jamiedc-they-them

[jamiedc-they-them]

Tender Love and Care (Thunderbolts x GN!Reader Headcanons)

Request: For a Thunderbolts headcannons list, please: Being on the team, struggling with self love and taking care of yourself? - Anonymous

Description: Being a member of the Thunderbolts and struggling with self love

a/n: body image problems, insecurity about personality, talks of poor mental health, fluffy fluff

gif credit: @scorpiovelaryon, @glindauplland

Every person struggles with self love and taking care of themselves - it's human nature - that was something the team talked to you about and hammer it in any chance they can

They have their own little rituals and such to take care of themselves, ranging from indulging in simple pleasures to dopamine highs that last all day

Yelena and Bob, in spite of their own struggles, like to meditate - on the one hand, it keep the Void out of reach and keeps Yelena's mind a bit clearer

One day, you went to the training room and found the two of them lying on the floor in silence

You were curious so you went up to them to investigate - to which Bob opened his eyes and asked you to join them

It wasn't anything particular to teach self love, but more of a self nourishment tactic - to take time for yourself - and you greatly appreciated it

John and Ava, aside from being greatly at odds with each other, collaborated when it came to you and your personal image

You expressed to them once that you were entirely confident in your appearance and pointed out menial insecurities that ultimately didn't mean a lot - but they knew you took it to heart

John struggled to see his worth, so he understood how you felt to quite an extensive degree - so he makes it a personal development to offer one compliment a day for you - perhaps about your hair, your smile, maybe something about your personal character

Ava offers to go shopping with you to get you in things that make you feel pretty and comfortable - maybe a nice shirt or some cool shoes you had your eye on, she would be your personal hype-girl

Alexei and Bucky didn't really struggle with self love - maybe because they never had the time to actively think about it

Alexei loves to boast about himself and his glory, but he makes a point for you to be able to think and say those things about yourself - he comes up with some sort of mantra late at night and teaches you it in the morning to hype yourself up every morning, followed by some unintelligible yelling

Bucky takes a more subtle approach, making meals together is a huge one - that is if you struggle with that aspect of taking care of yourself. On top of that, he had to ration in the war, so he doesn't eat much as a result of that

In a way, it's a way to keep you both in check, whether the other felt forced to or not is down to you

Taking care of yourself is huge - being able to nourish yourself is a top priority in their books and these are little things in your life that make it just worth it all

The team always makes sure you're okay, but you always return the favour. Always.

Like, Comment and Reblog! Have any ideas? Drop them in my inbox!

[jamiedc-they-them]

Headcanons for being Yelena's brother

Yelena Belova x brother!reader/Alexei Shostakov x son!reader

warnings: death, guns, alcohol

a/n: i still wrote this mostly GN, reader is just more male-coded (with like brother specificaly used once) esp w/ red room, alexei, russian/masculine stuffs!! still adjusting to the idea of specifics like this!!

prompt: anonymous: "Ahhh you write for thunderbolts! Would a request for being Yelena’s brother be ok?"

yelena and you (and nat, alexei, melina) were all in that sleeper cell in ohio all those years ago

picture perfect family, you and your sisters got along well and you tried your best to fit in for the mission

you were trusted with the information regarding your status, promised to one day be a soldier, alexei tried to prepare you for your future

"you will become very big and strong one day, y/n. serve your country well" -alexei

"or maybe you will be a scientist like your mama" -melina

regardless, you were prepared

you would often watch after the girls, go to parks and play, walk along the train tracks and try to just act like normal kids with the odd hand you were dealt

you were told not to upset your sisters too much

"give it back, y/n!" -yelena

"come and get it!" -you, holding the ball you took up in the air

natasha would typically come to young yelena's aid, she was trained quite a bit, too

when you all fled ohio, you were separated

nat and yelena taken to become widows, alexei to fulfill his duties as the red guardian, melina to the hospital to save her from her injuries, and you were to be trained in a more proper setting

flash forward to 2016

you were dreykov's right hand, not knowing any better and surely being mind controlled, just too close to be freed

until yelena and natasha found you

"y/n, it is us, it is your sisters, please wake from this!" -yelena

"you know very well y/n can't, yelena. not unless you save them, but believe me when i say, you might have a bit of trouble trying" -dreykov

nat and yelena gave it their all trying to free you from the spell, fearing you'd been trained too well to get close to

but as they got more creative, they were able to free you and help you escape dreykov once and for all

and as the red room in the sky began crashing to the ground, you were told just one thing by yelena

"be careful on the way down, i'd like to see you again sometime" -yelena

the way down to the ground was terrifying but by some miracle, you and your family survived

but it was never that easy

"leave, they're here for me. leave and vanish and live your life" -natasha and the authorities came to arrest her

"i don't want to let you go, sister" -you

a few sorrowful goodbyes after just seeing your family again were gut, wrenching

you knew it was dangerous to stick together now, but you were so tempted to chase after any of them just to have some familiarity

and just as you felt you found your footing again, considered reaching out to the family, you blinked for just a second and woke up five years later

now your mission was to find your family—but it was too late for nat

a woman named valentina de allegra fontaine ended up tracking you down soon after and reuniting you with yelena

"sister, i am so so sorry. i wish i'd have come to you sooner, i should have been there for you" -you, squeezing her practically to death

"you never changed, always thinking it was your job to protect us" -yelena

"i feel like a failure" -you

"i do, too" -yelena

"okay, okay, the family reunion needs to be put on pause a moment—i have a job for the pair of you" -val

"ah! a catch! should have seen that one coming" -you

"well, i did you a favor. now i need something from you. but yay for siblings!!" -val

your eye rolls were near identical

the mission threw you into contract killing, which was...well, lets just say you were good at it

"clint barton, huh? what business do we have killing an avenger?" -you

"he killed natasha romanoff" -val

you and yelena's blood boiled at the news and accepted the mission with haste

and as the mission progressed, you realized just how much you were missing family

it was twenty years without it and just a few weeks with it that made you regret not seeking them out sooner-you were just scared they wouldn't see it the same way

and the things you did for dreykov, even if you knew they had similar experiences, you were nervous they wouldn't accept you

"yelena, how i've missed you. i...i'll never forgive myself for ohio" -you

"you act as if you had a choice, глу��ый (silly). you were a child, too." -yelena

"i didn't know we'd separate, i did everything they asked of me" -you

"and they turned you into dreykov's personal slave. how did alexei ever respond to that, by the way?" -yelena

"from what i can remember, not good. there was...i don't know—he masked it as jealousy, i think, but it seemed almost protective the way he objected. like he didn't know he'd given me to the dreykov or he thought he should have been the right hand man" -you

"is that—is that why dreykov had him locked up?" -yelena

"didn't help his case..." -you

you spoke of antonia as well, the friendship you nearly had as she was in a similar boat to you—but dreykov had a chokehold on your autonomy, you'd have taken her with you on your journey if you could

you did see the downfall of alexei through clouded eyes, but you felt such guilt for his fate for all those years

you think he wanted you as his sort of "sidekick" in his time as red guardian, betrayed when dreykov kept you for himself

