jackattack20writes

[jackattack20writes]

[jackattack20writes]

my dream as a fanfic writer is for one day, one of my fics to be someones comfort fic. like the fic that they reread when they don't feel good and want to be happy. i want my words to comfort someone one day

[jackattack20writes]

NOTICE: As more and more fanfic writers are using generative AI for their works (you uncreative dweebs), I hereby swear on everything I hold dear that I have not and will NEVER use generative AI in ANY of my written work. Everything I post will be organically and creatively my own.

[jackattack20writes]

kirakira

[jackattack20writes]

This is probably my hottest gquuuuuux take but I don’t actually think Machu’s as rich as people are thinking like she’s not poor but she’s not what people would consider rich either. Now until five minutes ago I was thinking that she’d at least be upper middle class if not just upper class, but I just had the realisation that her phone is still broken in ep 6 and I just double checked to be sure and yeah Machu’s still using the phone with the broken screen. And this is a big thing because it adds another layer to Machu’s layers of insecurity while also bringing her closer socially to Shuji and Nyaan and explains some of the more anachronistic aspects of her character when you consider her as a “rich girl” which I actually talked about in another post where I went into what impact her schooling may’ve had.

I think this is actually a massive thing because it does explain a lot of the stuff around Machu, her mum and what little we got about her absent dad in this weeks ep. So firstly I can’t talk for certain about what sort of culture Japan has around private schools because I’m not Japanese but I do know that round where I live it’s not uncommon for families to prioritise the fees of a private school over almost everything else with it being one of the largest costs they’ll have in a year and sacrificing in a lot of areas to afford the luxury. The possibility of this being Machu’s situation is one which I think can both explain the absence of Machu’s dad and at least in part the emphasis her mother has on school. To begin with we know that Machu’s mother is a public servant with some level of responsibility, she seems to be in charge of part of the audit division but she’s not high up enough to not have the responsibility of checking over her subordinates work. So she’d be decent pay but nothing extravagant, especially not the sort of money that would afford a high school that’s prestigious enough Xavier knows about it. So that implies that Machu’s father is gone working wherever he is, and working somewhere that communication seems to not be easy so I’d assume outside of the colony, as well as not something overly prestigious that would put him in a position to communicate frequently. (Also I must highlight that a lot of this is inferred and guesses based basically off only Xavier’s comments about Machu’s school the fact Machu still has a broken screen on her phone weeks if not months later and the absence of Machu’s father.)

Now this is all relevant to the broken screen because it shows that both outside of the clanbat reward money she’s putting toward the earth trip/shuttle Machu doesn’t have access to a lot of money, not even enough to repair her phone screen and she’s unwilling to talk to her mother about getting it fixed. Showing that she has an awareness about their financial situation. This is important because it adds to Machu’s clear feelings of inadequacy as if she’s aware of the financial strain her schooling puts her family under with how she reacts to everything else it’s clear that that would be another stress point for her and making her feel useless. This sort of thing also explains why unlike her classmates Machu isn’t shown to be friends with the other girls at the school, we see them admiring her and trying to be friendly with her multiple times but she just brushes them off, something that makes sense if she knows that she’s in a different world to them, if they don’t have their family making sacrifices to get them schooled there. Also it’s shown at least a little with how her classmates got so excited about the gambling site in ep 4 while Machu’s just boggling at the idea of that much money (which is almost enough for one of the ships Shuji was looking at), but for them it’s just spending money for an afternoon with friends but for Machu it’s mindboggling large that she doesn’t even know what to spend it on, at least until Shuji’s

This is also another reason why her parents would be so on her ass about school, if they’re sacrificing to make sure Machu can attend with her mother constantly working long hours and her dad possibly leaving them to work outside the colony it makes sense from their pov why Machu’s seeming disregard for school is such a massive issue. It also explains why Machu’s almost sad when she talks about stuff like the careers goals, almost like she wishes she could put something else but she’s unwilling to lie about what she wants.

