jhn-watson

[jhn-watson]

25-5-24, The Toaster Test

“John, you must see this,” Sherlock announced, bursting in with a toaster wrapped in wires.

“Tell me that’s not from our kitchen,” I groaned.

“It’s not anymore,” he said smugly. “It’s a prototype lie detector.”

Mrs. Hudson gasped from the doorway. “Sherlock, that’s my vintage toaster!”

“Vintage is just obsolete with charm,” he dismissed. “This detects micro-expressions. Revolutionary.”

“It doesn’t work,” I muttered.

“Lying,” he said triumphantly as the toaster beeped.

Lestrade arrived, already annoyed. “Holmes, why did you call me?”

Sherlock gestured at the toaster. “It’ll solve your next case. Trust me.”

Minutes later, we stood in the ruins of a tech company fire. Sherlock grilled the sweaty CEO while the toaster beeped wildly. “Did you start the fire to hide fraud?” Sherlock asked.

“No!” the man protested. The toaster beeped.

“Liar!” Sherlock exclaimed.

“It’s detecting sarcasm,” I whispered.

As the toaster beeped itself into a frenzy, the CEO’s phone buzzed. Sherlock seized it, scanning texts. “Ah, an offshore transfer. Convenient timing.”

The case wrapped up quickly, much to Lestrade’s relief. As we walked away, I smirked. “What’s next, Sherlock? A murder-solving coffee machine?”

“Don’t be absurd, John,” he replied. “Coffee machines lack precision.”

[jhn-watson]

22-5-24

It’s quiet in the flat today. Sherlock’s off somewhere—said he had a lead that required his “personal touch,” whatever that means. I didn’t bother asking. He tends to leave out details when he’s in a hurry. In any case, it’s left me here, alone with Cipher.

He’s staring at me again—Cipher, I mean. His green eyes are so intense it’s like he’s trying to tell me something. I sometimes wonder if Sherlock trained him to read human emotions or if it’s just his natural cat-like ability to see more than we do.

The little bugger has decided to settle himself on Sherlock’s chair. Typical. He’ll stretch across the cushion, paws hanging off the edge, tail flicking lazily as if to say, “This is mine now.” I’d scold him for it, but… I don’t know, it feels wrong somehow. Almost as if Sherlock wouldn’t mind.

I’ve been staring at the same page of this book for the last twenty minutes. Can’t seem to focus. It’s odd—this feeling of something missing when he’s not here. And it’s not like he’s chatty when he is here. Half the time, he’s engrossed in some experiment or staring at the wall, lost in his own thoughts.

But it’s different when he’s gone. Like the flat itself changes. There’s a heaviness in the silence. I catch myself waiting for the sound of the door creaking open, for his abrupt arrival, spouting something about evidence or a new theory.

Cipher’s purring now, filling the room with a low hum. I should be annoyed at him taking over Sherlock’s chair, but instead, I find myself smiling. The way he curls up, so content—it’s peaceful. Almost grounding, in a way.

I imagine Sherlock would say something about how “the cat is indifferent to sentimentality” and scoff at my musings. But there’s something about this place that feels less empty with Cipher here. Maybe Sherlock keeps him around for that very reason—though, of course, he’d never admit it.

It’s nearly 3 PM. Sherlock said he’d be back by now. Funny how, after all this time, I still feel a little… expectant, waiting for him to walk through the door. It’s not that I miss him—no, that’s ridiculous. It’s just that this flat doesn’t quite feel the same without him.

Cipher’s purring has slowed. He’s settled deeper into the chair, looking as though he owns the place. I think I’ll join him in waiting—until Sherlock returns to fill the space again.

[jhn-watson]

21-5-24, The Diamond’s Dare

Today was supposed to be a quiet day. I was on a peaceful walk when I got a text from Sherlock: “John, return to the flat. Finally have a new case, come.”

So, back to 221B I went. The moment I walked in, Sherlock looked up from a small cardboard box on the table, grinning.

