jackson-alder-camron

[jackson-alder-camron]

Andrew,

Thanksgiving was definitely something. Old wounds were open, but hopefully, nothing that can't be healed back. It was just the four of us thankfully. They still aren't the same without you.

Everyone misses you. Claire especially. She's not been the same since you've left. No one really has, but something about her is missing. Like she's afraid to be too much of herself as if it will lead to someone else leaving too.

I miss you too, but in a way, it's as if you'll always still be around. Laim being left behind kind of made things not as hard when you left. Like he's a reflection of you even though I know he's not. I still love you, I love you both dearly, but I know deep down that you two are still different from one another.

We were also never the closest. Not as much as I wanted us to be. I felt like I've always watched you and Claire from the outside, so maybe that's why it doesn't affect me the same. The hurt's still there, but knowing I'll get to see you one day again makes it not as bad. At least I hope I get to. Maybe a little sooner than expected... or not.

Life feels a bit reckless, but that too may be a way for me to keep you around. Living how you did in a way. I've stopped being so scared of everything. Another thanks to Liam. He helps me face my fears, kind of like how you did. I still can't believe it's been five years.

I love you and pray you've finally found the peace you seemed to always be searching for. I'm still looking, though at times it feels like I can get moments with it. They just never last as long as I want them to. Maybe one day.

Tell me, would I be able to find it there? With you? I guess I won't get that answer while I'm here and you're not. If I take the risk, I'm not even sure I'll get it then either. The unknown is the biggest reason why I don't when things reach their darkest. Mine as well suffer through hell a little while here than suffer through it eternally, right?

Just a little longer than, that's all I need to wait. It's worth it, waiting. If our life is just a mist compared then maybe it will be over in a blink.

I'm sorry, I'm getting depressed again. Some days are harder not to. I've been good though, I promise. Today things just seemed to hit harder than the rest. I should stop here before I begin to make myself slip again.

We'll talk again soon, or I guess I'll talk and you hopefully listen. This helped some. It seemed ridiculous at first for Alder to suggest it, and I'm not even fully sure if this counts as sin or not. I mean I technically am talking to the dead, but right now, I'm just glad to get things out. Tell Pop I said hi, will you?

-Jack

[jackson-alder-camron]

The day's definitely been something, but still hanging in there.

-Jackson

[jackson-alder-camron]

Late night

It's a late night, and I'm thinking nachos. It's been a while since I've stayed up just me and I. I'm sure the guys, or mostly Alder, will complain. But you know what, you're only young once. 😁

-Liam 💛

[jackson-alder-camron]

A morning chilling with the boys. It's been a little wavy, but still well.

-All of us. 💙💚💛❤️

[jackson-alder-camron]

-Jackson

[jackson-alder-camron]

Relaxing alone now, I always seem to be the last one up. Quiet, but sometimes nice.

-Liam

[jackson-alder-camron]

Just chilling with the boys.

-Jackson and Connor!

[jackson-alder-camron]

Tonight's been Wonderful. Thank you, God.

-Jackson

[jackson-alder-camron]

I know the guys and I haven't posted in a while. Everything is fine, we've just been living life and getting caught up. Mostly streaming and enjoying each day as it comes. Life's actually been pretty great lately. We have a new addition to the family. His name is Charles, and he's completely adorable. I might post pictures about him soon, but like I said. I just wanted to get on here to let you know everything's fine.

-Jackson, and Conner too! 😁

[jackson-alder-camron]

This heat lately, I'm ready for cooler weather already.

-Jackson

[jackson-alder-camron]

A beautiful morning getting better with the fall of rain. Coffee and a good book, yeah, today's going to be a good one. 😊💙

-Jackson

[jackson-alder-camron]

It's been a calm few days. A blessing for sure.

-Jackson

[jackson-alder-camron]

I remembered something today. I'm not sure how I feel about it. Definitely nothing good.

-Jack

[jackson-alder-camron]

Just want to chill and game with the guys today.

-Liam

[jackson-alder-camron]

Things are pretty good today. With Shabbat tonight, I'm glad chores are done early. So, all that's left is to relax. 😊

-Jackson

[jackson-alder-camron]

It a bit of a gloomy morning, but in a way, that makes it a perfect one for a run.

-Connor

[jackson-alder-camron]

Rain, rain, come again. You're welcome here any day. 😊

-Connor 💚