Like it’s been staring me in the face and I only just realised it, like it gives more detail to why Machu’s clashing with her mum as it’s a common belief with parents that send their kids to private schools that it’s the best thing they could possibly do and the kids just don’t understand that. So of course it’s entirely unreasonable for Machu to try and fluff around instead of keeping her head down and studying properly like she should be, and of course the absent father would have even more issues because he’s sacrificing time with his family so they can afford it. And of course this feeds even more into Machu’s struggles with her identity and value as a person because her parents not only have an ideal she’s not reaching, they’re spending beyond their means to try and get her to reach it and she just can’t because it’s not who she is. Giving her a very concrete example of her relationship with people worsening because she isn’t performing her role, something that is reflected in her ep 5 freakout about the Kira Kira. Except that time it’s not her personal failings as the issue, it’s her friend “taking” her role away from her and with it her arguably strongest connections at the moment.

[jackattack20writes]

Yeah no definitely, I don’t think the idea that Machu’s mum only went as away to further their argument from earlier episodes isn’t unfounded. And going by how she talks to the teacher she was probably hoping that the two of them going at Machu would have more of an impact and or she needed to show that it wasn’t her influence making Machu like that. It fits in with the idea of the school being for debutantes that got revealed last week.

So I’m not saying that a lot of people watching gquuuuuux are dumb but a lot of people are obsessed with the idea of Machu just being a “spoiled pampered” teenager and either don’t know how easy it is or underestimate how easy it is to fuck up a kid. Like after ep 6 we’re hitting a point where the show is blatantly flashing neon signs that Machu doesn’t know how to connect with people on a basis outside of being useful to them. Like beyond what we’ve seen in the first five eps this ep, she sees Nyaan giving Shuji food, a thing that we’ve seen either Machu or both of them do together and she runs off feeling abandoned.

Then we see that it’s clear she’s struggling to figure out how to apologise to Nyaan for how she reacted at the end of ep five but doesn’t figure out how to bridge that gap until she overhears the Pomeranians planning to betray him and tries to come up with a plan with Haro. The point at which she has something to offer she is then able to reach out again, like it’s not really being subtle about it but people are doing that thing shippers always get accused of and focusing on this one thing, in this case a character trait they think solves Machu’s character when it doesn’t even scratch the surface of it.

Similarly there’s people saying she’s just an asshole because she doesn’t care about her friends on a deeper level or how Nyaan’s actually the better friend, and like that’s the point. Machu doesn’t know how to connect on an emotional level because she’s been raised to be married off for political gain and her mother’s main interaction with her when she’s actually present and not busy working is harassing her about school. Not to mention that it’s now confirmed the dad’s still in the picture somehow just even less present than the mum is and even more focused on her schooling.

Also even past that, Machu’s clearly got self image issues about what she offers as a person, something that makes people unwilling to open up so of course she’s not going to get to know them on as deep a level because she’s scared of opening herself up because she thinks it risks them leaving her because they’d see whatever Machu thinks she’s lacking in.

[jackattack20writes]

Also like in the school meeting Machu clearly isn’t actually expecting her mother to show up even though she literally just promised to, there is genuine shock when her mother shows up even though she’s also late. The show is putting a lot of time into showing that just because a parent cares about you doesn’t mean they’re doing a good job raising you. Like yes there is benefits to at least having compared to living alone like Nyaan and Shuji but the shows still showing it’s a double edged sword and I wouldn’t be surprised if the dad ever shows up that the marriage is strained in a way similar to Kamille’s parents in zeta to further drive it home.

So I’m not saying that a lot of people watching gquuuuuux are dumb but a lot of people are obsessed with the idea of Machu just being a “spoiled pampered” teenager and either don’t know how easy it is or underestimate how easy it is to fuck up a kid. Like after ep 6 we’re hitting a point where the show is blatantly flashing neon signs that Machu doesn’t know how to connect with people on a basis outside of being useful to them. Like beyond what we’ve seen in the first five eps this ep, she sees Nyaan giving Shuji food, a thing that we’ve seen either Machu or both of them do together and she runs off feeling abandoned.

Then we see that it’s clear she’s struggling to figure out how to apologise to Nyaan for how she reacted at the end of ep five but doesn’t figure out how to bridge that gap until she overhears the Pomeranians planning to betray him and tries to come up with a plan with Haro. The point at which she has something to offer she is then able to reach out again, like it’s not really being subtle about it but people are doing that thing shippers always get accused of and focusing on this one thing, in this case a character trait they think solves Machu’s character when it doesn’t even scratch the surface of it.