"you want to see him?" -yelena

"i don't know what i want anymore" -you

new york was refreshing and sort of felt like a vacation

"when we are done with barton, i think we should just do some tourist stuff" -you

"yes! yes, i love this idea so much. empires state and statue of liberty, for sure! we will make a list" -yelena

you guys didn't end up killing barton, but val still wanted to keep you guys on the roster—you did plenty of jobs to make up for it

yelena and you ended up getting a place together, it was the most practical arrangement

and now that you werent trying to be a "picture perfect family" in the midwest, you could finally express yourselves a bit more

the feeling always came back to nostalgia, like you didn't feel fulfilled enough as a kid so you needed to make up for it

"lena, lena! look, mama sent me her recipes!" -you, running up the hallway of your little home "she even got the same tin she stored them in when we were kids" -you

"mama rewrote...all of these?" -yelena

"and a few new ones and some from when she was young. she left little notes on them, too" -you

"do you still talk to her?" -yelena

"i sent her a letter letting her know where we were and how we were doing" -you

yelena was actually a bit excited to taste the food she ate as a kid

"we should add some of our own recipes" -yelena

"so long as it isn't instant mac and cheese you eat from the pot" -you

"there is nothing wrong with that, you are just jealous i didn't share. make your own!" -yelena

you felt a bit weird about alexei still, and as much as you wanted to reconnect, it was just hard

you were like his mini-me, you didn't think he'd forgive you for pushing a wedge between him and dreykov, even if you were not in control

but yelena saw him without you and she expressed how strongly you felt

"y/n thinks i blame them? no! no, i would never! y/n was my greatest achievement, i am so proud of them!" -alexei "i don't mean i am not proud of you, i just had...ideas for y/n. for you, i knew it would not go my way"

"seems nothing did" -yelena

"please tell y/n i would like nothing more than to see my little soldier?" -alexei

yelena giggled when she heard him call you that

it brightened her spirits

truthfully, you were in the same dead-ended boat

bottles of vodka tided you over most nights, feelings of dread and defeat, clinking bottles in the trash and decorating the counters

the only thing getting you two through was validation of each other

her and her time as a black widow, you and your time as dreykov's puppet

it wasn't until you entered that remote warehouse with yelena that some sense began to flood back into you

between the betrayal and seeing ghost execute taskmaster right in front of you

"antonia!!" -you, running to be beside her

she was already gone though

guilt was all anyone was feeling as they all realized they'd been set up

you removed antonia's mask and held her dead body, feeling yelena's hand on your shoulder

"i told you i should have found her. she had no one but me and i failed her" -you

"i was just completing my mission" -ava

"we all were. this is usually a shoot first, ask later job. you didn't know" -john

"i wish i didn't know now" -ava

"well, at least i didn't kill anyone in cold blood" -john

"oh, shut up!" -ava

"y/n, there's no helping her now. i know you were close, but we need to get out of here" -yelena

ava got really tense around you the whole trip, but apologized somewhere in the desert

you knew she was just another pawn, and with valentina on all of your asses there wasn't really much room to fight over it right now

"i wish i knew she was working for val. it didn't have to end like that" -you

it was soon after this that alexei had found you all

and you hadn't seen him in a good while

"y/n, my little soldier! how i have missed seeing you so, i am so glad you arent dead!" -alexei

"good to see you, too" -you

"y/n, please know i don't blame you for anything, okay? you are my prized soldier, i could not have done better with you. i trained you so well, that bastard dreykov even stole you from me!" -alexei

"yelena! you told him?!" -you

"sorry! i didn't know he'd be so forward about it. jeez, dad!" -yelena

"oh, my babies back together again! you are both so accomplished, papa could not be more proud!" -alexei

"ugh, dad! you're embarassing us in front of the other assassins" -you

"no, please continue, this is great" -ava

"oh, yeah, that girl back there killed antonia just a few hours ago" -you

"jesus! hadn't that girl been through enough? you poor thing, y/n, i am so sorry for your loss" -alexei

*ava looking offended*

"well, you did kill her" -john

"she was about to kill you! how about a thank you, you ungrateful asshole" -ava

"i would have dodged that bullet anyway" -john

blah blah de blah i don't have a lot more to add until we get to the fight against the void, scene change to being in the void if you can set the scene

you saw alexei giving up the girls, and even you saw yourself in this scene, upset and confused, wanting to take them with you

you saw alexei's meltdown about dreykov taking you, the one that landed him in prison

"you did blame me?" -you

"no! no, little soldier! this is not about me fighting with dreykov over you. this—this right here," -alexei, pointing to him pulling the gun from his belt "was about me not killing dreykov and taking you away from him. i wanted to save you, i regret failing in that" -alexei

you saw yourself regretting not going after antonia

regretting not stepping up and taking care of yelena, instead pulling her down with you drinking and sulking

and finding yelena, you engulfed her in a hug (which alexei joined)

"yelena, i want to be a better brother to you, i have not lived up to who i need to be" -you

"you act as if you need to be the perfect one" -yelena "we can both be imperfect"

<3 <3 <3

"that's super sweet, you know? i didn't even know you guys were siblings, that's so cool" -bob

"i raised them!" -alexei "and then i gave them up to be child soldiers because i myself am selfish!" -alexei "see? who needs therapy when trapped in existential dread black hole?"

"he really knows how to embarrass us" -yelena

"it's endearing?" -you

by the time you got back to reality, val was rehearsing her last ditch effort to save her image by naming the team you'd accidentally formed "the new avengers"

"and these three—oh, you're going to love this, a little family unit. it gets better! natasha romanoff's family. in her honor, they will be fighting for you" -val

"i'm gonna kill her" -you

"not on live tv" -yelena

soon you were all holed up in avengers tower living like a little family again, alexei embarrassing you often, cooking you two dinner, giving goodnight kisses, taking a million family pictures and plastering them all over his room. it made the rest of the team feel...left out?

"i don't understand how they're so well adjusted, y/n told me what went down when they were all kids and now they're just...like that?" -john

"i don't know, russians can be weird. i know from experience" -bucky

"well, i think they like to humor alexei, as well. he's...nice" -ava

taglist: @locke-writes // @captainshazamerica // @summersimmerus // @prettysbliss // @simp-legend // @wild-rose-35 // @nekoannie-chan // @beth-gallagher22 // @sk1bidi-n1k0-e4ts-people // @deanzboyfriend // @mr-mxyzptlk-1940 // @lenaelleu //

[jamiedc-they-them]

Reblog to give prev the power to write their fanfiction

[jamiedc-they-them]

[jamiedc-they-them]

take it easy. you’re doing the best you can, you just think you’re not doing enough because you put too much pressure on yourself to be perfect and you end up disappointed on yourself. try to set lower goals, realistic ones, and try to accept who you are and what circumstances you have to deal with before being so harsh on yourself. you’re trying, and that’s enough. remember to rest. be gentle. and try to forgive yourself for not being perfect.

