jessie-bug06

[jessie-bug06]

They will shocked and they will be scared.

That’s how small I’m getting.

[jessie-bug06]

how to not binge

first let’s understand why you’re binging…

you miss the food. you miss the flavor and you miss the freedom. that’s okay. restricting your diet is hard especially because you’ve had a taste for high cal foods and they taste great, i won’t lie. but i have been able to go about 2 months without binging, even though i miss the flavor.

my lw was at the beginning of the pandemic and i was eating like once every three days (because of my ocd). i got into recovery this year but i don’t think i was mentally ready for all the weight gain so i restarted my rexie journey about 2 months ago and i’ve lost a significant amount of weight (about 25 lbs)

now how to not binge!

actually enjoy your low cal meals. savor the flavor and really enjoy it. don’t eat them with the mindset of “this will make me skinny”, eat them with the mindset of “this is actually good food”. the more you start to look at these foods as delicious and tasty, the less you’ll want the high cal foods. look forward to the meals you cook. experiment with flavor and different textures. and remember it’s okay to miss that burger and that pizza, but there’s a whole world of different flavors you have yet to explore in low cal foods!

as i’m writing this, i’m having my breakfast: black coffee, a can of tuna with salt and pepper and some unsweetened applesauce. it might seem like bland food but i genuinely love the bitterness of the coffee and the sweetness from my saliva that follows after i’ve drank it, the savory and slightly spicy flavor of the tuna (i’ve always loved tuna since childhood so this one was pretty easy to like) and the applesauce, it’s like a treat and a fun little snack. i even consider it akin to candy, so i don’t feel the need to eat actually candy.

it’s a mindset to get into. just remember that you don’t have to suffer to be skinny, you can enjoy food while losing weight.

[jessie-bug06]

im not even that triggered by thinspø, i just like having my eyes on nice bodies, reminds me that i can have the same

currently fasting, how does it feel so powerful to have an empty stomach?

[jessie-bug06]

i'm so FUCKING TIRED of being the fat funny friend!!!!!! i'm so SICK of pretty girls who use me as a HORRID example to feel better about themselves!!! i'm DONE letting people use me so i can get in social groups!! only if i was fucking thin and pretty!!!!!! >:[

[jessie-bug06]

About me:

18, college freshman, biology major. I like fanfic and musical theatre, smoking weed, drinking dirty Shirleys to get shitfaced :)

I am first and foremost a girls girl!

I'm not going into this skinny, I am currently a size 18/20 and 5'10, 242lbs. I'm well aware this is like massive to a lot of y'all, which is one of the main reasons I've been so hesitant to really make my blog.

I weighed like 235 my freshmen year of high School and got down to 208 in three months, but I slowly regained. When I stopped playing volleyball (June 2023), I quickly went from 216 to 246, and have bounced around the 30s and 40s. I want to get down to 208 for now.

My problem is binge eating at night. It's the only thing keeping me fat :( i don't know how to cope with it and it's just very stressful. I have adhd and am trying to get an Adderall prescription which i've heard might help!

Anyway, if y'all are in some kind of similar boat or just apart of the Ana community, lets be moots!!

Love y'all,

Jessie Bug

[jessie-bug06]

Why is this so hard for me?

I do so good, all day, every day, and then after I just... fuck it up. I have no self control and at this point it's embarrassing. What do you mean I can't stop myself from eating? Literally the one part of me I don't like is how big I've gotten, and the fact that I can't change it is insane. All I have to do is eat a normal amount of calories. I can't even restrict properly so I have to settle for like 1400. I could be pretty, I could be skinny, but for some reason I just can't. Honestly it's pathetic at this point. Ive been trying to loose weight since my freshman year of high school, and here I am in my freshman year of college and I'm even heavier. It just feels impossible...

[jessie-bug06]

Locked-InSpo

[jessie-bug06]

tw slightly m3ansp0

something some of you need to remember is that you are not special. you are not the exception to the rule. everyone can lose weight. you can. it is physically impossible for you to be that exception who just "can't". you are not special, you can do what literally many of us did, and get your dream body.

stop complaining & do the work. :)

[jessie-bug06]

I hate when people say that people don't judge others bodies and to love yourself. At work one of my coworkers was laughing calling the girl in the drive thru a cow because she looked like she gained 20 pounds over summer.

People do notice. People do care.

[jessie-bug06]

don't complain about the results you're not getting from the work you're not doing.

[jessie-bug06]

Cat thinspo? Cat thinspo.

[jessie-bug06]

Things to read before you eat or for your fast <3 :

-fat lasts longer than flavor

-this months choices are next months body

-you are what you eat

-are you hungry or bored?

-nothing tastes as good as skinny feels 🎀

-eat for the body that you want, not for the body that you have

-junk food you craved for an hour or the body you craved for years?

-losing weight is hard, being fat is hard, choose your hard

-do it for the “wow you got so skinny”

-do not reward yourself with food, you’re not a dog

[jessie-bug06]

my personal wl motivation

↬ increased confidence

↬ buying sizes s/xs and 2/4

↬ wearing tinyyyyyy shorts

↬ being swallowed up by oversized clothes

↬ easily able to be picked up

↬ CPR works better

↬ stares and compliments

↬ enhanced discipline and willpower

↬ no acne

↬ ribs + hip bones + collarbones show through

↬ more space in chairs

↬ being able to pull my knees to my chest in my desk

↬ reactions from family members i haven't seen in a while

↬ crossing legs gets more comfortable

↬ saving money not buying as much food

↬ experiencing pretty privilege + the halo effect

↬ face and nose slimming down

↬ calves slimming down (i hate my calves especially 😩)

↬ being smaller than my friends

↬ not feeling like a f@tass eating junk food

↬ decreased cravings and appetite

↬ feeling lighter

↬ being referred to as "skinny" or "small" or "tiny"

↬ NEVER having to be insecure about my weight again

[jessie-bug06]

You want to lose this? You really want to get rid of this?

Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat. Just don’t eat.

Just. Don’t. Eat.

You really want to lose it? You fully mean it?

Regret hurts more than hunger. Regret hurts more than hunger. Regret hurts more than hunger. Regret hurts more than hunger. Regret hurts more than hunger. Regret hurts more than hunger. Regret hurts more than hunger. Regret hurts more than hunger. Regret hurts more than hunger. Regret hurts more than hunger. Regret hurts more than hunger. Regret hurts more than hunger.

Regret hurts more than hunger.

You’ve got this. Have self control. You’ll lose the weight.

[jessie-bug06]

⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆｡°✩₊✩°｡⋆˚⁺ ⁺˚⋆｡

[jessie-bug06]

reasons to keep going

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· ·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· ·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

1- you can have your dream body soon

2- you can have your dream clothes

3- to be the skinny friend

4- feel better about yourself

5- so you become th1nsp0

6- get closer to your goal

7- have friends/relatives call you skinny

8- people asking you how you did it

9- not being ashamed to eat in front of others

10- look better in pictures

·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· ·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:· ·:*¨༺ ♱✮♱ ༻¨*:·

don‘t give up <3

ana loves u

[jessie-bug06]

I look at myself and all I can see is this weight that’s suffocating me, hiding the person I want to be.

But I can imagine it—how my arms would look so delicate, how my bones would show through like I’m something fragile, something light. I’m not there yet, but I will be.

One day, I’ll be dainty and breakable, and all this extra weight will be gone. That image keeps me going. I just need to keep pushing, and I’ll finally become the fragile, beautiful version of me I’ve always wanted to see.

I can't wait to finally meet that version of me 🫶🏻