jelsafan0

[jelsafan0]

I want you to remember:

The fascists hate you too and they just will pretend otherwise until after they've killed the rest of us, before they turn on you.

[jelsafan0]

this image can only be shared on Thursday, Sept. 12

[jelsafan0]

Currently devastated

Yesterday I had a thought in the Whataburger parking lot and I went “yeah tumblr would eat that up” and then I forgot to post it

Now I don’t remember what it was

:(

[jelsafan0]

Me trying to remember what that animal is called:

Chewbacca

Chupacabra

Chu

Chu

Chu

Chu-something

Chewy

Chupacabra

Chu

Chew

Ch

Does it even start with chu?

Uhhhhhhhhhhh

Chu

Chu

Chu

Chu

Chu

Big rodent thing

Fuck istg it started with “Ch”

Chu

Damn it

Fucking fine I’ll Google it

CAPYBARA

[jelsafan0]

[jelsafan0]

your momma so kansas uhm her house fell on a witch.

[jelsafan0]

[jelsafan0]

[jelsafan0]

Like to charge reblog to cast

[jelsafan0]

not to oversimplify an extremely complex discipline but if i had to pick one tip to give people on how to have more productive interactions with children, especially in an instructive sense, its that teaching a kid well is a lot more like improv than it is like error correction and you should always work on minimizing the amount of ‘no, wrong’ and maximizing the amount of ‘yes, and?’ for example: we have a species of fish at the aquarium that looks a lot like a tiny pufferfish. children are constantly either asking us if that’s what they are, or confidently telling us that’s what they are. if you rush to correct them, you risk completely severing their interest in the situation, because 1. kids don’t like to engage with adults who make them feel bad and 2. they were excited because pufferfish are interesting, and you have not given them any reason to be invested in non-pufferfish. Instead, if you say something like “It looks a LOT like a tiny pufferfish, you’re right. But these guys are even funnier. Wanna know what they’re called?” you have primed them perfectly for the delightful truth of the Pacific Spiny Lumpsucker

[jelsafan0]

i hope that one day i will finally be ok….i’ll make a cherry pie when it is all over

[jelsafan0]

So apparently Tumblr ate my original post about this but:

A couple weeks ago I’m going to get lunch and as I open the fridge, my mother attempts to communicate to me that any chicken currently in the fridge is ok for people to eat, because the chicken that was intended for the dog to eat has been used up.

What she actually says is, “That’s human chicken.”

After taking a minute to process all horrible implications of the phrase “human chicken”, I decide to go a different route and hold the tupperware of chicken out to my sister, saying, “Behold, a man!”

This was evidently the wrong choice, as it meant I had to explain to my parents who Diogenes was, thereby cementing the incident in their minds and leading to me, just now, opening the fridge to see the following incredibly cursed image:

[jelsafan0]

Best thing to cross my dash all year

[jelsafan0]

toph: i wonder if fossils have enough rocks in them for me to bend?

toph: i wanna bonebend a dinosaur