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[jackzimmermannn]

je ne parle frAncais BITCH!!!!!!!Je ne comprend pas! Eat mon ass

[jackzimmermannn]

I’m just gonna say it: coach is hot.

[jackzimmermannn]

i need to find that post where i said coach was hot.

[jackzimmermannn]

um......hELLO?!

sorta-kind a present/shout out to @justjackbitty because I spent the last week going through about 350 pages of their blog??? because Zimbits. So here’s a messy Zimbits. Not perfect but whatevs

If you haven’t read OMG Check, Please! ( @omgcheckplease) this doesn’t make sense to you. Go read it if you want idk man it’s your life

[jackzimmermannn]

nursey and dex are sam and freddie and chowder is carly

[jackzimmermannn]

bitty, holding up senor bun menacingly: u better cool it or you’re gonna get the paws mister

jack, who has faced god and walked backwards into hell: AH! not the paws 😩 have mercy!!!

[jackzimmermannn]

I’m shaking the bars of bitty’s cell I’m so excited for the rest

“Is This A Dare?” | A Zimbits College AU

“Make your phone call,” the officer instructs him.

“But I don’t have my contacts,” Bitty repeats for the umpteenth time. “They’re all on my phone!”

The woman shrugs but offers a sympathetic glance. Bitty sighs. It’s a crap situation and he’s definitely panicking but she’s not at fault.

“I’ll be back in five minutes,” she tells him and walks off, leaving him alone in the corridor by the wall-mounted phone.

He does know a few numbers off by heart but he doesn’t think his parents will appreciate a call at this time of night from their only child who is in another state and in jail.

Bitty longs to bang his head against the wall but doesn’t want to catch some disease. He checks his pockets once more for his phone, driven by an instinct he can’t fight off.

Nothing, nothing, nothing. Again.

He wraps his arms around his torso, trying to remain calm and not switch over from panicking to crying. That’s when he hears it. The crinkle of paper. He pulls out the folded bit of paper from his inside coat pocket and tries not to let his hopes build too quickly, but he has a feeling that-

“Yes!” Bitty exclaims.

It’s the course outline for the class he’d been studying for. Scribbled at the top is the phone number of the TA.

Bitty calls the number, not sure if the five minutes the cop gave him is the only chance he’ll get to contact someone, desperately hoping for an answer even though it’s near midnight.

The phone is picked up after two rings.

“Hi. This is Jack.”

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[jackzimmermannn]

I’m currently in an airport so ... prompt about Jack trying to make it home on time for Bitty’s birthday?

Great idea, thank you for sending me this! And safe travels to you!

“Like I said before, sir,” the lady at the airline countersaid, her voice placating but with a slight edge to it, “we’ve been experiencingminor delays, but we expect to be able to board soon.”

“You said that two and a half hours ago,” Jack said. “Icould have driven and been halfway there by now, but I thought this would befaster.”

“We will let you know as soon as soon as we can when theplane will be ready.”

“You don’t understand, it’s my boyfriend’s birthday, I’mtrying to surprise him by being there for his party.”

“That’s very nice,” the lady said, unmoved, “and we will letyou know when we have an update.”

Jack couldn’t sit still. He paced back and forth and startedto sweat as real panic set in. He pulled his phone out of his pocket and calledShitty.

“Jack! My dude, my bro,” Shitty answered. “You almost here?”

“My flight hasn’t even left yet,” Jack said. “I should’vejust picked up a rental car. I’m never gonna make it in time.”

“Well, the flight itself is barely an hour, and we’ve stillgot like three hours until Bitty gets back to the Haus. Lards and I are heredecorating, and Rans and Holtsy are on their way back from picking up the food.”

“Hey, Jack! Stop freaking out!” Lardo shouted from thebackground.

“How could she tell I’m freaking out?” Jack asked.

“Women’s intuition? Psychic powers? Or she just knows youlike super well?”

Keep reading

[jackzimmermannn]

If you’re ever too nervous to comment on fanfics, please look at some of the absolute nonsense I leave people:

First there’s weird reactions to smut:

Sometimes I like to keep the author updated on how I’m doing while I’m reading the fic:

Other times I make astute observations:

Then there’s whatever the fuck this is:

Admittedly half of these weird comments are due to the fact that I like to drink wine and read fanfic at 2 AM, but the point is don’t be embarrassed to leave dumbass comments because I 100% guarantee the author will love it regardless. 

[jackzimmermannn]

This is like....the most hail mary of all hail mary’s, but if you or anyone you know are looking to sublet your place in DC OR you had a good experience with short term housing somewhere in DC, PLEASE let me know.

[jackzimmermannn]

where did his hat go

[jackzimmermannn]

A slapstick comedy fic where Jack comes down to Georgia to visit and Suzanne overhears him tell Bitty that he’s glad he could come down to see his boyfriend and obviously he means Bitty, but Suzanne doesn’t know that.

She’s pretty sure Bitty is gay but is waiting for him to come to her and so she’s furious that this man is using her son, who clearly adores him, as a cover to come visit his boyfriend, who must live in the area, right?

And Jack for the life of him cannot figure out why Mrs. Bittle started hating him and THEN coach sees Jack kiss Bitty and tells Suzanne and they both think that not only is Jack cheating on his boyfriend, but that their son knowingly participates and they are ready to TAN THAT BOY’S HIDE and it all comes to a head in a farmer’s market with a shouting match that, so nobody gets publicly outed, is disguised as a continuation of the Bittle-Phelps jam wars [Mama, you mean that you already knew Jack and I both,,, like BOYSenberry jam? WAIT NO Coach, jack has never been using anybody’s recipe besides mine!!]

[jackzimmermannn]

right, but if i were in that au where whatever you write on your skin appears on your soulmate’s skin, you wouldn’t catch me pining away for 10k. i would just write my phone number and ‘text me’ and bam we’d get together in like 20 min

[jackzimmermannn]

Hello, it is Tuesday and it’s been a while since I’ve done a Holster shitpost. I miss my lorge boi. 

Bonus:  Holster: Bits, can we talk? One ten to another? Bitty: I’m an eleven, but continue. 

[jackzimmermannn]

I just wanted to drop in and say I ADORE Pretty Boy and can't wait for future updates

Wahhh, thank you ;_; We’ve caught up with all the chapters I have backlogged and I’m in the middle of job applications and preparing for an upcoming trip rn, so I haven’t been prioritizing writing. I have the epilogue written, I just need to write the final three chapters. Once I have the next chapter written I’ll post it, hopefully sometime this month! I always love hearing people’s predictions and hopes for future chapters, so feel free to send them my way. Thank you for reading.

[jackzimmermannn]

bitty’s friends keep randomly calling him and blasting old town road

[jackzimmermannn]

She is impossibly small.

Kent reaches out and strokes his finger down her back. She’s half the width of his hand. He’s worried he’s going to hurt her.

The kitten emits a rumbling noise. She vibrates under Kent’s hand.

“Hey,” he says very softly. The kitten purrs harder.

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