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jesse-m-r · 6 years ago

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“I did, I think I wanted to trust you, so I had no choice but to do so. I had to believe I could trust you. If I didn't I would be too frightened. I knew you could have it in you to treat me with gratitude and to see me as an equal. The humanity is not dead in you. I could feel it, even if you did not show it or if you insisted that it did not exist. I think you tried hard to scare me. I was scared!” Laughing she turned to him, “You were definitely frightening,” giggling she recalled the night . “But I had to fight through the fear to get close to you. It worked didn’t it? It wasn't for nothing, you did get to see another side to a human, to a person, as you haven't let yorself discover for a while...for decades, am I wrong?.... I don't know what you have gained, I am probably simlar to you, in that I am not content with my life, as are others. Maybe that's what drew me to you. What I had to lose, it wasn't as great as what I think I have gained, with this new life. Maybe we are different. You did not choose to be this way, you were apalled at Marius, he was a monster...”

“I think the reasons me and David were so interested in you and Marius is that there was something undiscovered and profound for us. We are historians with a love for human development, and this isn't always in the right direction. Having studied different cultures and periods in time, we are rarely satisfied with the types of people society produces. Not on an individual level, but the movement towards different mindsets. For us, to observe you, was not simply an escapist fantasy, it’s something like a connection with the decades of accumulated social growth which still carries the remanants of the past. I do not believe in my studies of Egypt, that there is a simple purpose for the pyramids. It is something more. I believed that history tells us more than we could ever divulge about it ourselves. Through our own lenses people usually taint their own understanding.”

“My discipline shows me that it shouldn't be believed that our current civilisations are at their best. Having the family background of ancient vampires, this branch of my family I was always connected to, I grew to realise I wanted to be fully a part of that. And I asked to walk with you, in your world with your experiences. It wasn’t a superficial longing. People take their traditions to the next generation, short years lend to passing on of traditions, for vampires, there’s more room for development. Your higher senses and ability to delve into historical knowledge you’ve gathered along the way.”

Jesse contemplated many things; Humans, their blood holds no power, no ambition. Short years and easy prey are all they have to offer…and a beating heart…

Not enough time to absorb knowledge, experience. Not general experience, but a higher sense of existence? Did Lestat sense an ancient vampire family in her blood? In addition did he sense her own personality traits, her uniqueness to other humans , making her differnt to the emptyness of most others. Are the ancient vampires in possession of special skills, more evolved than humans in a way? Strength coming from a diferent sense of being, and sensitivity for the spiritual. They are more in touch with life in that way, than humans? The ones who are empty and have blood which is powerless and lacklustre. Does Lestat think people are emptier that ever before, losing further touch with spiritual, natural intuition and unable to pick up the spiritual frequencies? Perhaps due to their social structures and understandings they have built up. What do ancient vampires know about the world and humanity? Mysteries that people are unable to solve, do vampires know them? Are they at least more easily able to sense and find the truth?

When you have learned something, it doesn't require such effort anymore. It becomes natural. It is absorbed into the multitude of abilities already present, second nature lacks a challenge however. The diffulies and barriers stumbled upon within the discipline of archaeology, anthropology and history are there because of established views. How can an adolescent pursue higher learning when they have learned nothing at all? Humans too young in their existence to unpick the muddled ideas the short amount of time has produced. I think vampires are able to learn through the ages.

“I was drawn to your life and my relatives'.They have something else in possession. Not the glamour of or the idea of immortality, but being able to have the potential to transcend something bigger. I have always dreamed to find the secrets historians can only speculate. Learning and unlearning is both of both importance. I longed for this because I felt it was right to, it could mean a different perspective on life for me and I felt you were a part of this world. Even if it all, all that I assumed could be was wrong, I knew I had the chance to experience something unusual and I wanted to live alongside you more than anything.”

Ooc: If you ever return and read this I’ll be here.

Reunion || Jesse&Lestat