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[jackheathwriter]

And the tea! Can't forget the tea

The thing people don’t realize about writing is that time spent just staring out the window is CRITICAL

[jackheathwriter]

There's a scene in Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade where Indi (Harrison Ford) and his father (Sean Connery) are tied to chairs, having been captured by Nazis after Indi's girlfriend betrayed them.

Indi quietly asks his father, "How did you know she was a Nazi?"

His father replies, "She talks in her sleep."

Indi does a double-take.

When I first saw that movie I was about 8, sitting cross-legged on the carpet in my parents' house, way too close to their CRT television. I thought, "Nazis talk in their sleep? What an interesting piece of trivia."

I watched that movie a lot of times over the next few years. When I was about 12, and old enough to realise the idea that Nazis talk in their sleep was absurd, I interpreted the double-take differently. I thought, "Ohhh. Indi has suddenly realised his father has lost his marbles."

It's been more than 20 years since I've seen that movie, but having watched it over and over back when my brain was still spongy and malleable, I don't need to see it again. I can watch a highlight reel in my head whenever I feel like it (although while fact-checking this piece I noticed that Ford and Connery weren't tied to chairs, as I remembered). This scene popped into my head recently, and I finally, finally, understood why Indi was so startled.

It made me laugh.

I'm sharing this story because I've been thinking about how many metrics are involved in the consumption of art these days. When Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade came out, there weren't many ways of measuring its success - just the number of dollars it earned at the box office, the quality of the reviews in the newspapers, and the number of Oscars it was eventually nominated for (3, winning 1). If it were made now, the distributor could track not only how many people watched it, but at exactly what point viewers were most likely to stop watching, which scenes got paused and replayed, and how likely viewers were to tell their friends about it on social media. All this extra data seems like it should help filmmakers tell better stories.

But how do you track which jokes will make people laugh, when they're thinking about it 20 years later?

You don't, I guess. Algorithms can track your behaviour, but they can't actually spy on your thoughts (yet). So, creators optimise for the data they do have. This creates an incentive to tell stories which keep people watching, listening and sharing, but which are quickly forgotten. Engaging, but evaporative. I'm sure there are many reasons for the effervescence of contemporary film and television (the sheer amount of content, pressure to compete with social media, the fact that 45% of us are watching our phones and our TVs at the same time) but this is definitely one piece of the puzzle.

I don't have Spielberg's genius, but I am lucky enough to be working in a medium that isn't quite so quantifiable (although that is changing). This means I'm free to tell the stories I think readers will remember for years to come, even if I have no way of telling whether my instincts are right.

 Speaking of which...

In 2014 I wrote a book called Scream: The Human Flytrap.

It was translated into French, adapted for audio, and spawned three sequels. And now, ten years on, it's about to be re-published.

Warning: the book was intended for kids and teens, but when I asked my publisher how scary I could make it, her response boiled down to "as scary as you want, so long as there's no sex or drugs in it." I took her at her word, and wrote a book which gave nightmares to a generation of kids, who are now deeply traumatised adults.

Preorder it from your local bookshop or below - if you dare.

[jackheathwriter]

The devil works hard but fanfiction authors working with absolutely garbage characterization work harder

[jackheathwriter]

After thwarting a robbery, Nolan Hawker is invited to the world’s most dangerous school. At The Peak, he learns to crack codes, fly planes and deceive enemies so he can someday infiltrate the deadly anarchist group known as Swarm. But someone at the Peak secretly works for Swarm, and they have a plan—the kind no one walks away from. Can Nolan find the traitor before it’s too late?

jackheathwriter.com/spy

[jackheathwriter]

After thwarting a robbery, Nolan Hawker is invited to The Peak, where he learns to crack codes, fly planes and deceive enemies. But someone at the Peak secretly works for a deadly anarchist group known as Swarm―can Nolan find the traitor before it’s too late?

[jackheathwriter]

If the book makes the list, I’ll write a song about the subtle art of husband-murder and perform it outside my local Woolworths. What rhymes with “potassium cyanide”? Vote: https://www.dymocks.com.au/voting/top-101-voting (Music by QubeSounds from Pixabay)

[jackheathwriter]

When I was writing Kill Your Husbands, I had a structural problem: basically, the first murder couldn't happen until halfway through. When I was wondering how to keep the reader entertained for the first 200 pages, I remembered one of my favourite novels, I Give My Marriage A Year by Holly Wainwright, which kept me totally absorbed despite having no murders at all. (Crazy, right?) So I rewrote the first half, digging deep into the three collapsing marriages at the heart of the story. In the end, I enjoyed that more than the slashery second half. #writing https://www.livingartscanberra.com.au/jack-heath-kill-your-husbands/

[jackheathwriter]

Read the rest at jackheathwriter.com/news

[jackheathwriter]

To be honest, this wrapping paper will either spoil the surprise (if the recipient has seen the book) disturb them (if they haven't) or disappoint them (if you're giving them something else). Still, you can download it from jackheathwriter.com/news

[jackheathwriter]

It's the feel-bad romantic comedy of the year! 😂 #audiobooks

[jackheathwriter]

NUMBER 4!!! This is incredible. Do you think (dare I even ask the question) it might make it to number 1??? 🤞

[jackheathwriter]

My lovers-to-enemies romance has reached number 6 on the charts! My readers RULE!!! Thank you so much - I'm dancing with excitement 🕺🥳 🍾 #crimefiction

[jackheathwriter]

Still climbing the charts! Last week it was 43, now it's 8! #crimefiction

[jackheathwriter]

Fah-lah-lah-lah-lah, la-stab-stab-stab (Seriously, this would be the perfect Xmas gift for your sister-in-law)

[jackheathwriter]

Out TODAY! 🎉 Thanks to all the incredible people at Allen & Unwin, Audible, and Curtis Brown Australia. In a world where ChatGPT exists, human writers need to focus on quality over quantity, take creative risks, and write from their own experience rather than regurgitating things which have been done before. But I would never have had the guts to write something so deeply personal if I wasn't dead certain that these three fantastic teams would have my back every step of the way, turning this story into the most enthralling version of itself. Thanks also to all the wonderful authors who provided quotes, and most of all to my wife for encouraging me (egging me on, in fact). Find at your favourite bookshop in Australia/New Zealand, in the Audible app, or online at jackheathwriter.com/books . And if you're in Melbourne, Sydney or Canberra, grab a slice of wedding cake at one of the launches: jackheathwriter.com/events . If you have thoughts about the book, I'd love to hear them--tag me in your posts!

[jackheathwriter]

#killyourhusbands, out next week

[jackheathwriter]

Honestly, it was SO EASY to Google this. The information is literally at our fingertips. Why does no-one check anything before they share it?