jakob-muller

[jakob-muller]

maureenkeaton​:

“I do know.” She murmured, not wanting to take her hands off of him. Cursing herself for it, partially, but at the same time, he’d never been anything but kind and caring to her, at least - and perhaps she could manage to make him stop bothering Zu, to let her live the wonderful life that she deserved. “It is, but everything I am saying is true, I promise you.” It was - she liked to think of herself as an honest person the vast majority of the time in general, but even more so when it came to those she had a particular fondness for (of course, she had blamed her brother for a few things back when they were children that were not at all his fault.

Maureen leaned into his kiss, into him, just as she always did - she’d known him for less than a year but it already felt so much longer than that. It made her wonder how she could have thought her boyfriend back in high school was the one she was meant to be with. Not that she held anything against him at all - after all, he’d been perfect at the time, but there was something nearly electric with Jakob. That something that had, perhaps, been a major factor in why she’d returned to the apartment rather than staying with Zu and breaking up with him.

“I - I know.” She pressed her tongue against the roof of her mouth. There was little she wanted more than to hear him tell her that he loved her, but she also knew that where she could talk for ages, he preferred fewer words, preferred to err on the side of stoicism where she liked bubbly. “I am grateful - and I’d be keen to show you how grateful after dinner, if you’d like? Make up for the time I was away.” She ran her fingers against the edge of his shirt. “Only if you wish, though. I - I am glad to be home.”

"Well, not to be rude, but you’re not precisely what one could call a great liar,” the dig came with one of his crooked smile, deviousness twinkling in his eyes. Although unsure with his timing, Jakob felt that there had been a shift in the room, a lightness having returned to her voice, a softness in her eyes. Where he began to see a mix of concern, perhaps even fear, just minutes ago, there was nothing but Maureen now. Sweet, kind, not-so-innocent Maureen. Although she was keeping something from him, she wasn’t turning her heels on him and that was all that mattered then. This, he couldn’t accept, this he would not let happen. He was hers and she was his.

Arms wrapped around her waist, Jakob let his hands drop to her lower back. All the ways he had of showing her that she mattered proved to be beneficial to him on the long term. A flower delivery here, an impromptu present there, a note left on the fridge or in her lunch box. Each of those things were like a piece of rope he tied between himself and the young woman, weaving slowly a bond that would not break, and now he had her precisely where he wanted her.

An upturned twitch of the corners of his lips, spreading into a smirk as he began to trail his hand further down, dipping under the hem of her skirt. “Maureen, we have a microwave. “His breath fleetingly floated against the soft skin of her neck. He would have brought her flush against him, but that wound on his stomach demanded a little bit of caution, and he knew that she would behave.  He invited her to rest her weight against the kitchen counter, right where Ava had him cornered like a stupid, stupid boy. Lowering himself to his knees, the same devious glint reappeared in Jakob's eyes, his face etched with a smug satisfaction as she weaved her fingers in his hair.

[jakob-muller]

intxication​:

-

“Yeah”. Mathias had no issues speaking of his past, mostly because there wasn’t much to it. He killed his family, and then got punished for it. All he ever knew was a cell, prisoner guards, and waves of psychologists that wanted to know why. It wasn’t much of a childhood, but one could possibly blame Mathias for that. “Do you like it though? Even if you don’t get to work with all of them. I think birds and reptiles are cool too”. His friend seemed to have a good job and maybe even a good life (as good as it could be working for a gang). He felt happy that Jakob had something normal. A normal life, even if it was just a front, was all Mathias ever wanted. 

Sure enough, the scar that he gave Jakob wasn’t much of a scar. Good, he doubted either of them needed a constant reminder of that night. “You have a good doctor in your mix then. Most of the doctors I’ve been around don’t really make an effort to make the scars disappear”. Laughing, Mathias bumped shoulders with Jakob, “Maybe I should have made it bigger for you, to really give your doctors a challenge”. 

The excitement he had just to see some ice bears felt a little silly. Mathias was a murderer, a convicted one too. Getting excited about seeing polar bears didn’t seem right. “Do they have names? What do you feed then?” he asked, trying to push back those out of place thoughts. Mathias wanted to enjoy his time with his friend, and enjoy just a small taste of what his life could have been. 

.

“I do like it,” it wasn’t a mystery to anyone that although he could bear being around people, he most often preferred the company of animals, or, he found, of people who allowed themselves to run feral every now and then. “It’s simple, in a way.” Without words to communicate, you had only had your instincts and your knowledge to guide you through his work days, and he appreciated that a lot. All the lying and the pretending, that could have exhausted anyone. At least, when he was here, he didn’t have to look the part of the perfect son in law, boyfriend, or god knows what else. Now all he could wish for was that this would always be enough for him. Ava, she seemed to think he should just cross that line. He wondered what Mathias might have thought about that. He didn’t wonder what Maureen might have thought about that. She was all about the rules, and the answer was one he could easily guess.

