jasmineisyasmine
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letting out my dramatic side here
132 posts
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i think i'm slowly at the stage of "takpelah if parents or orang keliling tak bangga dengan aku, biar aku sendiri bangga" it's okay, we know the struggles. let's be happy on our own. 馃
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idk i'm tired of trying to be someone my parents can be proud of
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apa sebenarnya yang aku kena buat untuk parents aku proud dengan aku? untuk parents aku stop pandang negative and rendahkan aku?
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random hit of those shitty feelings really make me feel worthless-------
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did not expect whatever he said this morning would actually crushed me that i stopped eating and left at 6.40am. sobbing alone in the car was even harder. really thought i am slowly finding peace, i guess i am not. and i never will.
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ya Allah knowing whatever i do, i will never be enough for my father. it hurts
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why am i always the one who should tolerate whatever they say?
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always cleaning up every single mess by my brother. always. and when i don't, im the bad guy.
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bestnya tengok orang lain got to live their life, making decisions, kerja yang diorang nak
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it is amazing how they always make me feel like im lacking something and never enough
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"diamlah muka besar"
"kau jalan gegar lah"
"besarnya kau"
i get it. i get it before you do.
im ugly, i know that very well.
no need to shove that to my face as if i never notice.
i do, i notice it everyday.
and i'm sorry that i'm ugly.
i am trying my best since a month ago and nothing really changed.
i hate myself too for not being pretty like everyone else.
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