j-peters0n - Tumblr blog

[j-peters0n]

Tolya.

Not ‘actual footage’, but this is a pretty accurate representation of me and my gf.

She, bless her patient soul, would be the one in yellow.

[j-peters0n]

Happy 25th bday - here’s 10+ lbs of cinnamon

So apparently some of the traditions here in DK are one of these to others:

a) Really fucking weird b) Really fucking interesting c) Strangely alarming d) All of the above

A prime example? Having friends/family/both quite literally throw spices at you on your birthday - if you’re unmarried.

25 and unmarried? Cinnamon. 30 and unmarried? Black pepper.

Why, though? A damn good question. Probably because humans in general are strange creatures and find the darndest ways to amuse themselves, but there is  a historical explanation, too. At least for the pepper thing.

The colloquial term in DK for someone who is 30+ and unmarried would be either ‘pebermø’ (F) or ‘pebersvend’ (M) - ‘peber’ being the DK word for ‘pepper’, just to be clear. The female term is more recent (1700s), while the male version seems to be the original, and started popping up in the 1500s.

Why pepper? That’s acutally pretty simple - because spice traders. Spice traders dealt heavily in pepper around here, and because they spent such a big portion of their lives traveling, settling into a romantic relationship was extraordinarily difficult. They either got married very late (for the time period) or didn’t get married at all.

Okay, but then why cinnamon? That’s definitely a human thing. Cinnamon at 25 became a thing way more recently - 1960s - because some dudes in my neck of the woods didn’t want to wait for their pals to turn 30 before they could mess with them. So subtract 5 years, change to a different spice et voila!

Is it still happening? Oh fuck yes it is. How bad or creative it gets depends entirely on the vict-- er, birthday boy/girl’s friends and family, and at least in regards to cinnamon at 25, on where in DK you are.

(Friendly reminder: DK is tiny. ~6mil people. Landmass 1/3 the size of the state of Maine, for those across the pond. Yet, we still have localized traditions. WTF?)

Ultra-light version of turning 25 is nearer to the DK capital - Copenhagen. There, you might get a few sticks of cinnamon taped to your gift, card or whatever. Easy.

Light version is... probably what happened to me. Various forms of cinnamon attached to presents and cards, + 1lb of food-grade cinnamon dumped over my head after I put a cap on.

After that... Well, there are some serious precautions to take first, tbh. Because after that?

For reference, the precautions, because as you may have guessed, the above isn’t exactly 100% safe.

Make sure the birthday boy/girl actually wants the above to happen. You know, unless you’re a total asshole

Make sure they’re wearing

Old clothes

A good face mask

Goggles

Hold any electronics for them

Douse them in cold water - this makes the pores on the skin close up, and makes it easier to wash off afterwards

Only then start playing with the cinnamon. Which, in the above examples is probably not food-grade, or I doubt you could buy 10 lbs of it for ~$70 US.

Weirdly, the pepper thing is practically pedestrian in comparison. At least aside from the modern monuments that might just be lovingly hand-crafted by your adoring friends. They usually include - but are not limited to! - empty oil drums, because those were originally welded together to form giant ‘pepper mills’.

Yup. Happy birthday!

[j-peters0n]

Well done, America. ♥

Now, please, hang in there until the actual inauguration and

KEEP VOTING

EVERY TIME

Voting is not your right, but your duty.

[j-peters0n]

cooked bell pepper because just.... gross

but raw bell pepper is awesome

ppl w adhd and autism reblog and add what texture is so awful it haunts your dreams its okay if its incredibly specific ill go first: scratching my nails on a car

[j-peters0n]

For some reason, this strikes me as a Very Danish Thing™.

We have an official document that uses the word ‘sweetheart’ multiple times: The Solemn Declaration on Relationship.

It’s a recent one - created after Covid became a thing - and is to be used when a Danish resident has a foreign boyfriend/girlfriend who wants to come visit.

I guess ‘sweetheart’ was the closest thing they could think of to the Danish ‘kæreste'.

[j-peters0n]

Might end up writing some very gay fanfic for a mobile game.

[j-peters0n]

Redundant: see ‘redundant’

Being Danish, I live in the EU, which has a whole buncha rules and regulations about the handling, processing and protecting of personal information.

All of these rules fall under the umbrella called GDPR, and when there’s a breach of one kind or another, that breach has to be reported; usually to one of our highest authorities on the subject, which is something called Datatilsynet.

Recently, they had a breach, which means that we get to see this lovely headline that honestly reminds me of Monty Python:

(sauce)

Or in English: GDPR-breach: Datatilsynet reports Datatilsynet to Datatilsynet

On top of that, they didn’t report the breach to themselves soon enough.

Yikes.

[j-peters0n]

I'm trying out Project Zomboid because my gf loves it, and because I have literally no idea wtf I'm doing most of the time, she's watching me play over discord and helping my sorry ass out.

