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[jalbertsmith]

SITTING SMUG Since my introduction the other day, I've thought a bit more about this here blog and come to the following conclusion. Writing something every single F#%€ING day is bloody torture. I'm glad I did it whilst backpacking, but I swear to god there isn't much that would convince me to do that again any time soon (writing every day I mean, I'd be tempted by backpacking(of course)). Soooo, I think I'll settle for producing something twice a week and see how that goes. In the last couple of days, I've managed to; • Insure the dog • Adjust the dogs kennel Club paperwork, his name is something ridiculous like Quajalosh Hagar, he's named after a warrior? • Score a Brighton ticket for the weekend • Receive a gigantic corner sofa for free • Go for a pub dinner with friends • Alongside other things The ultimate achievement however, was trimming Luger's pubes.. he'd somehow grown them out over night, which left him entirely defenceless to Lady Luck when it came to having a tinkle. As fortune would have it, he's not particularly lucky and the look on his face every time he pissed on his leg or his belly was altogether priceless... Every time I saw him stop for a drink, it was like watching the poor bugger roll a dice on his last few pennies. We both knew what the outcome would be, but he couldn't help it. Unfortunately for me, I wasn't particularly lucky on this occasion either, as I was brought up with a conscience and set to retrieving his dignity that very evening. I wish I had a picture of the bewildered expression on his face. Looking to me for the answers.. only to find I'm in stitches laughing at him. After his new haircut, he was treated to an extra large dinner followed by a cuddle on the sofa. Shortly afterwards, we went out for a test drive and normality had been restored. Job done.

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BACK AFTER BACKPACKING More photos.

[jalbertsmith]

BACK AFTER BACKPACKING

A little over three months ago, I signed off my backpacking blog upon returning home. Since then an awful lot has changed and time definitely seems to move faster than it did for the six and a half months, that I spent larking around with my mate.

Here’s a list of what’s happened so far during the start of my “next trip”;

* Passed my motorbike CBT * Bought a Doggo, his name is Luger / Lugie / Ragsy and he’s a German Wirehaired Pointer (he always looks like S#%& which i think is hilarious) * The arrival of a much loved new family member and the departure of an inspirational other * Bought a skateboard * Bagged myself a house all to myself * Had the bathroom light break at least three times * Had seven shades kicked out of me by Budapest on a lads holiday.. 1-0 to Budapest * And much more..

I could go on but I’ll assume by now that you get the idea, it’s been quite busy.

That said, despite being busy, I’m not entirely sure that I’ve been making altogether good use of my time. A busy fool of sorts. I’ve definitely slipped back into a few habits that I thought I’d mostly killed off, like playing computer games too often and being a bit of a “ghost” for example.

Soooooo, here we are, starting up the blog again and purposefully stitching myself up. If I really am as “busy” as I think I am, surely I won’t have any trouble finding things to write about.

[jalbertsmith]

KATHMANDU NEPAL TO HOME ENGLAND Today I woke up, got myself showered and packed the last few bits and pieces into my backpacks. Just the same way I have been, with a couple of exceptions due to a few new purchases, for the last six and a half months. That's a bloody long time I might add.. The difference on this occasion however, is that instead of setting off for somewhere new, I was going home. During the course of our trip, Howard and I have had the pleasure of meeting a variety of absolute heroes, from countless different places and walks of life. Oddly enough despite all those differences, a popular topic would always be; "How long have you got left of your trip", followed by "How do you feel about going home?"... There's definitely been a mixture of responses but I think for the most part, people always say that they're dreading going home for one reason or another. For the first three or four months I probably said something along the same lines. However that now couldn't be further from the truth and I personally can't wait. It would be criminal not to confess that I've missed home an awful lot at points (one time in particular whilst traveling Vietnam springs to mind). But I'd definitely be lying all the same if I said that was the main reason I'm looking forward to going home. (Sorry guys, I do love you really, honest!) Having jumped out of planes and off of bridges, trekked through rainforests, tried my hand at diving, received a tattoo and been on a motorbike road trip to name just a few. I can't wait to see what's next in store for me, as I'd never anticipated doing any of those things as I boarded that first flight to Bangkok. Perhaps now instead of being on the last flight of my trip, I'm on the first flight of the next one. Who knows, maybe I'll carry on with the sarcastic blog too. Just don't quote me on that. WANDERLUST, JAZZ, WOOF.

