jaehyeonsgf

[jaehyeonsgf]

moving to jaesheart!

this blog has been dead and i wanted to start smth new!!!!!

come visit me @jaesheart

same thing, just with more consistency.

[jaehyeonsgf]

CANDY (2022) — NCT DREAM

[jaehyeonsgf]

Yuta for I Mens Non - No Japan

[jaehyeonsgf]

JAEHYUN ♡ Gold Dust

[jaehyeonsgf]

bringing this back

prompt list.

i write for all 21 members of nct ! just send an ask with a prompt(s), a member and, if you want, a genre (fluff, smut, angst). 

also feel free to send prompts outside of this list.

“Shut up.” “Make me.”

“Lying is part of the job description.”

Meeting him was a daydream for me, but meeting me must have been a nightmare for him.

Maybe we were lovers in our past lives

There are no such things as bad ideas. Just good ideas gone horribly wrong.

“have you looked enough or should I give you a few more minutes?”

“I know, but it won’t stop me from trying?”

“careful, I just might break your heart.”

Have I known you for twenty minutes or twenty years?

That was a lie and everyone knew it.

“go to hell.” “stop threatening me with a good time.”

“whatever you have to say about me, say it to my face.”

“I’ve been flirting with you for three years, it’s about time you started to catch on.”

“it’s nice to feel something once in a while, even if it’s pain.”

“I might just kiss you.”

They said I made a mistake, did something bad. All I did was fall in love.

“it’s like you’ve made it your sole mission to annoy me.”

“sleep is for the weak.” “sleep is for the week.”

“smile baby, you’re on camera.”

Truth or dare

Hold me tight or don’t at all.

“it’ll be fun, trust me.”

“I’m with you, you know that.”

“don’t underestimate me.”

“good, i was looking forward to this.”

“you own my heart.”

“say it out loud.”

“i no longer have a plan.”

“hey, keep that a secret, i have a reputation to keep up.”

“i need a date.”

take it all, all of me is yours.

stuck in a storage room with a rival

childhood friends au

“i know you like it sweet, sugar.”

“i don’t regret a single moment of that.”

“my life’s so much more colourful with you in it.”

“why do you hate me so much?”

“do you ever shut up?”

“i’ll wait for you.”

“hold on.”

[jaehyeonsgf]

hello, i’m alive.

currently stuck in another country for another 3-ish weeks. am thinking of bringing back this blog & to write more now that i’ve more time. 

(also my cousin has a mechanical keyboard that makes typing sounds so good)

if anyone’s still here, thanks for staying.

[jaehyeonsgf]

not @ me deleting a 5k fic just because i suddenly didnt like how i write... 

[jaehyeonsgf]

looking good from every angle 🌹

[jaehyeonsgf]

be mah king

[jaehyeonsgf]

jaehyun in save 

[jaehyeonsgf]

nct 127 x amoeba culture: save

[jaehyeonsgf]

no thoughts, just soft and cozy lee taeyong ♡

[jaehyeonsgf]

roommates : part one

In all retrospect, Jung Jaehyun was the worst type of roommate to have.

In your defence, you hadn’t given him much thought when you agreed to split rent with him. You had just moved into a college town and rent was predatorial to say the least. Having someone to spilt the burden with would have taken so much off the plate.

Besides, you had known Jaehyun for a while by then. Well, a while would be an understatement.

You’ve known him almost the entirety of your life. Your families were neighbours since you were in kindergarten. That said, apart from kindergarten and primary school, you two hung around different crowds.

In truth, the both of you were more like acquaintances.  

And it wasn’t even your idea to room with him. It was your mother’s. And his mother’s. It was out of convenience.

But you never thought that he’d be this bad.

Firstly, he talked too much. Every Monday morning, since neither of you had morning classes, which, looking back on it, seemed more of a curse than a blessing, Jaehyun took it upon himself to cook breakfast for the both of you. The upside was that he’d cook and he wasn’t a half bad chef. The downside was that you were subjected to his rant of the week. As well as cleaning.