“You’re late, John.” Sherlock said. “I was five minutes away. What, did you expect me to sprint?” I retorted. “I texted you six minutes ago, that’s late… Anyways, someone’s stolen a priceless diamond from the British Museum,” he said, gesturing to the box.

“And… this box is…?”

“Our invitation,” he replied. “It was delivered to Scotland Yard this morning. It contains three things: a single white glove, a scrap of black silk, and a card.” He handed me the card. Scrawled in bold letters was the message:

“Catch me if you can. – M”

Sherlock looked positively delighted. “A challenge! And from a thief with flair.”

The day led us across London, chasing clues left in the oddest places: a silk handkerchief tucked behind a statue, a note taped under a café table, and, inexplicably, a half-eaten sandwich on a park bench. Sherlock found a pattern in all of it – something about misdirection and making us look ridiculous.

Finally, our last clue pointed to an abandoned theater. We arrived, and in the spotlight on stage, there he was: a slim, well-dressed figure with a grin that was a bit too wide for comfort.

“Sherlock Holmes, Dr. Watson,” he greeted us, voice as smooth as silk. “I’m Moriarty.”

Sherlock, of course, wasted no time. “You left enough breadcrumbs to feed a family of four. Just showy, really.”

Moriarty chuckled. “I aim to entertain, Mr. Holmes. And you, Dr. Watson.” He looked at me with that unsettling grin. “You make a fine sidekick.”

I didn’t get a chance to respond before Moriarty was off on one of his maddening, cryptic monologues about “keeping things interesting.” He clearly enjoyed leaving us tangled in riddles.

But before he vanished, Moriarty tossed a small pouch our way. Inside? The diamond – as if it were no more than a party favor. He shot us one last grin. “Consider it a warm-up.”

Then he was gone.

Back at the flat, Sherlock sat in his chair, staring into space. Finally, he muttered, “This… Moriarty… he’s not like anyone we’ve dealt with before.”

And I’m left wondering just how much more “entertainment” he has planned.

[jhn-watson]

Sherlock is genuinely so annoying sometimes. I was trying to enjoy a nice walk but now he needs me 😔. At least we got a new case though.

[jhn-watson]

19-5-24

Since we haven’t really had any cases the past few days, I just wanted to give an inside scoop about my daily life besides cases.

A while ago I moved in with Sherlock, and surprisingly we have been getting along really well! And a few days ago while we were out running errands, we found a small black kitten on the side of the road.

Surprisingly, Sherlock immediately took interest in the kitten, picking it up and taking it back to the flat. He already seems to love the cat (shocking, right?) and already has come up with a name for it. He named the kitten “Cipher” like the nerd he is.

He also claimed he would be posting a photo of Cipher on his tumblr (mainly because I told him to). So be on the lookout for a potential post by “0nly-consulting-detective.” But to be honest, this cat has stolen his heart. He tries to act unamused and cold all the time, but whenever he sees Cipher he almost becomes a crazy cat lady!

[jhn-watson]

17-5-24 Death in Downward Dog

Today, Sherlock and I were called in to investigate a murder at a high-end yoga studio. Yes, you heard that right—a murder in a yoga studio. Apparently, one of the regulars, a man named Gavin, had been found lying face-down on his mat during the “rejuvenating” final pose, only he wasn’t breathing by the end of it.

When we arrived, Sherlock wasted no time in sniffing around (literally) and examining every yoga prop in the room. He poked at the essential oil diffuser, muttering about “overpowering scents,” before zeroing in on Gavin’s mat, which had a faint, oily residue.

Turns out, someone had swapped out his eucalyptus spray with something far less therapeutic—poison. A quick analysis confirmed it was aconite, a deadly toxin that doesn’t exactly come from your average health food store. After a bit of deduction (and some dramatic flair from Sherlock), we identified the culprit: another yoga regular who just so happened to own a rare plant shop on the side. Apparently, Gavin had made some “unfriendly” remarks about her store’s prices.

