just a girl who struggled with ana and BED. but today is different, today i’m doing good.
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it’s so hard to find help for BED ???
Every recovery self care post on here is like “make sure to eat you deserve it <33” but as soon as you make something like “Overeating is harmful” you get flagged as pro @n@ …
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ate chia pudding and a cup of matcha for breakfast, life rlly doesnt get better than this
i need to calm down a breakfast shouldnt give me this much joy, knowing i can have it everyday of my life
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this app is dead asf but im hopeful bc its the only thing that got me out of BED last april (and launched me into ana lmfao) but now if i use it for good… if i only follow the good recovery tags… maybe ill be normal ?
why is life so hard ive kinda lost hope generally
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Past account got nuked which i’m happy about because i was writing so much pro @n@ shit that i think i was genuinely damaging the community.
So here i am making a wholesome blog (mostly to talk to myself lmfao aint nobody reading all of this) to vent about my recovery.
My goals ? Not have food on my mind 24/7 and be skinnier. I’m doing well with my @n@ recovery, i’m basically healed, but now it means i never let myself be hungry because it reminds me of that period of my life. So it turns out i’m eating when i’m full, which only fuels my BED which i’ve had since i was 8 basically (i’m 20 now).
I’m circlung back and forth around the same w8, and nothing i try seems to work. For me L00sing w8 would be a symbol of having conquered my BED. I don’t agree with all these wanna be youtube therapists saying you have to fully let go of the desire to L0se w8 to recover. Beauty standarts are all around us and i’m not ready to go reach anlightenment to cure my BED. I cant let go of wanting to be lighter, not until i reach it and see what the fuss is all about.
Now i dont really binge anymore, i mostly erratically snack which adds up to a lot. I go thru phases where i only eat sweets, which obv is bad for my health. I’ve made a rule to stop the habit of eating sweets after lunch and it seems to work quite well.
I’m adding another one of no snacking after dinner. Kinda bypassed both of these today but whatever every day is a new day. Having rules around food is sometimes needed: i wouldnt let my child eat like me. Its unhealthy.
list of rules for now:
- no sweets after lunch
- no snacks after dinner
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