jigsawletters

[jigsawletters]

I can’t be the only one...

I can’t be the ONLY person who doesn’t want to see another TV series do ANOTHER online reunion, special episode or reboot...am I???

I’m not ungrateful; I DID watch the #ParkandRec reunion episode and I both loved and appreciated seeing all of those characters and their stories hold up over time. It made me want to go back and watch the series over. But one of my favorite parts about the occasion is that they used it for a good cause. As of May 2, the episode helped raise $2.8 Million for COVID-19 relief. That’s putting your fandom to good use! 

I know it’s not all bad, in addition to the stellar virtual performance of the #ParksandRec crew, I loved seeing the full cast of The Nanny do a table read (including seeing the woman who is responsible for one of THE best TV theme songs ever perform it live!) and I’m still looking forward to seeing the Community cast in their special episode (almost entirely because Donald Glover is speculated to be part of it). But other than that, I think I’ve seen all of the special episodes and gatherings that I need for one quarantine. 

(And I say that knowing that there are talks special episodes of Friends and The Office in the works.) 

Don’t get me wrong; I would love a walk down TV memory lane. I long for days that I could watch simpler, more classic shows like Family Matters or Step-by-Step instead of watching Love is Blind or Tiger King through my fingers because of the cringe factor (...that doesn’t mean I didn’t watch the though). But with more and more shows cluttering the already bogged down airwaves, I find myself tuning out more than logging on. I think that’s because each altered episode is just a reminder that things aren’t normal right now. And if we’re being honest with the circumstances we’re facing right now, they won’t ever really be the same.

The same can be said for these shows. We loved them. We were loyal. We knew them as part of our lives for a time, but now things look and feel different including our experience with them and the escape that they used to give us. 

So, instead of watching the reunion/table read/zoom-isodes of Orphan Black, Caroline in the City or Lizzie McGuire, I’ll continue to say RIP to my favorite old shows and search the digital world for a new series to dive into.

Any recommendations??

[jigsawletters]

recommitment.

Someone told me yesterday that May is National Recommitment Month. 

Who knew? 

I sort of figured that January was the official recommitment month; new resolutions, roll-over resolutons that didn’t quite make it across the finish line the year before, taking a second stab at resolutions that we outright failed on (likely before the end of January). 

But it makes sense that recommitment month is in May. At this point in the year, we’ve done our best to think of the habits we want to adopt and have worked 8 to 12 weeks to make it happen, if we’re really lucky. By month 5 of the year, it’s tough to keep going to the gym, meditating every day, saving more than we usually do. That’s a long time to keep up a good habit. 

As if that weren’t hard enough, we’ve all had the monotony of self-isolation to factor in for the past several weeks--7 weeks today in my case. Honestly, there are only so many walks around the neighborhood and home exercise I can do before I let the bottle of wine and Netflix take me away. But along comes May! It’s a chance for us to refocus on how we wanted to start the year or even thow we wanted to start our quarantine. What did you start off wanting to accomplish? What did you think that this new year/WFH time/month was a chance to accomplish? What were you most concerned with maintaining? 

It’s hard to think about those questions when so much has happened. In 7 weeks, I’ve struggled with anxiety over having a job, worried about the health of my family, I’ve agonized about how much time I waste everyday on things like TV and social media, and I’ve attended a virtual funeral. I’ve also rediscovered that I love reading and writing, mapped out personal career goals that I had abandoned, painted for the first time in my life, and exercised every single day. I didn’t start self-isolation planning for any of the bad that’s happened of course, but I also hadn’t planned for any of the good. In fact, if you had asked me yesterday, I would pretty confidently say that none of those things were goals that I even had for the beginning of the year. BUT, for fun, I tracked down the notes I made on New Year’s Day to see what I had made a committment to focus on, back when things were “normal”:

-Be more ecofriendly

-More exercise

-Write more (blogs/thoughts)

-Read more

-LESS PHONE

-Explore new hobbies and activities

-Yoga + meditation

-Build a business

-Better mental health

-Create a cleaner more comfortable and space to live/rest

-Drink more water

Guess what? For the most part, these are things that have happened as a result of self-isolation because of COVID-19, whether I wanted them to be or not. This absolutely bizarre reality created space (unknowingly and unfortunately) to accomplish some of the things that I wanted to committ to 5 months ago but probably wasn’t doing so well at 7 weeks ago. 

