jemineye

[jemineye]

the gods meet in the morning to decide my symptoms for the day: fatigue? of course, make it crushing when she wakes, but let it fade in a few hours. completely? no, but enough to give her hope. and leave it like that until evening? no, we can start to increase it again when she goes downstairs. what about pain? only in the forehead to start with, like a tightness she can't place. then we could give her a headache that won't go away no matter what she takes? excellent, and let's make her head tingle. with ringing in ears? naturally, but only in the silence. what if she tries to listen to music? we make her ears rattle, and she will feel too sick to continue, as if the flu has taken hold. do her eyes hurt? they are dry, and they ache when she moves them. we could make her throat hurt, like a knife digging into the side? i like it, but only when she closes her eyes, to prevent too much rest. if she tries to walk? she will grow breathless, and her heart will erupt with beating. and all that until nightfall? all that until nightfall. and should we then let her sleep? no.

[jemineye]

sending love, support, and 50 quid to disabled people with these hell symptoms:

chronic nausea

itch

numbness!!! fuck this guy

the tingles

when ur head feels so weird or woozy it's like ur a funko pop

vertigo

the tingles part two: in your teeth this time

light sensitivity

nausea again bc it sucks

heartburn

[jemineye]

[jemineye]

What pisses me off the most is how hypocritical people are when it comes to disabilities, if you complain, you need to suck it up, if you stay silent, suddenly your pain/challenges disappear.

I am well aware I'm "lucky" to be able to do the things I can do, but just because I can do something certainly does not mean I should or that it won't cost me

When I was a kid at some summer camp, they had a children's wheelchair in the play hospital, and I decided to sit in it for whatever reason. Anyway, a while later, I was still wheeling around because my hips felt better when I was sitting and not moving around. And suddenly now I could still move around while sitting, thus minimizing my pain. I was having a great time and none of the other kids wanted to use it, but then, of course, a teacher saw me and told me that I'm not supposed to use that anymore because it's only allowed in the play hospital.

And then, this is never brought up again, I was barely a kid how would I know that my legs shouldn't hurt when I walk, and even when I did bring it up I was always dismissed as just exaggerating or making it up. Which, mind you, was not a healthy mindset, I literally permanently fucked my knees because I was so scared of being yelled at for "faking" my pain. Had I had the confidence to tell someone that my knees were injured, I would be in so much less pain both today and back then.

[jemineye]

“A pop can tab opener? Who needs that?”

It’s not for you.

“Why would anyone get a hairdryer holder, just use your hands to hold it.”

It’s not for you.

“Portable collapsible stools are proof of how lazy this generation is getting.”

It’s not for you.

“A chord assist for a guitar? Why don’t people just use their fingers like everyone else?”

IT’S NOT FOR YOU.

Fun fact! Not everything is about or for you!

[jemineye]

My favorite time of year where my mental illness and my physical disabilities throw hands with each other <3 mentally ill brain goes SUN!! GO OUTSIDE IF YOU DONT GO OUTSIDE YOULL GO INSANE LIKE A CAGED DOG GO IN THE S U N ! ! and my bones and my heart go nO do NOT go in the sun if you go in the sun you will pass away immediately and then be unable to anything ever for the rest of the day and so my choices are go insane with cabin fever or pass the fuck out on the concrete

[jemineye]

yeah, sorry i exhibited symptoms of the disorder i told you i have. it will happen again because i have that disorder and will continue having it. hope this helps!! 🫶🫶🫶

[jemineye]

hey!!

thought id give you guys an updated pinned post 🩷 im Jocelyn! im 26, witchy, and wheelchair bound ♿️

i was pretty well known in the AHS/ Evan Peters fandom as @/evanfuckingpeters and @/cheerocracyxx as my main before i deleted a couple years back. im still very much a fangirl from AHS, to SPN, to Euphoria, to Ginny And Georgia 🩷

also a big disability advocate! i want to spread awareness of any and all disabilities because we deserve to have a voice and fight for a better future

this is a safe place for everyone 🩷🩷

(image depiction - pfp is just my face and all the pink is my hair. cover photo is a close up picture of a lighted candle (not my photo))

minors - DNI

[jemineye]

Lincoln, NH! birth of AHS's Kit and Alma Walker, which were inspired by Betty and Barney Hill 👽

[jemineye]

"Actually many disabled people do contribute to society" is not a great argument against eugenics, by the way.

[jemineye]

[jemineye]

“oh but its just your shoulder!” - you may see a disabled person and think something along the lines of this.