[jamiedc-they-them]

The Freedom to Love (Thunderbolts x GN!Reader Headcanons)

Description: The Thunderbolts at a Pride Parade

a/n: supportive fluff, reader can be read as any sexuality or gender identity in this, aroace yelena, bisexual bucky, lesbian ava

gif credit: @dailymarvelstudios, @blank-potato, @prideflagstim

Valentina saw this as a PR stunt, really - a chance to advertise and 'market' the team effectively - you guys were going to be the faces of it, essentially, Valentina made it your whole personality

But, let's face it, neither of you guys wanted that - so, the three of you took it upon yourselves to round up the team and go to a different pride parade, free from the constraints of advertisement, and simply have it all to yourselves

Yelena has her aroace flag wrapped like a cape on her back, Bucky has a mini bisexual flag to wave around, and Ava has a t-shirt with 'certified girl kisser' on the front

Whatever you personally identify as, you best believe the team has your back

You and Ava dance around and heckle at anti-LGBTQ+ protesters, giving them the middle finger and just berating them

Alexei definitely has a 'Proud Dad Hugs' shirt lying around in his room just for this occasion

He goes to hug the people whose parents probably didn't accept them when they came out, giving them a little hope - and to redeem his fatherly side

John canonically grew up in the deep south, so he isn't really aware of Pride Parade etiquette - you gave him a rundown of the whole thing

He ends up enjoying himself, and he was quite popular with the hypermasculine queer crowd - a few guys definitely fancied him too

Bob is Bob - he's a little awkward but does end up making friends wherever he goes, so somehow, he's separated from the group and found with drag kings and queens

You and Yelena definitely go to join him - even learning a few dances from the performers

And once the parade starts, Bucky is in tears - not fully sobbing - but shedding tears of freedom

He couldn't be open in the '40s, and seeing how open people were now in the modern day was such a welcomed change of pace

You hold his hand through the whole thing

You all fully took advantage of the day - facepaint, mardi-gras level theatrics, the works

This may have been a marketing scheme - but it was one that was worthwhile when on your accord

Happy Pride!

[jamiedc-they-them]

Headcanons: Being Nonbinary and a Thunderbolt*

MASTERLIST | AO3

Pride Month 2025 #1

Relationship(s): The Thunderbolts/New Avengers x nonbinary!reader (platonic; mentioned)

Warnings: Mentions of dysphoria, mentions of transphobia, possible typos because I'm trying to be less perfectionist about my silly little headcanon posts. (Let me know if I need to add any)

(A/N: My first MCU fic! And, my first Pride Month 2025 fic. I used to be really into the MCU back in 2019, but then my love of and interest in it dwindled post-WandaVision. I've spent the past 5 years wanting to get back into the MCU, and it was Thunderbolts* that convinced me to finally do it. I rewatched the Cap movies and the Avengers movies and finally watched Black Widow and TFATWS. I'll (probably) do a full watch through of the whole MCU ready for Fantastic Four next month. But, yeah, I really fell in love with these movies again and I can't wait to write for these characters. I wanna do a fic where the reader is Hawkeye's adopted kid and they come out to him as nonbinary, particularly with the reader having this backstory. If you'd be interested in that, let me know! Also, I wanna write romantically for Bucky, particularly with an enby reader with that same backstory. I wanna be Bucky's lameass nonbinary partner genuinely. As always, requests are open! I have no idea what to write, really, I'll add the MCU to my fandom list when I've done a full catch-up.)

You’ll be happy to know that everyone on the team is cool with the whole nonbinary thing.

Mostly.

Alexei is a little confused but has the spirit.

Definitely ‘his/her pronouns are they/them!’ energy.

He is curious but not judgemental, and if anything he thinks it’s pretty cool.

Yelena, Bucky and Ava are normal about it and don’t treat it like a big deal.

At first Bob is clearly nervous about messing up how he refers to you, so you might have to reassure him that it’s fine for him to mess up as long as he tries his best.

On the opposite end of the spectrum is Walker, who, when you first meet him, can’t give less of a shit about offending you.

He doesn’t go out of his way to do it, and he isn’t malicious about it, but I can imagine him thinking ‘oh, great’ and rolling his eyes about it.

He doesn’t strike me as someone who has queer friends. Or friends. Especially after he bashed that guy’s head in.

He misgenders you and the only apology he offers is sarcastic and otherwise insincere because he’s got bigger things to worry about, like his wife leaving him.

Of course, Bucky, Ava and Yelena will all tell him to shut up and stop being a dick.

I adore my silly little idea of Ava and Yelena misgendering him to piss him off and see how he would like it, and it isn’t long until he concedes that it’d just be less of a headache to show you some basic respect and refer to you properly.

And, he will actually come to not be bothered by referring to you properly in the end.

I feel like Ava’s main way of showing support is by being a dick to people who are dicks to you about the gender thing.

Bucky knew you long before the whole Thunderbolts/New Avengers thing.

(TLDR: My headcanon is that, after Civil War, you lived in Wakanda after Steve busted you out of prison, which gave you a chance to get to know Bucky and vice versa)

When he first met you, all he knew about you was that you had stuck your neck out to save him, something for which he was grateful.

And, if you had Steve’s stamp of approval, that was more than enough for him.

The whole ‘nonbinary’ thing was unfamiliar to him.

He’d noticed how you were referred to by Steve and the others.

He took the approach of not questioning it, despite being confused.

Not asking about it became unavoidable when you grew closer.

One night, when you were both sitting around a fire in Wakanda, he very awkwardly asked you about it, and you had a long conversation about it.

After that, he understands well enough and he gets the hang of gendering you correctly in no time.

(I’d like to think you help explain other queer concepts to him).

If someone is a dick to you, he will stand up for you.

Whether or not you can handle things yourself, he takes it upon himself to have your back, like you had his, and like he always had Steve’s.

It’s in his nature to stick up for the little guy, you know?

I’d like to think that, after Bucky and the rest of the population is revived post-blip, you remain close to him.

You wind up being his best friend by default.

And, he does his own research on queer shit because he cares that much about you and being a good friend to you.

He doesn’t admit it or bring it up.

Even though you’re friends, he feels awkward about asking you things directly too much.

Either way, it’s clear he’s done his homework.

I’d like to think, as a congressman, he does what he can to advocate for queer people like you.

I feel like Valentina would try to encourage you to be the LGBTQ+ New Avenger.

Even though, y’know, there’s probably a few fruits in that basket if you get what I’m saying.

Her image of you is one of a corporate Pride poster child- someone who can appeal to a demographic, rather than an actual person.

She will try to parade you around like her token queer associate.

Hopefully, you’ll have none of it.

Bucky and Yelena will advocate for you.

They will tell you not to do anything you don’t want to do or otherwise feel uncomfortable doing.

There’s something so compelling about a superhero who is given the opportunity to be positive, visible, real-life representation for their community whilst also knowing they’ll have to be palatable in a way that likely sacrifices facets of their own identity and experiences.

I haven’t seen much of The Boys but that’s a storyline in that show I think.

If you exclusively use they/them pronouns, or pronouns that aren’t ‘they’, ‘she’ or ‘he’, Val definitely fucks up your pronouns a suspicious amount of times for someone who likes to appear like an ally.

If you use any pronouns, she will default to the pronouns of your AGAB with the occasional ‘they’ thrown in for good measure.