I still don’t know what to make of the times we’re living in right now, but the best thing I’ve decided--really committed myself to--is taking it one day at a time. I’ve committed to living in uncertainty, but still living well. No, that doesn’t mean taking risks like going to pubic places without a mask on or ignoring social disntancing guidelines. But it does mean focusing and refocusing on what I knew I wanted at the beginning of the year to help me live well. I can still work on those goals and even more importantly, I can figure out how to maintain and weave them into whatever my post-COVID life looks like...whenever we get there.

Think back to January 1st. Think back to your first week of self-isolation. 

What did you start off wanting to accomplish? 

What did you think that this new year/WFH time/month was a chance to accomplish? 

What were you most concerned with maintaining? 

What have you learned about or started that you want to make part of your daily life?

Use those things as a spring board for this new month. Use May as a chance to make a simple day-to-day reocmmitment to live well. Don’t weigh yourself down with 30-day expectations and “no cheat days” and unrealistic deadline. 

Start off National Recommittment Month with the intention to living well, right now, just as things are. 

[jigsawletters]

Table for 1.

I’ve been pretty fortunate in my life to be able to travel to different cities throughout the world. Paris, Abuja, Medellin, Dubai. I don’t know the stats on it, but I’d say I’ve had the chance to travel more than the Average Joe, and probably much more than the average gal from Hattiesburg, Mississippi...or Mississippi in general (sorry, y’all).

And, if you know me, you also know that I never miss a meal, especially in new places. This girl likes to eat and even more so, I like to enjoy a meal. So naturally, having just moved to a completely new city at the end of 2019, I started finding my quiet time and comfort in my meals. 

Then along came COVID-19. 

Everything and everyone around the world has stopped. I’ve got a lot to say about the good things that have happened during this time of world-wide pause, and while I miss dining out, this has given me a great chance to look at some of the BEST meals I’ve had over the last few years, including my first memory in my new hometown.

On my first night in Raleigh (15 hour drive, 2 movers for my apartment and a major shopping trip to Target later), I stumbled upon this incredible restaurant with an open kitchen, rose petals on the table, warm decor and, from what I could see, really beautiful food. 

Rosewater. (@rosewaterkitchen) 

For someone who had just coughed up a good chunk of change for moving expenses, I wanted to be mindful of my budget, but also knew that I needed some time to myself to process what I had just done: packed up all of my belongings into my car and a 5 x 8 trailer, said goodbye to my mom, dad, partner and life-long friends, rolled into a new city, and was preparing to start a new job the next day. 

My brain wasn’t even close to being capable of comprehending all of that so I let my stomach do it for me. Needless to say, I splurged WAY more than my bank account needed me to. I’m talking about a ‘5 dishes, 2 cocktails, more than one dessert and a cappuccino’ kinda splurge. But I couldn’t have asked for a better introduction to my new home.

 It was a long and lazy dinner.

I started with a cocktail (surprise, surprise) called the Bouquet 75, described on the menu as:

“Dark Pink Rose of Gratitude & Appreciation” Bombay Sapphire Gin, rosemary syrup, lemon, sparkling rosé wine.

For whatever reason, before I took a sip, I looked around and smiled, and said a small prayer of gratitude. I had been in a new city for less than 12 hours and I could already tell how different I felt. I was sitting in a restaurant alone with no deadlines looming, nobody interrupting my dinner to ask questions, no worries about who was watching me. I felt like I had space to breath and, just a few hours, feel light and free fir the first time in way too long.  

...but I was also hungry. 

When I sat down, the restaurant was relatively calm so I had time to watch everyone in the kitchen and around the floor come alive as more and more people trickled in. I took in the details of the space--low lights, fresh-cut plants and flowers, warmth from candles on the table. 

I officially started my meal by ordering a few appetizers, including prawns in filo (opal basil, salsa tomatillo, aji amarillo) and burrata & heirloom tomatoes. I also had an order of local artisan bread that came with greek olives and olive oil. 

