jerrytheduck

[jerrytheduck]

🐧🐧

[jerrytheduck]

wait my question is how many of us didn’t grow up with f1 and didn’t get into it thanks to drive to survive… put in the tags where you’re from and what year you started watching and maybe why/how you started watching

[jerrytheduck]

canonically, yes.

Link to Taylor's feed

[jerrytheduck]

I’m pretty sure people did literally see him with his family at disneyland during the Australian gp

I really hope that right now Checo is relaxing on a sunny beach with his family, sees the driver swap headline pop up on his phone, turns it off, and takes a long sip of some tropical drink.

[jerrytheduck]

“average person eats 3 spiders a year” factoid actualy just statistical error. average person eats 0 spiders per year. Spiders Georg, who lives in cave & eats over 10,000 each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted

[jerrytheduck]

[jerrytheduck]

Important on-the-ground reporting from Willy B

[jerrytheduck]

you're watching the F1 movie. Max Verstappen hits Sonny so hard that he crashes and the car catches on fire. as Brad Bitch heroically climbs out of the burning car, a soundbite of Max saying "simply lovely" plays over Hans Zimmer's beautiful soundtrack. the leitmotif of "Doo Doo Doo Doo Max Verstappen" is heard faintly in the background, played menacingly on a trombone amidst the sound of crackling flames and a stirring orchestral crescendo.

[jerrytheduck]

In light of the new trailer, just want to once again reiterate the absolute absurdity of the F1 Movie world-building that I talked about in this post (please read it I worked so hard). The other drivers in this movie are canonically the real drivers. Brad Bitch is scrapping with canonical Esteban Ocon and canonical Max Verstappen. And these drivers are probably not playing fully-fledged characters! So if Brad Bitch takes damage, or gets spun off, or rolls and crashes into the barrier and catches on fucking fire.....he can't confront or be confronted by the other driver involved. Forget anyone asking their engineer if he's ok, or checking in with him at all, literally no one else will give two shits because they can't.

And if any of this does happen, it will probably be a one-off, poorly-acted cameo that's played as...a cameo, rather than an actual scene that is immersed in the world and taking itself seriously. Once again, I will be shocked if this movie makes it at all believable that any drivers besides Sonny and Joshua actually exist in the world of the film.

Will every crash somehow just be about a lack of team synergy??? Or a self-own solo flop?????? Like how could they possibly not need to talk to any drivers in an actually serious scene for any extended period of time for this movie to literally just...work??????

So yeah once again this world-building choice is hilarious and so needlessly complicated it baffles me. Why would you do this to yourself. This is so funny.

[jerrytheduck]

Old news but this was Gax Beef *to me*

[jerrytheduck]

The Goo-Goo Dolls are dead to me/ The way you should be too (NIKI, Backburner)

Clarification this post is not supposed to imply that Yuki should just up and leave Red Bull... I'm very aware that there aren't really options on the grid for him rn which is at least partially the fault of Red Bull's management style.

Quote sources top to bottom: "Marko confirms" | "Marko has publicly..." | "F1 News" | "Inside Red Bull" | "Having realised" [auto translated from Japanese] | "Next season" | "In hindsight" | "Marko makes" | "On each occasion" | "I think" | "Lost Hope" Interview Clip [transcribed from video] | "Keep Destroying" | "A Lie" | "For now" | "We're acutely aware" | "Really Interesting" [comment on previous article]

I forgot to save the sources for my photos... sorry! If you want them, please let me know and I'll track down the original for you.

Huge shoutout to @toffee-and-tandoori for collecting many of the photos and articles I used for this post!

[jerrytheduck]

what i think f1 drivers send as holiday cards

(From me, the employee of a vaguely boutique print shop)

Max: family card with Kelly and P, probably something basic but classy. Flat card on silk cardstock. Multiple pics from a technically good but very pinterest millennial family photoshoots in an empty field, where everyone is wearing white and or jeans.

Alex: photo collage flat card-- they couldn't wrangle everyone to do a photoshoot together so it has to be a collage to get everyone in there. The back has some punny message (like Meowy Christmas etc) and the names and ages of all the human and animal children, mixed together without any delineation between species.

George: aggressively christmassy in a Christmas Carol fruitcake kinda way, not a religious kinda way. Uses a swirly cursive holiday font with the little mistletoe wingdings on either end and says some very old grandma ish message on the front like "Yule Tidings." No photos, just a folded card w/ paintings of cozy winter scenes.

Carlos: Is part of the Sainz family card. One photo of the entire family and their pack of crusty white dogs. Uncomfortable amount of Tradition and general religiosity emanating from the Christmas message they pick. But it's in Spanish so if you can't read Spanish it can't hurt you.

Nico Rosberg: something awful and labor consuming like a trifold card on textured watercolor or linen paper. Formal indoor photoshoot, with matching outfits. Will demand to see multiple proof versions and be charged extra in design fees for changing font and paper stock five times, but the final result will EAT. Long and detailed note on the inside of all family happenings and several shoutouts to his lovely wife. It's a Christmas card but a rather secular one.

Lewis: That vaguely beige textured paper with the little crunchy threads in it, flat 5x7. Maybe one candid photo of himself, everything else is photos of roscoe and or his extended family. New agey nondenominational holiday message printed on the front.

Lance: Bummer that his family is like, problematic because I have great trust their design sensibilities. I am thinking something very elegant like nice beige heavy weight cardstock with some kind of texture to it. Gold foil Hanukkah card with embossing and a wax seal on the front.

Valtteri: Bottass photo card. (Flat card, silk cardstock.) Like the front is entirely a collage from the shoot, and the back is an actual candid photo of him and Tiffany riding bikes together or something. Maybe a pic of the family reindeer.

Anyway, merry christmas eve and also happy hanukkah to all my moots and the lovely people of tumblr dot com :))

[jerrytheduck]

unhinged West Wing + text posts Onion headlines (pt 6/?)

[jerrytheduck]

A fun fact about me is that my back hurts.

[jerrytheduck]

(but in all seriousness please don't be weird about an unborn child and or infertility even if u don't fw kelly or max thanks)

[jerrytheduck]

Opinions on siblings?

neutral

[jerrytheduck]

brotato

brotahto