She really is one of those kinds of people, I fear; someone who isn’t queerphobic but is performative in her allyship.

If/when you’re feeling dysphoric, Yelena will be there to listen to you vent.

I love the idea that Yelena will warn everyone that you’re not feeling great, and Alexei will take it upon himself to hype you up.

“Heyyy, if it isn’t the most not-woman, not-man person I know!”

He claps you on the back and looks to Yelena for approval that he just did allyship right.

Again, he’s a little confused but he’s got the spirit.

If you seem down and you’re clearly withdrawing from the rest of the team, I can imagine Bob asking you if you’re okay and stumbling over some clumsy words of comfort.

I feel like Yelena, Bucky and Bob would be more observant than the rest of your teammates when it comes to realising you’re reacting negatively to gender stuff.

They’re the ones who will catch you looking at your reflection for a few seconds too long, or obsessively readjusting your clothes or your hair, or doomscrolling through anti-trans headlines.

If you seem to be way too caught up in it, they’ll ask you if you’re alright, or otherwise try to distract you with something else (even if it’s obvious they know something’s up).

Ava will pick up on a lot of things but she is far less likely to say anything.

It’s not that she doesn’t care; it’s that she doesn’t think it’s her place to say anything because she wouldn’t be your ‘go-to’.

If she notices that you’re doomscrolling, though, I’d like to think she snatches your phone off you without a word.

You have to be so visibly bad for John or Alexei to notice.

And, even then, they might not realise it’s a gender thing.

But, if Alexei knows what’s wrong, he’ll try his best to comfort you.

He’s paternal like that.

John won’t bother saying anything.

His version of being nice is the bare minimum of not making you feel any worse.

Quickfire round:

If you’re transmasc, Alexei will offer to take you to do some stereotypically masculine activities.

He may also let you win an arm wrestling contest to make you feel better.

(If you couldn’t tell, I love the idea of Alexei being paternal to you).

If you ever want/need to go shopping for gender-affirming clothes, Yelena will be happy to go with you because clothes and other forms of self-expression mean a lot to her.

If you bind, Yelena and Bucky are really good at picking up if you’re doing it unsafely.

They will pick up on if you seem dehydrated or if your body language shows some discomfort, especially if you’re someone who isn’t great at taking care of themself.

In summary, you have some good teammates who look out for you.

[jamiedc-they-them]

Thunderbolts Preference: Being Plus Size And Insecure

Requested: hai hai!! your blog is feeding my thunderbolts addiction right now and your amazing writing is doing WONDERS. i was wondering if i could request headcannons/preferences of the thunderbolts* with a plus size!reader that doesn’t feel like they’re worthy of being part of the team? if that’s not something you’re comfortable i totally understand!! - anon

A/N: I hope you like it my love!!!!! 🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤🖤

THUNDERBOLTS REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Bucky tries not to notice the way you attempt to cover yourself when the New Avengers go to press conferences or are caught by paparazzi. You're always ducking behind the others, sticking yourself in the back where the cameras can barely capture you. He hates to think you're doing it intentionally. One night, he finds you in front of newspapers and magazines with nasty headlines about your weight. That's all anyone will talk about and as much as you try to hide your feelings, he knows it's something you give a lot of thought to. You ask him if everyone thinks about your body as much as the press does and he makes it clear how serious he is when he says no. You hate that you're even bringing this up, but it's all anyone cares about when it comes to plus size people. He gently collects all the papers, throwing them out, insisting you're so much more than what your body looks like. You're strong and fast and powerful and one hell of an Avenger. He reminds you the headlines will do anything to smear your name. Bringing up your body isn't just lazy or a low blow, it's dead wrong. You're one of the best on the team and you shouldn't doubt that for a second.

Alexei notices you tweaking your new costume. It's tighter, a lot more revealing than your last one, but Valentina insisted you needed a new look. He hates the look on your face, how uncomfortable you seem when it looks great! You look great! You turn to him, defeated, asking if it looks okay and though he's adamant it does, better than okay, you can't help but hate what you see in the mirror. He insists you sit down next to him where he goes into a long discussion about body image. Do you think he has always been the confident man he is today? You shrug. You just sort of assumed so. Alexei is loud and confident and fearless in everything he does, even if it makes him come off as thoughtless or careless. No, he clarifies, and he tells you about his glory days as Red Guardian where everyone thought he was too big. It used to get to him, of course, but then he had his family and his daughters, his whole world, never saw him being big as bad. They loved him not despite his body, but because of it. Who else could give them a piggy back ride at the same time? What he's trying to say is, people will think and say whatever they want, but it's you who has to live in it. Do you really want to waste time disliking yourself?

Yelena notices how hard you've been working out and training, putting in more hours than anyone else, but she senses it's for the wrong reasons. You've become quieter, more self-conscious, turning down interviews and press conferences, and it hurts her to see this. She's always loved your body. Not just because you're one of the best on the team, but your curves as well. Your suit fits like a glove and she can't help but adore you when you go undercover, dressed to the nines as a means of distraction. People practically fall over themselves trying to get a better look at you. Gently, she brings it up, asking if you're doing all this because you want to be stronger or faster, or because you don't like what you see when you look in the mirror. You admit it's the latter, that you feel like you're not worthy of being on this team because you're plus size. It hurts to hear this. Never once has she doubts your abilities because of the size of your body. She's not angry at you, but on your behalf. You're on this team because you're good at your job and if anyone tells you otherwise, they're not only wrong, they're a liar.

Ava notices everything. She doesn't mean to pry, but she can't ignore all the little things you do, all the signs that show you are insecure about your body and your weight when you shouldn't be at all. She knows people who dislike the team will find anything to pick on. They drag up your past as assassins, they make fun of you for being brainwashed, they love to highlight the mistakes you've all made. Bringing up your body is a low blow, but not only that, it's downright inappropriate. She doesn't want to push the subject, but when you bring it up to her, asking her if she thinks your costume is too tight, too revealing, for someone with your body she's quick to put your fears at ease. You know, out of all of them, Ava is going to be the most straightforward. If she thought your body was something that needed changing or fixing, she would tell you. It hurts her to think of how long you've been thinking this and how evil all those people are that think they can drag your body into a conversation when it's completely unnecessary.

John finds you one day after a one on one meeting with Valentina. All she did was bring up your weight and your size, saying you need to change it, to be smaller, and to do it fast so that you "fit better" on the team. John isn't someone you normally go to with these types of things, but you can't help it. it all comes out, your voice quiet and shameful. He's furious, excusing himself immediately, and you assume he's mad at you for confiding in him. You don't realize it, but he marches into a meeting Valentina is having and puts her in her place. She has no right to say those things to you when 1.) it's not true and 2.) it's downright cruel. He's angry, screaming at her, telling her how much she hurt you, that she will never do it again. Normally fearless, you looked so small, so sad, and it killed him to see. He drags her upstairs where you are, saying if she doesn't apologize, she's going to regret it. They put on a happy face and Valentina "realizes how wrong she was" and apologizes profusely. You're shocked. She's never felt bad about anything hurtful she's done. You wouldn't find out until later, and John never brings it up, but you're immensely grateful for what he did.