“We have a great doctor. Skilled and actually bearable to talk to,” considering he had held her leg regarding stitching techniques, he supposed that wasn’t much of a surprise. Doctors talking about doctor things : ground breaking. “Oh shut up, I thought I was gonna pass out,” which really wasn’t something he should have told his friend, but hey, they were friends. You told your friends everything. And what could he possibly do with this information? Stab him again? “I really didn’t need you twisting the knife or making it in any way worse,” bonus : he had a better understanding now of how abdominal wounds could heal than he did just from years of watching and reading.

“If I had known, I’d have offered a tour much sooner,” he went on. “I can probably get you a season pass,” not that being a hitman or whatever Mathias was could possibly pay terribly, but it always felt nice, receiving something from someone who cared. “They do have names. Taïko, Katinka and Aron, he’s the c-” They were approaching the enclosure and Jakob could tell that the bears were not on their best behavior from the sound of water splashing around alone. Rubbing his hand against his face, he let out a laugh. Right. The classic mistake of forgetting something inside a paddock. Whoever had left his shovel in there wasn’t going to get into trouble, but the bears, they were having the time of their lives playing with the object. “Maybe they’ll let go of that if we get them some food,” he reckoned, “fun fact, they like carrots quite a lot. It cleans their teeth,” pushing the door with his back, he smiled. “Other wise, they get dog kibble, trout, and every now and them, we throw cow femur bones and thawed rabbits,” as a treat. 

[jakob-muller]

maureenkeaton​:

“I won’t.” Even though she could still hear Zu’s words in the back of her mind - the ones that had told her everything he’d done, and everything he was capable of. Still, whenever she was around him she felt an incredible need to comfort him, and there was something that was still so entirely magnetic about him - the way she’d been drawn to him from the first moment that she’d lain eyes on him, the way that she’d found any excuse she could to message him, the way they’d ended up kissing on Halloween (and she had to be honest - she had gone to see the note he’d written on the bench a few times since).

“You did.” She looked over to him with wide eyes, “I don’t know what I would have done if you hadn’t.” Because even if she was angry for what he’d done, and even if some of his habits now made her tense up, she still loved him - still cared for him - and still didn’t want any harm to come to him - especially not physical.

“For even one weekend?” She looked down at her hands, “or if not, can we celebrate once you’ve passed your oral exam. I can help you prepare - I’ve been told I have some good methods to help people - well, you - review for things. Motivation and the such.” Maureen offered him a small grin. She was only glad that he hadn’t up and changed the locks on her - though if he had, she knew that she could just go back to Zu’s place, but she wanted to at least check on Jakob, and so the relief that things were still mostly the same was practically enough to make her collapse.

As he wrapped his arms around her she felt herself relax to fit against his body in the way that they always managed. “I won’t.” She buried her face in his chest, breathing in the smell of his detergent and shampoo. “I - I love you, Jakob.” She looked up at him for a moment, pressing a kiss against his chin. “So much.”

He bit back the sound of protest that should have come with her pressing herself against him, although his nose twitched in response. Jakob, although he knew that she would never fault him for showing weakness, didn’t want her to see that. To Maureen, he’d always have to seem like nothing could get to him, nothing except maybe her. Glancing down, he let a fond smile grace his lips. “I know.” Letting his smile reach his eyes, Jakob wrinkled his nose at her. This, he did often, or rather, whenever she said something he found particularly endearing. “That’s a lot,” always was, and perhaps a bit overwhelming, as he was unsure how that was supposed to feel. He was not indifferent. Maureen was a kind girl, and he knew she provided all he could need or ask for. From a productive point of view, she certainly was all he could dream of. And she was simple (most of the time. Jakob still wondered why she decided to disappear like that.) He wouldn’t get the answer out of her just like that, and it was perhaps best, for now, to do things her way. He didn’t say the words back, he never did, but Maureen knew already, by now, that Jakob had trouble with feelings and expressing them. Kissing her forehead, he hummed quietly an air familiar to her. Perhaps through some snooping around, he’d once fallen on one of her ice skating routines, and wondered how one could be so graceful navigating across such an unfriendly environment. 

Unsurprisingly enough, Jakob didn’t like unfriendly environments, whether they were water or ice. He certainly didn’t like being up in the air either. It all made him feel rather idiotic, and rather than to learn how to master those elements, he preferred to avoid them and stick to the comfortable ground.

“You know, even if I can’t say...” And he knew this caused her sorrow, which was something he actually despised himself for, “I do care for you,” he didn’t add so much, feeling as if the humor would cheapen it rather than the opposite, but he did care a lot for the young woman. She was an important part of his life, and he wanted to keep it that way.