As I would later find out, most of the ingredients and items served at Rosewater were locally sourced or made. An A+ for any restaurant and community, in my book. 

I munched for a white and glanced over the cocktail menu again. This time, I noticed something familiar: the Sun Drop cocktail was made with Cathead Vodka. 

There’s nothing particularly unusual about seeing Cathead Vodka on a cocktail menu, but it instantly gave me a sense of pride and tugged on the strings of my heart that were still so closely connected to Mississippi. Of course, like a nerd, I told my very kind server that I was new to town and that in fact, Cathead Vodka was made in Jackson, MS. And of course, I ordered the Sun Drop next.

I decided on a meal of Poulet Rouge (half of a roasted chicken, sumac, thyme, coarse salt, salsa verde), and an order of sweet potatoes (poblano vinaigrette, ricotta salata, roasted brussels, pickled onion, pomegranate). 

I can’t describe enough exactly how complementary everything was, all without being overpowering or too rich. And I have NEVER said this before, but the vegetables may have been my favorite part of the meal. 

Everything I had experienced so far was incredible (I even toyed with the idea of another entreé) but I never leave without dessert if I can help it. 

I should note that the other outstanding part of this restaurant was the service. Not only was my personal server personable and accommodating--reading that I wanted to take my time but was also still attentive and conversational--but the entire staff was as well. And I do mean the ENTIRE staff. The General Manager, Manager, other servers, chefs--each of them stopped by, asked how my meal was and chatted for a bit. Just that hint of ‘Southern hospitality’ that I’ve always know gave me comfort. 

Mike, the General Manager, gave me 2 recommendations for dessert: flourless chocolate hazelnut cake (chocolate cardamom gelato, Frangelico cream) or panna cotta (orange, fennel, saffron, blood orange sorbet, fennel pollen). By this point, between the service, cocktails and on-point dishes, there was no ‘OR’ between the desserts--I got them both. 

I. REGRET. NOTHING. 

Both desserts were delicious, down to the last bite. 

I capped off the night with a cappuccino and the kindest surprise that Mike and bought my dessert and coffee as his way to say “Welcome to Raleigh”. 

Needless to say that I waddled out of Rosewater with a heart full of gratitude and eyes wild with possibilities for what this new home could be. Since that first night at Rosewater, I’ve been to over a dozen other resturants throughout Raleigh + Durham and I have memories from them all. 

I wouldn’t dare diminish the impact that Coronavirus is having around the world and in every sector of economy, but my hope for getting to the otherside is left in dreams of having a charming meal, delicious food and great company again. 

I think my first stop will be at Rosewater. 

[jigsawletters]

Got a WFH (work from home) hack to share? Need a good laugh with strangers from across the county? Just want to talk to someone aside from your own family? Come on down! Go to tinyurl.com/WFHwinddown to sign up for the ZOOM call on Saturday at 2pm EST.

[jigsawletters]

One of my favorite things from when I was a kid was a yellow nightgown my mom sewed for me. It was nothing fancy; soft, plain yellow fabric and long sleeved. I wore it until I literally got stuck trying to get into it.

I’ve always loved the art behind sewing and making things. That would likely explain why I’ve watched every season of any Project Runway-esque show in existence (loved Fit for Fashion!). But for whatever reason—laziness, probably—I never picked it up as a hobby. To this day, my dad will pull out the sewing machine and the plastic yellow “sewing caddy” from the bathroom closet, turn on a lamp, sit at the dining table and mend his own clothes. Sometimes he hems pants. Sometimes he patches holes. But every time, he methodically gets it done, stitch by stitch, until he’s satisfied.

I can only hear “these are strange times” so many more times before my ears bleed, but it’s true. For a lot of us, these are strange times because we’ve never had the chance to live them before. Maybe you’ve never had the chance to be a stay-at-home mom or dad. Maybe you’ve never had the time to properly plant the garden you wanted to. Maybe you’ve never had the chance to make banana bread from scratch (like I did!)