[jalbertsmith]

KATHMANDU LAST DAY, WHOLE TRIP LAST DAY Sleeping just as badly as the night before and remembering my thoughts about being a zombie extra. I could't help but hear the words "previously on AMC's The Waking Dead", as I lay there looking just as shell shocked as I had done 24 hours ago. Repeating the taxi process to the airport etc etc , we boarded the plane and left the runway. The flight rewarded us with some awesome views of the city and surrounding valley, but unfortunately no Everest once again due to cloud cover. Arriving back at the hotel, we agreed to sleep a little to avoid feeling too horrendous, before heading out one last time. Whilst walking around Thamel, we both bought a few extra little bits and pieces whilst pretending to be interested in an awful lot. It's much more fun that way. With even more winnings and time slipping away from us, we headed back to the hotel to pack up some more of our things. For dinner we went to a really cool restaurant and ordered loads of small bits whilst having a few beers. We takes mostly about the best bits and how baffled we were that it had suddenly come to and end. We did all this to the sound of Fat Freddy's Drop for the most part, the DJ was an absolute geeeeeezer.

[jalbertsmith]

KATHMANDU EVEREST FLIGHT ATTEMPT For god knows what reason, I just couldn't get to sleep and arose at 4:00am looking like an extra for The Walking Dead. Staggering out of the lift, across the hall and out into the road. We spotted a defenceless taxi driver and negotiated a lift to the airport. Maaan I love the taxi's here, they remind me of my beautiful old Peugeot 106 that nailed its duties as a first car. The adopted driving style by all of the drivers also reminds me of it further still. Particularly pushing my luck and red lining it whilst maintaining a perfect 2mph under the speed limit. All the way home from wherever I was to beat the 11:00PM cut off on my tracker. Arriving at the airport in expert time and wading our way through customs, we made it onto the run way and just outside the plane. Whilst sitting on the bus and eavesdropping on various conversations, it became apparent that the last two days hadn't seen a successful flight. Unfortunately it was the exact same story for us. Arranging to repeat the process and try again the following day, we returned to the hotel and went back to bed. Waking up some time later, we spent most of the day just mooching about and treated ourselves to some insanely good room service. Followed by another early night in anticipation for the second 4:00am start.

[jalbertsmith]

KATHMANDU SHOP SHOP SHOP Today we went out for lunch and drew up a game plan. The entire trip we've been holding off on buying any souvenir type stuff for no particular reason other than the hassle of lugging it around. With Kathmandu being our last destination and only having to pack our bags once more, it was time to open the flood gates and buy some STUFF. Lunch was bootylicious and polished off within minutes, leaving us with plenty of time to figuring out precisely what "STUFF" it was that we wanted to buy. Personally, as I'm a sucker for nice jumpers, woolly warm Yak-tastic goodness was at the top of my list. Alongside some sort of hat that had something to do with Nepal specifically. No doubt that would be Yak-tastic too! Against all odds, as we wandered around the crystal maze that is Kathmandu and perhaps Thamel in particular. I found the perfect jumper, not once.., but twice. I'm not sure what those odds are but I'm confident it's nothing short of a miracle. Bonus points were also scored in finding a woolly hat with the "Buddha eyes" that you see everywhere here. I'm fairly certain the symbol represents peace but don't quote me on that. Either way I've got a hat with it on, oooshhh. Optic for a more summary e.... selection, Howard bagged himself six items. Comprised of jazz pants and shorts galore, all of exquisite quality and overall.. jazzyness. Returning once more to our hotel, we admired our winnings and retired for an early night. We needed to be up at 4:00am the following morning, in order to be ready at the airport for our Everest flight.

