jennam12310 - Tumblr blog

[jennam12310]

I am about to open and read it. I am both excited and sad it is the last chapter.

omg it’s FAN FICTION FRIDAY

Reblog and promote a fic of yours <3

[jennam12310]

@mouseonamoose i think about Angel-Centered every other day. I like it that we read it slowly, bit by bit, but i have so many thoughts about how it might end. Will you tell us?

Everyone has been so remarkable supportive as I've taken ages to finish up Angel-Centered, being careful never to push or pressure me to finish up. It's meant so much to me! There were some times when that unpressured support was what I needed.

Now, though, given where I am, I think I could use some gentle pushing. Help me get too the end of this last lap.

[jennam12310]

Haha, this is funny, but i have nothing to tell 21 year old me. He was doing just fine, and she needed all this experience. I wish they accepted their non-binary nature back then though.

What advice would you give 21 year old you?

Everything changes beyond absolute recognition

[jennam12310]

This is awesome!

catch me monching on @chernozemm's cottage wives like an everlasting gobstopper

[jennam12310]

Hi, how is your day?

The Great Boop really made me want to be more active and interactive here on Tumblr. I'm going to try to be more of a person here, although I have no idea if I'll be successful.

Hi, everyone!

[jennam12310]

Oh. My. God. This. This is exactly how this book should look like. I want it!

Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach, a Good Omens fanfic by @mouseonamoose

After surviving the events of the apocalypse, Anthony J. Crowley goes to therapy. This fic is a well-researched and rich depiction of trauma therapy from the perspective of the mental health provider.

Bound in premium cotton from Worldcloth decorated with silver hot stamp foil and a hand painted foreedge. Frontispiece artwork generously provided by @rjrjrjrjrjrjrjrj. To enhance the reading experience, the typeset of this book was further annotated with additional commentary on the psychotherapeutic process (see footnote example.)

This book was bound and gifted to a fellow clinician in a different medical field as part of the @renegadeguild Mini Exchange, 2024.

[jennam12310]

Thank you. I did not know i needed to hear this

hi nnm! i didn't send the previous ask about post-s2 fic in the demonology universe, but i would genuinely LOVE to see how you imagine crowley processing the events of the final fifteen in session with aubrey. the way he gradually processed the bookshop fire in demonology was really moving, so i can't imagine how demonology!crowley would begin to approach his feelings about aziraphale leaving for heaven at the end of s2, especially because he doesn't have all the answers! i do want to echo the previous anon in expressing my hopes that this isn't coming across as pushy, rather enthusiastic instead. i'm thankful that you choose to share your writing with us! have a lovely weekend!

Yes, I agree! I would love to do this, too. I've been toying with different ways it could go, depending on how we interpret the final 15 and what we anticipate Crowley will be doing at the start of S3. There's just so much we don't know. And I want you to know just how much this grinds at me.

But here's one thing.

I think that Crowley is actually in a better psychological state at the end of S2 than at the beginning.

What is Crowley doing when we first encounter him in S2? He's sitting on a bench, sighing about how pointless everything is. He looks depressed, and it makes sense. He doesn't have anything to do, and Crowley doesn't do well when he doesn't have anything to do. Even worse: he no longer has access to the motivations that previously inspired him to do things. He doesn't have to try to outsmart Hell anymore; he doesn't have to work against the forces of both Good and Evil to establish his own, personal 'side'. He has everything he has ever been able to admit to understand himself as wanting, and it's making him miserable.

By the time that Crowley gets up from the bench in that first scene, he is a lot more animated, a lot less despondent. And, note, there are two things that have happened that can explain this: 1) He has learned that there is Something Going Down In The Up, which of course could imply that he and Aziraphale may be at risk; 2) He sees some guys feeding ducks bread. This is why Crowley manages to shake off that mopey attitude by the time he stands up: both of these are sources of friction. They give him something to act against. Now, he gets to yell at two guys that they're doing something bad--er, wrong--er, harmful-to-ducks. He gets to plot and spy and scheme to learn what's going on in Heaven, despite the fact that clearly the forces involved don't want anyone to know.

Put Crowley in a frictionless environment, filled with endless possibilities and no limits, and watch him just slump down into a puddle of What'sThePoint. Give him friction, though--tell him there's something he can't do, give him a threat to fight against, put him in front of something stupid and wrong--and he comes alive.

It's almost as if, Crowley... Almost as if, uh... By his very nature... I mean... Well, it's almost as if there's something adversarial about him, huh?

In order for Crowley and Aziraphale to get their Happily Ever After, Crowley needs to learn how to act from internal motivation. (Know how he's "always too late"? Yeah, that's what happens when you don't know how to be active but only ever reactive.) After S1, we all liked imagining the two of them retiring to the South Downs and taking up hobbies and being happy... But, am I wrong, or did we all realize that wasn't really possible yet, given how we know both of them to function? The Crowley at the end of S1 and the start of S2 just isn't someone you can imagine actually doing it. Something has to change, in S3, for it to become possible.

This is my take on Crowley, at least: his biggest enemy is boredom. He doesn't know how to avoid it, though, unless there's an externality forcing him to act.

S2 begins with Crowley having nothing to do, and he's miserable and irritable and depressed. S2 ends with Crowley in emotional turmoil, yes, but now he's got plenty of external friction to motivate him. He's got to protect Aziraphale despite Aziraphale now making it so much harder to do, and he's got a Second Coming to stop. This isn't a demon who's at risk of self-harm, or a demon we can imagine is driving off to go take a decades-long nap somewhere. No, what we see at the end of S2 is a demon on a mission. (What is it? What is that mission? Argh, how are we supposed to survive until S3?)

