jeffbezos--official - Tumblr blog

[jeffbezos--official]

If Elon can't buy Twitter then I can!! That way I don't have to buy this hellscape.

Is someone over on Reddit trying to make this happen as we speak?

[jeffbezos--official]

*this is not a joke, or satire like the rest of this page*

If you are in a state that is/has put forward motions to criminalize abortions after the supreme court ruling, you need to be prepared.

If you have the means, stock up on plan B. Don't get brand name unless you really really want to as generic is significantly cheaper.

Do not just go and buy out your area's local stores of emergency contraceptives.

It is imperative that those are available in emergencies. Instead order them online. Daddy Bezos has options available for purchase, tho as you may have guessed from the way I post on here, I personally believe alternatives would be better.

Nevertheless, here's a link to the cheapest version I could find on Daddy Bezos' shop

My Choice Emergency Contraceptive 1 Tablet

[jeffbezos--official]

To everyone saying that I could end world hunger with my money:

But then how would I pay for my 43rd Mega-Yacht. Or for all of the historic and important bridges I'll demand be dismantled for my 43 yachts??

[jeffbezos--official]

To clarify, by spice up your life I specifically mean, your super special Jeffy-Jeff time for you and your right hand.

I'm Jeffery Bezos and you should get your hands on these finger puppets. They will help you to spice up your life.

[jeffbezos--official]

I'm Jeffery Bezos and you should get your hands on these finger puppets. They will help you to spice up your life.

[jeffbezos--official]

I admit I'm a little confused by the design. Where is the scroll button?

Coming soon to Amazon, the new gaming mouse designed by Andy Kurovets

The G-Point

[jeffbezos--official]

Coming soon to Amazon, the new gaming mouse designed by Andy Kurovets

The G-Point

[jeffbezos--official]

I'm thinking about buying Tumblr.

[jeffbezos--official]

I honestly believe capitalism is a little overated and maybe even outdated.

I think it's time to bring oligarchies back.

[jeffbezos--official]

As you all know, I'm far too rich to ever die, but I am still old enough to need pain relieving gel for my arthritis. I've decided to extend my good will and temporarily lower the price of such products on my platform.

Please give money to your Daddy Bezos.

https://www.amazon.com/dp/B084ZMMVQS/ref=cm_sw_r_apan_i_dl_XP78EYQ963W4HJPC2G6W

[jeffbezos--official]

Hey you.

Yea, YOU.

Did you like your package from Daddy Bezos? Did my coughcough slave cough employee leave it with the box of chocolates like I told him to?

Tell me how he did, I'll be sure to praise punish him!

[jeffbezos--official]

Y'all remember my dick rocket? It fucking rocked didn't it. I'm so fucking cool and awesome and I wore a cowboy hat.

[jeffbezos--official]

As you all now, I am the wealthiest person on the planet. As I am clearly all knowing, I've decided to raise the value of prime memberships. Our cherished consumers will have the honor to pay more money for the exact same thing!

Praise, rejoice!

[jeffbezos--official]

I, Jeffery Preston Bezos, have joined Tumblr.