jacklivingston-angel - Tumblr blog

[jacklivingston-angel]

Nothing bad can come from positive thinking.

I guess I’ll try and think like that…

[jacklivingston-angel]

I know. I just keep trying to stay positive. There's got to be a light at the end of this tunnel.

Well, I never thought of it that way actually. Just, with everything that is going on, can’t help but think so negative. 

[jacklivingston-angel]

Well aren't you the little optimist.

The way I see it is this: yes, you have to face more obstacles. But hurting propells you towards doing something about it. Feeling hurt is better than feeling nothing at all. When you feel nothing, that's when you know it's rock bottom. It's having the strength to push on through the hurt that makes the victory so sweet.

Tomorrow is another day to face more troubles and hurt. That is how I see it.

[jacklivingston-angel]

What good are you as something else?

Really? What good am I as a wolf?

[jacklivingston-angel]

Exactly. A fresh start.

Tomorrow is a new beginning though

[jacklivingston-angel]

There's always something good in being who you are.

Its not your fault…it comes with being a wolf…

[jacklivingston-angel]

thing

Just a tad. But it's over now. Yesterday passed.

It’s quite… Nerve wrecking isn’t it?

[jacklivingston-angel]

Nothing good.

And what’s that?

[jacklivingston-angel]

I'm sorry that it is.

It still is beautiful…just painful as well.

[jacklivingston-angel]

The full moon would be beautiful if it didn't represent what it does.

[jacklivingston-angel]

Can You Feel This? || [Self Para]

Jack felt the rising sun warm his eyelids as its light filtered in through sheer white curtains. He didn't want to wake up, and yet he knew he should. This was a sign from God motivating him to get up out of bed. However, the amount Jack desired to stay in bed was immense. That's what alarmed him. That's what made him sit up abruptly, with quick breaths to follow. How could he be so ludicrous? To ignore God's wishes was not something an Angel should do. And Jack didn't, but the fact that the temptation to was escalating - that's something Jack couldn't comprehend. Rubbing sleep from his eyes, he pushed himself off the mattress. Feeling the floor against his feet, supporting his weight - he again felt shame. God was the one supporting him, why was he himself having trouble with his promise? Standing there for a minute, he sent a quick prayer up to his supporter for the strength to carry out this mission and to apologize for his conflictions. Then he made it to the bathroom and began his daily routine. His is a strong assumption, he's only adopted this habit since realizing it's what humans do. It feels good for the vessel he inhabits. To splash cold water on his face in the morning, to brush the grime away from his teeth, and to shave to keep a smooth face from not rubbing like sandpaper. 

The more time spent on earth, the more Jack felt things. Things he didn't know one could ever feel. Things he knew Angels definitely didn't feel. The normal bathroom routine wasn't the only thing, either. That he could live with. Co-existing among humans was beginning to prove difficult for Jack because of the traits he picked up quickly from them. True, Jack had to assimilate in order to blend in and carry out his mission - but was it getting too far? He makes it known that he's an Angel to anyone. He doesn't care about the repercussions because he's not afraid of that. But he also keeps telling everyone he's an Angel....maybe because he's starting to feel less and less like one as each week passes? The other day he found himself wanting to kiss a human girl. No reason, just because she was very pretty and spoke kindly. An Angel never felt that. And the day before that, he began to spew curses (under this breath) at the mechanic he was working with. Anger and lust were building up inside Jack. Flirting was not something he had ever done before, but he managed to do so incredibly easily now. 

Jack looked back upon his bed after finishing up in the bathroom. Its sheets crumpled up in the corner suggesting that he had kicked them off in his sleep. The sunlight bore down on the mattress, exposing the dust that danced in the air above it. His pillows were nowhere to be found, probably on the floor somewhere. Everything about this image screamed 'mess' to him. Which reminded him that life on Earth is filled with obstacles and flaws and evils, but beauty still manages to reign. It was what God created. But greater evils have infiltrated and the chance of beauty reigning is being put to the ultimate test. He needed to control these urges, these feelings he's finding grow stronger and stronger with each passing day. There are demons he's meant to vanquish that will use his weakness as bait. He cannot let up that these feelings could be his undoing. He returned to his bed and kneeled down before him. He looked at the sunlight spewing in. Then, bowing his head, he prayed again. Ending with, "and lead me not into temptation, but deliver me from the evil one." Jack does not want to become his evil one.

[jacklivingston-angel]

I take it this is your home then? Because only a person who has inhabited this place since youth would be apt to remain loyal to it after all its become.

Why? Nowhere’s any better.

[jacklivingston-angel]

I don't care. Actually, staying in bed is about the smartest thing you could ever do. In fact - why don't you just never step foot outside again. That would help things a lot.

Why do you care if I stay in bed anyway?

[jacklivingston-angel]

I'm not so sure about that. I'm not killed easily. 'Fraid I haven't. Is it any good?

That could get you killed real easily in this town. It’s nice to meet you too Jack. Ever see the movie Titanic?

[jacklivingston-angel]

Jack's eyes shifted over to where she had pointed to. The guy in the brightly colored apron lifted boxes of Fruity Pebbles next to the boxes of Lucky Charms. Jack smirked, returning his gaze onto the young lady. "You're probably right, about the wheat thing. So smart. Come here often?" He joked, laughing a little bit.

The voice that interrupted her grumbling reverie was an unfamiliar one and she turned to find its source. A tall, admittedly attractive, older guy was stood beside her mumbling something about cereal. A small smile gracing her lips, she readjusted the basket on her arm. “Thanks, I think I was about to go crazy” She chuckled, “And..you`re kinda missing the brightly colored apron that the other employees are wearing.” She grinned, pointing to a guy a little further down their aisle. “Maybe its a wheat thing” She added with a wry smile, thinking about the bread comment.

[jacklivingston-angel]

You're right about not being a car, that's true. But you're fooled if you think you can't get better. Everyone can.

What do I do now.

I’m not like a car. You can’t just service me, replace some parts and send my on my way. I can’t get better. 

[jacklivingston-angel]

"You're right. Everything has its pros and cons, at least you're sticking to the optimistic side. It makes everything a lot better." He sighed and noticed that his drink was empty. But he didn't want another. He tapped his knuckles against the countertop. "It's getting late, Indi. I hate to say it but I'm going to have to leave you now." He smiled apologetically, but he would most likely return.

"Not really. I have to tolerate drunk people while I’m sober but, the pay is good." She admitted. "In all seriousness, I love it here. I’m happy with what I do and aside from a few disadvantages but, I think every job has its pros and cons." She stated. Indi was never happy with anything because she didn’t do things out of pleasure.