j-mysticalien

[j-mysticalien]

* (Oh, these parentheses I keep opening?

* (I'm collecting them.

* (Right now, I'm 1,762 parentheses deep.

* (Oh, my precious parentheses... (I don't ever want to close them!

[j-mysticalien]

I think it needs to become common knowledge that "inability to read social cues" can show up as overcompensating.

You don't know how much misbehaviour is allowed, so you become the perfect child who never tests rules.

You don't know if someone is irritated with you, so you'll be extra generous and self-effacing.

You don't know how much is expected of you at work so you'll kill yourself in a minimum-wage job and not notice that nobody else is working like this.

"Hardworking and quiet" should be as much of an autism red flag as "ignores rules and doesn't know when to stop talking". Or why don't we just start using words to communicate so i can stop tracking everybody's eyebrow twitches, that would be great.

[j-mysticalien]

saw this cute post and now I'm not going on reddit for the rest of the day. quit while you're ahead

[j-mysticalien]

I know that some British people take umbrage at Americans calling the Great British Bake Off relaxing, but it's just because GBBO is such a different kind of stressful from American baking shows.

American baking shows will be called something like "Cupcake Knife Fight", there's horror movie lighting everywhere and dramatic stings every 5 seconds. All of the contestants are shit talking each other and fist fighting over the one single deep fryer provided by production. It will show the judges all whispering to each other at their super villain table overlooking the whole kitchen, and one will be like, "Oh my god. Everyone look at Brenda right now. She's straight tanking it." And it will cut to Brenda, who is running around covered in flour and crying and also bleeding for some reason. Then you get a clip from an interview with one of the contestants, and they're like, "I really need to win this. Without this award money, I'm gonna need to close my restaurant, sell my dad, and live out of my car. AGAIN." Then the giant digital doomsday clock overhead lets out a horrid klaxon, the judges tell half of them that their cupcakes taste disgusting, and one of them gets eliminated and sent to walk down the dramatically-lit shame hallway never to be seen again.

Meanwhile GBBO is in a lovely, brightly colored tent, there are delightful and friendly hosts/jesters there to keep everyone entertained, and all of the B Roll is of like... a bumblebee going into a flower, or a lamb running in a field. And yes, there will be moments where someone will mess up their timing or something, and they'll be looking at their bake through the oven door like, "oh gosh I don't think this will rise in time!" Then they stand up to find Paul Hollywood directly behind them ominously. His creepy whitewalker eyes will glow white, and he'll say something like "the 12th of June. 2035. Drowning." And his eyes will go back to normal and he'll walk away. Then the baker gives a playful grimace to the camera and says "that didnt sound great, did it?". Cut to a sweet looking older woman sipping tea on a stool and she says "oo I do hope that Prue enjoys the taste of my sugary, sticky baps!". Then, at the end, someone gets a gold star for doing good, and the loser of the episode gets in the middle of a giant group hug. You see all of them at the end of the series at a giant carnival with their families and the post credits informs you that all of the contestants have become a Partridge Family-style traveling band and stayed friends forever.

[j-mysticalien]

me logging onto tumblr after consuming a new piece of media

[j-mysticalien]

SHOOTING CIVILLIANS POINT BLANK. SHE WAS TRYING TO GET HOME AND THEY SHOT HER FOR NO REASON. GET THIS FOOTAGE OUT!

[j-mysticalien]

my five beautiful mysterious daughters. I don't know who you are and I'm kind of scared to find out

[j-mysticalien]

Your yearly reminder that polyamorous people are queer in every sense that matters.

Unsupported by government, unable to marry the people we love. Risking consequences if we come out within our family, if we come out at our work, in custody arguments against a non-polyamorous person because we are considered a danger or bad influence on children. A challenge to heteronormative conceptions of what love and relationships are meant to be.

Most polyamorous people are queer to start with, because once you start questioning heteronormativity, you start asking other questions about what a sexual or romantic or committed relationship should be. But that doesn't mean that polyamory isn't inherently queer in and of itself.

Please don't forget us in your queer positivity posts. Please don't forget us when you think about what queerness encompasses.

I've seen countless people, many who are fellow queers, talk shit about poly relationships because "they never last", as if most relationships last? As if most people don't have several exes? Meanwhile I'm sitting here in my stable triad polycule that.... in a couple years I will have been in this polycule for as long as I was outside of it (you know, when I was a child). It's an open polycule too, we've all had relationships outside of the triad and we're all still good and happy with each other. My triad has outlasted my heterosexual parents' marriage by many many years.

Stop being weird about poly people. We're exactly as queer as the rest of queer people, and we need you to recognize that.

[j-mysticalien]

just me and my shit yaoi from a thing thats bad

[j-mysticalien]

When writing fan fiction it is so so important to include something that is absolutely hilarious to you specifically

[j-mysticalien]

Four of Swords. Art by Jesse Lonergan, from The Unveiled Tarot.

[j-mysticalien]

daily affirmations:

i am kind

i am in control of my emotions

it does not bother me when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

everyone in the house has the right to be in the kitchen

i am kind and in control of my emotions even when someone is in the kitchen while i was planning to be in there alone

[j-mysticalien]

[j-mysticalien]

genuinely irritated about the prevalence of brother-sister character designs where the brother has a huge nose and the sister has a tiny nose. 1) why are you a coward who hates the joy and beauty of women with big noses 2) have you looked at any real human siblings lately 3) why do you appear to think the nose is a secondary sex characteristic

[j-mysticalien]

i must not take it personal. taking it personal is the mind killer. taking it personal is the little death that brings total oblivion. i will face taking it personal. i will permit it to pass over and through me. and when it has gone past i will turn the inner eye to see its path. when the taking it personal has gone there will be nothing. only i will remain

[j-mysticalien]

i love pappy very much

[j-mysticalien]

gadzooks! my game? It be'eth changed!