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You know, an R-rated Deadpool film is well and good, but I kind of want to see Wade show up in one of the regular X-Men films, too.

I want to see him hastily catch himself every time he’s about to say “fuck”, because he knows that the film - being rated PG-13 - is only allowed one F-bomb, and he wants to make it count.

I want to see him throw the ugliest tantrum when, after he spends the whole movie saving up that one allotted “fuck” for the perfect moment, somebody else uses it up before he has a chance.

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I love those Mickey mouse shorts but the one where Goofy vores Minny and Mickey then they both fuck inside him really fucks me up

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Charnel Hound Huge undead, chaotic evil Armor Class 16 (natural armor) Hit Points 220 (21d12 + 84) Speed 40 ft. Str 25, Dex 14, Con 19, Int 3, Wis 11, Cha 18 Damage Immunities necrotic, poison Damage Resistances bludgeoning, piercing and slashing from nonmagical attacks not made of silver Condition Immunities charmed, exhaustion, frightened, paralyzed, petrified, poisoned Senses darkvision 60 ft. passive Perception 10 Languages - Challenge 13 (10000 XP) Body Integration. Whenever a charnel hound reduces a creature of Large size or smaller to 0 hit points with a melee attack, that creature must make a DC 17 Constitution saving throw. On a failed save, the creature dies, and the its body is absorbed into the body of the charnel hound. When this happens, the charnel hound regains 20 hit points. If the charnel hound is destroyed, the bodies and equipment of all creatures absorbed by it can be retrieved. Horrific Appearance. Any humanoid that starts its turn within 30 feet of the charnel hound and can see it must make a DC 14 Wisdom saving throw. On a failed save, the creature is frightened for 1 minute. A creature can repeat the saving throw at the end of each of its turns, with disadvantage if the charnel hound is within line of sight, ending the effect on itself on a success. If a creature’s saving throw is successful or the effect ends for it, the creature is immune to the charnel hound’s Horrific Appearance for the next 24 hours. Unless the target is surprised, the target can avert its eyes and avoid making the initial saving throw. Until the start of its next turn, a creature that averts its eyes has disadvantage on attack rolls against the charnel hound. Sunlight Sensitivity. While in sunlight, the charnel hound has disadvantage on attack rolls, as well as on Wisdom (Perception) checks that rely on sight. Actions Multiattack. The charnel hound makes three attacks: two with its claws and one with its bite. Bite. Melee Weapon Attack: +12 to hit, reach 10 ft., one target. Hit: 20 (3d8+7) piercing damage plus 9 (2d8) necrotic damage. Claws. Melee Weapon Attack: +12 to hit, reach 5 ft., one creature. Hit: 17 (3d6+7) slashing damage plus 14 (4d6) slashing damage if the charnel hound has already dealt damage to the target with a claw attack this turn.

This massive doglike creature, with its craning neck and slavering jaws, is made from the bones and flesh of many victims. A crowning achievement of the evil art of necromancy, charnel hounds are found anywhere they can scavenge corpses. They can often be found lurking on battlefields, digging great burrows to hide from the sun in the daytime. A charnel hound is a fearsome foe capable of consuming its enemies, adding their corpses to its body. Sometimes a necromancer will use a charnel hound as a guardian, or as part of an undead army, perhaps as a mount. It stands around twenty feet tall and weighs almost eighteen tons. 

Originally from the Monster Manual III.  If there is a monster from 3.5 or Pathfinder that you want to see converted to 5e, feel free to send me a message or submit a monster request on the submit page.

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D4 Silly Rules

You as a DM may want to reward silliness at the table. Well, roll on the table for their special condition that if triggered produces a beneficial result. (Pavlov would be proud)

1) Four Syllables: When the hero uses a four syllable word (no more or less) they may spend 1 hit dice to heal in spite of the lack of down time. It is hilarious hearing the meat shield using absurd vocabulary.

2) Puntificate: When the hero says a pun before an attack they receive +1 to hit. If the player accidentally repeats a pun they’ve previously used this session, they have disadvantage on the attack instead.

3) Rofl: If a player says something that gets the table giggling or laughing (even if its not in game related) they gain an inspiration token.

4) Sing or Die: If the players sing a few bars of a song before a death saving throw they have advantage on the death saving throw, bu if they choose not to sing they have disadvantage instead. If the song makes the table laugh they automatically succeed without needing to roll.

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Hocus Pocus (1993)

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Street Art: Before & After.

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