jiodarama - Tumblr blog

[jiodarama]

Satu tahun berlalu, semoga terus berlanjut bersamamu.

Tahun ini bukan tahun yang mudah bagiku.

Bulan Januari sampai Desember. Aku mengalami hari-hari terberat selama satu tahun. Begitu banyak hal buruk yang aku lalui sehingga menguras tenagaku secara fisik dan mental. Aku terombang-ambing, tubuhku seolah-olah tercabik-cabik. Aku merasa bahwa darahku akan segera habis jika tidak ada yang mendonorkannya untukku. Tolong, aku sekarat, dan aku belum mau mati.

Seperti yang aku harapkan, kamu hadir. Kamu tetap disana, berada disampingku bahkan disaat titik terendahku.

Nona, aku tidak tahu harus berapa kali menyampaikan rasa terima kasihku karena kamu sudah memperlakukanku dengan baik dan secara sabar menghadapi segala tragedi yang terjadi di hidupku. Bukanlah tugas yang mudah menjadi kekasihku, namun kamu membuktikan bahwa kita berdua layak mendapatkan satu sama lain — alasan mengapa hubungan kita masih tetap bertahan sampai sekarang dalam status yang baik-baik saja, sehat-sehat saja.

Banyak pelajaran yang aku terima darimu dan hubungan kita — semua hal tentang kesabaran, kedewasaan, bahkan tentang bagaimana aku harus tetap fokus pada tujuan dan harapan dengan mengedepankan pikiran positif pada diriku. You made the biggest impact to my life, the greatest one that I’ve never received before. Rasanya sangat membahagiakan. Aku bahagia bersamamu, Nona.

Semoga kita selalu bersama. Semoga tidak ada kata selesai dalam cerita kita. Karena pada akhirnya, rumah adalah tempat dimana kita merasa nyaman, bukan?

Ditulis untuk tahun yang lebih baik oleh Darama Jio. (1 Januari 2024)

[jiodarama]

[jiodarama]

08/31 on a sunny day.

Dear diary,

It’s my girlfriend (wonyoungjahg)’s birthday today. I still can’t believe how lucky I am to have someone as amazing as her in my life. From the very first day we met, I knew there was something enchanting about her. “Enchanted to meet you,” indeed. She carries herself with such grace and confidence, behaving like a girlboss she is.

I can tell you that everyday feels like a fairy tale by dating her. She has a way of capturing my attention (or everyone) when she enters a room, just like a princess. But bold of you to assume that she is anyone else’s princess. No, she is mine and I don’t share even just a little bit of her part. No, fuckin’ no. And yes, she shines through in every gesture she makes, and I find myself falling in love with her all over again, every single day. I’m not sugarcoating this at all.

“She is a Barbie, and she’s everything. He’s just Ken.” Right. Here I am admitting that I’m just an ordinary man, but I’ve always been more than willing to give her the princess treatment she deserves. Whether it’s surprising her with a bouquet of her favorite flowers (my girlfriend likes tulips, camellia and peony—or almost all flowers), planning romantic dates that make her feel like the center of the universe, or simply being there to listen to her stories, I want to be the one for her.

Pls. I love her so much I feel like about to ahskskdh.

[jiodarama]

Dear my August girl,

It was the first day of August when I wrote this and put it in my draft. This is a month that holds special significance in my heart. As I woke up in the morning, a sense of anticipation filled the air. I remember clearly, that August is yours, my girlfriend’s month, and I was reminded of all the wonderful moments when this cute baby was born (meanwhile I was just two years old at that time).

Well, in case you want to know, for the whole day, my mind raced with ideas on how to make your birthday truly remarkable for you. But amidst the flurry of thoughts, I realized that sometimes it’s the simplest gestures that carry the most heartfelt messages. With this crossing on my mind, I decided to write this letter, hoping that this would convey all the emotions I held for you in the most sincere way possible.