The case wrapped up quickly after that, with the culprit carted off by Lestrade. Sherlock’s only comment? “Maybe yoga isn’t as relaxing as people think.”

[jhn-watson]

16-5-24 The Phantom Hacker

Today, Sherlock and I were approached by our first client that wasn’t Lestrade. They had told us that their bank along with a bunch of other important banks in London got hacked. This hacking caused a bunch of important information to get leaked, however, they weren’t able to trace it to an exact person so they asked us for help.

We decided that we would help them out with this to try and find the culprit who hacked these banks. The further and further we dug into this case however, the more confusing it became.

Turns out that this hacking wasn’t directly caused by a person or a group of people, it was done by AI. We tried to dissect the AI as much as we could to figure out where it came from. However, not much information was revealed. The only thing we found out is that it came from “Moriarty” (whatever that is??).

This wasn’t the most satisfying close to a case but we literally have no other leads to better solutions. Hopefully one day we can figure out what a Moriarty is.

[jhn-watson]

14-5-2024

Nothing really going on today. Sherlock and I are just out in London.

Something funny did happen, though. There was a couple arguing in a restaurant, a woman accusing her boyfriend of cheating. Sherlock was getting annoyed by it so he tried to “solve” their argument by proving how the boyfriend was cheating with his deduction skills. This pissed the woman off because of Sherlock intervening into their “private matter” and the woman cursed both him and her boyfriend off before leaving.

Sherlock is still a tad bit frustrated with how she reacted LOL.

[jhn-watson]

A Study in Magenta, 13-5-24

Today was quite the day. Turns out that Sherlock is actually a detective, and an impressive one at that too!

Inspector Lestrade paid us a visit, informing us that another man had died. He told us it was tied to the other ones who had previously randomly died but this one left a note unlike the other deaths. This got Sherlock more excited than ever. We headed immediately to the crime scene to investigate.

When we arrived at the crime scene, there was a dead man lying on his side next to a cabinet. He had scratched “Rache” into the wooden cabinet. Sherlock somehow immediately deduced by the blunt damage done to his body and his writing that he was trying to spell “Ratchet” but just ultimately sucked at spelling. Sherlock then started looking around and found a ratchet covered in blood, clearly a murder weapon.

We eventually left the crime scene, stumped because of the lack of enough evidence for a culprit. The next day, however, another man went missing and died. Sherlock once again was able to deduce what happened and found the murder weapon, a screwdriver that was used to stab the man. However, Sherlock this time was able to find enough evidence to lead us to a culprit.

His name was Jefferson Wright. He was a car mechanic and a cab driver. He had explained to us that he was killing these men because of bounties placed on them by his boss. He also said that he could only use what he had to his disposal (which were his car repair tools) to murder them. (Which is pretty fucked up, but oh well). We never found out who his “boss” was, but thankfully that man is imprisoned now for life.

I can’t help to think though that Sherlock did all of this mainly just wanted to show off his smartness to me, but who knows.

[jhn-watson]

Introductions, 12-5-2024

Hello! I am John H. Watson. I heard about this platform through a friend when they found out I liked to blog, so I thought I’d give it a go!

Recently, I came back from war in Afghanistan, and times have been tough. I was talking to one of my pals, Mike Stamford, and I had mentioned how I was looking for a place to stay. Weirdly enough, he said that someone else had asked him that earlier that day. I asked who and he introduced me to this… strange man…

His name is “Sherlock Holmes” and he claimed to be a consulting detective? He said he was the only one in the world because he made up that career himself (pretty cocky for him to state that but OK whatever). Even though he is quite the odd fellow, I think we might be able to get along.

We haven’t discussed how we will be covering rent or anything like that, hopefully those issues get fixed soon. Either way, I plan to start blogging more frequently and hope you guys will enjoy reading about my daily life!