[jalbertsmith]

POKHARA TO KATHMANDU Today we were up and ready to go in good time. Heading down to the reception, we checked out and had to tell the lady how much we owed as she didn't have a clue. It's a good job we're such a nice couple of geezers. Paying just 800npr for the entire drive from Pokhara to Kathmandu, we jumped on the bus and laughed at how ridiculous it was. We'd previously had to pay the same just to get from the airport to our hotel in Thamel... Reaching our destination a long wait after the incredibly ambitious arrival time, we haggled down the price of a taxi and set off to our last hotel. It's funny to think that during the course of this trip we've a myriad of first times. Only now we are encountering a lot of lasts instead. For the time being at least anyway. *It just came up in conversation and I realised that it didn't feature in the blog. Howard some how managed to score himself a leech during our jungle trek in Chitwan and I didn't get a sausage. I'm incredibly bitter about it and don't like to talk about it. Howard gets to grow a beard, stamp on snakes and wrestle with leeches. While I get sporadic bum fluff and can't decide between mango and pineapple juice.* We spent most of the day chilling out and booked our Everest experience flight, before heading out to dinner at a swanky Indian restaurant. The food was insanely good.

[jalbertsmith]

POKHARA LAST DAY Starting the day by requesting to stay one last night, our lucky streak ended and we had to move from the stadium of light to a much smaller venue / room. Having returned to the reality of what our current budget or lack there of affords, we left our bags and mooched on into town for lunch. Deciding to visit once more, the holy grail that we'd found on the first day, we consumed more of the coffee goodness and proceeded to a beer garden. The sun was shining again and stole podium place over watching the Lions play as we decided to sit outside and soak up the rays. The hoard of Australians and Kiwi's rallied together around the television had nothing to do with the decision making process of course. Returning to the hotel as the sun wandered off. We booked ourselves a transfer bus to Kathmandu in the morning, with plenty of crossed fingers that it wouldn't be a repeat of the previous 15 hour journey. Conscious of an early start in the morning, we revisited the sports bar for a bit to watch Djokovic play before attempting to get a relatively early night. Shortly after getting back, the heavens opened x 1,000 and I've never experienced a storm like it. The door and window frames would rattle every time there was thunder.

[jalbertsmith]

POKHARA LAKE VIEW Today we went and sat by the lake for as long as the sun would keep our company. It was definitely a welcome change of pace from the incessant downpour. Im perfectly aware of course that everybody's got their jobs to do, even the sodding weather.. and It is rainy season after all. But deary me it was nice. With the smog approaching from the fires of Mordor, Im sure we wouldn't have minded if the sun had lingered a little longer. It was enough however and left spirits high as we returned to the hotel to dodge the rain and watch a bit of Wimbledon of all things. As well as make yet another failed attempt at starting to read "Persuasion". With a guilty sense of joy, we spotted in Pokhara of all places, a bastarding KFC on the walk back. Saluting the colonel as is custom when making eye contact with his smug, dusty old grin, our fait was sealed and we ended up having dinner there. Just as he knew we would. I'm not proud of myself.

[jalbertsmith]

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GAY TEA ON TAP I'm not entirely sure we've counted as backpackers the last couple of days.

[jalbertsmith]

POKHARA MEMORY LOSS I have no idea what happened today... (besides the rain that is).. I think I spent some time on the phone to the bank and looked at motorbikes for a bit. Unless of course that was the day after which it very well could have been. If something bad had happened, I would undoubtedly have remember it. Seeing as I can't remember a bloody thing, it theoretically must have been a real show stopper.

[jalbertsmith]

POKHARA PLEASE ....stop raining Today was our first day in Pokhara, but not only that... it was our first late start in two or three days!! You can imagine how badly we needed it, although I suggest you don't as it isn't pretty. *Before I continue, I think it's only fair to the masses that read my sarcastic drivel, that I make a confession. Not only did I forget to make any notes on my entire time spent in Pokhara, but I very nearly persuaded myself to smash all four days into one badly written blog. With only three days to go, I think that would most definitely be the definition of failing at the last hurdle. Depending on how well my memory serves me however, there's a good chance I'll wish I had dived face first into said hurdle and settled for dog memes instead.* Having slept in and packed our things once more, we ventured down to the reception in order to check into the appropriate room. To our disbelief, they said we could keep the penthouse bad boy apartment for no additional charge until somebody booked it. Scampering gleefully back up the stairs, we dropped off all of our filthy bags and assumed our routine search for a coffee. After delicate scrutiny on google, Howard headhunted a cafe in particular and it didn't take us long to find it. WOOOFFF what a choice it was too! We both decided to have the local coffee and mercy me it was good, despite being much cheaper for god knows what reason. With an already unquenchable thirst for more, I ordered another one before I'd finished the first as did Howard ("golden brown texture like" etc etc), alongside a wild boar chilli. Our drinks came out in a flash, closely followed by lunch which tasted incredible. Whilst we ate and drank like kings, the weather crept in as predicted with the clear intention of sticking around. Our hands some what forced, we bought a box of local green tea and retired to our villa to chill. Not forgetting that we still needed to dry our wet safari clothes / shoes. Against all odds, we got there in the end and the connys are back in service. Much later on with little if any change to the weather, we mooched back down the road to a reggae bar for dinner. Followed by beers and shisha until closing.

