jdtymns - Tumblr blog

[jdtymns]

as i let it be felt, i gave in to them;

to the things that i cant do.

[jdtymns]

im as transparent as i can be.

kapag magulo ang buhay. magulo ang gamit. ang kwarto ang pagsuuslat maski ang pag iisip. ewan basta mahihinuha agad na unstable atm ang lahat. this day 09.07.2023 ewan ko ba. makalat. nakakatulala.

trying to listen to some natsumes instrumental. kinda quite konti ng onti nKaktulong. i need divertion. i need to think others. hays. panic

[jdtymns]

having panic attack isnt gud.

nastrstress ako kais may work na madali lng solusyonan. pero nawawala ang cord ng laptop ko... ung frustration disappointment, anxiety, panic naghahalo halo. na kakaiyak kasi bakt ganun

naiirita ako na d ko alam sino pede masisi at ang petty lng pero hays.

nakakakaba... nakakaiyak.naiiyak ako.

self. wat have u done.

[jdtymns]

Last 4 months of 2023, The -ber months.

it will be great, it will be great.

[jdtymns]

good traits gone bad

perfectionism - never being satisfied

honesty - coming off as rude and insensitive

devotion - can turn into obsession

generosity - being taken advantage of

loyalty - can make them blind for character faults in others

being dependable - always depending on them

ambitiousness - coming off as ruthless

optimism - not being realistic

diligence - not able to bend strict rules

protectiveness - being overprotective

cautiousness - never risking anything

being determined - too focussed on one thing

persuasiveness - coming off as manipulative

tidiness - can become an obsession

being realistic - being seen as pessimistic

assertiveness - coming off as bossy

pride - not accepting help from others

innocence - being seen as naive

selflessness - not thinking about themself enough

being forgiving - not holding others accountable

curiosity - asking too much questions

persistence - being seen as annoying

being charming - can seem manipulative

modesty - not reaching for more

confidence - coming off as arrogant

wit/humor - not taking things serious

patience - being left hanging

strategic - coming off as calculated

being caring - being overbearing

tolerance - being expected to tolerate a lot

eagerness - coming off as impatient

being observant - being seen as nosy

independence - not accepting help

being considerate - forgetting about themself

fearlessness - ignoring real danger

politeness - not telling what they really think

reliability - being taken advantage of

empathy - getting overwhelmed with feeling too much for other people

[jdtymns]

inlove with the last sentence. ang ganda ng chosen words.

And just like that, the ex lowered his shorts and exposed his jewels right before me.

"gusto mo?"

I could have used the occasion for that much-needed sex since I have been dry for the last couple of months. But then I realized that this is clickbait. my ex is a nice guy, but he manipulates well.

"pagod ako" was my curt reply.

"wala ka naman gagawin" was the rebuttal.

I asked why all of a sudden the invite for sex?

"bayad sa board and lodging dito"

of course, I wasn't asking and will never require payment for his stay. and he can linger as long as he wants.

"i am physically tired, you know....work"

he wears his shorts anew and sat beside me. like the stubborn devil, he whispers the nastiest things we both can do while fondling my ears...

"diba me partner ka? na sobra mong mahal? bakit wala ka sa kanya?"

turns out, the stylist-lover got fed up with his parasitic tendencies and asked him to leave.

"piloto ka diba? bakit ayaw mo mag work ulet?"

and came the revelation that he is dealing with alcohol addiction, that he got fat and he felt useless. hence, the dependency to people willing to be preyed on.

the kalibugan tension felt earlier shifted to a more somber conversation as he started to talk and it seemed that he was being honest.

"pinatawad mo na ba ako sa mga sakit ng ulo na binigay ko? yung pera na di ko na mababalik?"

i could only nod. i have forgiven him already and came to terms that he won't be paying me for all the money he got from me. Sabi nga ng matatanda, "ilista mo nalang sa tubig."

i called it a night kasi baka kung saan pa mapunta yung usapan. the only key ask is for him to fix his life. i can only provide space for sleeping and food, but beyond that there is no more.

his demons, on the one hand, he has to deal with.

Not me, I am still waging my own battles.

[jdtymns]

pros and cons of ldr

pros:

u manage to live individually and being an actual individual. (sa iba, hidni ito magegets and not working. but its manageable naman; for me. hehe)

cons:

everything. especially if i like being having convo and being touched sexually or platonically. i just miss evrythng abt him. his presnce, his actions, his smell, his warmth, his dick.

[jdtymns]

Inktober 2017, 32/31: Sketch Dump

[jdtymns]

Inktober 2017, 5/31: The Swallow and The Crow THE SWALLOW and the Crow had a contention about their plumage. The Crow put an end to the dispute by saying, “Your feathers are all very well in the spring, but mine protect me against the winter.” Fair weather friends are not worth much. – Aesop’s Fables, translated by George Fyler Townsend

[jdtymns]

Inktober 2017, 26/31: The Fox and the Hedgehog A FOX swimming across a rapid river was carried by the force of the current into a very deep ravine, where he lay for a long time very much bruised, sick, and unable to move. A swarm of hungry blood-sucking flies settled upon him. A Hedgehog, passing by, saw his anguish and inquired if he should drive away the flies that were tormenting him. “By no means,” replied the Fox; “pray do not molest them.” “How is this?” said the Hedgehog; “do you not want to be rid of them?” “No,” returned the Fox, “for these flies which you see are full of blood, and sting me but little, and if you rid me of these which are already satiated, others more hungry will come in their place, and will drink up all the blood I have left.” Better to bear a lesser evil than to risk a greater in removing it. – Aesop’s Fables, translated by George Fyler Townsend

[jdtymns]

lucyboyy:

Hi, just wanted to show you the tattoo I got of your art today. ☺

Aaaaaa it looks amazing on you!! I really like the placement of the tat as well. Thank you for snapping a picture for me, it really means a lot.

[jdtymns]

Do u mind if people get tattoos of your inktobers??? :0

Nope! You guys are more than welcome to get any of my inktobers inked. If it’s not too much trouble, please send me a pic of the tat once it’s done, I’d absolutely love to see it. ´v`

[jdtymns]

Lithium

[jdtymns]

So there, I already came up with the idea of creating a mini vlog or video everytime I spend my day with me, myself and I, and so here it is!

I don't know why I really love using the Super 8 MM Film theme in my videos, as it is looks like old or vintage, well it really brings me to VHS or Old Cameras era.

Anyway, today is the start of long weekend, and I decided to treat myself in the place where I consider as Manila's best tourist attraction and that is no other than (drum roll) Intramuros! Actually, it has a lot to offer if you really want to talk about our history, and the walls tells it all.

It was so nice to get to know more the place, reading its hidden stories, and seeing how they preserve some of pictures and items from the past decades.

After walking around, talking to strangers and exploring Intramuros, I realized that it's time to get out of our own way and stop being our own worst enemy.

Colossians 3:2 tells us where we should place our minds - on things above. We don't have to accept or believe every though that comes to mind.

[jdtymns]

kung di ko na "maayos" buhay ko sana kahit yung maging masaya ibigay naman saken ✨

[jdtymns]

Months ago, I suddenly came up with a concept of preserving my memories. I always loved bokeh lights since my naked eyes would always see lights blurry. And light painting always made me curious. Although I'm not really good with photography, I'm just gonna share some of what I call "Light painted memories".

"Light painted memories (with you) : 04/28/2023"

"Light painted memories (with them) : 05/15-17/2023"

"Light painted memories (with myself) : 06-07/X/2023"

[jdtymns]

OMFG.