The game is also popular enough to have at least a partial, Danish translation.

So.

Me: *scrambling to even move because console gamer and WASD does not come easy* GF: Wait, What was that?! Me: *expecting doom to be around the corner* Wha? What was what? GF: Why are Viking coffee mugs called Tom Cruise? Me: *... record scratch* Why are the what called whatthehellnow?

She guides me back to a container I only halfway remember poking through because the whole point of PZ is that you die. Inevitably. A lot.

GF: See? Tom Cruise!

I genuinely love how she points out the numerous oddities in my native language - especially in how it can look to a non-native speaker.

Because the Danish term for an 'empty mug'?

Tom(t) krus.

[j-peters0n]

Not ‘actual footage’, but this is a pretty accurate representation of me and my gf.

She, bless her patient soul, would be the one in yellow.

[j-peters0n]

SCENE: PSYCHIATRIST’S OFFICE

PSYCHIATRIST: So. When you return this questionnarie, each answer is worth X number of points. A total of 65 points and under would be ‘neurotypical’, while anything over 100 would start to indicate autism. The highest scores I’ve personally seen tend to range from 160 to 180.

[looks down at paper, looks back up]

You scored well over 200.

It took more sessions after that of course - and I’m not done yet - but as it turns out, I have AD(H)D and ASD. Or, on the latter, Aspergers, since I’m not in the US. 

That explains a whole fucking lot, tbh. But I think I’ve done pretty well just finding my own ways to deal and adjust for the past 30-some-odd years.

(For the record, Blue in MiT is very heavily based on - but not a direct copy of - my own experience.)

[j-peters0n]

Nirav's it feels better biting down?

Hey I'm looking for a supercorp fic where Kara works for Michelin star and Lena thinks she's a spy. Help please

[j-peters0n]

I never claimed to not be a nerd, is all I’m saying.

(reddit post in question, imgur link)

[j-peters0n]

So here’s what happened

I’m aware that I don't owe anyone an explanation, but I've received - and keep receiving - comments and messages from people who hope that I'm okay, or want to thank me for somehow helping them through a tough time by way of my stories.

Thank you. I'm glad you care, and if I was able to make a difference when you needed it, I'm beyond humbled.

This is why I'm offering an explanation for my long on/off disappearance - though it's also going below a cut.

In 2017, my mom collapsed and was hospitalized with a massive brain stem hemorrhage. She wasn't even 60, and there was no advance warning of any kind. I'd seen her two days earlier, and she was fine.

And I'll thank any entity willing to listen, because her case is basically a miracle.

She survived. She's fully mobile again. She's herself. Hell, she's back at work, though that's on a permanent part-time basis since there is some damage that just isn't going to ever go away.

She's still here. She's still my mom. But while I'm okay, I'm also still processing because that was literally the worst day of my life. We're talking snot-crying on public transport, barely getting it together when arriving, and walking through the hospital in such a daze that the staff kept stopping me to ask if I was alright.

We're talking me basically crumpling into a sobbing mess (again) at mom's bedside, and months where I couldn't say goodbye to her without having to fight down panic for hours after. Shit, we're talking me getting emotional just writing this out.

But I am okay; just still processing. Mom, meanwhile, is under strict orders from me and my siblings to not pull a stunt like that again for at least another twenty years, and when she says she's not made of glass, she is told in no uncertain terms that not only is she made of glass, but of imported, hand-blown glass, so siddown, already.

This isn't a request for support of any kind, just FYI. We're Danish; medical bills and finances in general are a complete non-concern, and I've never been happier to pay my 47% income tax.

It's just an attempt at explaining why I kind of come and go, and will probably keep doing that. It's not everything that's happened, of course; I'm also juggling home renovations, a new job, recently losing who used to be my best friend by having the audacity to ask for 30 seconds of their time a week, and considering a referral to maybe figure out if it's ASD, ADHD, or something else.

But the stuff above? Yeah, that's the main reason.

[j-peters0n]

I love Excel.

I hate Excel, but I love it.

[j-peters0n]

come-forth-into-the-light replied to your post: What’s your favorite Elsanna fan fiction?

READ SNOWFLAKE BY J. PETERSON!!! IT’S ONE OF THE BEST STORIES I’VE READ—PERIOD—TO THE POINT I WISH I COULD KUDO IT TO INFINITY. READ AND ENJOY!!! archiveofourown.org/wor…

Ohhhh, thanks, Bee! I will! 

[j-peters0n]

Does anyone remember All That We Share from back in 2017?

Here’s the sequel - posted today.

[Edited because TV2 took the video down and re-posted with embedded subtitles for Danish speech parts]

[j-peters0n]

Honestly, the main reason I write any story is because I really want to read it and can't find it anywhere else.