Similarly there’s people saying she’s just an asshole because she doesn’t care about her friends on a deeper level or how Nyaan’s actually the better friend, and like that’s the point. Machu doesn’t know how to connect on an emotional level because she’s been raised to be married off for political gain and her mother’s main interaction with her when she’s actually present and not busy working is harassing her about school. Not to mention that it’s now confirmed the dad’s still in the picture somehow just even less present than the mum is and even more focused on her schooling.

Also even past that, Machu’s clearly got self image issues about what she offers as a person, something that makes people unwilling to open up so of course she’s not going to get to know them on as deep a level because she’s scared of opening herself up because she thinks it risks them leaving her because they’d see whatever Machu thinks she’s lacking in.

[jackattack20writes]

So I’m not saying that a lot of people watching gquuuuuux are dumb but a lot of people are obsessed with the idea of Machu just being a “spoiled pampered” teenager and either don’t know how easy it is or underestimate how easy it is to fuck up a kid. Like after ep 6 we’re hitting a point where the show is blatantly flashing neon signs that Machu doesn’t know how to connect with people on a basis outside of being useful to them. Like beyond what we’ve seen in the first five eps this ep, she sees Nyaan giving Shuji food, a thing that we’ve seen either Machu or both of them do together and she runs off feeling abandoned.

Then we see that it’s clear she’s struggling to figure out how to apologise to Nyaan for how she reacted at the end of ep five but doesn’t figure out how to bridge that gap until she overhears the Pomeranians planning to betray him and tries to come up with a plan with Haro. The point at which she has something to offer she is then able to reach out again, like it’s not really being subtle about it but people are doing that thing shippers always get accused of and focusing on this one thing, in this case a character trait they think solves Machu’s character when it doesn’t even scratch the surface of it.

Similarly there’s people saying she’s just an asshole because she doesn’t care about her friends on a deeper level or how Nyaan’s actually the better friend, and like that’s the point. Machu doesn’t know how to connect on an emotional level because she’s been raised to be married off for political gain and her mother’s main interaction with her when she’s actually present and not busy working is harassing her about school. Not to mention that it’s now confirmed the dad’s still in the picture somehow just even less present than the mum is and even more focused on her schooling.

Also even past that, Machu’s clearly got self image issues about what she offers as a person, something that makes people unwilling to open up so of course she’s not going to get to know them on as deep a level because she’s scared of opening herself up because she thinks it risks them leaving her because they’d see whatever Machu thinks she’s lacking in.

[jackattack20writes]

Another plus of this weeks gquuuuuux is the steady filling out of the Nyaan Shuji side of the NyaChuJi. Like that half was lacking in the first four episodes but the steady growth has meant the last two weeks are reaffirming my faith in the poly ending

[jackattack20writes]

I’m really glad this weeks ep of Gquuuuuux was literally just half an hour of validating my read on Machu and the whole Kira Kira mess from last week. Truly a great experience, i can’t wait till next week.

[jackattack20writes]

Also I haven’t posted about it but I do love just how blatantly bisexual Machu is. Like it’s great I love it.

[jackattack20writes]

So having taken a bit to think about more I think that Machu’s school being revealed to be for Zeon debutantes is a big one especially considering this is the episode where Machu’s issues are fully revealing themselves. So we don’t know specifically what being a debutante in Gqux means but based off how Xavier reacts and then Machu reaction to the reaction it’s not too far off the colloquial meaning and so these girls are raised to be married off into transactional relationships as “prized brides” adding to the idea that Machu’s experience of relationships is mostly if not all are ones transactional in nature (this could become even more emphasised if Machu’s father ever appears)

The introduction of Machu’s school being as high class as it is also shows that Machu isn’t as oblivious to the societal issues that affect Shuji and Nyaan as I see a lot of people assuming she is. This is because the assumption or stereotype of someone who is in Machu’s societal position is very different to the attitudes we’ve seen from Machu since ep1, before the implications of her growing closer to people directly suffering. The most prominent of these is Mahcu’s consistently been shown to have an issue with authority especially when it is being utilised to oppress people, the first time we see her use a mobile suit is to attack the police and stop them from destroying the slums and her first actual talk with Nyaan is because rather than doing what would be assumed of someone in her position and reporting that a criminal being chased by the cops had a dangerous weapon or even handing it into the police she hunts her down to see what she was doing with it. And then upon finding out why she needs it she helps her without question. Those aren’t the acts of someone oblivious to the plight of people like Nyaan, “the selfish” motivation Machu has doesn’t even appear until after she’d already show, how willing she was to help people and go against the people in power just because people were getting hurt.

