jackmerribitch-blog

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if this ain’t me

Jack Merridew went crazy out of his love for Ralph

Thank you for coming to my Ted Talk

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Ralph (at a party): What do you want to drink? We have beer, vodka-

Simon: Uh do you have apple juice?

Ralph: Something wilder, maybe?

Simon: ...orange juice?

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Maurice: You have great taste in clothes.

Ralph: Well, I didn’t spend all that time in the closet for nothing!

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Piggy [patting Ralph and Simon the back]: Good job gays.

Ralph [nervous laughter]: Did you mean to say gu—

Piggy: Did I stutter.

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they all know it

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because this needed to be gifed

credits to lordofdafliez for the wonderful video

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ralph: *enters a room and stands behind jack*

jack: you've been avoiding me, golden boy.

ralph: how do you do that without turning around??

jack: to be perfectly honest, the first couple of people I did that to were not you, but here we are.

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Jack in his old age decided he’d rather fish than hunt piggies 

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it’s v hard to find

when you find someone whose as obsessed with lotf as you

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All the boys: *having an assembly*

Piggy: Where tf is Jack

Ralph: here, let me call him *pulls out phone, goes to favourites*

Piggy: Merriboo? Seriously? 

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Jack: *takes a crap*

Jack Merripoo

Jack: *eats meat*

Jack Merrichew

Jack: *makes coffee*

Jack Merribrew

Jack: gets dissed by Ralph

Jack Merriblue

Jack: *Doesn’t know who the hell Bill is*

Jack Merriwho

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lOvE tHIs

60s LotF Movie Things

Bad dubbing

Ralph’s voice changing constantly

Piggy’s actor not being very good but also being cute as a button so it makes up for a lot of things

Roger’s actor literally being Roger behind the scenes. like, throwing live lizards into fans and shit.

Samneric being naked for one (1) scene, and aside from that the movie having no nudity at all, which is for the best really

Jack pronouncing “Maurice” as “MORRIS”

The choir’s intro in general feeling like a Mouseketeer roll call

Simon’s lizard friend!!!

“And that’s the true story of Camberley!”

Taking the Lord of the Flies’ “dialogue” out, so Simon just kinda… stares at the pig’s head for a bit and the entire scene is rendered pointless

Ralph conspicuously never holding a spear once in the movie, despite doing so multiple times in the book 🤔🤔🤔🤔

Simon’s dramatic, emotional death scene immediately being followed by Piggy taking a piss

That one scene after Jack’s first successful hunt where everyone’s eating (except Piggy) and you hear all these disgusting meat slurping noises and it’s like… anti-ASMR…

Ralph’s in-your-face despairing ugly crying at the end of the book being replaced with a few aesthetically pleasing cinematic tears that make him look. just kinda mildly upset about these events.

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Wake Jack Up Inside

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 this is what happened, isn’t it

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Jack: *literally just takes off his fucking cloak*

Ralph:

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Adult: "so what do you like to do in your free time? Any extra curricular activities?" My brain: *shit posts* *Jack and Ralph smiled at one another in shy liking* Me: "I like to paint"