matter.  I want to do a scene where he relizes how fucked up his family is .

A pool scene, where his older brother says a dirty joke about the girl, and his wife begans to degrade her while on her last glass of wine. This automatically esccalates. The kids started to stay at his place during the school break. The girl feels like she has more control in her life. and the man feel like his life and barely begun. He feels anxious on how to live out his life now with his child, but they have their friendship of a lifetime and this lasts throughout all the hardship they face.

I want them to be in a scene like the one in GoodWill Hunting where the professer asks if hes ok and increases the intensity by taking a step forward and repeating the phrases. By the time that the distance is closed he is crying on hsi shoulder and asking why was he treated like he was and old wounds open up and shows his vunerbility and emotional side.

As children were encouraged to not show emotion and this rips us form our true nature and leaves us bottled up for our whole lives. In a scene live this i want it to delicate that descend to heartbreak and sadness. I want there to a switch in the power dynamic, i want to shed the curtain of toxic masculinity, he dosen’t want to become his brother or his dad. He was shed of emotion at a young age and has kept it bottled up for years. He falls to his knees and lets the old wounds come out and cries, he just cries his heart out. He only cries with this girl because she has no expectations of him,  she creates a safe place for him, she allows him feel vunerable.

She acts like a mother to him, by creating a safe place for him and giving him her shoulder. She dosen’t want to become like her mother so she has more qualities than most kids her age have. She wants to be the person she needs when she was younger. 

And he acts like a father to her, he helps her feel protected, secure, powerful. He makes her feel like she can rely on a person, he tells her its gonna be alright. He get her food and helpe her sibllings. He helps ehr grow her character and tell her anout kids these days and what it means to be a actual person.

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*Me when I was writing that script for a class, ages ago*

*Teacher* “The lead girl is too whiny, too weak. Flawed. Annoying. Screechy. She cries too much.”

*Me* “The character I wrote was very human. If I have to give a female character Kung Fu skills for her to be cool and acceptable, then someone somewhere has failed, no?”

When you actually realize the key problem with Joss Whedon’s writing. 

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*curtsies* hello! I recently saw the ask where someone stated that If We Were Villains is a romance not a tragedy, and that really intrigued me. I found this article, (i can't include the link but it's from calpoly. edu and the link is titled Romance (Tragi-comedy)), and I'm kind of convinced now. I know you won't answer decisively about IWWV, but what do you think of the article's claims? Thank you! Good luck with Burton!

*Curtsies* I haven’t read it and frankly I don’t have time to add anything to my reading list right now but what I would say is that many works of art don’t fit neatly into one genre or another (including many of Shakespeare’s plays) and trying to make a definitive decision about a book like Villains which is so essentially ambiguous might be a bit of a fool’s errand. 

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Why i want to start reading Shakesphere

I never put much thought into shakesphere’s work, i have never devoted a part of myself to a writer or a certain author. I can’t quote poems, i can’t memorize a script (i have never really tried). I haven’t ever thought to study shakesphere in such a intensity that was personal rather than to get a slim b in my 9th grade english class. I want to study shakesphere, because i want to understand him and what he meant and how he changed the world of writting and why so many peole talk about him now even though he has been dead for centuries. I also like the aesthetism of reciting his words( i know im a dweeb and a bit of a romantic) and i also want to seem like im intelligent more than my older sister by reciting and understanding his words more than her (lol im just kidding). I want to study him for my well being and kind of  a devotion or in rememberance of my teachers in school. Itll be for my english teachers from 7th grade to 9th grade, these teachers they caused my to look deeper within myself for at least something that resonates writting skills, and helped me pass english with a A. My teacher in ombudsman last year though showed such passion, such beautiful fucking passion for teaching us, we were’t great students, well i wasn’t . We were dropouts, we went to an alternative school. I went their from 11 to 3pm. I loved my english teacher and her looks  were a bonus ( im just kidding it was a joke im not objectifying my english teacher). She loving reading us romeo and juliet and making us question their motivation and the vocabulary of shakesphere back in the day. I really feel like she make us come a bit outta of our shells and communicate with one another. She once gave us a excericse to write a couple verses in each part of romeo and juliet...... ugh.. OMFG it was hella cringy. We had to write it as if we were ... like.. in the hood and we wre using street slang and such.uGAHFHGHHG- I was mercutio and sometimes romeo. We switched roles alot each day since kids usually missed school to watch their kid or their sibling or had work or couldn’t make it or didn’t want to. And do u wanna know who was the writer?

The writer was a mexican guy who was  18, and apparently he has a daughter and has a apartment with his baby momma. Anyway he wrote the script, i understood most of the slang he used since you know we lived in the ghetto here and there in our chiidhood, but gurl i had to use the urban dictionary on some of these words. .........................I HAD TO SAY THESE WORDS IN FRONT OF THE CLASS AND A VIDEOCAMERA. I never saw how i looked in teh recording because i left once she announced it. OOF the words tho. Boiiiiii they were so not me. I didn’t do much words because i was hella introverted. I still am i bit nowdays, i don’t think i still would say them in front of the class...oof.

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At my college there’s this idea we throw around: “Don’t do theatre unless it’s the only thing you can do.” Which like I get the romantic sentiment behind it but honestly it just leads to people having their whole lives consumed by theatre and they get burnt out and they’re unhappy with their lives. I’ve seen it time and time again. Honestly the best advice I’ve ever received was “make sure you’re a person before you’re a theatre person.” Make sure you can have a life outside of the theatre so that you’re not all consumed by it. I’m much happier because of it and I’m still loving every moment I spend in the theatre, even though it’s not the only aspect of my life. Don’t allow yourself to burn out on your passion and forget to cultivate a well rounded life. Theatre does not have to be the Be All and End All of everything in order for you to still enjoy it. Just a little thought pebble for you theatre folk out there.