But now you do. And that’s strange. Not stressing over a booked calendar and racing against traffic is strange. Having time for selfcare and a long walk outside (with a mask and away from others) is strange. Making your meals and having time to sit down and enjoy them is strange. But isn’t it MORE strange that all of those things are out of the ordinary?? Shouldn’t it be more strange that we barely take care of ourselves and aren’t satisfied unless we’re running on fumes?

This isn’t hustle-shaming by any means. I love to be #bookedandbusy just like the next millennial but I’ve also fallen so much more in love with what life could be like without the chaos of the grind. I like the joy I get out of opening the balcony door and watering my plants—which I can now manage to keep alive—in the morning. I like putting on as many face masks as I want and cleaning out my car and taking a long shower because I don’t have anywhere to be.

I could’ve made a no-sew mask out of a Bandana this weekend, but it felt good to get my little sewing kit out of my bathroom drawer, thread a needle, sit by the open window and go stitch by stitch until I had created something and I was satisfied.

Yep, these are strange times. But they can also be satisfying times, too, it you let them.

[jigsawletters]

[jigsawletters]

This is...2020

Hello, 2020.

The new year for me is less about a “new me” and more about a new life. Setting goals is less about being able I can say I’m better than you 364 days from now and more about asking what I did or experienced that made me glad to be alive.

It’s also an excuse to drink champagne for 24 hours straight.

One of my favorite New Year’s Day traditions of the past 4 or 5 years has been to eat the New Year’s Day buffet at one of my favorite places in my hometown called Keg & Barrel. It was all-you-can-eat New Years' tradition food—black-eyed pea, cabbage, greens, mac n’ cheese, pork chops, fried chicken, etc. I’d sit down, order a drink, hit the buffet and start the celebration all over again with the regulars that I knew would be there day to day, year to year. This year, in a new city, that lunch tradition is the thing I missed most. Not just because it’s been a #struggle to find actual “Southern” food that tastes “Southern” (sorry, North Carolina) but because I’m a creature of habit and a lover of traditions and all things familiar. But after a while, I realized what a shame it would be to be in a new place with a blank slate to start a new tradition and a chance to experience something different and just wallow in not being able to do the same old thing. So, I did what any good millennial would do—I googled “SOUTHERN SOULDFOOD RESTAURANTS NEAR ME”. Sure enough, Jack’s Seafood & Soulfood popped up with 4 1/2 star reviews and only 16 minutes standing between me and everything I missed about home.

I walked in and immediately knew I was in the right place because they had a different daily special on the menu and Thursday’s special was neck bones (if you know, you know). We ordered and sat down and I instantly felt this wave of gratitude for the fact that I felt a new part of me, maybe a different kind of joy, unraveling. I was happy to be somewhere that I hadn’t been to before. I was happy to sit around people I didn’t know but could still share a meal space with. I was overjoyed to find a restaurant that fried catfish and made turnip greens the right way.

It was new and I had taken a chance of leaving what I knew and loved to experience it. That’s what the new year is for me. Yes, I make goals and resolutions and write down dreams but above anything else, it’s a chance to live a life you didn’t live the year before, in all the best ways.

So, whatever happened in the last year or last decade, jump on the new year bandwagon, try something new and at least make 2020 interesting.

Cheers.

[jigsawletters]

Greeting, Earthlings...

If you move to a new city and don’t start a blog, did you even really move??

I’ve been on a rollercoaster adventure for the past 6 weeks ever since I left my hometown in South Mississippi to move to a city I had only been to twice before: Raleigh, NC. I spent 25+ years getting to know every street, every hole in the wall, and every “are you any kin to...” that there was to know, worked my way up in my career...and then walked away from it all. 

It was the most liberating and strangely simple thing I’ve ever done, but it also means that I’ve had to start completely over. New city, new job, new network. It also means that, for now, I have a lot of time to process not just the move but what my life has been for the past 2 decades; the good, the bad and the hauntingly embarrassing. 

And lucky you--you’ve got an all-access pass to see it unfold here.  

I won’t claim to have anything groundbreaking to say or that I’ll even say it particularly well. But if I’ve learned anything from living life as a young, FirstGen African woman raised in the South, it’s that nobody is really listening anyway, and that’s half the fun.