[jalbertsmith]

CHITWAN TO POKHARA Today we started early again and had a last supper / breakfast with YY. I gave him a filthy tip (some money) which I probably couldn't afford to have done. But he deserved every bit of it. Insisting on making sure that the transfer bus was satisfactory for his new friends, YY then came with us to the depot. An added bonus was that we got to have another ride in their decommissioned / clapped out safari bus, which they jokingly call a BMW. Saying our goodbyes and getting settled on the bus, we sat there for some time before getting going. This was no trouble however as we had the whole day ahead of us, with just a short four hour drive. In the next village, we stopped to pick up more people and drop off a few others in various places. Repeating this process in every town that we went through. Howard and I got yet another opportunity to admire parts of Nepal which we might not have seen, had we only been here for a week. It's funny how some things work out. In the second or third town that we passed through, we picked up an elderly gentleman who shuffled onto the bus and sat on the row behind us. At frequent intervals, he would cough and then spit whatever goop he'd brought up out of the window. Each and every time it created a sound that I can only compare to the noise of somebody trying to slurp the very last frothy dregs of a milk shake, through a curly straw. He stayed with us the whole way to Pokhara. Having made good progress, everything came to a standstill as we ventured into the mountains. Plenty of heavy rain had began to cause numerous landslides which would block large parts of the already windy road. The worst one which we didn't actually see happen but watched being cleared afterwards, had us sat in the same spot for four hours. The whole drive from Chitwan to Pokhara was only supposed to take four hours. In the end, the short bus journey took 15 hours in total with us averaging a speed of something like 3.7 mph. Still it's better to be late and get there, than never get there at all. Finally making it to the hotel having shared a taxi with some locals that we'd met on the bus, we attempted to check in. They'd sold our room despite us booking it and had no choice but to upgrade us to the penthouse apartment. Ironically Howard and I had both looked at it and laughed at the idea of booking it. It didn't take us long to trash the place, by unpacking all of our wet clothes from the day before and turning the room into a laundrette.

[jalbertsmith]

PART 2 CHITWAN JUNGLE JUNGLE JUNGLE Returning to the hotel for lunch and the priceless company of the boss man that is, Mr Yes Yes..., Howard and I chilled for a bit and told each other about the trek / canoe ride that we'd both just been on. We couldn't believe that the whole lot had only cost us £50 before remembering that we still had the Jeep safari, which was included in the price! Whilst we finished our lunch, we also arranged a bus transfer to Pokhara for tomorrow. Catching a lift courtesy of YY to the canoe place once more, we crossed straight over the river this time around, instead of proceeding down it. In the distance as we made the crossing, we could see a wild elephant splashing about in the river. Just a short walk from the river bank into the jungle, we found a makeshift car park for all of the safari vehicles and waited whilst our chariot was prepared. Like true Englishman and gentlemanly as ever, we let everybody else onto the Jeep to get seated first.., which I'm sure went unnoticed. Good karma did however and we bagged ourselves two seats right at the front which the guide folded down just for us. Wheyoooooooooo how do you like those apples!!!!!!! Winner winner chicken dinner!!!! WOOOOF! During the course of the four or five hour tour, this is what we saw; * More deer * Another type of deer * Another type of deer again * Monitor Lizards, which the guide would announce every single time with the simple statement "one more lizard" * Monkeys * 3 Wild rhinos, 2 of which were also paddling in the water and twitched their ears whenever we made a noise. A lot like dogs when they know your asking a question * A baby rhino * Loads of different birds * Wild boars * Crocodiles Precisely half way through the safari the rain returned, this time doubling its efforts. With no roof to our jeep, the driver quickly improvised and threw out of his window and onto the roof in front of us, a giant tarp. We rolled it out enough to cover us all from the worst of it and held it up so that we could still see. It did the trick more or less but we somehow still got drenched to the bone. Once you've reached that point, it's actually not so bad as you know you can't possibly get any more wet than you already are. Thus just like before, we didn't really mind. Whilst on the safari, we also stopped at a crocodile breeding centre hidden deep in the jungle. There are two species of crocodile here in Nepal, both of which are apparently endangered. The first which are called Mugger, will eat animals and people given the opportunity. An appropriate name for a chancer that will mugg you of your life if you ask me. None the less, It's still sad (sort of) that they're endangered and hopefully that will rectify itself. The second who's name escapes me, ironically were the one that the centre was dedicated to. They eat only fish and have an incredibly long nose / mouth. Although they too look like prehistoric weapons of mass murder and destruction, they're pescatarian nature awards points in my book. Like most people I imagine, I'd rather not be eaten by a wild animal if I can avoid it (Just to clarify, being had for dinner by a captive animal is just as bad.. when it comes to eating people there's no discrimination here). Nor by a person for that matter... bloody hell alex... Returning to the hotel having seen everything except a tiger and a bear, we both felt pretty lucky. Especially when you consider that we couldn't have chosen a worse time of year to do it. The last batch of safari tours is in actual fact tomorrow, before it stops for the next three months. How jammy are we! Returning to the hotel, we got ourselves showered etc and were treated to a special Nepali dinner. Courtesy of Mr Yes Yes, what a guy! Afterwards, we returned to our room for yet another early night as we start tomorrow at 6:00 am this time around.