[jakob-muller]

avamhollis​:

.

    Ava had had a lifetime of perfecting the best expression to convince others she was innocent, that she should be pittied and not feared. This practice had turned them into an excellent actress. The same could not be said about Jakob, though it seemed like he knew, too. That face wasn’t convincing, though they’d admit it might be the knife against his throat that brought his credibility down.

    Speaking of which, the single droplet of blood stained the edge and Ava finally pulled it away from his skin. The weapon was easily discarded on his countertop, while Ava’s gaze remained on the small dent it had made on his skin. Thumb pressed gently against it and covered itself in the red droplet. “Clinical is boring,” they stated. “You should be passionate about your first kill. It should be personal.” They wondered how many times Jakob had imagined himself killing someone. And, in that, how many times the someone had been themselves.

    Ava looked thoughtfully at her stained thumb, before raising her hand and dragging it slowly against his lower lip. Face tilted in, as if they were telling him a secret. “You won’t be able to stop once you start. It’s addictive.” One last glance at his lips before shrugging. “And then you’ll be just like me.”

    Jakob’s eyes narrowed, drawn toward the warm thumb that had replaced the blade. Ava had always carried mystery like a second skin, but there were moments where he couldn’t help but feel disappointed with the surprise : that would have been anytime he disagreed with her. “Clinical is precise. No room for surprises,” he didn’t like those. He’d pretend to like them if necessary, but he hated them. He didn’t consider having a knife against his throat as much of a surprise though. That was to be expected considering the company.

    Pressing his mouth into a thin line, he then dragged his tongue along his lower lip, as if worried that Ava might take his blood before he could. It was his and she wouldn’t have it. “And that’s precisely why I won’t start,” once again, he looked at her with narrow eyes, although this time, it wasn’t long before a sharp smile made its way onto damp lips, predatory in all the ways. “We wouldn’t want me to become another one of those addicts, you know how much I despise them,” and he refused to become one of those. Then, considering she considered addicted to the kill, maybe Jakob just wanted to be insulting, who knew? Reaching over the counter to get his hand on a reusable bamboo “paper” towel, he pressed it to his neck, strolling out of her reach. “So much for letting me properly rest, Ava.” Tsking, he turned on his heels and pursed his lips. “We probably should avoid meeting again, with our groups fighting over territory.”

[jakob-muller]

intxication​:

“Polar Bears. I used to have a stuffed animal one as a kid. It was the only toy they let me have when they locked me away”. Mathias knew how much he wasn’t supposed to be hanging out Jakob. They were on two opposite sides, and eventually they would have to fight again. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to kill Jakob eventually, he just wanted to do it on his terms. He followed his friend through the petting zoo, stopping to pat the sheep’s head. “Do you know everything about all the animals here?”

Mathias was also hesitant to speak about his job with Jakob. There were things being planned, and it would be better if Jakob didn’t know about them until they happened. It was easier to ask for forgiveness than permission, right. “I’ve been fine. Just doing what I’m told. Are you okay? Do you have a cool scar?”. He gave the sheep one last pat then smiled, “Yeah, lead the way. Do you think we can feed the polar bears?”

.

The revelation felt heavy, personal, and the veterinarian shot the other a look, to see how he was doing. “Yeah?” Jakob had such a normal childhood compared to Mathias’.  Then, he’d never done something that would have gotten him locked away. The teachers were always a bit worried seeing as he was often happier sitting on a bench with a book than playing soccer with his classmates. Already, he’d decided that his friend would be getting another one of those bears in the mail sometimes soon. “In theory, I do,” but, and Mathias could only relate to that, reality was often widely different from theory. Reality was pure chaos, no matter the set of rules people inflicted themselves. “I don’t care for all of them. They mostly have me working with reptiles and birds,” which meant he could spend his morning with an alligator and the rest of his day with macaws. Every now and then, he’d get called to work with the mammals. Even if he had asked if he could get the birds as soon as it was possible, he liked change.

“Amen,” said the atheist.

He gave Mathias a shrug. Jakob found it hideous but it could perhaps remind Maureen of how she disappeared when he needed her by his side. Purpose was all this ugly thing needed to become tolerable. “I think you gave me a great reason not to be shirtless ever again, and I thank you for that.” He didn’t like that. People would strip near naked on the beach, exposing their disgusting bodies. Of course, he tried to avoid the beach as much as he could. Too much sand, and the water was too cold for his taste. Why someone would inflict this onto themselves, he wasn’t sure. “The doctor patched me up pretty good,” a pause, “look,” untucking his shirt, he lifted it just enough to let the other have a look at his work, then tucked it back in, without a wrinkle in sight. Surely, if he asked about it, it was too have a look at what he’d done, right?

