jay88de

[jay88de]

The best thing to do is engage with whatever is before you. Don’t hide from it. Don’t run away, hoping it disappears. Don’t pretend not to see it. Don’t find a clever way to reframe it in an attempt to avoid it. Engage with it and be done with it. It may take minutes, hours, days, weeks, months and even years. Yet by the mere action of engagement, you begin the process of dismantling; understanding.

Otherwise, that hydra headed monster will grow two more heads tomorrow.

[jay88de]

So what do we do with our scars after winning the battle?

[jay88de]

There are times where I deliberately deploy naïveté and ignorance to lead the way. Particularly at those things that spring from my heart, my instincts. I keep what others have done and said, and are doing far away from me. I become blind, deaf and dumb. I seek to know nothing else. So, I’d write it the way it comes. Even when shaking with the urge to seek validation. oh lord, these have been some of my best creative days. They too are the days when my self doubts come to play. As it is, I accept both. They should become friends; the doubt and uniqueness. They should converse and whatever is agreed upon will be displayed for everyone else to see. Whatever the case, we aim to play well.

[jay88de]

Ignorance is rarely bliss. Ignorance always has a steep compounding interest rate. Whatever it costs now, it doubles the next day.

[jay88de]

And now that I’m free, I can create my own order.

[jay88de]

Second draft complete.

[jay88de]

Definitely a springboard year.

[jay88de]

The philosophies that we accept, guide our lives.

[jay88de]

Culture is a very funny thing. I’m consistently amused and shocked when I have conversations with my mom. The places we diverge and the places we converge. Then those parts where I honestly can’t understand why she thinks that, or does that. Yet I cannot give her an alternative. So I’d quietly remind myself that this exists. I mean I could say, that doesn’t have to be like this.

Then she’d listen and move on to the next thing. It falls off. I don’t understand how that happens, things falling off, then reframes the situation and repeats it. The thing is I can’t tell if people are genuinely happier by doing this. Because if they are, carry on.

[jay88de]

First draft written!

This manuscript took a long lot for me to write than I anticipated.

[jay88de]

Often the solution to the complex problem is incredibly simple.

[jay88de]

I never feel truly liberated than when I write. It seems for me to be free is to write.

[jay88de]

once you become an adult, it becomes your responsibility to deal with whatever happened or didn’t happen to you.

[jay88de]

When you go down the historical rabbit hole of most religions, it’s almost laughable why we take its doctrines seriously. Of course, these practices serve a purpose but it’s almost always for man’s benefit, whatever that is.

[jay88de]

That voice that people often say, says bad things about them to them, I don’t have it. Never had it.

[jay88de]

Sometimes I struggle with deep despair at life in general. I do wonder why it seems people are shouting over the other, wanting to say the smart thing. So much intellect, very little love. So much reasoning, very little warmth.

[jay88de]

It’s hard for someone to fool you with what you don’t value.