Bob never thought that your body would hold you back or make it so that you were any less valuable to the team. You bring it up to him one night, when it's just the two of you, asking him if you think that. He's shocked, speechless, but he does his best to compose his thoughts the best he can. He asks you gently why you would ever think that? You shrug. There are so many reasons why. Not just the tabloids and articles written about your body, but sometimes you think the others are watching you, waiting for you to fail, like they're all expecting it. You've never seen Bob so serious, but he wants to make himself clear: none of them have ever or will ever think that about you. They all love you in their own special ways, especially him. He wouldn't have joined the team if it wasn't for you including him in everything and watching out for him and having so much patience. You're beyond valuable to the team, but even more so as a friend. It hurts him to think you think so little of yourself sometimes.

[jamiedc-they-them]

Headcanons for being Finnick's younger sibling and being reaped five years after his Games

Finnick Odair x sibling!reader

warnings: apparently anon REALLY wants me to torture yall so...also i almost got really evil with this and made it hg70 and had annie and reader get reaped together but i DIDNT so YOURE WELCOME. oh and real warnings are violence, death, blood, hunger games

a/n:

prompt: anonymous: "yo okay so would you be willing to write a headcanon for being finnick's younger sibling who gets reaped a few years after his games and he has to mentor reader??? feel free to make it as devastating as you please (angst and finnick go together like peanut butter and jelly, i love him and therefore want to see him suffer)"

"y/n odair" -announcer picking your name from the bowl

finnick, sitting on the stage, jumped to his feet at your name, about to contest it, but it was no use. you were dead either way

you stepped forward in the district 4 crowd

it'd been 4 years since finnick won the games, he thought you'd be safe

but in all honesty, he knew it was his fault and this was his cruel punishment

you walked onto stage and he grabbed you in a hug on live tv

"i'm so sorry. this is my fault. i'm going to try to fix this" -finnick

"there isn't any use in that. what's done is done" -you

"you can win, i know it, i will be with you every step of the way" -finnick

mags had to pull him off you before it caused any more discourse

you were not mad at finnick, you did not feel betrayed by him, but he couldn't stop staring at you like you were going to kill him the second you boarded the train

"they know our strengths and weaknesses. what if the arena is made to weaken me?" -you

"we have time to train, we can figure this out together. y/n, i didn't mean for this to happen. i said no to snow just once, this isn't fair" -finnick

"nothing is fair, finnick. it's the hunger games—if it were fair, we wouldn't have them. period." -you

the train ride was somber, and all finnick could think of was the exploitation you'd face these next few weeks—and years if you managed to win

when you got the the capitol, he refused to leave your side

especially during styling

"y/n does not need to be anywhere near nude to be desirable. don't even try it. we're going to do this my way. y/n is the younger sibling of the youngest victor. we play into that. into my desirability" -finnick

"i don't think snow will like that" -you

"to hell with snow" -finnick

you were worried finnick would do something rash that would get you both killed

and even more worried that if you won, there'd be a worse punishment

"we're being set up, you know that? i don't think i'm making it out of this alive" -you

"hey, do not say that. you have a better chance than most. you're going to get sponsors for sure, you just go onto that chariot and you let them see who you are first" -finnick, grabbing your face

the tribute parade was okay, finnick finally managed to convince the stylists that revealing clothes would not be necessary and you could wear more practically fancy clothes. they opted for a scale pattern on your outfit. it sparkled, shined like a rainbow

the other tributes were wary of you, likely warned you could be dangerous considering the relation you shared to another victor

or maybe they were alienating you from your peers and potential allies

"you don't need allies, y/n. as much as i wish you had a chance to have a friend in there, it won't last and you can't trust them" -finnick

he tried his best to play nice with other mentors, but something was wrong

they looked down on the both of you, another ploy from snow?

the interviews were dull—at least, to you

"my, my, who do we have here. another odair just four years later?" -caesar

"unfortunately" -you

"oh, but what if you win? your family will be so proud of you and your brother. isn't that something to look forward to?" -caesar

you looked off to the side at finnick, urging you to just smile a little. even shyly

"well...i guess it wouldn't hurt" -you, pretending to play nice

"y/n, i must say, you and finnick don't seem much alike. he's oh, so very...smooth. you seem the shy kind, i've noticed" -caesar

"that's just how we are. he's the big brother, he's been in the spotlight, i'm just not so used to this" -you

"then, y/n, i hope to see you again after the games, if you know what i mean. maybe you'll get used to this big bright spotlight, too. i sure have, i just went blind in the process!" -caesar

finnick gave you a hug the moment you got off stage and told you how well you did. he hated seeing you used as another pawn and despised reliving this all over again through your eyes

you got a 10/12 by the gamemakers

finnick hadn't slept in days

he debated the idea of cheating

anything to keep his younger sibling alive, but he felt one wrong move would have you killed the moment you stepped foot in the arena

your fellow D4 tribute was being mentored by mags, but even they kept their distance from you. that was because they knew you were capable of winning

the moment finnick got his last look at you, he hugged tighter than ever before

"finnick, thank you for being the best big brother" -you

"don't say it like a goodbye, please" -finnick

"you're making this harder than it needs to be" -you

"i'm letting go of the person i care about most in this world, y/n. it is hard" -finnick

"i don't want it to be" -you

"i don't either. so do everything you can to push forward in that arena. you will get your hands dirty. you will hurt people and suffer and feel the worst fear imaginable, but you can win this. we have the sponsors, you have the training, and you know you have me in your corner" -finnick

"do you know what the arena will be like?" -you

"i don't...but i know you can handle it" -finnick

when you got to the arena, you were mortified

desert. one water source—tropical oasis with a waterfall. there were plenty of trees—they looked to be growing coconuts. another source of both water and food. even a weapon in some respects

the cornucopia was at the mouth of the oasis, district 1+2 would likely overtake it within the next few hours.

when the countdown went off, you rushed for just one weapon before making a run for it

it was no surprise the bulk of the tributes went after you—like the one who put you down would be favored the most

"they told me i'd be sent an obnoxious amount of supplies if i got y/n" -tribute

"yeah, me too" -another tribute

so great, the capitol made it an incentive to kill you

what the hell did finnick do to have you guys deserve this

finnick was on the edge of his seat watching you flee for your life

in one fell swoop, you turned and launched the trident—the only weapon you acquired—back at your suitors and struck one straight through the chest, knocking another on the ground.

one tribute remained in pursuit and you had to get creative, as they were holding a sword

a swift turn around a tree threw the tribute off just enough for you to kick the back of their knees and buckle them

they fell to the ground and you were quick to take their sword and stab them through the back

there was immediate guilt following the pursuit you'd somehow manage to win, and finnick didn't realize he had been holding his breath as long as he had

you backtracked to the trident and realized you knocked the other tribute unconscious as she lay below the dead tribute with the trident in his chest—she hit her head on a tree

reluctantly, you made the decision

you looked around to spot a camera, and with regret already in your gaze, you drove the sword you'd collected into her chest—a quick death

and another canon went off

by your count, that was...6? but as moments passed, 7, 8, 9, and 10 went off

14 tributes remain and the game just started, this terrain may not have been the best choice

they thought taking you from water would hurt you, but they didn't realize you had more to bring to the table

by nightfall, finnick had sent you some food and a note

you've done good so far, save your strength tonight. -finn

you ate the food paid for by sponsors and tried to rest, now you had a trident and a sword and a meal to tide you over

and with 11 tributes left, you may have a—scratch that—10 tributes...