“I think they might have already been fed, but a couple extra bites aren’t going to hurt them,” smiling back, he mentioned Mathias to walk beside him, taking them behind the bears’ enclosure. “Fun fact, they’re actually easily taught that we can just feed them,” it was perhaps a bit sad to turn hunters into beggars, but zoos weren’t precisely trying to do the same thing as mother nature.

[jakob-muller]

avamhollis​:

That’s not why they would never go further, not in Ava’s mind. Jakob could like having the upper hand, and Ava had more than once and with more than one person given that up, they’d let someone else take over because they knew they could claim power back if they needed it. The reason they would never work was because the only interesting thing about this was the chase. They got him. He tensed his throat against their knife, he answered their question. He betrayed Maureen by kissing them back. What else was there to gain from pushing him further now? Ava didn’t want a relationship with him, they didn’t even want to break him up with Blondie. Simply having them both keep secrets from one another, a secret which was them, that was enough to give them the high they were after.

   “You’re a drug dealer,” they stated, still not moving their knife. “Of course you kill people.” That wasn’t what he meant and that wasn’t what she’d asked, but it didn’t make it any less true. Granted, it wasn’t an honorable kill like the ones Ava carried out themselves.

    Hands around their throat, still ( or, perhaps, because of it ) they grinned widely. “Kinky,” they teased, as if the blade against his throat wasn’t exactly that, too. And then… “Do you put your hands around her neck, too?” Fine, maybe there were a few more buttons to push. What could they say, this was the most fun they’d had in days.

He smiled back at them, Adam’s apple scraping against the metal. The blade no longer felt so cold against his skin, comfortable and grounding. And of course, Jakob smiled. Sure, Ava had him precisely where they wanted him, but the opposite was just as true. Never one to care of what ifs, he’d still wondered what their deal was more than once, which certainly was a victory Ava could celebrate. “But I don’t mean to,” and his sulking expression could have convinced just about no one. He didn’t believe himself to be innocent, but honestly, people were the ones pulling the trigger on themselves, not him. Slobs and failures, not him.

“Hardly,” he glanced to the side, as if he were bored. “It’s clean, almost clinical,” he explained, returning his attention toward his deadly friend. “It leaves a mark, of course, but I don’t see myself smothering someone with a pillow,” but with his hands around their neck? Yes, he could picture it. He told himself he shouldn’t cross that line, and Ava should have told herself just that regarding his bedroom habits. “Oh fuck off, don’t be so obsessed with me,” he retorted, the blade drawing a drop of blood as he scoffed. “Ow.”

[jakob-muller]

maureenkeaton​:

“I’m sorry.” The words slipped out, only barely above a whisper, but she knew Jakob would be able to hear her. “I didn’t want you to worry,” except that maybe there had been a certain part of her that had craved that, given what he’d done to Zu. It wasn’t a feeling she was either used to or comfortable with, but it had still felt natural to take on - except that she knew that she couldn’t stay far away from him for too long. “I didn’t - I - I didn’t want you to be worried sick, but I mean, I’m alive and well, so can we please just forget about it?” Please please please she wanted to beg, but she knew that Jakob didn’t take too well to her acting that way.

“Okay.” She looked down at the floor, “but I want to. I really, really do.” Maureen loathed the idea of missing work, but she loathed the thought of having to live with Jakob being angry at her more (though she knew that Zu - and perhaps Ludo, too - would have said she should just give up on the relationship altogether). (Except that Jakob could be nice, he could be wonderfully kind and make her laugh and give her a sense of grounding few others could - she just wasn’t entirely sure how to reconcile that with the side of him that she’d heard about from her friend). “Thank you.” She nodded, watching as he exited and re-entered the room, as his eyes found their childhood mugs. Hers bore a faded Pooh and Piglet, surrounded by other friends of the Hundred Acre Wood, faded from washes and from when she’d absent-mindedly rub her fingers against it to warm them up. “I’ve been fine. I’d -” she swallowed, following him back out to where he’d set up the dishes, “would you like to go away for a weekend, sometime?”

I’m sorry. Looking down, Jakob spared Maureen the sight of his relief. I’m sorry meant he still had her, even if it also meant she had done something she shouldn’t, something he had not liked. “Perhaps the next time you wish for me not to worry, you ought to not disappear like that.” And then, what if something had happened to her? A seen wasn’t precisely proof of life. Jakob figured, however, that he would have heard from her old man if she had gone silent for more than 24h. The Keatons, always so practical.

Jakob shook his head. “I survived, didn’t I?” He had to thank good doctor Nora for that, and Mathias, for being not a terrible friend. His gaze fell to the dining table. All this being said, he still had no idea of why she hadn’t come home, of where she had been, and there was nothing he hated more than this: not knowing. But, if she didn’t want to tell him, he’d wait. Eventually, he knew it would come up. You didn’t vanish like that for no reason, not when you were Maureen Keaton.

