izzyslade

[izzyslade]

text 💬 genzy

Izzy: You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.

Izzy: So fucking lame. Next time use knives!

[izzyslade]

text 💬 spizzy

Izzy: Shit you should make sure no one ever says to me again: 'You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!'

Izzy: Thinking about G3 makes me want to VOMIT, next person who reminds me I spite-kissed him walks the PLANK.

[izzyslade]

text 💬 jizzy

Izzy: I told you I’d ride your broomstick if you let me call you Harry Potter and you drew a lightning bolt on your forehead.

Izzy: I can't believe you fell for that shit, how embarrassing for you.

[izzyslade]

text 💬 izj

Izzy: just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life

[izzyslade]

text 💬 izston

Izzy: It’s all fun and games till someone says you’re so pretty they could punch you and they, you know, punch you

Izzy: Good thing you've got abs of steel, babe, anyone else I would have knocked them the fuck out.

[izzyslade]

text 💬 tizzy

Izzy: That’s a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.

Izzy: Are you going to try to tell me someone stole your clothes, or are you going to tell me the real story?

[izzyslade]

text 💬 open

Izzy: So... should I have LED with telling my gun-loving dad that I had a boyfriend the second he arrived in Auradon? Or was it a good call to give him a little time to adjust to his freedom first?

[izzyslade]

TEXT 🤡 IZJ

CJ: The princes seem WAY prissier than the princesses if you ask me and punishing men for sucking is more fun so let's do one of those! Chad feels like too easy of a target buuuuuuut maybe that'll just make it extra fun, we won't know unless we try! EVERYONE KNOWS I'M THE SMARTEST, some people just don't want to admit it because then they'll have to admit I'm good at everything which means they have no excuse for being turd buckets. And they like their excuses, you know.

Izzy: [read]

[izzyslade]

text 💬 izston

Junior: I don't know why they like squishy in the first place. Probably because of all their dumb parents' love stories. The couples they ooh and aww over are going to be in way over their heads once they leave school though and we? Are gonna be fucking golden.

Junior: How would we get Eddie to go to a church or a library? Either sounds tough.

Izzy: Real talk, are their parents love stories even that good? One dude had a foot fetish, one made out with a sleeping chick - wait no, that was two of them. One was the first man a lady saw in her whole entire life, like... I could keep going, but do I really need to?

Izzy: Churches have singing, that's probably way easier. Libraries you're supposed to be quiet and can you imagine that dude going 30 seconds without talking about himself?

[izzyslade]

[izzyslade]

TEXT 🧣 COLZZY

Colton: I had to look those up but they do look more suburban cowboy so you mighta just solved my cold neck problem! Thank you kindly, Izzy!

Colton: I guess we'd HAVE to, on account of I can't picture it being sexy at all. Choking is scary! Does that just mean I'd have to be the choker?

Izzy: Yeah, sure, you're welcome. Those are way better for being active anyway. Like, have you ever seen someone wear a SCARF to ski?

Izzy: No, you won't get it unless someone else is the one choking you! You'd be the choke-y! Quick, who's someone you've always wanted to bang?

[izzyslade]

text 💬 jazzy

Jason: I usually always wear a vest but I'm a tough boy!! I can handle it. 💪

Izzy: Pro-tip? Calling yourself a 'tough boy' makes you sound like you're about 12.

[izzyslade]

sling shots

Not the best weapon, but they have their time and place. 

Ask my character "How do you feel about ______?"

[izzyslade]

making your own pirate crew

I don’t even care enough to be a full time member of someone else’s crew; why would I want to do the work to run my own?

Ask my character "How do you feel about ______?"

[izzyslade]

paintball versus laser tag

Paintball is obviously better. You can literally feel the pain of losing, unlike with those stupid lasers.

Ask my character "How do you feel about ______?"

[izzyslade]

birth control

Yeah, give me all of that. If @gastonthejr and I did have a kid right now, it would still be the coolest kid in the whole freaking world... but also, we don’t like, need one yet.

Ask my character "How do you feel about ______?"

[izzyslade]

how do you feel about having sex in public?

Anyone who’s peeped me and @gastonthejr doing it in public... you’re welcome.

Ask my character "How do you feel about ______?"