Here, let me be honest about one important thing. Might sound cringe to you as the reader, but I want you to know just how much you mean to me. From the moment you entered my world, everything has been brighter and more beautiful. You turn the gloomiest days of mine into sunshine. Every moment that we spend together is like a precious gems that I treasure more than words can express. You are the melody to my song, the light that guides me through the darkest times, and of course, your presence in my life is like the biggest gift I cherish endlessly. Babe, for me, today is a day as special as you are, and I couldn’t wait to fill these pages with all the love and warmth. Maybe if you have any requests, feel free to talk it out to me.

On this special day, my wish for you is to be surrounded by all the joy and love that you deserve. May each moment be as magical as the love we share. You deserve nothing less than a lifetime of happiness, and I promise to be by your side through it all. I love you so much, Wonyoungi.

With all my love, Jisungi.

[jiodarama]

Semua Mikaela Ilsé Dirayakan

Merayakan dan dirayakan. Terdengar cukup sepele, atau mungkin berlebihan bagi sebagian orang. Namun bagiku hal tersebut bermakna sangat dalam. Gadisku, Mikaela Ilsé, adalah hadiah terbaik di hidupku. Aku merayakannya, dia merayakanku.

Mikaela, bahagiamu aku rayakan. Senyum terlukis di wajahku begitu aku mendengar cerita-ceritamu. Mungkin bagimu hanya hal yang biasa saja, namun aku turut berbahagia bersamamu dan berterima kasih untuk itu.

Mikaela, sedihmu aku rayakan. Hari burukmu tak berarti bumi berhenti berotasi, hanya sebagai pertanda bahwa hari-hari baik lainnya akan datang. Terima kasih karena telah berjuang dan melakukan yang terbaik semampu yang kau telah usahakan. Dinginnya malam akan berganti menjadi hangatnya pelukan dari mereka yang mencintaimu—begitu pun aku.

Mikaela, api marahmu aku rayakan. Tak apa untuk meluapkan emosi jika kau mau. Dan jika boleh, akan aku dekap tubuhmu, jatuh ke pelukanku. Marahlah, keluarkan kesalmu. Tak apa, badai akan segera berlalu, hujan akan segera mereda, dan kamu akan selamat.

Dunia sudah berat, hari-harimu juga sama beratnya. Melelahkan, ya? Pasti. Tenang, aku tidak meninggalkanmu pergi jauh, hanya sebatas tidur, lalu bertemu lagi denganmu keesokan harinya.

Terima kasih—adalah satu-satunya yang bisa kuucapkan. Hari ini, esok, dan nanti, aku tetap bersamamu, merayakanmu, mencintaimu selalu.

[jiodarama]

“How much do you love her?”

“Do you know how it feels when you are so packed up with some stuff to do, and then you are willing to stop your activity just to listen to someone’s stories? Do you know how it feels when you’re feeling super tired, but once you look at someone’s bright smile, you feel like you just fully recharged again? Do you know that feeling when you look at someone, and they remind you of home?”

“Yes, and then?”

“That’s how I describe my feelings for her. I do love her, and what I feel is more than just words.”

[jiodarama]

Nona, and her details.

Look at those sparkling eyes. The moment her gaze meets mine, I can’t help but fall in love at first sight. Her squishy cheeks too, sometimes get reddened when I compliment her. “Babe, you’re so pretty,” and then she is blushing in red. Her lips always look glossy because of her lip tint, lipgloss, or anything she puts on it. Pink, red, makes me wanna taste it. And maybe if I do, it tastes sweet like cherry. Isn’t she pretty? The prettiest baby lady I’ve ever seen. Mine, no one else’s.

[jiodarama]

.˚ ₍🎐₎┊..⃗. and over the lilied waters and in the roses of the evening; we loved.

🪷

“have you ever thought of the what-ifs?” he asked absentmindedly, long fingers grazing gently over the flowers, plucking them when he deemed it’s perfect bouquet for her later on.

she quirks a questioning eyebrow upon the sudden question before proceeding to shake her head slowly, her gaze following his fingers. “no, i’m not afraid.”