“That sounds lovely, but I’ll have work to catch up on. I had to take a leave, and I’ll have to wait til September for my oral exam now.” Things could have been a lot worse, but he felt as if his bitterness was justified. Although he always had to suffer a dent or two in his plans, delaying them for months was, he supposed, not the worst thing that could happen to him. Maureen was back, and he’d eventually be done with his doctorate, possibly move on to a new job with the Cartel and the Zoo. That was all positive news.

Tentatively, he’d moved closer to the blonde, without a word, but with a world of sadness in his eyes. He wasn’t sure if this was the way to go here, but the least he could do after getting so upset was to give her a hug, right? All was not precisely forgotten, but could he realistically be crossed with her? His arms wrapped around her shoulders, he let his chin rest on her head. “Don’t do that again, alright?”

[jakob-muller]

intxication​:

jakob-muller​:

-

Mathias was fucking thrilled to be at a zoo. It was an experience that he missed out as a child. They weren’t really keen on taking convicts on field trips to the zoo. So when Mathias had harmlessly mentioned it to Jakob, there seemed to be a fire lit under his friend’s ass. Mathias wasn’t going to say no to a free tour too. 

“Uh, are there polar bears? I like those”. It took a lot to not just rattle off all the places he wanted to go to now that they were there. “I don’t know what animals they have at zoos normally”.

“Polar bears?” With a tilt of his head and an endeared look on his face, Jakob led the way. “I hope you listened to me and put on proper shoes,” not bothering to look down and take a look, he took his magnetic key to the lock, taking them across the petting zoo. “It’s a little short cut,” he explained, taking a moment to check on the sheep. “She’s meant to lamb in a week or so,” sitting down on the floor, he got a feel of the animal’s lower abdomen, and took a look up at his friend.

“So, how have you been doing?” It was best to refrain from asking him too much about his job these days. They probably shouldn’t have been meeting anymore, but Jakob just had to befriend Mathias,  right? “I can’t say we have pandas... yet, but other than that, I think we should have all the land animals you want to see,” letting go of the animal, the young veterinarian jumped to his feet and mentioned Mathias to follow. “Let’s go see those bears, alright?”

[jakob-muller]

@intxication​ Where: The Central Park Zoo

“This way please,” the word dripped with faint mockery. When did Jakob ever say please and thank you? Looking over his shoulder, he led his friend through the employee’s entrance. Since the place was officially closed for the public, it was the only remaining way in and out now, although he had no doubt Mathias would have had no trouble finding another way in.

“Where do you want to get started?” Jakob who held absolutely no grudges against him for the night, had been all too happy to offer him a tour from the moment he heard the other had never been to a zoo in his entire life. Now Jakob couldn’t promise he would be the best tour guide, but it would be a good time. “And yes we can get into some enclosures,” he promised.

[jakob-muller]

isabelvasquez​:

starter for anyone outside of cancun

“There’s a fight that’s going to break out.” she called out to the person nearby, bringing a smoke to her lips before pointing out the small group a little bit away. “What’s your guess? I think that the big guy started dancing with the other girl and then the smaller guy is actually her boyfriend. I think the smaller guy will win. Big guys often look threatening but they’re too used to winning. Wanna make a bet?”

“You think?” Jakob didn’t question her cognitive abilities, but rather the veracity of her words. “What is a known fact, is that whatever the outcome of the fight is, they’re gonna split anytime soon,” because people liked to believe they could trust their partner, whatever that meant. Jakob only had to trust Maureen wouldn’t kill him in his sleep, which was more than enough. He wondered what trust Maureen put in him in return. It probably was a lot more deeper/superficial, depending on the point of view. “Nah. Big guys might be used to win, physics is still very much a thing, as is logic,” he shook his head.

[jakob-muller]

castillo-freddie​:

   An overbearing scent of cigar smoke surrounded Fernando as he stood just outside the Cancun, either from the one coming that he currently held between his fingers. Or the butts of cigars and cigarettes that littered the ground in the area from other smokers.  Cancun was normally a lively place. But he could only tolerate listening to drunken idiots controlling the music selection inside for so long. When it got to the point where he was fantasizing about all the different ways he could break some idiot’s fingers that had spilled a drink on him. He executed that rare bit of self-control he possessed and went out.   Taking one last pull from his thick cigar, before heading back inside. The blaring notes of some song he was unfamiliar with now assaulted his ears. He made a mental note not to come back on karaoke night.  As he meandered his way to the bar signaling for a bartender. He spoke to the person next to him:   “I’m willing to give you twenty bucks if you just get up and queue a different song,” looking off in the direction of those who stood near the DJ, . “if I listen to one more chorus before I’m heavily intoxicated,  violence will ensue.”

