izvmimi - Tumblr blog

[izvmimi]

Tanjimimi modes of sex [Official List ascending in intensity]:

full nelson

Full Nelson™️

FULL Nelson

FULL NELSON

i’m crying yes but pls he treats me gently sometimes 😭

[izvmimi]

the fact that izuku is supposed to be plain looking (and i still think that’s temporary i think he’s absolutely a knockout by the time he gets older) is so important to me because nothing in his life has been easier or more accessible by the halo effect of being pretty or cute, he’s inspiring cuz of what he has to say and offer always rather than be something to look at or admire

[izvmimi]

a surprising number of you are picking scary dog privilege… lemme guess sukuna or bkg

[izvmimi]

do you think tanjiro can smell which position you're most desiring when you tell him you want to have sex?

i love that these smelling headcanons are only getting more unhinged HAHHAHAHAHAHAHA

yk sure but only in the sense that he can tell if i want sweetness or gentle sex or if i wanna feel him as deep as the level of the ligament of treitz

[izvmimi]

you really notice their looks last. they’re beautiful because they’re warm or simply as an afterthought, while you’re taking the time to observe them to really take them in.

how they look doesn’t really matter in the grand scheme of things, greatly overshadowed by their personality or their mission.

my faves are always really pretty in a very plain sort of way and i think that explains a lot about me

[izvmimi]

my faves are always really pretty in a very plain sort of way and i think that explains a lot about me

[izvmimi]

Biden better plant some votes if he wants that election bc I don’t see it for that hoe at all….. he better go to them Illuminati meetings and pop some pussy otherwise it’s curtains for grandpa

[izvmimi]

I want to be loved/cherished/respected in a real romantic relationship (and I am!), but I can't deny the pull of wanting to write about something toxic and harmful with some guy who just oozes disrespect and cockiness and ego. Who would make you feel like shit but then love you so good you can't see straight. That push and pull, the passion, the knowledge that there's someone out there who's better for you but you love him, and you don't feel as if you deserve anything better because you know his ins and outs (and he knows yours) and it's a comfortable discomfort to know that at the end of the day, he might (not) be there for you, but fuck if you don't save him leftovers from dinner or sleep on your own side of the bed or wear his shorts to sleep in. He's awful. He's mean. You love him.

[izvmimi]

Ohhh my God, the current VA for Foghorn Leghorn actually dubbed it.

[izvmimi]

yeah

[izvmimi]

I never told my wife I had an ex-fiancee 

One thing I never told my wife is that I had a fiancee before her. It’s a long story, so buckle up.

It was the year after I graduated college. I was dating my girlfriend, Stephanie, for a couple years and things were getting serious. At the time, I had my roommate, Joey, but he was a Craigslist roommate. We didn’t know each other very well. If you asked me how I knew him aside from Craigslist, the answer is I didn’t. He wouldn’t even tell me where he grew up.

Now, no shit, on the day I was going to propose, tragedy struck. I adorned our apartment with candles and even set up a nice glass display with framed pictures of me and Steph on top. Before Steph came in, Joey walked in and tripped. He actually shattered the glass display and got some in his face. Steph came in a few minutes later as I was on the phone with 911. Fortunately, Steph is a nurse, so she was able to patch him up as the three of us went to the hospital together.

Joey would recover, but he had some issues with glass on his face. He needed some cotton gauze inside his eye, which fortunately the doctors were able to save.

Clearly, I put off my proposal for the time being, but Steph and I agreed to get married. Our engagement was hush hush. Steph’s hours were wonky so she took care of Joey when I wasn’t around. And I should’ve seen the red flags, but I ignored them. They’d hang out together with and without me. They’d be in Joey’s room and lock the door.

One day, I came home and all of Joey’s stuff was gone. He moved out. Steph wrote a note. The note said, “We fell in love and we’re leaving together. Don’t try to find us.”

I didn’t listen and I searched, but true to the note, I couldn’t find them. I’ll never know what happened.

Suffice to say,

if it hadn’t been for Cotton-Eye Joe

I’d have been married a long time ago.

Where did you come from, where did you go?

Where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?

[izvmimi]

lonely…. let me let this man nut inside me at least three times a day and twice as many times on saturday

[izvmimi]

mochi left me unattended for a little over a month and she came back to me, tanjiro and 5 kids and that’s why you have to pay attention to your loved ones

[izvmimi]

What’s all the giggling about

you know exactly LMAOOO

[izvmimi]

this is the money chilchuck of good fortune, rb for wealth & union contracts to come your way

[izvmimi]

get you a man who despite his literal decades of practice repressing and hiding his emotions to survive physically cannot hide how smitten he is with you