“why not? are you not curious about things?” he knits his eyebrow together.

“i would rather bask in the present with you,” she starts carefully, noticing how his actions stopped in the middle. “what-ifs are for the people who’s anxious of the future, in my perspective, of course.”

he juts his lips out into a small pout, tilting his head to the side, cute. “and you are certain of yours?”

the corner of her mouth quirks into a soft smile, her eyes crinkle into crescents. “no idea. however, i’m pretty confident in us; of our future.”

amongst the hues of spring flowers blooming magnificently around the garden, he thinks nothing could ever compare to her. especially when she twirls her body around to meet his eyes with visage she continuously falls in love with, the wind brushing her hair back gently, caressing her skin and for once, he’s jealous of the air for they were able to touch her all the time.

“our future? and may i inquire: where do you see us in the future, nona?” there is a tint of mischief in his voice to which she laughs at. wrapping her arms around him and resting her head into his chest, she smiles when he immediately hugs her back, so warm.

“i see us spending time together like this,” she tilts her head up, eyes grazing his features. “not a worry in the world, plucking flowers, having picnics and sharing stories.”

he scrunched his nose up as red hues were visible on his cheeks and ears. “that sounds like a nice future. i would love to be there.”

“you’re already there. i could see myself living with you.” a smile crept up on both of their faces. she dives into his embrace, setting the experience side by side with the memories when she dived into the cold water of the lake near her house one day, engulfed in the comfort of the water crushing her whole body, holding him down like an anchor.

“and i, you.”

[jiodarama]

for my beautiful human being

the poets said, most beautiful things are made out of ruinsㅡ and so is he. my beautiful human being, a human about whom songs are made, like an ancient ceramic left in centuries and in every collapse and crumbling, i would make peace with zeus’ thunderbolts just to admire him.

he was meant to be treated like an egyptian glass, with pulchritude that never melted even after thousands of years and i could have sworn an oath upon the river of the dead, which could hold even the gods themselves, to rip his grief out of him and the blood of his sorrows i would not mind curdling at my insides. i would, and will always try my best.

[jiodarama]

Mikaela Ilsé, if she was a..

Baby Pink Color — “All the cute things and pink colors remind me of you. Whenever I go to the store and find them, I can’t help myself thinking about you.” I’m sure you’ve heard this from me before. The color Baby Pink is just so ‘You’ and I keep associating that color with you. I was drawn to your charm the first time we met and that made me feel the butterflies inside me. Falling in love with you is exactly what I mean. Soft, pure, and romantic just like Baby Pink.

A small castle with a flowery garden — Just by hearing your name for the first time, I imagined that you were a real princess who lived in a small castle full of flowery gardens. You walked through the garden with your favorite white dress, a pink braid completing your straight hair and your whole look. You came straight out of the fairytale, I definitely love it. “She should be treated like a princess. I don’t want to see that crown falls from her head.”

Tulip that blooms in April — You told me that you like tulips the best when it comes to flowers, although actually you can’t even choose one. I bought you tulips, and you were so happy. Like the lyrics of Tulip song from Dept, our flowers bloom in spring. Remember a year ago when I finally confessed my feelings to you and asked you to be mine? You said yes, and I was crying in happiness while reading your message through the screen. I didn’t even want to sink myself into the bed at that time, all I wanted was to talk with you. Thank you for accepting my confession, until we reach this page again now, in April, when all the tulips bloom.

Strawberry Cheesecake — We have the same bad habit. We don’t like eating that much. You know? I’m always worried when you say that you lost your appetite. But I remember when you said, “I have to eat something that I like. I like strawberries and cheesecake.” If I could buy you those all, go eat them as much as you want! I don’t mind spending all my money on you though.

Little Kitten — I don’t understand why the ‘For You Page’ on my Tiktok account is full of kittens. Is it because I think that they resemble you? Maybe you’re a kitten in disguise because the way you act to your boyfriend reminds me of a clingy kitten who acts cute and playful towards the owner. Ain’t complaining because I like a kitten (not the real kitten, but you).