  "You don’t want to trust me with picking music,” this was something anyone who knew him enough could agree on. The boy was pretentious, and you were at risk of being stuck listening to indie German synth-pop . You wouldn’t have a bad time, as Jakob was assured of having excellent taste in terms of everything he touched, but who wanted to listen to that when going to the club? Catch him on a bad night, and he’d have Eleonor Rigby bring the mood down instead. But hey, at least that was mainstream. 

Tonight wasn’t a bad night, but he was talking to his boss, and both choices would upset the man, who looked like he did not need more edge. “But if you have ideas... I’ll be happy to use my legs for free,” he didn’t need tips to survive. With what the Cartel paid him, he had enough to live comfortably, but soon, he’d have a full time job to juggle with. “Obviously we don’t have to do this tonight, but I was hoping to have a chat sometimes soon. I have my thesis presentation soon and... well you know, I’ll be busier...”

[jakob-muller]

maureenkeaton​:

She kept glancing over to him, unsure of exactly what to do, how to move around him. She’d never been nervous around him before - barring when she’d first met him, but the nerves then had been the result of finding him almost unbearably beautiful rather than due to finding out what he was capable of.

“Why do you need to know where I was?” She bit her lip. “Sorry - I - I was safe. With a friend.” She drummed her fingers against her thigh. “I’ve stayed with friends before - not since I moved into our - your apartment,” she corrected herself, hating herself for it but perhaps it was necessary right now - the last thing she wanted was to make him more frustrated with her than he already had to be. She shouldn’t have ignored all of his texts, but she knew that if she’d even responded to one, more would follow, and she’d needed breathing space. Zu had provided that. Zu had provided that and she felt as though she was committing certain level of betrayal, standing where she was now.

“I’m here now - I - I can take off work, stay and watch over you.” She stiffened slightly as he came toward the kitchen, “if you want. I - whatever you want.” She sighed, “I got chana masala, jeera aloo, and a number of other things. I couldn’t decide what would be best so I might have gone overboard, but then we can have leftovers, which is good, even though you know I never mind cooking.” She bit down on her lip, reminding herself, for a moment, to take a deep breath. “I hope the choices are good with you.”

.

“I don’t know, Maureen,” his jaw clenched, and he pointed to his face as he went on, “maybe because I ended up like that ?” Part of Jakob was glad that he no longer had to concern himself with the possibility of something happening to her because of her father, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t worried at all for her. She had become important to him and he didn’t want to replace her. It surprised him, sometimes, how much he liked having her around. Most people he found insufferable depending on the dosage. “I was worried sick,” not exactly, but it ate him alive, not knowing where she was, what she was doing, who she was spending her days with, and he resented her for putting her through this. It was not like her, and he could tell she was acting differently than she usually did, even now.

“You don’t have to,” he retorted, looking away from her, as if to dismiss her offer. Jakob could have just said yes, but she’d gotten him upset, and now she’d have to endure some of his cruel little games, just like the rest of them. Sure, her whatever you want, was music to his ears, but there was something off about her, and he preferred caution to hurry. “I’ll set the table,” was he capable of anything other than stern comments anyway? Rubbing at his neck, Jakob turned his back on her, facing the cupboards. Without a word, he picked up white plates which he took to the table, before returning to his kitchen to get water glasses out, eyes deliberately lingering on her mug sitting beside his one the shelf. Both items had followed the pair since childhood. His own was covered with characters from the Jungle Book, faded out by years of ending up in a dish washer. Clearing his throat, he picked up glasses on the shelf below, and headed back to the dinner table. “How have you been?”

[jakob-muller]

avamhollis​:

   A sensation rushed over their entire body – it wasn’t lust and it wasn’t thirst for blood, it more closely resembled pride. That he had understood the situation and hadn’t tried to impose his own rules upon them; that he was sharp enough to note that the person with the knife was calling the shots. He hadn’t moved while they demonstrated, in detail, how they would put him out of his misery, and he had moved when they kissed him. Jakob had almost exclusively made a point to fight them on everything, but he didn’t now, and that counted for something.

    His hand drew a similar motion to theirs, against her neck this time, and they smirked. And yet, regardless of how, if he’d been anyone else, Ava would have discarded the knife by now and continued down the obvious path, they instead used their recently free hand to press an open palm against his chest and shove him against the counter. His scar would likely ache and his spine wouldn’t thank him, either, but Ava didn’t care. They were in control, now, their knife still taunting the fine line between life and death by resting against his throat.

    “I asked you a question,” they stated. Yes, they had personally silenced him right after, but the question had been posed nonetheless. “How would you like to go?” they repeated. What was it that he had said, that he didn’t believe they’d been sent there to finish him off? They hadn’t, but nothing in their tone reflected that. Gaze fell upon his lips once more. If they’d wanted to, they could have poisoned him, and then no one would have traced it back to her. A different thought popped into their head then – dangerous, as only spontaneous interrogations could be. “… And how would you kill me?” Surely he’d thought about it before.

