jasminekim

[jasminekim]

I've been rethinking, reforming, transforming inside, yet I can't seem to grasp what is truly underneath. I love the world, and I've loved so many people, and I want to love these people forever, but what seemed to be the purest and greatest bridges turned brittle and fallen down from my splashing around - I may have hurt others, I may have gotten hurt, and now it feels awkward to reach out, it feels awkward to turn things around, it feels too late to make happen and rebuild, and now and forever more, it's the highest priority for me to move forward, move on, and let them come back in warm embrace whenever there is space and time. I just want them to know it's all in good faith, there was no intentions for harm, that I just miss those Days

[jasminekim]

social media

Is there really an alternative to social media for the internet?

I don't think so. I think it's fateful almost that we can and want preservation of data and information of our networks, and I think we don't want epherality. I think we want what we want back and stored if we need. I think we want ownership of our data so we can do whatever we can with it. I think that is the truist end goal that we might want in our social preservation. Maybe we just need laws that require allowing users to export their data whenever possible.

And what's the alternative to just "platforms"? I don't know, it is plainly just group chats, salons, etc. It's how we work on top of our boundaries and restraints. Humans get creative with what we got -- and Life happens in a larger scale now; we can find the people we want to get to know and pursue our creative projects. There is no better alternative to connecting on the Internet but via platforms.

And each platform requires nurturing. It's centralized in that way. We have to vote / believe in the people that run the platforms. It's sort of how in-person communities work anyway; bars shut down if their owners shut it down or don't transfer over ownership. It's the same thing in digital, but just way more scaled. It's plainly how nature works, and we cannot fight its basic principles.

So it's more about constantly fueling the work, pushing forward with what you have. Living the life we want -- allowing space and healthier platforms and evolving together, finding ways to create room for the new or different based on what the waves bring in. Yes, Twitter has felt a lot more different from last year or two years ago, but it's also due to your own changing personal life. Social dynamics are constantly evolving, individually + hence collectively, and we might just have to keep adapting and riding out each wave in seasons.

[jasminekim]

Don’t doubt the direction you're going towards. You must just commit and show up every day. Gotta choose a fig off the tree. And just like figs from trees, you must know when they’re most ripe to pick from. There are seasons and timing to each you can “reap” from and they may show up differently for each person, but you must trust what you see and sense, and by picking early and more often, you’ll learn which ones came out better and whether they taste sour or sweet, you’ll come to appreciate the spectrum of flavors

[jasminekim]

I hope I’m rebranding ok

[jasminekim]

In the age of abundance, one way to stand out is to create one or two masterpiece, something weightier, than a series of small posts, fast apps, etc. And I’m not saying size has to necessarily be grand. It can be a writing as concise as a blog post, but it’s got to be something that you’ve poured your heart and soul into, a creation compact with attention to detail, and that's what a living breathing art piece feels like. I think that’s what people mean by art — it’s any craft or work that you’ve tended and devoted your fingertips to — and that’s what makes that work human.

In the age of friction, it was easy to showcase your attention to detail. Because it took that much more effort to bring about something witty and nuanced, because of the years and decades that it takes for someone to explore and soak in the endless layers of complexity.

But now, and maybe it’s always been, about showcasing your story. And you can tell it in a variety of ways, by writing a weekly personal newsletter or by filming a daily vlog to tell your story. You can create a large momentum through a series of frequent actions like this, or you can take your time and brew and continuously carve at an object of choice until you come out of it with deserved recognition and reward. The reward is whatever you’d want and need deserving. Accept that process to the reward wholeheartedly. And get lost in the process.

[jasminekim]

february 9, 2025

It’s fascinating how much effort I need internally to self-organize and get my energy into formation.  Like I need to wring myself through a web of confusion, questions, and paralysis to get any source of earnest inspiration to do anything. And this happens every other month. It seems hard to remind myself of reasons why I started something, or why I’d like to continue doing something that I’ve chosen to do. And maybe that comes from a certain lack of immediate results? Or a certain lack of joy from the process itself for sure. But if I dig deeper into the latter point, this lack of joy mostly comes from lack of doing itself — productively. And seeing no clear measure of progress and fulfillment of rewards. At some point, external validation is valuable and encouraging to feel accepted and find belonging to those who do relate. And that’s why it’s about friends that we make along the way that matters.

[jasminekim]

twtr is bad in terms of deconstructing and extending my feedback loop of validation. What matters more is revisiting and digging into the same topic again and again and finding joy and glory of that process and maybe finding some holy water along the way, but just enjoying the process of digging. And digging privately. It might be the year to finally quit the cycle. But I do care about engaging socially, I do care about sharing. But maybe people need to earn it.

[jasminekim]

Desires from the mind are fleeting. You can have many multitudes of desires form from various origins, but the only way they will come onto earth is by taking the first action with a plan, ideally 6-months long, and with an attitude that you will commit through all the lowest of lows and highs until you've achieved a goal that you'd be happy with. That's the core of human agency.