A little gift from me, Happy 1st Anniversary.

https://vt.tiktok.com/ZS8Tas1fA/

[jiodarama]

“So, how does it feel?”

“Inget gak dulu kita bisa kenal gara-gara siapa? Gara-gara Anna sih. Kalau bukan karena dia—”

“Bisa gak jangan bahas itu terus? Aku malu.”

“Kita udah mau satu tahun. Aku nikahin kamu aja kali ya, Nona?”

“Apaan sih, aku aja masih kecil!”

“Aku tunggu sampai kamu besar, tapi aku udah semakin tua. Gak apa-apa sih, yang penting nikah sama kamu.” Celetukan yang kemudian disambut oleh pukulan kecil dari lawan bicaraku, si gadis yang paling aku cintai.

Kebetulan aku sedang berada di rumah kekasihku saat ini. Lebih spesifiknya lagi, berduaan di kamarnya. Aku menatap setiap sudut kamarnya. Ruangannya harum, dekorasinya pun dibuat lucu, sangat rapi, dan ada buket bunga peony dan tulip tersimpan di meja sudut kamarnya yang tentu saja itu pemberian dariku. Polaroid-polaroid kami digantung di kamarnya.

“We’ve come this far.”

“I know that.”

“How does it feel?”

Aku menatap wajahnya, memperhatikan bola-bola matanya yang indah dan tampak bersinar saat ia juga kembali menatapku.

“I’ve never been so loved like this before, kak. You made me feel happy, and I feel safe and sound around you.”

Jawabannya membuatku lega, dan kini giliran kekasihku mempertanyakan hal yang sama, “Kalau kakak? How do you feel?”

Aku masih menatapnya. Kali ini aku membawanya ke dekapanku dan kekasihku hanya diam sebagai respon. Namun, jelas pipinya mulai memerah.

“This is how it feels like. Heaven.”

[jiodarama]

“Hey, listen to me.”

“What?”

“Can we go for a small vacation? Just the two of us. We can stay there for a whole day without any interruption!”

The taller man raised his eyebrow upon hearing her statements. He couldn’t believe it at that moment if the invitation came readily from her tongue. But did he have the guts to refuse? To decline the offer? Obviously not. He wished it from the bottom of his heart. He wanted to spend the entire day with her till the sun rose again the next day.

“Sure. Prepare yourself then. We will have a wonderful one, just the two of us.”

It was a radiant smile that appeared on the lady’s face. Their relationship is indeed lovely. They don’t require a large gift — no, not at all. But one important thing; they do appreciate each other’s presence. That’s enough to create a dynamic atmosphere between them, in which delight endures. Oh, falling in love. Feeling like floating on cloud nine.

[jiodarama]

Happy International Women’s day to my amazing woman, Mikaela Ilsé.

To live my life feels so much easier when you are around. Thank you so much for staying by my side even until now. You are indeed the best one, the most amazing woman that I have. I love you.

[jiodarama]

I noticed her, a lovely young lady settling among the blooming flowers in the garden. Her face shone with a luminous smile that made my heart skip a beat. Her eyes twinkle with delight, and she seems to be carefree. Her hair is braided, and she wears a natural white dress that falls to her ankles, enthralling her beauty.

She is the embodiment of perfection. My gaze cannot leave her; I am enchanted by her beauty. My heart starts racing as soon as I see the details of her from head to toe. No, I’m not a creep, but to be able to witness this moment of pure bliss is something I am so thankful for.

[jiodarama]

Darama Jio’s open diary

Mikaela Ilsé.