   Jakob had to give Ava this much : they were unpredictable. This was precisely the reason why he would not allow whatever was happening here to go any further. His thirst of control was too grand for the young man to let her in. If he appreciated Ava more than he would ever voice, Jakob knew he could never fully trust them. Maureen was a lot easier to deal with.

The counter digging in his back pulled him out of his calculations, and the Cartel drug dealer caught himself throwing her for once, a warning look. Brows furrowing slightly, his eyes grew dark, not with desire but anger this time. Scowling, he raised his chin, his neck tensing against the edge of Ava’s knife, skin grazing along it. “This should be like asking a woman’s age...” Because he didn’t want to go violently. He enjoyed the silence, he enjoyed winning, far too much. “At home,” he finally said, after a moment of his beloved silence. “Outliving them all,” smiling to himself, he figured now would be a great time to put him out of his misery. Instead, came another question. Looking down, Jakob searched for Ava’s eyes and gave her one of his crooked smiles. “I don’t kill people,” he knew he could. This frightened him to no end. Could you stop once you started? He didn’t particularly have a tendency for addiction. Quite the contrary... But maybe hadn’t he found yet what made him tick...

“But,” because there was a knife to his throat, and he preferred to keep Ava on their toes only for so long. “You must have caught I went for your throat,” the death had the satisfaction of being painful, of forcing you to look at your murderer but also of being absolutely clean. He wouldn’t call it clinical, but Jakob knew more than enough about anatomy to make it swift and clean. “There are worst ways to go than with my hands around your neck,” he mused.

[jakob-muller]

lolavillarin​:

—

“I’d climb up your window.” It’s a big maybe — though no dispute that it’d be quite cinematic, if anything.

Jakob winces, and Lola does too. Like it stung her just the same. “I’m very nice,” she tells him, matter-of-fact. It’s only sometimes true. Still, she moves to place the food on any flat surface; if only so she can stand a little straighter. It’s then, that she starts to feel a little useless. Food delivered, presence known, but nothing else she can offer beyond that. He’d already seen Ava for a nurse, and Maureen had likely already provided Jakob with all remaining needs. 

Instead of struggling through an answer herself, Lola shifts on her feet, and decides to simply ask instead: “What can I do?” 

—

“Straight out of a teen movie,” he rolled his eyes, but the hints of an amused smile tugged on his lips.

Standing there, he looked at her. Jakob was stuck between tired, sedated, in pain and terribly bored. Although he did not consider himself to be addicted to the outdoors (he was more than fine staying home and talking to no one),  being stuck in those walls for days didn’t do him any good either. “I wouldn’t mind if you stuck around a little actually,” he tried to sound detached. Jakob was perhaps sociable enough, he kept most people at a good distance. Then he’d grown fond of Phoenix, and realized he didn’t hate having Mathias around (even now that he stabbed him). The very same could be told of Ava, and of Lola. One more of those and people would find out he didn’t hate the company of humans as much as he claimed. “What’s in the bag?” He pointed at the food on the counter, eyebrows raising as he walked over to the dinning table.

[jakob-muller]

intxication​:

Stabbing a friend wasn’t supporsed to be difficult for him. Mathias was certain he would have to do it multiple times in his lifetime just based off the choices he had made so far. Not killing people also wasn’t hard for him. He knew how keep someone alive as much as he knew how to kill someone. He could nonfatally stab Jakob without a second thought, yet when he raised his hand to do so, it trembled.

“I think my dad would be angry if I joined your side. Then I’d have to fight him, and as exciting as that sounds, I really don’t wanna do that right now”. For once he didn’t want to fight or cause violence. He just wanted to go home and take a nap. He frowned at his friend, “We’ll just put a bandaid on it or something, I think you’ll be fine. Also, I didn’t eat anything, and I’m hungry now. You can borrow my shirt if you want”.

It was his own way of asking for normalcy (or something close to it). Yeah, Jaokb would be bleeding and in pain, but they were going to hang out and not have knives to each other’s necks. That was honestly a win to Mathias. He waited for Jakob to point out the good spot, then placed his knife against it. “Do you want me to do it fast or slow? Don’t flinch or anything, mt hand might slip”.

“Matthias, we can’t go get dinner.” Because just like someone might see that Mathias let him get away, someone might see that too. “Just meet me at my place later, alright? You...” Mathias would know how to get in without the key, should Jakob run a bit late. Getting stitches wasn’t going to be long, but who knew? “We survive tonight, and we meet there.” The words were spoken like a promise, as they both knew Jakob, although he could usually not be trusted, was a man of his word to those who mattered to him.

