j0nerino - Tumblr blog

[j0nerino]

damn while he always got to be sad and crying ??! like just be happy idk xD

[j0nerino]

damn while he always got to be sad and crying ??! like just be happy idk xD

[j0nerino]

Okay I'm gonna attempt to make a post that explains what postal is without being too long winded. it's gonna be kinda long no matter what so i'm not gonna give a ton of details but here we go. Sorry if I miss anything.

We got a few different games to talk about here, but one thing to keep in mind going into this is that Postal's story is very disjointed and it has a lot of gaps. But this isn't an RPG, its an FPS, so you get over it.

Games I'm gonna talk about are Postal 1,2,3 & 4. There are other games I'll give honorable mention, but those up there are the important ones.

Starting off with Postal (1997). Here's some screenies:

This is the very first game in the series. There is only one goal gameplay wise and that is to wipe out the hostiles (police & military) on each map to proceed to the next. Along the bottom you can see Dude's arsenal, you pick up weapons as you progress ranging from the M16 you start with to rocket launchers and napalm launchers.

Postal 1 does have a little bit of story for us and it is told through the Dude's journal entries that decorate the loading screens. Unfortunately he's not making a lot of sense.

The real lore to be found about this game used to be in the manual. The diary entries for each level are a lot different there.

There are 17 levels in the first Postal and they all have their own entries that kinda let us in on Dude's state of mind, and what you find out is he's off his fuckin' rocker.

Last but not least, here are the only official images we have of this man:

Postal 2 (2003) is next up. Screenies:

So in this game you're a crackhead. Somewhere between Postal and Postal 2, the Dude got hooked on hard drugs. And he lives in a trailer now instead of a house. And he's married to a woman he hates as much as she hates him. And somehow... He is still living in Paradise, Arizona despite how he shot up the place a few years ago.

The tone of this game is a LOT different than the first. It's one big joke with outdated references that at no point takes itself seriously. The goal is to complete a list of tasks every single day for a week while everyone in Paradise tries to stop you from doing that. You collect weapons as you progress just like before, but there are a lot more of them and many MANY secret places to find. Postal rewards curiosity, they want you to explore the map. You can also pacifist this game and kill no one. Up to you.

Here is the Postal 2 Dude:

Movin on to Postal 3 (2011). Screenies:

This is Running With Scissors' outsourced baby and least favorite of them all... to the point that they've disowned it. Sort of. A few updates have been released recently and fans really like this version of the Dude so it's worth talking about. I'm not going to give my opinion, but going into this game it's good to know that it's barely in working condition and it bluescreened my computer one time.

The main objective in Postal 3 is to make enough money to buy gas to leave Catharsis. We aren't in Paradise anymore, but the people in this new town are just as bad and the tone of the game remains ridiculous, just like in Postal 2. Dude takes odd jobs one after another and not a single one of them gets him any money. He also goes to prison in this one. Oh, and there's a karma system that doesn't work properly. You aren't rewarded for exploring, but you do get more weapons as the game goes on.

Mr. Postal 3 Himself:

Finally, Postal 4 (2022). Screenies:

This game is the latest release. We're in another new town and this one is named Edensin. Back to the "surviving a week of chores" gameplay as well, but this time the Dude is homeless. His trailer gets stolen and he as to try and find work while hunting down whoever stole his home. Plenty of weapons to be found including new ones. You are absolutely rewarded for exploring every nook and cranny you can find in this game, there are also collectables now and you can dress up the Dude!

This game also has some really really cool references to all of the past ones. Very fun.

Postal 4 Dude:

The Others

There are a handful of Postal games outside the main 4.

Apocalypse Weekend is the DLC for Postal 2 that takes place directly after the main game. The apocalypse is here and Dude has to survive it.

Paradise Lost makes you wonder if Postal 3 ever even happened. P3 Dude lives inside P2 Dude's head in this one gotta love it.

Postal Redux is a modern rework of the first game. Looks a bit different, has new voice lines and new levels, but adds nothing to the story.

Postal Brain Damaged is a spinoff boomer shooter that takes us through a dream sequence. Kill everything with really cool weapons is the goal.

Corkscrew Rules is a russian fan made mod for Postal 2. Dude loses his dick and has to get it back or something. He's also a pornstar lol

Poostal Royale is an april fools joke game. I think the only goal is to see how long you can last against braindead npcs.

[j0nerino]

outing myself with this as not only a portal fan but also a toxic codependent yuri enjoyer

[j0nerino]

outing myself with this as not only a portal fan but also a toxic codependent yuri enjoyer

[j0nerino]

[j0nerino]

[j0nerino]

[j0nerino]

this villager just moved onto my island in animal crossing and started pissing everywhere ?! what’s going on ??!

[j0nerino]

this villager just moved onto my island in animal crossing and started pissing everywhere ?! what’s going on ??!

[j0nerino]

love using postal loading screens as background

[j0nerino]

love using postal loading screens as background

[j0nerino]

The Dudest Dude around

POSTAL 4: NO REGERTS (2022)

[j0nerino]

[j0nerino]

time to partay with napalm !!!

[j0nerino]

POSTAL Redux loading screens

[j0nerino]

Every once in awhile I'll remember Running With Scissors responding to a transphobic gimmick account on Twitter and my day will instantly get ten times better