So the question is always when to call it quits. Well, the reward goes to the most tenacious. You choose the game you want to play, or you don't have to! For the longest time, I've cared more about being authentic, true to my feelings, but as I've been growing older, the journey of becoming is more appealing to me than floating through space now. Now that I've sort of observed and experienced a range of games I could play. I feel like deciding. I feel like playing hard and winning.

[jasminekim]

끝이 재일중요하다. 끝애머리 마무리. 그것이 나의 프로젝트

[jasminekim]

한글이 그리워서 쓴다

네 전통 뿌리를 보호하고,, 기억할려면 한글 글쓰기를 조금식 매일 연슾 해야 마음이 먹힌다

이 이유.. 참 중요하지만 이것 만인것도 아니다

많은 언어를 쓰고 말하면 우리의 생각이 새다르게 나타나고,, 특히 한글은 재일 과학적이라고 믿는다

내 머리 깊은곳에서 끄집���내는 연슾. 어디든 도움이 될것같다

초등학교 경험갖은 상태로도 더 숙련 늑힐수있다

할수있다

[jasminekim]

how to do hard things

How do you get in the habit of doing hard things? I always come back to the idea that we must be able to sit through something, be persistent at the problem, butt your head continuously until something cracks. Of course you have to do the work of cracking at it, and you must enjoy the maze. You must get patient at disentangling in order to become good at it. You have to almost become masochistic with it, rather than avoiding the problem. The disentangling act is often overblown inside the head - once you take a step, it turns out it's not as difficult as you've imagined it, but it does take consistent effort of simplifying the problem. Trying to carve down excess fat. Reminding yourself of the root problem. You must not forget. You must practice precision and dedication.. I'm tired lol

[jasminekim]

Do things because you care about your principles, even if it makes you feel or look vulnerable in the moment. It's all good to put yourself out there. People will judge no matter what, or they really don't care at all what or how you do life. Why give others benefit of the doubt, allow them voice, but not for yourself?

[jasminekim]

I think 2024 is going to be about stepping into the void, brewing in it, and letting the truth speak for itself from emptiness. I'd like to push myself to be comfortable in the vacuum, and let inspiration seethe out the surface throughout this process.

[jasminekim]

Time Reborn by Lee Smolin

PART 1: arguments for a timeless universe

newton's paradigm

deterministic. everything is predictable. we should be able to measure where the ball lands, given its initial position, velocity, and momentum based on the density of the air (the means), etc.

but of course this doesn't simply apply to the entire universe, which is entangled of causal processes which occur over time.

einstein's relativity

there is no absolute, universal time. time is a perceived relationship.

also no way to really tell which two events happened simultaneously, if far away enough

because there is no real "now" and no reference to the time now.. no meaning to past, present, and future. only causal structure (all just relationships between events), a timeless system of cause and effect between events. this is called block universe

quantum mechanics

also deterministic, like newton's laws, just different in that it calculates the probability of the end state, rather than the position, over time.

time is taken out of the equation again, and when this theory is applied to the whole universe, the state of universe already just is. It's frozen. and that there is zero energy and oscillation inside this universe in isolation, with the clock + observer placed outside the universe.

the modified schroedinger equation in frozen state is the famous de-witt wheeler equation. the disappearance of time is still a large topic of argument in this field.

philosopher julian barbour took this theory to heart and asserted that we're just living in a heap of moments (already defined and frozen) and that we're just experiencing them - probabilistically. there are moments that occur multiple times (based on probability of a quantum state) on relative frequency.

Einstein did apparently have trouble accepting his own grand conclusions in the end. He mentions that the Now is truly a precious human experience, and that it must be outside of the scientific realm to explain that phenomenon. well 🤷🏻‍♀️ it is probably as basic as just bringing back time into the equation of physics, and that is the entire argument Lee is making and supporting in the second part of his book.

PART 2: coming soon

[jasminekim]

books to read

God Talks With Arjuna: The Bhagavad Gita

Moby-Dick

- Something Incredibly Wonderful Happens: Frank Oppenheimer and the world he made up

Anna Karenina

Schopenhauer, The World as Will

The Death and Life of Great American Cities

Siddhartha

Entangled Life: How Fungi Make Our Worlds, Change Our Minds & Shape Our Futures

[jasminekim]

topics to write on

why writing is important to me (the goal of writing is to clarify direction in my daily actions and thoughts. people I see, books I read, anecdotes I hear all rise under this umbrella of idea I'm trying to see through. life as an experiment)

the other side. what you're missing on. we are always missing out on something, and humans crave what we don't/cannot have. and how we come to face reality with bad decisions sometimes

favoring the arena over ideation

[jasminekim]

List of things to do

aggregate playlist of top tracks I danced to this year

order new serum

finish "time reborn"

grab tickets to philadelphia

aggregate thoughts on "the other side" and color it in bold.

search for new puffer