A different example of her attitude being more to support this read is when Shuji, Nyaan and Machu are talking about about Kira Kira in ep5 Machu is telling Nyaan how beautiful it is and about their plans to go to earth, there is a level of implication that she’s including Nyaan in those plans. (Which I admit could be seen as support for Machu wanting to control her friends and how they interface with Nyaan only being allowed access when Machu wills it) but Machu makes a face of discomfort when Nyaan suggests that Shuji wants someone else to show off to, introducing the possibility of Machu not being good enough, exacerbating the fears she already had from ep4. This then of course sets off the chain of insecurity throughout the rest of the episode. This read I think is also supported because Machu didn’t have an issue with Shiiko’s appearance in the Kira Kira in ep 4, in fact as far as the ep shows Machu doesn’t even know that Nyaan did experience the Kira Kira outside of seeing that she was piloting the Gundam.

Which I think is even more evidence that the Kira Kira to Machu represents more her relationship with Shuji and the Gundam than just the actual newtype connection space. Also like her horror at Nyaan being the one piloting at the end, like that is a face of betrayal. Not just jealousy or fear at a loss of control the face Machu makes is a primal fear of someone she cared about actively trying to take something from her and that makes more sense when looked at through the lense of Machu not experiencing relationships that aren’t transactional in nature.

(Also even if you want to argue that it is a control thing and Machu doesn’t like Nyaan intruding where Machu doesn’t want her and experiencing what the Kira Kira is more generally representing in the series I’d still argue that is still stemming from all the same issues about relationships. That if Machu feels she was superior in some way she’s scared of Nyaan experiencing the Kira Kira she’d self-actualise in a way that means she grows past a need or want of Machu in her life.)

Tldr: again just to hammer it home with a different set of reasons, Machu’s issues around the Nyaan piloting and the Kira Kira are based on a fear of losing the relationships she’s built because she’s been raised not understanding non transactional relationships and not that she has some rich girl control issues and obliviousness to how her friends struggle and are less privileged than she is.

I’m having some thoughts about how Machu’s school and attitude towards certain things support the Machu isn’t “spoiled” but sees relationships as transactional exchanges of utility for affection but I haven’t quite figured out how to phrase it quite yet

[jackattack20writes]

Thanks for the tag @ariadnekurosaki!

Favourite colour: A darker red, but like not quite dark dark, like sort of in between crimson and dark red.

Currently Reading: I've finally gotten around to giving Brandon Sanderson's first Mistborn a crack, it's my first time reading one of his books but it's not really grabbing me, so I might not finish it.

Last Song: That would be I don't care by Hochimachi Suisei, the ED for Gundam Gquuuuuux

Last Movie: The last new movie I watched, I think, might've actually been Gquuuuuux The Beginning, which is technically three episodes of a TV show stitched together. Other than that, I think it's a rewatch of A New Hope the other day

Last Series: currently I'm keeping up with the weekly releases of Gundam Gquuuuuux (which has taken up every bit of real estate in my brain at the moment) and Apothecary Diaries, but I also just started a sitcom with Derek Jacobi and Ian Mckellan playing an elderly gay couple called Vicious which has been pretty good.

Sweet, Salty, or Savoury: This is very dependent on my mood, but it's probably more often sweets.

Craving: A fried chicken burger.

Tea or Coffee: neither, I'm not a hot drinks guy.

Currently working on: aw jeeze, so all my multichapter fics have updates in various levels of written plus a few other RWBY and IchiRuki wips, but my most active projects currently are one fic for IchiRuki week and an IzuKami oneshot that's taken up camp in my brain almost as badly as Gquuuuuux has.

Tagging anyone who wants to do this, I guess, I never know who to put here when I do these.