you could have a chance at gaining the oasis

you didn't know how foolish that'd be

after scoping the area for hours, you were able to conclude the coast may have been clear enough to at least drink some water and linger nearby amongst the trees

you sloshed around the water, grabbed a bottle from the cornucopia, and began to drink

and hurriedly, finnick typed you a message on your next sponsored delivery

little did you know, there was an entire cave behind the waterfall some other tributes were hiding in

and they ambushed you

you quickly used your trident, the tool not many others could master, to fight off the other tributes

two canons went off as you struggled in the water, managing to take down your opponents

as this went on, another tribute crawled out of the water and got good enough aim with a bow and arrow to shoot you while you were in the water

you gasped as the arrow went through your stomach and one of the tributes still wrestling you held you down under the water as you weakened

and as you stopped struggling and went limp, the canon went off and the gift finnick sent you landed and the tribute that ended your life opened it—delayed on purpose

TRIBUTES IN THE WATERFALL! TRAP! RUN AWAY! -FINN

taglist: @summersimmerus // @sweetjedi //

[jamiedc-they-them]

❤️❤️❤️❤️😭

Thunderbolts Preference: Struggling To Rest

Requested: Hi :) I apologise if I don’t do this correctly for a request: The Thunderbolts helping you when you struggle with letting yourself rest due to overworking yourself? - @jamiedc-they-them

A/N: Jamie my love!!! Your request is perfect! I definitely relate to this more than I'd like to admit lol. I hope you like it!!! 🖤

THUNDERBOLTS REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Bucky knows from experience if you don't slow down right now and take a step back, you're going to burnout so spectacularly, you'll never recover. You'll have to leave the team, do what you love, and live a life you have zero interest in experiencing. He sits you down, talks about his time in Wakanda where he got to take a break from it all, rest, and find himself. He clarifies you don't have to go to that extreme, but even just taking a few minutes every day to check in with yourself does wonders. Remember to rest, to sleep more than you are and take breaks between training sessions. Find enjoyment outside of the team and the tower. You know he means well, that what he's saying is true, but you feel like if you slow down, you'll go back to your life before the New Avengers (lonely and miserable and hating yourself). He assured you that won't happen, that you have your teammates, your friends, who care about you and want the best for you. A little rest isn't going to kill you, it's the best thing for you.

Alexei gets sort of fatherly around you, in these moments. You're running on fumes. He can tell every punch, every step, everything makes you hurt. Mentally and emotionally, you're done for. You're jaded and angry and always on the verge of tears. If you don't stop right now, if you don't take care of yourself, he fears the worst. Valentina says you're doing a "great job! keep up the good work!" and he goes postal. That is not what you need to hear right now. After he yells at her (behind closed doors, he'd never want to embarrass you), he sits you down with her while the two of them praise the work you've been doing, he makes sure she tells you to rest, to take some time for yourself. You're immediately confused, offended. Didn't she just say? But he interrupts you, saying they thought it over, and felt it was best you take a break. Just for a little while, he clarifies, and nudges her to agree. It feels patronizing, but he knows you'd rather listen to Valentina than him. You agree, knowing you can't keep this up forever, and they're both ecstatic. Afterwards, Valentina rolls her eyes and says you're an adult, you can figure it out for yourself, but Alexei knows better than her. You've always had someone telling you what to do. Rest is no different, you just need a nudge to do so.

Yelena makes sure her words are gentle, kind, and that she has a lot of patience. She's seen this before. She knew girls, even after they got out, who pushed themselves so hard and so much they never recovered. She understands the mindset, that you think you're weak and powerless and you have to keep going to outrun all those bad feelings and bad thoughts. She asks you out for drinks, hoping getting out of the tower, away from everything, will make you more willing to listen. She talks to you as if she's talking to her sister. She wants the best for you, she wants you to be safe and happy, and you can't do that if you keep going at this rate. You don't lash out like she thought you would, instead you grow quiet, telling her you're afraid. Afraid of feeling like you used to, so alone and so sad and so scared all the time. If you keep your body and your mind busy, your emotions can't catch up. She agrees, that that'll work for a little while, but it always catches up with you, no matter what. She reminds you you have her, and the team, so you don't have to face it all alone.

Ava, like Bucky, is firm but kind in her words/actions. You're pushing yourself too hard in training, too hard on missions, too hard in life. You're going to crash and burn any minute and, as nicely as she can say it, she doesn't want to be the one picking up the pieces. Something happened, something is making you push yourself, and she wants, no, needs, to get to the bottom of it. She doesn't make a big deal or a show of it. She sits you down one on one and points out how much you've been doing, offering that you can rest at least a little if you'd like. You're adamant you can handle it, that you're fine, but you both know that's not true. She makes sure you're looking her in the eyes, that you know just how serious she really is, when she tells you this is the wrong path to go down. If you don't listen to your body and mind, and rest, then you're putting yourself and the whole team at risk. It feels like a low blow - you love your team, you'd do anything to protect them, and she knows this. It works, though, and you ask her what you can do to balance it all out. You'd never want to be the reason your teammates get hurt (or worse).

John, as you know, can be more than a little forward when it comes to getting his point across. If he thinks you're pushing yourself too hard (emotionally, physically, mentally) he's going to say it to your face. He finds you late one night training by yourself. You look exhausted. He turns the machine off as you're in the middle of a rep, ordering you to go to bed. Now. You're angry, offended, picking a fight when you both know he's right. It's late, you look like you're on the verge of collapsing, he tells you he's not doing this. But you are. You want to. So, he has no other choice but to put you in your place. John tells you he knew a lot of great, powerful people who pushed themselves too far and they never recovered. Never found their way back to themselves. Do you want to do that? Crash and burn? Get kicked out of this team because you've ruined yourself? You're screaming at one another, but he can tell you're close to caving in, so he pushes you even further. You're reduced to tears, hating yourself and him, but he's right, for once in his life. You give up, feeling tired in your bones, telling him to fuck off, but doing as he says.

Bob feels the least qualified to be talking to you about this, but everyone agrees you'll listen to him. You're closest with him, too. He figures he has some time to prepare a speech, but they all disagree, pushing him to talk to you right now. He apologizes for interrupting your training session, fumbling his way through until he takes a deep breath, awkwardly putting his hand on your shoulder. He can feel the rest of the team sighing and cringing and cursing from the other side of the wall. He sits you down, explaining that he cares about you, a lot. You're confused, but you let him speak. He says that he's worried about you, everyone is. You've been pushing yourself so hard in training, on missions. You're not letting yourself recover after getting hurt and you're barely sleeping. He's worried, that's all. He doesn't want to injure yourself anymore, he doesn't want you to burn out. Something about his sincerity makes his words get through to you. Quietly, as if ashamed, you admit that you're tired. Really tired. He says that's okay, that maybe the first step is taking a nap, and you'll figure it out from there together. You agree, relief flooding your features.