If Crowley hadn't been there, outside the bookshop, when Aziraphale and the Metreon came out, then that would be a different story. I would be absolutely terrified for him, in that case, because I would take that to mean that he's given up. He's stopped fighting against The Plan, he's lost the will to struggle. But, no: he's there. He hasn't given up. He's scheming, and he's planning. Sure, he's boiling with rage and pain and plenty of other hard things, but that's the sort of environment where he knows how to thrive.

Does he need therapy at the end of S2? Oh yes. Oh hell yes. But he's functioning how he knows best how to function, and he's got plenty of motivation to keep going.

[jennam12310]

Hm... maybe i need to look at it more attentively

Hey, uh... I don't actually talk about fandom stuff all that much (unless it involves me 😏), but, uh...

Factory Settings is, like, really really good. You should read it.

[jennam12310]

@mouseonamoose Why, did people ever say bad things about your work? Seriously?

Turns out, you can get people to say very nice things about you and your writing if you disappear for a long time in the middle of a project.

Lesson learned!

[jennam12310]

If there is any natural light in the bathroom, the tree will love the humidity level and grow like hell! I saw a lemon tree in a bathroom before, of a house far in the north and it was doing perfect and providing the family with fresh lemons. So, a lime tree in the bathroom makes sense.

can you come back to earth faster? i think you need to talk my parents about citrus trees in the bathroom

i dont know their motives

Why do you have a bathroom lime tree?? To grow piss limes???

[jennam12310]

I

(Human) Crowley’s eyes in “What We Make of It (Shotgun Wedding)” by @charlottemadison42

[jennam12310]

Well, much more than a couple, i daresay! You wrote a best known fic of all time in this fandom!

[jennam12310]

So true!

"fanfics can never compare in quality to a published work" honey, there are fanfics that easily surpass the quality of the work they were based on

--

[jennam12310]

Based on Nnm's Angel-Centered Therapy Through A Multicultural Lens: An Integrative Approach @mouseonamoose (this scene is in chapter 14)

[jennam12310]

me seeing the word "demonology" in my psychology textbook

[jennam12310]

Makes me want to start bookbinding

After three weeks of almost obsessively working on this project I've finally completed it! @mouseonamoose amazing fanfic Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach (read it if you haven't already) is a hardcover book I can hold in my hands and put on my bookshelf now. It's not perfect, I made some mistakes, but I'm proud nonetheless:

The headbands I made red and black on the top for everyone's favourite demon and the bottom I made white and gold because you can't have that demon without his favourite angel:

And how could I not think about Crowley and Aziraphale when I found this amazing design of the words demon/angel? I just had to put that on the end papers. I hope it's not only me who can see the word demon this side up and angel if you flip it on its head:

And here a bit more of the insides:

Thank you mouseonamoose, not only for writing this amazing story but also for inspiring me to pick up this hobby of bookbinding again. I can't wait to read it again now.

[jennam12310]

Ooh, the contract says "Antony J Crowley of Mayfair London". Not of Hell, no!

Honestly, the Crowley presentation scene at the graveyard already gave him 99% away: not only Hastur tells us exactly what’s wrong with Crowley as a demon in the eyes of another demon (“The flash bastard. Gone native. Enjoying himself too much. Wearing sunglasses, even when he doesn’t need them.”), not only Crowley looks so handsome, so lively, so blended in, in contrast to the obvious outsider and rotting looks of Hastur and Ligur, not only he outright skirts the ‘Hail Satan’ greeting; he’s also BURNT BY THE FIRE the moment he signs the contract. I haven’t seen many talks about this moment, but it always makes me pause. He’s hurt by HIS OWN fire.

I don’t know how else to interpret this other than he is not one of them anymore. Already. And in a way, he never was. To be fair, that has always been quite explicitly stated in Crowley’s demeanour toward Hell. We will see him through history lie to them without a shred of guilt, thwart the Apocalypse since the very beginning, kill a demon even. Chronologically he’s already done a lot, sure, but audience-wise THIS is shown to us in the first. ten. minutes. of. the. show. And those ten minutes include the YOU WHAT?! bit.

Anyway this is what, Hellfire? It sure looks like fire he’s producing himself, so it shouldn’t hurt (Hastur isn’t hurt by his own fire when he lights his cigarette). But it does, somehow.

We also know that Hellfire does nothing for Crowley when he switches places with Aziraphale and goes through the fire column in Heaven. That might be specific to the case (or depending on his extremely vivid imagination), or because it should be Aziraphale in his place, but I think the whole point of The Switch is that Crowley is not bothered by Hellfire and viceversa.

But here in the graveyard, Crowley is NOT on board with Armageddon. Signing his agreement to deliver the Antichrist, he knows - or the contract knows, anyway - that he’s not going to follow through, doesn’t want to follow through, that he’s signing while being unsincere about his allegiance. He’s consciously not complying with this mission, and because his imagination is so powerful, his fighting manifests physically in his hand being burned, makes him physically incompatible with the contract.

Ever since my first watch there’s always been a part of me who wondered: what if they hadn’t switched places at the end? Now I am not sure if the holy water/hellfire thing is an on/off switch button, meaning that it either kills you or it does nothing to you, but I daresay that if it’s not, and Crowley is *really* a little bit burned by that Hellfire, then there’s really no guarantee that Crowley couldn’t pull off surviving holy water after all.