(or whatever body part/system you can see is affected.)

but many abled people seem to find it very hard to grasp just how much of their daily life relies on such body part.

which is understandable because why would you be thinking about how much you rely on your shoulder. yours works!

but imagine if every single time in a day, where you went to use your shoulder, you had someone pinch you. youd be surprised by just how fast youd get tired of being pinched.

not to mention that having just one health issue is not exactly the norm within the disabled community. bodies are too complex for that 🥲

[jemineye]

Hobbies that able bodied people recommend as very accessible but actually aren’t; (if you find these exhausting it’s ok - many do and you aren’t weaker or less than or unworthy or being a “buzz kill” or “over dramatic” bcs you need more rest than these hobbies provide💓)

Reading - eye strain, hand pain - it’s expensive in general and more expensive if you need physical aids to help you do it.

Knitting or crochet - this one feels more obvious - sure your not going for a hike but this is a lot of movement for people who either have fatigue, foggy brains or inflammation😗

Shows or movies - more so but then there are the flashing lights, bright color, many sounds and if you’re like me the brain fog can make you feel pretty stupid when trying to keep up with the plot.

Collectibles - expensive! And often requires a lot of travelling to get limited editions or to explore second hand shops to chance upon one of those items.

Video games - I’m gonna cut to the chase and just say anything with bright colors and loud sounds and lots of hand stuff is pretty much the last thing many disabled people want to do on a flare day. Quick response times too can really suck when the fog is just consuming every single coordinated thought!

Cooking or baking - it’s alot of standing if you don’t have an accessible kitchen. And having a kitchen like that can be expensive or at least very time consuming as you travel from second hand shop to second hand shop to find the needed equipment.

Yoga - fuck off. It’s so obvious why this is an issue just like strength training and cardio.

This is not at all to say that disabled people can’t do or can’t enjoy these things. It’s more to say that what is easy for an abled person isn’t necessarily easy for a disabled person. And that doing these tasks exert excess energy. Even our hobbies tire us at time and require a lot of effort to have.

I love reading and knitting and writing. And I do it when I can but I’m aware my hands aren’t as nimble and happy with me so I can’t do it as much as I want. I work out too but to my limits and I’m aware that if I fuck up and do too much I will have consequences (if I can even do that thing).

My point really starts and ends with; a disabled person remains disabled even when doing cosier or nicer activities. And those tasks cost spoons just like other ones. And those tasks can be harmful when a person is not in a position to enjoy them - which can be more often for a disabled person. So it’s important to have a level of empathy for the kind of rest people need and their limitations (which may not be in places you expect).

[jemineye]

I hate how often some (typically abled) people will go “well, if you can’t [get a specific support], then what?” when it comes to disabilities. As if it’s a “gotcha” moment. And then act like you’re exaggerating when you answer that question honestly.

Disabled people often die from a lack of support. A lot of disability aids are not a luxury, but a basic need in order to live.

“Well what happens if—” people die. People hurt themselves. People hurt others. Disabled people don’t magically become abled if our needs aren’t met.

If a bedbound quadriplegic is caught in a housefire, and there’s nobody there to save them, they’ll probably die. They won’t magically become able-bodied out of sheer will.

If a nonspeaking/nonverbal autistic is denied access to alternative methods of communication, they’ll suffer in silence. They won’t spontaneously become capable of speech.

Disabled people are disabled all the time. Our disabilities don’t go away just because they’re inconvenient, or if we’re in danger.

[jemineye]

Can we normalize disabled people experiencing human emotions?

So often ableds expect me to act like a perfect little inspirational angel, when in reality I’m a human with emotions like the rest of y’all.

I don’t want to have to smile after you tell me you’d kill yourself if you were in my situation.

I don’t want to grin and nod while you treat me like a child and pet my hair.

I don’t want to laugh it off when you tell me about your friend who had my condition and died.

I don’t want to generously share my deeply personal medical history with a stranger I just met on the street.

I want to cuss and call you out on your BS, not sit compliantly in my wheelchair like a sweet little angel.

[jemineye]

“She didn’t need to be saved. She needed to be found and appreciated for exactly who she was.”

— j. iron word

[jemineye]

Unpopular opinion

I don’t want a self driving wheelchair that can go up stairs. I want ramps elevators, and curb cuts.

I don’t want a solution in 20 years, I want it now. I wanna be able to go to the mall with my friends and not have to worry about stairs. I want to go the movies and actually chose where I sit. I want to go to a park without having to parkour my way through cracked pavement and curb drops.

I want accessibility and I want it today.