(It seemed he didn’t know the functions of a sink beyond a holding place for dirty dishes. And some days, he’d forget that too.)

It wasn’t limited to Monday mornings either.

Whenever he was feeling sad, he would demand for the attention to be on him. It didn’t matter that you were rushing out a 10-page essay due the next morning. Besides, even if you had found some magical spell to ignore his wails, he’d make a sad sound – a whine, perhaps – that gutted you.

So, you’d put away your work, and comply to his wishes.

You’d hug him when he demanded for one, but as friends. It didn’t matter how he’d make a soft giggle into your hair when you finally comply, the kind that sent a shiver down your spine. It didn’t matter how he’d never let go until the both of you fell asleep in the arms of each other.

It certainly didn’t matter that your heart would swell so painfully against your ribs that it made it almost impossible to breathe.

After all, you were friends. Friends give each other hugs all the time, right?

(It was just a hug, anyways.)

Secondly, Jaehyun always left a trail of chaos wherever he went.

It didn’t stop at his room, though you were almost sure that his room was a biowarfare zone. His clothes would be strewn everywhere, decorating the floors of your living room, the sofas and the chairs at the dining room.

There were days that you found his laundry mixed with yours too. You’d wonder how it got there, but just like everything with Jaehyun, you wouldn’t be able to get a conclusive answer.

Unfortunately for you, his messes weren’t limited to the physical ones. He left a trail of girls behind as well.

Of course, he didn’t do it intentionally.

If you were to blame anything, you’d blame it on his face (which might make the list of his greatest offences). He was offensively beautiful, the kind of beauty that made you physically gasp in awe of it. It was no wonder that everyone wanted him. It was no wonder that everyone wondered what it would be like to love him.

“I’ve got a date!” He’d announce, randomly.

And you’re used to hearing those words. You’ve learnt not to ask about the girl that had came over just last week, or the girl that he was calling constantly at the start of the week. You’ve learnt to accept it. (Or at least, pretend to.)

You’ve also learnt not to ignore his announcement, for fear of him pestering, scared that you’re angry at him.

“You’re not angry at me, right?” He’d almost pleaded with his puppy eyes. The ones he knew you were weak for.

You’d try find a way to phrase how you were, but that anger was less because of the date and more directed at your annoyance with him. But of course, you wouldn’t be able to find a way to articulate it quick enough so he’d come over next to you, now bearing a pout, and he’d repeat his question.

When you inevitable end up in that spot, you’ve learnt the best way to get him away was to reassure him that you weren’t angry.

Then, when he finally left for the date, you’ve trained yourself to pick up after him, because which girl would want to date a guy who couldn’t clean up after himself. You’d place all his dirty laundry where they actually belong – in the laundry basket. You’d make sure that his bed was made, and that his table remained neat and wasn’t cluttered by everything and anything.

After which, you’d hide away in your room. And almost wait.

The pain in your chest would at once ease a little and yet intensify when you would hear their hushed giggles as they stumbled through the house. It was almost offensive. They hushed themselves for fear of disturbing you not realizing that their presence already did.

Honestly, you think, you’d prefer if they were more in your face about it. Rather than pretend, in this roundabout way, that they cared.

(You think about it again and decide, no you didn’t.)

However, in a way, knowing that he was preoccupied with another girl served as a sobering reminder that the both of you could never be. It was in a way, enjoyable. Much more than the nights when he did stay in, and one way or another, he’d end up entangling you in his arms. It’ll make you think in a way that could never be. Only for him to strut out of his room the next morning, with his bed hair that somehow still retained his handsomeness, as if the previous night was nothing.

(But of course, it was nothing. To him, anyways.)

Finally, Jaehyun broke up pretty often. And a broken up Jaehyun meant a drunk Jaehyun. And you despised a drunk Jaehyun more than his messes, or his loud mouth, or anything, or everything.