[jamiedc-they-them]

Flashing Lights, but You are Blind (Thunderbolts x AroAce!GN!Reader Headcanons)

Request: How would Yelena (and the Thunderbolts) be if reader was aroace but didn't read flirty signs when someone outisde of the team flirta with R but they don't read the signs and maybe each explains or helps R? - Anonymous

Description: Being a member of the Thunderbolts and being AroAce, and unable to pick up flirting

a/n: this was super fun to write! enjoy!

a/n: this is just a funny one tbh, it's a nice break from the angst of the last few posts, unwanted flirting, pure fluffy fluff, supportive dad Alexei

gif credit: @gaybuckybarnesss, @misselesava, @redbeardace

You didn't exactly come out to the team - you felt like you didn't need to since everyone was pretty open to each other at this point

The team also didn't pay much mind to sexuality or identities like that and just...didn't make the connection

It became a little more apparent when you guys, on a day off, decided to go to a bar one evening to wind down from the week

You, Yelena, Ava and Bob decide to go dance - Yelena and Ava having some pre-choreographed routine, and Bob does a little shuffle, clueless of what to do

You are doing your own thing, when a random guy comes up to you, striking up conversation - you weren't really interested but you just let him yap

He was saying all sorts - how pretty you were, how we wanted to get to know you, and you were like "...ok..."

Bucky, John and Alexei are sat at the counter having drinks, when they see the guy speaking to you, they kind of just let it be, and only decide to intervene if you were uncomfortable - but you seemed fine with it

Yelena and Ava also notice the guy speaking to you, going to you to check if you're okay, and you said you were fine

Once you guys decided to just have some drinks, they guy was still trying to speak to you - at this point it was too close for comfort - so you politely told him to leave

After much pushing, John and Bucky went up and, more grudgingly, asked for the guy to leave

Afterwards, you guys had drinks in peace - until Alexei tactlessly asked "...so...you don't like men, or what?"

The group groans but you hush them, "...no, not exactly."

"So you like girls?" Bob interjects. "...that's fine."

"I know it's fine, but...I don't like girls either."

Yelena put two and two together and simply said, "...I get you, Y/n...sometimes romance is just...not it."

John then asks, "So...what are you?"

This then leads to an extensive conversation about your aroace identity and the team slowly understood

Ava, Bob and Yelena welcomed it with open arms, and Yelena didn't feel so alone in her feelings

John and Bucky understood, not that it didn't confuse them, but they remained respectful

Alexei just had more and more questions, you didn't mind answering them, but they were just a lot

In short, the team don't mind at all - you and Yelena became closer than ever, and overall, they're all supportive - invasive questions and all

Like, Comment and Reblog! Have any ideas? Drop them in my inbox!

[jamiedc-they-them]

Hi, apologies for lack of content. I have started some request, but I have been on holiday. I come back in Sunday, then I am back to work, but I should be back toy semi-sporadic but get done schedule.

My masterlist, however,should be updated.

[jamiedc-they-them]

😭❤️

I'm Gonna Grow Wings (Thunderbolts x Suicidal!GN!Reader Headcanons)

Request: Can I please ask for a Thunderbolts x suicidal thoughts!reader please? If not I do understand :) - Anonymous

Description: Being a member of the Thunderbolts and having suicidal thoughts

a/n: as said with the other mental illness posts, this is taken with extreme care and research, so i do hope i do this topic justice. reader is hinted to be previously experimented on, reader does have ideations, poor mental health, isolating, but protective and supportive fluff heading your way

gif credit: @captainofmischief, @whitedarkmoonflower

You carry a heavy weight on your shoulders, something the group had sensed was all too familiar for all of them

They firmly believe in a sense of community - and mental health and talking things through seem to be top priority for them all, but talking just doesn't do it for you

So they've all come up with ways to help you out - in their own special way, of course

Bob is a little more sensitive about your situation, whether it had been something traumatic in your past or feeling genuinely alone, Bob knows how to keep you from harming yourself further

With this in mind, he can empathise with your situation - having run on drug for a portion of his adulthood and seeking help where no one would give it to him, he make every effort to sit and listen

Even if it isn't a meaningful conversation, he wants to divert your attention from the negative thoughts as much as he can and wants to

Yelena and John, aside from endless bickering and butting heads, they have a level of respect for you that ultimately comes out as silent but strong support

When you remain in your room away from people, Yelena urges you to come out and hang with her, whether it is chores or watching a movie - your choice, of course

John, on the other hand, understands the feeling of emotions becoming stunted when you don't really know how to express how you feel - so sparring is a good physical outlet for the two of you to partake in

Alexei is doing his best to understand your feelings - although, the understanding may come out in some form of story of when he was feeling down in his glory days

But he is trying, trust me - Alexei kind of offers to be your dad in a sense - on the one hand, it helps him connect better with you and slowly but surely fix himself from his past with raising Yelena

On the other hand, he gives you a good laugh - he often says laughter is the best medicine, so he's always there if you're looking for something to laugh at and with

Bucky and Ava understand the feeling of wanting to escape an impossible situation

Being poked and prodded at for heaven knows how long is something they can never escape, and they sense it in you - Ava becomes someone who tries to prevent anything harmful in your vicinity - whether it is something you can use to hurt yourself or otherwise

Bucky is like a weighted blanket, since you can be prone to emotional episodes, he's able to bring you back down, offering soft words of encouragement and letting you know you aren't alone anymore

With a family like this, you never feel so solitary anymore, they've even helped you out of your shell a bit

Slowly but surely, you realize you've got six wonderful people who can empathise and listen to you

You're not alone, anymore. Not with them.

Like, Comment and Reblog! Have an idea? Drop it in my inbox!

[jamiedc-they-them]

So Loud, Yet so Hushed Pt. 2 (Thunderbolts x Mute!GN!Reader Headcanons)

Request: Need more mute reader and thunderbolts!! It's so good!! ❤️❤️ - Anonymous

Description: Headcanons on being the youngest member of the Thunderbolts and being mute, continued

a/n: i am very happy that people enjoyed the first set so much - it blew up and now y'all want more? perfect! as said before, research was conducted to make these as authentic as possible, Reader is a Thunderbolt, Reader is mute, except able to express themselves through making noises. Reader isn't a specific age, but we'll say they're between 18 - 21

Part 1

gif credit: @dailymarvelstudios, @abbydidnothingwrong

So we've talked about their support in the tower - but what about on a mission in the field?

As field missions become to get a bit more complicated, you and the group devise a form of buddy system if the group has to split - in terms of randomizing, each dynamic you my have with each Thunderbolt will determine the communication style and how you conduct yourself, given your limitations

When you're paired with Yelena, the communication is absolutely direct. She makes instructions clear to you and gives as much detail as possible to avoid any confusion on your part

She mostly handles the combat stuff whilst if anything computer-y happens, she leaves that to you

One occasion required the both of you to physically batter some guards, at some point you're hit and she immediately goes into defence mode - once the guards are down for the count, you sat up, a bit dizzy

"Are you okay...?" She asks.

