jilychallenge

[jilychallenge]

Sapphic jily for @jilychallenge

[jilychallenge]

Sapphic jily for @jilychallenge

[jilychallenge]

Here I am, once again with a @jilychallenge pride month ficlet! Can't deny it, can't pretend, Lily's down bad. IDK this popped into my head and now it is a thing... enjoy, or whatever.

Her hair was messy, it was always messy, and Lily hated it. In fact, she hated it so much that she couldn't stop thinking about it. She wondered what it would feel like to brush it, to run her fingers through the tangled ringlets. 

Sometimes she wondered if she would make a sound, if she ‘accidentally’ tugged at it. Which was a dangerous and slippery thought process. 

Especially now, when Lily was laying in bed, glaring across the room at the light coming from that stupid two-way mirror that she was always talking on. Not that Lily was jealous, she would never be jealous of Sirius Black. 

What did he have that she didn’t? Bar from effortless good grades, conventionally attractive features, and the attention of Potter? Nothing. Well, some things, but at least he made up for those by being funny and actually not too terrible to hang out with.

No, what grated on her most was that he was inseparable with Potter, never letting Lily get a minute in edgewise. It was enough to irk her on a good day. Potter was her roommate, surely that should count for something. They should talk more. 

Perhaps if she would give Lily the time of day—outside of the copious amounts of double-edged words and odd glances—then she did not need to wonder what her hair felt like. 

Then came the laugh again, loud and boisterous; Bright like the sun on a midday in July. Something ugly inside of Lily twisted and no matter how tightly she wrapped herself in her blanket, she couldn’t seem to get comfortable. 

Another laugh and Lily was on her feet, stalking across the room to Potter’s bed, ripping open the curtain with an indignant: “Some of us are trying to sleep, Potter.” Her name coming out a little choked as Lily’s eyes adjusted to the light. 

There she sat, cross-legged and bend all the way forward—the way Lily would sometimes stretch her back—the low light in the room perfectly highlighting all of her soft curves. She was beautiful, it wasn’t a revelation. Lily had eyes, knew Potter was beautiful in her own way; Not the conventional model pretty, but in a sort of untamed, unapologetic way. Right now though, dressed in a silk pyjama set, she could go straight onto the pages of a fashion magazine. 

When Lily was called back to attention, Potter was looking back at her questioningly. “Huh?” was all she managed to vocalize, pretty sure she had missed every single words that had been said after her intrusion. The realization of this making her face flush with embarrassment. 

“I said that I’ll put up a silencing charm if I’m keeping you up,” Potter said and smiled almost apologetically. It was… unsettling, but not unwelcome. 

Lily tried to swallow away the dryness in her throat as she nodded, pushing her sleep braid over her shoulder with nervous fingers. “Thanks, Potter.” Was about all she could manage, her head dipping down now that the embarrassment fully hit. “And… Err… Sorry about that,” she added with a breath laugh before tugging the hangings closed once more and slinking back to her bed. 

There she wrapped herself in her blanket and prayed for her mattress to swallow her up, anything to keep these thoughts away. This realization that maybe, just maybe, she was no better than a boy tugging at a girl's pigtails to get her attention. 

What a mortifying thought

[jilychallenge]

Sapphic jily in color for @jilychallenge

[jilychallenge]

So pretty 🥰

Sapphic jily for @jilychallenge

[jilychallenge]

Sapphic jily for @jilychallenge

[jilychallenge]

Sapphic jily for @jilychallenge

[jilychallenge]

For @jilychallenge

[jilychallenge]

Gryffindor party w/sapphic jily for @jilychallenge

[jilychallenge]

Sapphic jily cuddles for @jilychallenge

[jilychallenge]

For @jilychallenge

[jilychallenge]

Sapphic jily for @jilychallenge

[jilychallenge]

Sapphic jily for @jilychallenge

[jilychallenge]

Sapphic jily for @jilychallenge

[jilychallenge]

So, for this month's @jilychallenge we are doing pride and (I'd say obviously but not so much) I am hoping to do a few. For now, we kick the month off with some ace rep! (878 words under the cut!)

Lily had been dreading this conversation ever since they’d started dating, and maybe she should have brought it up herself. Maybe, if she’d known how to explain it, she might have. But how did you tell someone you were madly in love with that there were feelings you simply did not have? 

