jackmeat
jackmeat
Jackmeats Flix
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I watch everything so you don't have to!Make sure to click the link in RED to read the full reviewI have removed music releases. Check Linktree.
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jackmeat · 5 hours ago
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Aftershock (2012)
My quick rating – 5.1/10. Eli Roth’s Aftershock is one of those odd cinematic curiosities that’s been parked on my rewatch list for a while, mostly because I remembered it as a mixed bag of travelogue beauty, brutal carnage, and shaky-cam disaster chaos. And after finally diving back in, that impression still holds, with a few new takeaways. The film starts off deceptively light. The first…
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jackmeat · 1 day ago
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Final Destination: Bloodlines (2025)
My quick rating – 6.5/10. Well, Death is back, and this time, it’s been binge-watching classic 70s disaster films. Final Destination: Bloodlines kicks off the latest resurrection of the long-dormant franchise with a literal landmark-crashing opening that’s part structural engineering failure, part murder ballet. If you thought you were safe in a modern building, think again. Death is now a…
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jackmeat · 2 days ago
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Diablo (2025)
My quick rating – 5.9/10. Diablo is a gutsy, low-budget action flick that knows exactly who its audience is and wastes no time catering to them. If you’re here for intricate plots or emotional complexity, you’re in the wrong aisle. But if you’re showing up for Scott Adkins kicking teeth in, brutal one-on-one brawls, and a lean, mean “what would a father do” story, Diablo mostly delivers. Adkins…
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jackmeat · 3 days ago
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Cuckoo (2024)
My quick rating – 6.0/10. Tilman Singer’s Cuckoo is a moody, surreal psychological thriller that dips its toes into horror but never quite submerges. It’s an atmospheric slow-burn with stylish flair, oddball characters, and a strong lead performance from Hunter Schafer, though it stumbles a bit in deciding exactly what kind of movie it wants to be. The story follows Gretchen (Schafer), who moves…
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jackmeat · 4 days ago
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The Amateur (2025)
My quick rating – 6.8/10. The Amateur doesn’t set out to redefine the spy thriller genre, and that’s part of its quiet appeal. This is a throwback to the early 2000s era of espionage cinema—nerdier and refreshingly free of the hyper-stylized excess that often dominates modern action flix. It’s a story rooted in grief, personal resolve, and the emotional dissonance that comes when an ordinary man…
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jackmeat · 5 days ago
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Marshmallow (2025)
My quick rating – 6.9/10. Marshmallow kicks off with a bone-chilling dream sequence: a child is tossing and turning while his bed is slowly being engulfed in water, only to see that water is spewing from an open wound in his chest. It’s the kind of opening that grabs your throat and whispers, “This isn’t just a campfire story.” And it’s not. What starts as a standard camp-set horror film slowly…
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jackmeat · 6 days ago
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Predator: Killer of Killers (2025)
My quick rating – 7.2/10. Predator: Killer of Killers delivers exactly what I was hoping the title promised: brutal, high-octane confrontations between humanity’s fiercest warriors and cinema’s most lethal alien hunter. Presented in a stylized animated format, this anthology film leans into its genre roots with confidence, even if it doesn’t do much to surprise viewers beyond its bold visual…
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jackmeat · 7 days ago
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Uncontained (2025)
My quick rating – 4.1/10. Set in the frostbitten wilderness of North America, Uncontained opens with a bleak, quietly eerie tone and carries the Bloody Disgusting logo like a badge of genre pride. The story centers on a mysterious loner known only as The Man (Morley Nelson), who finds himself the unlikely guardian of two abandoned children, a boy and his younger sister, while navigating a world…
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jackmeat · 8 days ago
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Clown Motel 2 (2022)
My quick rating – 3.5/10. When you check into Clown Motel 2, make sure your expectations are packed light—and maybe also bring a pizza, a prayer, and a backup plan. Picking up six months after Clown Motel: Spirits Arise left off (because apparently someone demanded continuity), this nightmare of face paint, funhouse physics, and budget military cosplay marches onward with big shoes to fill,…
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jackmeat · 9 days ago
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Money Plane (2020)
My quick rating – 3.7/10. Money Plane is the kind of movie where you know exactly what you’re getting within the first five minutes: a low-budget, logic-light action flick anchored by a wildly implausible premise and some surprisingly familiar faces. The concept is absurd enough to spark curiosity—a futuristic airborne casino for the world’s most dangerous criminals, which is then targeted by a…
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jackmeat · 11 days ago
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Clown in a Cornfield (2025)
My quick rating – 6.0/10. In Clown in a Cornfield, director Eli Craig (Tucker and Dale vs. Evil) returns to the horror-comedy space with a slasher that’s blood-soaked, self-aware, and subtly skewering generational divides. Based on Adam Cesare’s YA horror novel, this adaptation follows Quinn (Katie Douglas) and her father (Aaron Abrams) as they relocate to the small town of Kettle Springs, a…
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jackmeat · 12 days ago
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The Parenting (2025)
My quick rating – 5.8/10. The Parenting is a lighthearted, spooky romp that nails the awkward “meet the parents” dynamic and layers on a delightfully absurd twist: a 400-year-old poltergeist lurking in the vacation rental. The setup feels like a familiar rom-com scenario. Boyfriends Josh and Rohan plan a weekend getaway so their parents can finally meet, but the film veers quickly (and…
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jackmeat · 13 days ago
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The Accountant² (2025)
My quick rating – 6.9/10. Nearly a decade after the original, The Accountant² picks up with Christian Wolff (Ben Affleck) drawn out of his quiet, calculated life when a former associate turns up dead. In true sequel fashion, the stakes escalate quickly, and so does the body count. With the mystery deepening and bullets flying, Wolff enlists his estranged and ferociously efficient brother, Brax…
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jackmeat · 14 days ago
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Last Night at Terrace Lanes (2024)
My quick rating – 4.0/10. Last Night at Terrace Lanes sets its sights on retro horror glory, but despite a strong setup and a promising premise, it ultimately gutters before reaching the final frame. The story centers on Kennedy (Francesca Capaldi), a high schooler on a disastrous date at a bowling alley set to close for good. Her night takes a bloody turn when a bloodthirsty cult launches a…
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jackmeat · 14 days ago
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Bikini Bloodbath Car Wash (2008)
My quick rating – 4.4/10. So I had to grab it because it sounds so stupid however I come to find out when entering it into my database that it is a sequel. Hope it isn’t good and forces me to go find the first one LOL. Going to guess I’ll be safe with that not happening. The acting is absolutely awful but it does make some of these jokes actually effective. I have already laughed a few more times…
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jackmeat · 15 days ago
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A Minecraft Movie (2025)
My quick rating – 5.3/10. Well, it finally happened. They made a Minecraft movie. And no, it’s not stop-motion or YouTube fanfic gone big budget—this is a full-on Hollywood production with stars, CGI, portals, and enough pixelated nonsense to crash your old school laptop. I barely played the game, and now that I’ve seen the film, I’m even less sure of what it’s actually about. We start with the…
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jackmeat · 16 days ago
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Fear Street: Prom Queen (2025)
My quick rating – 4.8/10. Fear Street: Prom Queen drops us into Shadyside High’s 1988 prom season, where the blood flows almost as freely as the Aqua Net. For underdog Lori (India Fowler), the fight for prom queen quickly turns deadly when someone starts offing the candidates. What follows is a neon-soaked slasher that hits a few nostalgic notes but ultimately misses the mark. The film…
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