Because a drunk Jaehyun was an affectionate and touchy Jaehyun.

(As if he needed any more reasons to be obnoxious.)

He’d drunkenly stumble through the apartment, almost frantically, as if searching for something. Once in a while, he’d bump into something and there’d be a loud crash. You’d pretend you didn’t hear it and pull the blanket over your head. The stumbling would start up again and it always ended the same way.

The inevitable would happen. And you weren’t sure if you were anticipating it or dreading it.

Somehow, the drunken Jaehyun would find himself slipping into your bed, his arms snaking around your waist and his hot breath hitting the back of your neck. You’d pretend you were already asleep.

“I know you are awake,” he whispered against your skin.

You’d give him nothing.

“Don’t get mad at me.”

You’d dig your nails deeper into the flesh of your palm.

“Warm,” he’d say as he nested his chin in the crook of your neck.

Again, you’d give him nothing again. Instead, you’d close your eyes and pray that this night would be the night that Jaehyun would finally get the hint and leave you alone (with your aching heart). But of course, you’d never get what you wanted.

(Though when you did, it would be the next morning, the other side of your bed would be cold and empty and you’d almost regret praying for Jaehyun to leave you alone.)

-

You had resigned yourself to your fate. An almost masochistic tendency.

But you could live with it.

Because with Jaehyun, things were predictable. You could almost count the beats to the tune. A new girl would capture the attention of Jaehyun. Things would go well until they weren’t. Then he’d come running to you. But before you could even be tempted by the idea of something more, another girl would capture his attention again.

You thought that it was safer to put your hopes in an absolute never be than anything else.

But then one day, the beats changed. And nothing would be the same. 

[jaehyeonsgf]

jaehyun (punch)

[jaehyeonsgf]

afraid

There are times when idol life paralyses Jaehyun and he doesn’t know what to do. A dull ache beats in his heart. His hands are shaky. He starts to speak less and dwell more. He doesn’t eat. He doesn’t sleep. He just… exists. It’s joyless and painful.

In these moments, looking at you scares him. He understands the struggles that you’ve been through and he’s fearful what would happen to you the longer you stand by him.

(He remembers how once you dreamed of dancing ballet professionally. He remembers the way your eyes sparkle whenever you’re dancing. He remembers the passion you spoke with. He remembers sparkle in your eyes when you told him you were giving up on ballet for him – this time, it was because of the tears that welled up.)

He thinks that he’s the darkness overwhelming you, obscuring your light. Your light-hearted smile tells him that you’re happy right beside him but he can’t help but wonder if you could be happier without him. He’s fearful that he can’t make you happy.

He recognises the tension within himself: one part of him loves you so he wants to let you go, the other part loves you so he doesn’t know what would happen to himself if he did let you go.

“Let me help,” you say to him one night, taking his hands in yours. You have had enough of watching your lover fall apart. Your voice is soft and tender and embraces him.

Those three words were enough to shatter him completely.

He tells you everything. He tells you about feeling greedy for wanting you beside him. He tells you how the fans have been affecting him. He tells you about the constant pressure of being pitted against the rest of his members.

What he doesn’t tell you is that he will always be grateful for those three words. He doesn’t tell you that those three words from you meant the whole world to him. He doesn’t tell you that those three words will forever be better than any ‘I love you’s.

There are times when idol life paralyses Jaehyun but he’s grateful to have you by him, reminding him that he’s never alone and that anything is possible.

(And slowly, you help him understand that if you’re the light in his life, it’s his darkness that truly brings out your light – not diminishes it.)

[jaehyeonsgf]

drunk calls

There are benefits to being in the entertainment industry, Jaehyun thinks to himself. He doesn’t need to stalk your Facebook or your Instagram and guess if you’re dating someone. The news tells him.

His thumb hovers over the photo of you and Taeyong standing on a red carpet. You’re dressed in a long elegant red dress and Taeyong is standing beside you in an equally elegant suit, his arm around your waist. The caption of the post reads: [BREAKING] SM Entertainment confirms that Lee Taeyong has a new lady in his life.