[jalbertsmith]

PART 1 CHITWAN JUNGLE JUNGLE JUNGLE This morning we were up with a start as the manager (let's call him Mr Yes Yes or YY for short) came knocking at our door. YY told us that a wild rhino was paddling in the river just across from us and sure enough it was. What a start to the day. Standing in our pants and still half asleep, Howard and I admired the rhino for quite some time in the company of YY. Getting showered and dressed in neutral colours as requested, we had breakfast whilst watching the rhino who showed no intention of moving any time soon. Taking a break from quite openly spying on him, I also spotted a crocodile who must have heard me and changed his hiding position almost instantly. Without question it was going to be a good day. Meeting with one of our guides at the hotel, we sauntered through the village and out the other side to where the canoes were. He introduced us to the second guide and we promptly ventured out onto the river to start our adventure. Paddling back along the length of the village, we got to take a much closer look at our horny friend. Although appearing very relaxed whilst sitting in the river with his suit of armour on, he still wasn't best pleased with us watching him and disappeared off into the long grass. In vain, I tried to tell him "don't go in the long grass" but it was too late...presumably the raptors have him now. Along the way down the river, with the help of binoculars which belonged to the guides. We saw a female rhino, a buzzard, lots of deer, tons of rare birds, two more crocodiles of two different species and heard, without seeing, some wild boar. During the course of all this, we also got absolutely drenched in monsoon rain but it didn't seem to matter. It was still morning and we'd already gotten what I felt was our money's worth. Jumping out of the canoe at the beginning of the jungle trek, we were given a briefing on what to do if we came across a bear, rhino, elephant or tiger in close proximity. Once the guide had finished his speech and we'd nodded our heads sensibly throughout, we pressed on into the jungle. Slipping and sliding all over the place as a result of the weather, it must have looked even more comical that we only had trainers. Unlike most people here in Nepal, we're not sensible enough to own hiking boots. That being said, I didn't have sensible shoes for the rainforest / jungle in Khao Sok.. so why change now. During the course of the walk, we got to see an incredibly rare python which the guide proceeded to play with, alongside termite mounds, spiders, birds and deer. As well as this, we also saw the footprints of elusive bears and wild boar which we'd heard earlier on. Naturally I was a bit gutted that we didn't get to see the bear, especially as it's highly probably that he got to see us, along with everything else. At the end of the trek, we stopped at an elephant breeding centre and got to read about the work that was being done there, before introducing ourselves to some of the resident heffa-lumps. Apparently it holds a world record for being the only place where elephant twins are known to have been born. Like every fact I mention on this blog however, don't quote me on that.

[jalbertsmith]

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KATHMANDU TO CHITWAN One of many little villages on the way to Chitwan.