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I wish I could act with them because damn that’d be fun

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Let’s enjoy some Hamlet soliloquies by popular BBC actors

Just because.

David Tennant, BBC character claim to fame: Doctor Who (Doctor Who)

Benedict Cumberbatch, BBC character claim to fame: Sherlock (Sherlock)

Andrew Scott, BBC character claim to fame: Moriarty (Sherlock)

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“Part of our job is to observe human behavior and reflect it back to people so they can feel less alone in the world.”

Sarah Paulson

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Why Tilda Swinton Is An Actor To Look Up To

1. Versatility: Often double-cast in her films to show off her range, Tilda easily takes command of introverts and extroverts, characters of high and low intelligence, gracefulness and gracelessness.

2. Lack of self consciousness: Despite known for her unique look, Tilda Swinton is an example of an actress never trying to look desirable in her work. She throws herself into unlikable and grotesque characters without patting herself on the back.

3. Humanity: Never straying to archetypes, her performances in “Snowpiercer”, “Okja” and “We Need To Talk About Kevin” in particular are notable for her commited empathy of highly flawed characters, resulting in deeply layered work.

4. Playfulness: Despite often taking heavy roles in dark films, her performances often project the joy and fun she clearly has had in creating her characters, bringing energy and life into her characters. In other words, experimenting and not taking herself too seriously.

5. Curiosity: Watching Tilda across multiple roles makes it clear she consistently tries to try new ideas in her performances and never repeat herself, leading to a large variety of roles in many genres.

6. Collaborators: Some of Tilda’s best work has come from working with directors repeatedly, showing the value of collaborating with artists she can connect with as equals. From Wes Anderson and Luca Guadagnino to Bong Joon-Ho, the creative input she’s been able to achieve by surrounding herself with artists with which she shares mutual respect has produced wonderful results.

In short, she’s a badass and one of the most accomplished living actors in full control of her craft.

Hats off to this living legend.

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Yaoi Fans

Fujoshi: Girls who enjoy yaoi (a genre in japan that conatains sexual and/or romantic relations between two men)

Yaoi fans its okay if you want to read fanfic, manga, anime that invlves two gay men/straight guys , guys do the same thing (yuri). Just please dont cross that line. The line between reality and fantasty.If you are shipping two males that are fictionally then you can write what you want, but it gets a little more sensative for actors in live action shows. For actors try not to force your ships and fantasies on them in reality. Do not hate on the writers of a specific show because they aren’t making your ship canon. Writers spend hours, week cultivating their characters and spend alot of time on these shows. Dont harass the actors, creators of certain fandoms,because they don’t beckon to your personal fantasies . Dont hate on her ships current hetero spouse, because of their gender not their character.   create what you like as long as it isn’t hurting you or others around you. Its fun to be in a fandom and fangirl/boy over a certain show, book, universe. 

This goes to everyone whether you are a fujoshi, a boy who likes yuri, a girl who like gay couples, a guy who likes lesbians, or someone who likes either or both, its fun to be in a fandom, just take some time for yourself and don’t indulge too much or you’ll miss whats around you. Take some time off, turn off your device and smell the flowers, the wind, and go outside and talk to others. Dont spend hours upon hours to a fandom, don’t let it rob you of your time. Fanfic is cool, anime is nice, shows are fun, just remember to take some time off once in a while, dont harass others because of their ships( as long as it isn’t toxic), and please respect the creators of the fandom you so desperatley love. Be kind and spread love not hate. 

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Masturbation could be a problem (for you)

Many teens are having problems with masturbation, it is a serious habit that some feel they can’t break, and it follows them into adulthood. Porn could be find anywhere on the internet and younger teens fall prey to this bad habit. Sure a time here in there is acceptable due to hormones and losing the risk of teen pregnancy. However, a teen shouldn’t masturbate everyday for self satisfaction or to get that dopamine high because you are “bored”. Because you find yourself “bored” everyday. 

Masturbation could lead to psychological effects. And many men face this, women do as well wven though it is hidden more than they lead on.  Porn could lead to people becoming more interested in a person’s body than their character. Porn leads to the objetification of men/women. Porn is really addicting for teenagers due to their hormones during/after puberty. Masturbation could lead to teens having this unrealistic fantasy about sex and their future partner in life, which could lead to unsatisfied marriages, objectification of men and women. Porn is okay in modderation, just don’t masturbate every day. 

There are many psycological and physical effects of masturbation and pornography. Physical effects could be skin irritation for both sexes, and cause damage to the nerves that allow ejaculation for men.. leading to premature ejeculation.

For men it could cause:

fatigue

weakness

early ejaculation 

injury to penis 

vision changes 

lower back pain 

testical pain

Ways that you prevent masturbation is divert your excessive energy in a more healthy way:

yoga

meditation

listening to music

joining dance classes

following an excercise routine such as aerobics, running, cycling, swimming, etc. 

You can know that your excessively masturbation when:

it causes you significant distress

you are masturbating multiple times per day to escape from stress or realities of day to day life. 

you are regularly injure yourself by rubbing aggressively 

you hardly have time for your friends or family as you are too busy pleasuring yourself.

you constantly feel lustful and fight the urge to pleasure yourself.

you experience pain in your genitals.

sources: planned parenthoood (alot more helpful information!), practo.com/male masturbation: side effects, benefits, and risks