All you answered with was "...hmph," with a mini smile on your face - that put her at some ease

When you're set up with Alexei and Bucky, they both are the types of people that don't necessarily find a common ground

Both of them grew up and flourished on different sides of history, mind you, so you sometimes have to play mediator to get them to stop bickering

Alexei is basically your tank, you're the brains, and Bucky leads - and with the hand signals like you and Bucky use, you teach Alexei a few so you guys communicate a bit better

*makes hand gesture* "Like this, yes?" Alexei verifies, earning a nod from you

Bucky smiles a little, not really saying anything, but just enjoying the moment

When you're set with Ava, there is a silent consensus with the two of you

Since you do not speak, it's sometimes difficult to get in contact with you effectively - so she has a little scheme

She often offers to give you a tracker that is linked to one she puts on herself, so you guys can find each other

"Don't take it the wrong way..." she emphasizes, "It's a precaution."

You smile a little, putting your hands on her arms and giving a firm nod before heading out

Ava adores you, she wouldn't be able to stand seeing you lost

And finally, when set with the wildcards Bob and John, it gets a bit quiet - not because they haven't got anything to say - but more out of respect for you

It was Bob's idea, John reluctantly went along

If you ever communicated in sign language, Bob saw it as an opportunity to gain a new skill and, in effect, find news ways to accommodate you

John even learns some of the important phrases simply to better himself and kind of redeem his past problems

"And this one means 'I love you'," Bob explains.

John scowls a bit, "...when am I gonna use that one?"

Until one afternoon, you sign 'I love you guys', and he has to silently cry in his room

These are little things in their eyes that they help you with, and you recognize all of them are genuinely trying

You're basically a member of the family, and all of it is from a special and loving place

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[jamiedc-they-them]

The friendships in this film, ok --

[jamiedc-they-them]

the em dash calls to me like the green goblin mask whenever I’m writing a fic

[jamiedc-they-them]

Thunderbolts Preference: Self-Harm Scars

A/N: I saw a headcanon on tiktok where someone thought that Bob has self-harm scars and I can't stop thinking about it. I have a lot of scars all over and it can get hard in the summer. I'm wearing shorts for the first time in years bc my mum and stepdad aren't home, so no one will see. I love being able to shed the layers and feel cool even when it's in the 80's. Idk. Just thinking about this more lol. 🖤

THUNDERBOLTS REQUESTS ARE OPEN

Bucky has been around a lot of people who self harm in dozens of ways. Seeing your scars isn't jarring or startling. He doesn't think of you any different. He notices them when it gets warm out. You've worked too hard not to hide them when the heat tries to boil you alive. He doesn't say anything, but you catch him looking, and it all comes bubbling up. You feel like you need to explain, as if you don't, then he'll jump to nasty conclusions. He stops you though, reminding you if you don't want to talk about it, you don't have to. You tell him anyways, wanting him to know it's all in the past. In return, he tells you about the scars around his prosthetic, how people stare, how self-conscious he used to be with it was newly healed. People can be downright cruel about those sorts of things. He'd never judge anyone for coping. He's happy it's in the past, though. The scars that remain are just reminders of what you've been through, not a definition.

Alexei can be a bit insensitive. When he sees your arms, he asks what kind of handler would do that to you. You, gently, explain that it wasn't a handler or anything, it wasn't the people who made you into what you are, it was you. You did it. Why? Why would you do that? The answer is complicated and doesn't make sense to someone who never thought of it as an option. You can tell he's getting worked up, upset, and this isn't the first time you've had to talk someone down and comfort them while disclosing this sort of thing. You tell him you don't do it anymore, but it'll be a long time before the scars fade, if they ever do. It's just how your body looks and you're tired of hiding it, sweating through thick layers when the rest of the world gets to cool off in shorts and skirts and t-shirts. He gives it a moment to think before he speaks again, taking on a fatherly role, when he says he's proud of you. Proud of you for healing, proud of you for standing up for yourself, proud that you for wearing what you want.

Yelena knew a lot of girls in the Red Room who self-harmed. Their scars are in places most clothing would hide so as not to "ruin" their perfect reputation. She would never judge anyone for their way of coping. She, much like the rest of the Thunderbolts, self-harm one way or another. She's happy you've healed enough to stop, though. It's on a mission that your clothes/costume gets torn, showing off the layers of scars underneath. She doesn't say anything, but when it's over and you're on the way back, you ask her if she wouldn't mind keeping what she saw to herself. Of course, she says, a little offended that you would think she'd go around gossiping about you, especially your body. She would never do that to anyone, but especially not you. She does make sure you know she'd be here for you no matter what and, after that, you do come to her to talk about it, especially when the urge comes back. Because it will, it does, but it's not about that. It's about finding ways not to give in to those urges.

Ava is the first person to see your scars. You end up getting hurt on a mission and she ends up taking care of you. To get to the wound, you have to take your shirt off. She makes sure there's no one around, wanting you to be comfortable, but you're adamant you can take care of yourself. She'll wait, though, and eventually the pain is too much. She ends up seeing all your scars, the both of you quiet. You can't look at her, but if you had, you'd never see a change in her features. She works quickly, diligently, and gives you back your shirt when she's done. You ask her not to tell anyone about them, and she promises it's just between you. A few days later, when she checks the stitches, she lifts up your shirt instead. You feel the need to tell her it was a long time ago that you did this, that you don't do it anymore, and she's glad, telling you so. She doesn't make a big deal out of it and nobody knows until you tell/show them. Ava is strict with her promises. Whatever she saw, it stays between the two of you.

John isn't the most subtle with his actions or words. He notices the marks when you're training together. You've stripped down to just shorts and a t-shirt, shedding the layers you typically wear as part of your costume. You catch him staring, but you try not to make a big deal out of it. He can't keep the comments to himself of course, and ends up being (unintentionally) insensitive. He says he doesn't know how or why people do that to themselves. You don't feel like explaining, but the more he goes on, the harder it is to bite your tongue. He knew a few people over the years who self-harmed, but called them basket cases, nut jobs, crazies. You wait until you've got him vulnerable, driving his shield into his chest, telling him it's none of his fucking business. You leave without explaining, practically running to your room to change. After talking with the others, he realizes what he said was wrong and apologizes, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. Around John, you intend to stay covered.

Bob has scars all over his body, though mostly his arms and legs. He pretends the warm weather doesn't bother him, says he doesn't mind, and the others don't think much of it, but you know what he's doing. Still, you don't want to draw attention to it. Only when he sees your scars does either of you say something. You thought everyone was out, that you were alone, so you wear shorts and a t-shirt. He finds you in the kitchen, clearing his throat so as not to scare you. Forgetting your scars, you turn around, offering him a jar of peanut butter. That's when he sees them: covering your arms, your legs, etc. Oh shit, you say, pulling back, feeling like a deer in the headlights. Bob doesn't make a big deal out of it, though, instead asking if there's grape or strawberry jelly. The next time it's just the two of you, he pulls up his sleeves, showing you without making a show of it. You go to each other when you're having a hard time and he's the first to stand up to John when he makes you feel self-conscious.