Nine People (or so) I'd like to know better

tagged by the glorious @cillmequick 😘

Fav colour:

green

Currently reading:

I'm way behind on my reading 🫣 don't ask! I've just downloaded The Heart Goes Last by Margaret Atwood. When I'll read it, is anyone's guess 😬

Last song:

My little girlies are currently singing APT. to me for the eleventy-billionth time.

Last movie:

The Martian

Last series:

I'm watching Daredevil and Severance atm, and they're both EXCELLENT.

Sweet, savoury or salty:

Sweet 😋

Craving:

My favourite pasta dish from my favourite Italian. Luckily, I'm going later! 🍝

Tea or coffee:

I'm a teapot usually, but I do like a coffee.

Currently working on:

Sooo much! I have WIPs coming out of my ears! I'm very much in a Bucky fix right now, which I can only guess will get bigger in the run-up to ⚡️Thunderbolts⚡️

We have:

Chapter 2 of For Your Consideration coming asap

Backseat Driver- a new Bucky fic hopefully coming by Monday!

Some old Valentine's fics for River

Slow Horses Big Bang

I think those are it for now...

no pressure tags: @hart-kinsella @a-sunflower-in-bloom @linkpk88 @onceuponaoneshot @mrs-elsie-barnes @marvelstoriesepic

[jackattack20writes]

I’m having some thoughts about how Machu’s school and attitude towards certain things support the Machu isn’t “spoiled” but sees relationships as transactional exchanges of utility for affection but I haven’t quite figured out how to phrase it quite yet

[jackattack20writes]

Oh yeah also Amuro is definitely behind the Gquuuuuuux and Haro because this ep proved definitively that Haro activates the omega pyscommu

[jackattack20writes]

Also these gqux brainworms are very annoying. Cause like they aren’t to write something gqux like my brainworms normally are it’s just don’t write anything else just focus on the ever decreasing distance to the next gqux episode

[jackattack20writes]

Yesterday’s ep of gqux is interesting because I think I have a totally different read on Machu in it than most of what I’ve seen. Like I think it’s a gross oversimplification to label Machu spoiled or pampered and now being forced to grow up, like there’s some elements of that but I don’t think her not being “special” is the core issue, it’s her replaceability.

From what we’ve seen there’s been two major issues on Machu’s mind since last week’s ep, Shuji’s nonchalance killing and Machu feeling the need to catch up to him.

And these come to a head with Nyaan’s ability to not only pilot the gqux but also as far as I can tell kill the black stars. And this is after Nyaan showing off her forwardness in stripping that Machu copied.

Machu feels like she’s falling behind her friends/losing her usefulness, and based off how we see Machu and her mother interact that’s how Machu’s been conditioned to expect a relationship to work. She proves her usefulness to the other person and receives affection, it’s why she thought it was actually more important that she change to be more like Shuji last ep rather than focusing on how messed up it was he didn’t react. So now that everyone knows that Nyaan can pilot the gqux and sees Kira Kira and is willing to kill, Machu jumps straight to they don’t need her anymore.

That’s why “the Kira Kira was for me and Shuji” is what she says and focuses on, it’s the link she has to what are the only people she interacts with positively outside of her mother.

It’s not a pampered teenager complaining about not being special it’s a teenager scared of losing a connection they only just found to people she has quickly grown to care about. Which is why I think in the preview Nyaan’s so confused about why she’s upset, Nyaan, from what I can see wasn’t raised for that necessity of usefulness, otherwise she wouldn’t still be hanging around after the first clan bat.

Also I think a good indicator of this being the issue is Machu’s surprise at Haro coming back to her at the end. In her mind, Haro either shouldn’t care which of them is piloting since they’re both at least effective, or prefer Nyaan, but Haro comes out looking for Machu and runs straight to her, which I don’t think Is how Machu would’ve reacted if this was about her not feeling “special” or “unique” anymore.

And this sort of theme is much more in line with what the show's been looking at with the various veterans losing people they care about, with this same episode even having a trio that lost their third.

tldr. Machu’s scared of being thrown away by her friends since she’s not the only one who can pilot the gqux anymore, it’s not “spoiled child discovers she’s not a special snowflake”