The answer was, apparently, mull it over endlessly until they sat you down and asked you, with a heartbreakingly pained expression, if they did something wrong. “You can tell me if it’s me, you know. Whatever it is, I want us to work it out,” James said, his hands so clearly aching to touch her as he trapped them under his armpits, his shoulders raised uncomfortably. 

Lily could guess the words unsaid behind his closed-mouth smile and a break-up teetering on his tongue as the cliché ‘It’s not you, It’s me’ hurried its way out of her mouth. She reached for him, her fingers falling just short as James drew away. “It is! I promise,” she pleaded and hoped it was the first step towards breaking down the wall he’d put up the moment she’d made her first statement. 

“If you’re going to break up with me, just do it,” James huffed in a prickly tone, his eyes icing over. Another layer of protection for her to peel back.

“James, please let me explain.” Her request was met with a curd nod, his eyes avoiding hers and the bed they were sitting on might as well contained The Black Lake and the bloody Highlands. “I mean it, it has nothing to do with you! I just never felt the need to.” 

His brow creased and Lily could not tell if it was confusion or anger that etched itself between them. “As in, you didn’t think you had to initiate? Or I just don’t do it for you?” James questioned, his tongue darting out to wet his lips. “I don’t understand,” he said the words so earnestly, awash with desperation. 

“No,” Lily answered, and she shifted closer to him, until their knees almost touched. “I love you, and being intimate with you is… kind of great.” She wanted to wince at her own words, hearing the way they came out. “I just don’t have that… That urge. I don’t feel it unless I am reminded of it.” 

Slowly James’ arms uncrossed, one hand moving up to his hair—because, of course, it did—but at least his shoulders relaxed. “You always feel that way?” Lily nodded. “So, you never?” Her lips pressed together as she shook her head. 

“Never,” she assured him, her eyes dropping to her hands while they wrung her ankle. “I don’t remember there ever being a time when I felt it.” 

James nodded slowly, the wall coming down and his hand covering hers, stopping her fidgeting. “Why didn’t you tell me earlier?” 

That was fair, she should have told him. “I didn’t know how. People don’t really react well to being told they’re unattractive.” 

“You think I am unattractive?”

Lily couldn’t help but giggle at his incredulous expression, burying her face in her shoulder to conceal the poorly timed amusement. “No, no, you’re very handsome,” she told him, peering up from her hiding place. She nearly choked on her own laughter when she found James wildly wriggling his brows at her while he pouted dramatically.

“So, you just don’t think about dragging me into every broom cupboard we pass? That’s just me?” James tiled his head forward, looking at her over the rim of his glasses as if he could see her like that. “No random urges to bend me over a desk during patrol?”

Her shoulders were shaking with repressed laugher when she leaned forward, her lips brushing against his. “I thought you were the one who was supposed to bend me?” she purred, her nose nudging his.

James tutted in disapproval. “Evans, we are having a serious conversation here and you’re distracting me. She could almost feel the smirk on his face.

“Ah yes, the flesh is weak,” she teased back and winked at him. 

“What can I say? You kinda do it for me. Oh, and for the record, I am quite flexible when it comes to who is the bender and bendee,” he replied in that superior tone of his, placing a chaste kiss to her lips before retreating. 

“Alas, I never actively considered either of those scenarios but I am certain we can work something out.” 

“But you’re not attracted to me, though.” 

“Not like that, no.” 

“But you do love me?” There it was, the crux of the issue, the soft core in his frustration. 

Lily reached out, her hand cradling James’ face. “Very, very much. You’re kind of it for me,” she said, echoing his words back at him. 

James turned his head to kiss her palm, his fingers brushing the back of her hand and coming to rest on her wrist. “You just don’t mind the occasional shag.” 

“Correct.” 

“This is a little weird for me, but… I’ll take it.” He paused, his eyes searching her face for something. “And you’ll tell me when you’re not up for it?” 

Lily nodded, a soft smile spreading across her lips. “You’ll be the first one to know, love. Promise.” 

[jilychallenge]

Sapphic jily kissing for @jilychallenge

[jilychallenge]

Desire

Sapphic jily for @jilychallenge