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[j0b5]

Am I a simp? Of Course, I am... Any doubt, Anyone?

Recently somethings have happened in my life which leads me to write this blog post. I mean I know it isn't something that I should be posting over social media, but hey I am fool anyway 😅.

Simp should give the context in which this post is about. But I won't be able to give the full details about the incidents. That's due to obvious reasons, because I am embarrassed, I am ashamed.

But there is one thing for sure, the incident that began all this was due to my fault. My fault in not being in therapy like I should have been, Like I was suggested several times.

But post that when I was expecting to be supported when I was going through one of the worst phases of my life, I was cheated on and backstabbed. I was used and thrown aside like one does to a used napkin. Or is Tissue Papper? Call it whatever you may, but I guess you get the context. I think there is always 3 sides to a story. There's your side. There's their side and then there's the truth. And which story lies closer to the truth is truthful. In my case I may be exaggerating. Who knows?

The night which changed everything is something that I still can't forget. I still keep playing that night again and again. I am able to sleep thanks to pills. And no, it's not sleeping pills, since overdose is still a risk, unfortunately.

But the point is not this. The point is that I still am being used by someone. And even though I know this I still am playing to the tunes.

I was suggested by someone that the best thing you can do right now is to be the better person you can be. Work on yourself and show everyone the better you. But man, it's tough.

I have been trying to distract myself with work. I will keep on doing that. But that doesn't stop me from saying no to being used. I guess that's what I should learn.

[j0b5]

Mistake or Fault?

Now lately I have been not feeling better. And I am taking about my mental health. It seems that it’s worsening everyday. Maybe I am just exaggerating the whole scenario. Who knows. I am no saint after all 😅😅

Things have gone downhill so fast that I have no one else to blame. But apparently when I tried to fix it, it became so messed up even though I didn’t do anything.

I just hope what I am facing doesn’t happen to anyone. I won’t wish it to anyone else even my worst enemies. You know who you are, * nudge , nudge , wink , wink *

[j0b5]

To Kick or Not to Kick......

For context this post is all about today’s eliminator 1 game played in the Indian Super League between Kerala Blasters FC vs Bengaluru FC.

KBFC vs BFC is always played in an electric atmosphere. Whichever stage of the league or whichever stadium it is being played at. If you have your doubts look at what happened last time when KBFC visited BFC this season. I personally witnessed it. But every single time there is a sure shot winner involved - Football, the beautiful game.

But today I feel like it died, on the field, even before the final whistle was blown.  

So basically, a TLDR version of events.  KBFC and BFC were playing to see who goes to meet Mumbai City FC for the Semi Finals. Post 90 minutes and enough changes at both ends, the score remained 0 - 0. We end up at extra time as expected. a BFC player gets fouled at the edge of KBFC penalty area and they get awarded a free kick. All business as usual. But Chettri takes up the free kick which is the bone of contention here. We can clearly see no KBFC player was ready. We even don’t see the referee marking the 7-yard line. I didn't see him blowing his whistle. Chettri kick the ball and score. Shocking everyone. Following which our Aashan asks KBFC to walk off. BFC wins due to forfeit.

Here are my 2 paisa about it. The first and the foremost thing in any game is sportsman’s spirit. All 22 players on ground want to win but at what cost? 

BFC’s justification is that this was a quickly taken free kick and apparently KBFC were caught napping. In that case can anyone explain why as per the Law of the Game 2022-23 taken straight from AIFF website ( https://www.the-aiff.com/media/uploads/2022/09/Laws-of-the-Game-2022_23.pdf) on page 186 it states the following 

Apparently, that is taken form the section called Practical Guidelines for match officials. So, if a free kick that is to be taken just outside the opponent’s penalty box, doesn’t appropriate distance is required? Doesn’t the referee have to mark the distance where the wall can stand legally?

Apparently, the referee Hon. Crystal John hasn’t read it I guess or maybe he forgot it.

I won’t be lying when I say that I haven’t played football much. At least never professionally, that’s for sure.

Being a Fan of KBFC, it feels sad to lose anytime. However, losing in such a manner that too due to a “Legend” of Indian Football is disheartening.

I am also not a fan of our manager dealt with the situation. He should have let the game play on. Let BFC win and then go out of this season with the head held high. We are KBFC, we fight., till the end. Let BFC win on a so called quickly taken “freekick”.

Whatever it is, Indian Football will never be the same again. Something will change. Let’s see if it's for the better or for the worse.

At the end of the day, I lost all my respect for Mr. Chettri. I am no longer going to support or cheer for you ever even when you wear our national jersey. I will support the national team though. In case you are wondering, a small reminder Chettri is not Indian National Team and Indian National Team is not Chettri. I am also disappointed with Ivan. But I will still support him. I will still support KBFC. Can’t wait for West Block Blues to come to Kochi. BEWARE 

Yours Crazy

J0B5

🖖

[j0b5]

To Marry or Not to Marry???

So it is said that in life there are only 2 certain things : Death and Taxes. Being an Indian , I guess there’s another : Marriage.

This thought couldn’t come at a good time too. I am about to turn 31 which means that I am way past the expiration date . 

I can’t think of the day when I decided to not get married. I am also not sure of the reason why. To people who keep on asking these questions , fortunately I have some reasons made up. That I am not a great guy to I don’t think I will make a good husband , father or grandfather. 😋😋

But are they really the reason behind it? Who knows.

I still can’t understand why I don’t want to marry. Maybe I have an phobia of commitment. Or maybe my “Borderline Personality Disorder” is causing it. Who knows.

Your Truly 

J0B5 

🖖

[j0b5]

A Piece of my Mind

Borderline Personality Disorder.... These 3 words are used by therapist and psychiatrist to describe my issues. But sometimes I don’t think so....

For me at times these 3 little words are words that I sometimes use to hide my laziness , my inefficiency , my unworthiness. 

Sometimes I wonder if medicines are helping or will ever help me get well. Sometimes I wonder if the effort is even worth it.

Sometimes I feel like ending it all. But why is it so difficult.

I always thought waving the white flag was the one thing I excelled at. Maybe I wasn’t even good at that. 

Why does some people have no difficulty in doing simple stuff. But for me that same things are difficult.

Yours Crazy

J0B5

🖖

[j0b5]

End Game

Well I guess the title says it all. Saw Avengers: Endgame on first day and man words can't simply describe the feelings.

Full disclosure, I am a huge Marvel fan ( who hasn't read the comics though, now that's for another post). I know it might sound crazy, but I actually did take a day off from work for this. Not only that, before leaving for the theatre, I saw Infinity War again and a short summary video on YouTube. Yeah crazy, isn't it.

Now digressing to the movie, it was simply amazing. Hats off to the team as their hard work clearly shows. Not only does it manages to keep us on the edge of our seats. It also successfully makes us laugh and feel weepy ( Well I had the urge to cry even though I managed to keep it all in) as well with ease.

The final battle was pure cinematic genius from my humble opinion. Even though you know that Team Good will triumph, it's the how that managed to keep us focused on the screen. Well that and the reaction from fellow movie goers.

Well now can't wait for Spider-Man : Far Away From Home to mark the conclusion of MCU : Phase 3

[j0b5]

TeckGrokite : The Origin Story

I have always wanted to write what I felt about technology. But there was always something, stopping me.

Finally I decided, f*&k it let's do it.

That's how TechGrokite began. To put into perspective , grok means understand (something) intuitively or by empathy. I want this blog to help other in understanding more about technology .

Not only will there be how to and DIY stuff but my general rambling on a particular topic as well.

Hope you enjoy it as much as I will enjoy writing.

So until next time.

J0B5