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"im gonna kill myself" [remembers that suicide jokes scare my loved ones] "and im taking you with me!"

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tough fucking luck losing my cart and my pack of camels in the same 48 hour period i suspect that it may have been ghouls

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Trying to sell handmade crafts in this economy is so. Like. Hey guys I know we're all broke as fuck but do you want my silly little things. I'm very good at it. For the time it takes to make them + skill + materials it's gonna be 30$ per silly little thing. But also shipping costs 12$ for reasons outside my control so it's actually 42$ now. Sorry. No I really can't charge less than that. Yeah I know. Ok. Bye

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Dracula..

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chillin at the ambient red lighting and horse store.

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hey man. i didn't see you at the ambient red lighting and horse store. you ok man?

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*in a masc way* hiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

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uh hey that person you just reblogged from used to be in our discord server but we had to kick them out because they admitted to watching t*m and j*rry... that show features violence and as such glorifies it.... when we confronted them all they said was "wtf its a show about a cat and a mouse"... if you dont believe me theres a whole callout post that features their name age and street address so you can go to their house and check... anyways you should unfollow them before people start thinking you like problematic media too :/ just trying to help

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do you think truckers realize that theyre dentists of highways

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Im craving... $000,000

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can you take my white ass to funkytown

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A guy in an entomology group I'm in got a confirmed brown recluse bite because he felt something tickle his neck and brushed it off, accidentally mashing the spider against his skin. This is how almost all recluse bites happen since they're very very unaggressive. Anyway the bite was just a small nasty spot that cleared up on its own, but his hands and feet swelled up really bad. Then when the swelling went back down, all his calluses were loose and just fell right off leaving his hands and feet like brand new???????????

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to this day possibly one of my best ideas. someone get me a pitch meeting with the hallmark channel