“Well, medically speaking I’d advise you take it slow,” because he’d never liked rushing through a medical procedure. The added stress, although he learned to deal with it, was never something he looked for. “I’d rather it happened fast, but I’d also rather live,” reaching out to put his hand over his friend’s wrist, looking to an hypothetical bystander as if he attempted to get him away, he looked him in the eyes and then down at his stomach. His voice shaking with anticipation, anxiety, he spoke low: “You got this Matthias. I trust you,” and with those words, he let go of his wrist, and he waited.

[jakob-muller]

lolavillarin​:

@jakob-muller​

All the way up to Jakob’s place, Lola tells herself it’s a trip out of pity — or ye olde urge to annoy, if you will. Definitely not because there might be a slight concern for the prick’s well-being, with a looming fear for the worst. In the eventuality of death he’d piss in her grave, and she’d apply lipstick on his open-casket corpse — but their speeches would ring more honest than most. 

It’s the hair-pin trick that does it, not a knock on the door. Lola waltzes into his apartment that way, a box of take-out so big it might upset her axis of balance, and an outfit straight out of Carmen Sandiego’s book. 

“Ja-ay!” She calls in a sing-song voice, searching for him. “I have food. Ava said you looked like shit, so I brought a hat too.” Currently, on her very own head. “D’you want me t—” Then, she finds him. Like shit, is right. “Oh, God.” 

“Remind me to change my fucking locks,” a Do not Enter sign on an unlocked door, at that point, might have been more useful. He didn’t care if his landlord yelled at him for it, but those were obviously absolute crap. He appears in the door way, a white bandage over his nose, and with the exact same amounts of cuts and bruises he had when Ava visited him, and then threatened him with a knife, and then kissed him. Who knew it added to his insufferable charm? “You should see the other guy,” the old song makes him laugh, and wince. Right, moving his face and his stomach physically hurt. Great. “That’s... nice, Lola, by the way.”

[jakob-muller]

maureenkeaton​:

After her meeting with Zu, she hadn’t wanted to look Jakob in the face. So she hadn’t - she hadn’t returned back to their apartment and had ignored each and every text he’d sent her. She was alive, he’d know if she wasn’t, but talking to him simply wasn’t an option right then. There was, admittedly, a certain part of her who felt scared that he was capable of that sort of violence, even if he’d never come close to trying to hurt her. Even if he’d been nothing but good to her, Zu’s words had gotten to her more than she might have wished for them to.

However, there was only so much time that she could keep herself away from him - and she did love him, even if she loathed some of what he had done, and so finally, she decided to make her way back to his - their - apartment. She only hoped he hadn’t decided to change the locks on her. Or found someone else to come and live there.

“I - hi.” She placed the take out bags on the kitchen counter. “Got tied up in something.” She said, still hesitant, still unsure. She wanted to kick herself for it, for the way she walked over to him and gave him the slightest of kisses on his lips before she turned away again and made her way back over to the kitchen, to start unpacking the takeout, grabbing some plates and bowls from his - their cupboards. “I got Indian food - wasn’t sure what there would be to cook here, so I figured that was a safe choice. Something we both like.”

She bit her lip. “Are - how are you?” Are you okay? was what she wanted to ask, what every ounce of her being begged her to ask, but what she couldn’t bring herself to ask. Even though the black eye and cuts told her the answer themselves. It didn’t take much detective work to figure that out. “Do you want me to serve for the both of us or would you like to come and pick for yourself?”

.

“Hi...” Something about this was just off. She had been gone for days, not a text, not a call, nothing but a little tick underneath his messages him to let him know that she’d seen his question, and that she had chosen not to reply.

Jakob watched her unpack the contents of her paper bag on the counter, a mad glint in the eye. For a moment, he wondered if, quite simply, she wasn't just making fun of him, with her simpering look and her natural good manners. Of course, she wouldn’t arrive empty handed, but flowers would have been weird. Food was the obvious choice. A tiny, minuscule part of him wanted to approach her and swipe those things off of his kitchen counter, make it all smash against the wall and fall to the floor, clattering, but Jakob knew her and any amount of violence would cause her to shut off and he wanted an explanation more than he needed to externalize his anger. “Maureen, where...” He let her speak, and shook his head as she asked. What did she think? Bruises and cuts weren’t exactly his go-to look. Battered puppy really wasn’t his aesthetic, no. She knew him to be certainly not polished, but Jakob knew that appearances were too important to be neglected, and this, his current appearance was just fucking shameful. “Maureen, where have you been?” He stopped himself from pinching the bridge of his nose, and instead looked directly at her. “I really could have used having you around.” Looking down, he moved, at last, closer to the kitchen. Lovely, sweet Maureen had abandoned him, and he wanted to know why.