jikookhet

[jikookhet]

d-day, a conversation of yoongi's artistry ❦

listen, listen, listen.

i know collectively as a fandom we speak about yoongi's artistry, however, i don't think we speak about it enough. or, at least, in a lengthened & deepened conversation. his artistry is something that consistently captivates me time and time again. everything from the concepts he portrays, the lyrics he pulls out, the cinematography he executes, & the stories he embodies to put out for us. everything from point a to b is purely & utterly insane. here, i want to focus on d-day, but first; we need to take it back. way back.

as we know, yoongi has three personas. from 2013 to 2016, it was the two personas of min yoongi, as a person, & suga, as an artist. the 'agust d' persona was officially introduced to us as of august, 2016. this persona held up quite a reputation for being 'savage', 'relentless', & 'outspoken' — & wrongfully so. to simply assume that he is savage or disrespectful for letting out all of his rightfully pent-up emotions as a result of a barrage of hate, is horrible.

"in 2016, we really described us was that we are from living hell because we were attacked by so many different areas and we didn't even know why. 'why do they hate us so much?' that was the thing we focused on. and i was full of anger." — yoongi, road to d-day.

agust d was the persona that yoongi used as a coping mechanism— for many things, really. all the hate, all the internal suffering, all the trauma. agust d was born out of nothing but pure anger & frustration, which we can see through many tracks— agust d, tony montana, daechwita, & what do you think. however, this anger & frustration weren't only directed at external figures, but also directed internally, at yoongi himself. though, it manifested as seeping pain and sadness, instead.

in many ways, agust d was an outlet for all his pent-up emotions & thoughts, yet in many ways, it was holding him back from the things he needed the most. healing & forgiveness. not from others, of course not, but rather— himself.

truthfully, the way he portrayed this was so gut-wrenching & heartbreaking. he perceives his traumas as being caused by himself— hence the self-inflicted scar on his face. his father's liver cancer, which he learnt whilst on a schedule. his mom's heart surgery; from an incredibly young age (three to four years old), yoongi blamed himself for his mother's illness as she developed it after giving birth to him. yoongi's specific memory at this age was of him in his mom's embrace & since felt guilty over him causing it, wondering— "is it right for me to be born?" (beyond the story, 2023.) the shoulder accident he had which he couldn't tell anyone, including his bandmates, at that time in fear of being let go. a torn shoulder that he dealt with for over seven years whilst working full-time, touring often, & regularly doing intense choreography.

throughout yoongi's music videos, there's a repeated motif of killing this scarred version of himself— a key symbol for his attempts to leave the past behind & live in the present. however, undertaking these attempts to do so while not healing or forgiving yourself is a dangerous path to go down. because you'd end up stuck in this endless & vicious cycle of self-torture. in this way, it's like you're continuously indulging in your pain through being unable to forgive yourself & wishing you could undo what happened, though it's out of your control.

something incredibly meaningful to me was how yoongi said d-day was the closing chapter to the agust d trilogy. that it might be hard to see him again, that as he continues to grow older & older, he gets less angry at the world & at himself. the trilogy lasting ten years with a man who's changed for those ten years right alongside it, has come to its blossoming end. a closed chapter to the pain & trauma that held him down all these years.

to those who might not know to yoongi is, or may not understand, i hope you come to the realization as to why people call min yoongi's works a piece of art. because, in his words, there is strength & pain. the kind that gut-wrenchingly bruises & burns without hesitation but offers a lifelong worth of embracement whole in return. the kind that sends crashing ripples & rumbles reverberating through one's chest but offers a delicate hand in return.

min yoongi is truly one of a kind.