Jaehyun finds himself acknowledging the fact that, of course it’s Taeyong you like. He’s worked with Taeyong on a few projects before and, although he’s not exactly good friends with Taeyong, he can see why you’d like him. Taeyong’s talented; he has the kind of talent that handwork could never match up to. He’s kind. (Jaehyun remembers Taeyong handing him a drink and talking to him during a press conference for a drama that they were together in.) He’s effortlessly good-looking. He’s perfect.

In a way, Jaehyun’s glad that it’s Taeyong. At least, it’s someone he could see being nice to you, cherishing you and loving you. At least, it’s someone that deserved your love and admiration.

What Jaehyun doesn’t quite understand the ache in his heart because the both of you have never been officially together. Sure, there was a moment that Jaehyun thought that there could be more to the both of you, but it had never reached that point. In fact, he was the one that pulled away. He decided to focus on his career because that’s what mattered the most. He knew how quickly even a rumour could destroy his just-budding career and he wasn’t going to let that happen to him.

Nevertheless, he finds himself spectacularly drunk that night. He sits on the floor of his living room, the coffee table full of emptied bottles of soju. He lifts one bottle to his lips, growing annoyed when he realises that there’s nothing left in the bottle.

In the corner of his eyes, he spots his phone and he doesn’t know why but the urge to call you suddenly overwhelms him. He reaches for his phone and even though he’s so drunk that he could barely read, he effortlessly punches your number into his phone and waits patiently for you to pick up. In retrospect, he doesn’t know why he decided to do it. It’s not like a phone call from an almost can get you to break things off with Taeyong. Maybe he’s crazy. Maybe he’s had enough of suppressing his feeling. Maybe he’s finally acknowledged his feelings. Maybe-

“Hello!”

The sound of your voice has him perking up. But his hope is quickly diminished.

“You’ve reached my voicemail. Please leave a message and I’ll call you back when I do.”

A beep follows and Jaehyun doesn’t know what to say.

“Hello,” he tries to suppress the slur in his speech, “it’s… Um… It’s me, Jaehyun.”

He fiddles with an empty bottle of soju. His mind is full of things he wants to tell you. He just doesn’t know where to begin. He decides on the news and he congratulates you. But somewhere along complimenting Taeyong and saying that he’s totally fit for you, he starts crying and he confesses his feelings. It’s the first time he has allowed himself to admit it.

“I really, really like you,” he sobs into his phone.

It sobers himself enough to realise what he’s doing is probably really dumb and pathetic.

“But of course, there’s always someone else,” he says rather solemnly before giving a rushed goodbye.

The next morning, he wakes up to the sound of someone banging on his door and zero recollection of the night. His head is throbbing, his eyes are swollen and his throat is painfully dry. He drags himself to the door. It takes him a few moments to recognise the face behind his door, and then he does.

It’s you.

“W-what-“

Then he notices the deep frown etched between your brows and puts two-and-two together. It dawns on him that this time he really did it, he really went too far.

“If it’s about last night, look I’m really sorry,” he barely manages to croaks out, “I swear I don’t know what took over me but look, I’ll delete your contact-“

“Did you mean it?” Your voice is shaky and you can’t bring yourself to look him in his eyes. “The voicemail.”

He leaves out the fact that he doesn’t remember anything about last night and just apologises repeatedly, “I promise I won’t be weird about it. I swear. I know that Taeyong’s your boyfriend and I really crossed-”

You pull him down by the collar of his shirt and kiss him. That is enough to get Jaehyun to finally shut up.

You take the time to explain, “It’s a publicity stunt. We have a new drama coming up. Taeyong and I.”

Jaehyun takes the time to process things. He’s too shocked between the kiss and the fact that you are not dating Taeyong.

“Did you mean it?” you ask again.

This time, all Jaehyun can do is to nod.

[jaehyeonsgf]

“this is what sexy is” – jaemin