Saya bertemu dengannya pada saat ia masih duduk di bangku SMA, dimana saya alih-alih berteman, malah seolah-olah menjadi konselor pribadinya. Saya berbagi pengalaman tentang dunia kuliah, dan bahkan mendengar cerita tentang bagaimana pertemuan dengan teman-teman di sekolah, atau kegiatan belajar mengajar bersama guru-gurunya. Sekarang ia sudah bertumbuh dewasa menjadi seorang mahasiswa teladan. Saya anggap seperti itu, karena pada faktanya ia memang cerdas, pintar, dan hampir tidak pernah membolos — kecuali pada hari itu saat saya juga bolos dari kantor saya.

Tulisan ini bukan tentang bolos, melainkan tentang hal apa saja yang sudah kami alami bersama. Sebagai contoh, movie date pertama kali yang diakhiri dengan alunan lagu honey dari Boy Pablo. Momen saat dimana keberanian dalam diri saya memuncak, sehingga pada akhirnya saya menyatakan perasaan dan meminta persetujuan sebelum memulai masa pendekatan. Ah, ya kalau diingat kembali, saya juga salting berat. Wajah saya pasti kembali memerah seperti kepiting rebus jika saya harus memandang pantulan diri di cermin. Tidak jadi bercermin deh, soalnya saya malu.

Jika saya harus kembali menceritakan mengenai hari terbaiknya, yaitu saat dimana ia berulang tahun, mungkin pembaca setia akan merasa bosan. “Halah, kok ceritanya ini-ini aja sih?” Namun bagi saya, justru ketika si cantik Mikaela Ilsé ini berulang tahun adalah momen dimana saya pun turut terharu, turut bahagia, dan turut deg-degan. Maksudnya, saya sudah mempersiapkan diri untuk menembaknya — dalam artian, saya ingin menjadikannya sebagai seorang kekasih tepat di hari ulang tahunnya. Hanya saja, rencana saya mundur satu hari (atau mundur beberapa menit) setelah hari ulang tahunnya berakhir. Siapa sangka bahwa akhirnya jawaban, “I’m yours” keluar dari mulutnya? Oh, tidak sih, orang lain sudah menebak. Saya saja yang cemas karena takut ditolak.

Berbarislah kalian yang berkata bahwa masa-masa pendekatan jauh lebih indah daripada masa-masa ketika sudah berstatus pacaran. Akan saya jelaskan bahwa pernyataan tersebut tidak selalu sama di kehidupan percintaan setiap orang. Cerita saya pun berbeda. Segalanya menjadi jauh lebih indah saat bersamanya. Kami tertawa, kami berbagi banyak cerita dan berdiskusi seperti sedang mengadakan konferensi meja bundar — tapi khusus untuk berdua. Kami memperlakukan satu sama lain dengan baik sebagaimana mestinya orang berpacaran. Hubungan kami sangat baik, bahkan sampai detik ini.

Orang-orang di sekitar kami banyak yang mengomentari hubungan kami. Beberapa diantaranya berkomentar, “Kalian lucu, kayak anak SD baru kenal cinta.” Kemudian ada lagi yang bilang, “Sama-sama masih bayi, kok pacaran?” Hai, netizen. Kalian mana tahu hubungan kami sebenarnya seperti film Dua Garis Biru? (Bercanda). Nyatanya hubungan kami seperti sebuah Alternate Universe yang ditulis oleh penulis hebat dengan akhir yang bahagia. Terima kasih karena sudah memandang kami dengan baik, orang-orang baik!

Mendengar komentar mereka dan melihat hubungan yang sudah kami jalani sampai kami mencapai hari ke 300, saya merasa sangat bahagia. Saya bahagia, bukan main. Saya bersyukur atas apa yang saya miliki sekarang. Baru saja tadi abang-abang saya bilang. Kurang lebih seperti: “Kalau udah ketemu sama yang ‘she’s the one’ ya udah, nggak bakal ada takutnya, nggak bakal kemana-mana lagi. Dia aja, udah cukup.” Yang memang benar faktanya bahwa the moment I found her, I realized that she’s the one.

Namun sayangnya sekarang ada satu masalah. Hanya satu. Masalahnya, saya tidak bisa berhenti tersenyum. Ah, saya sangat mencintainya.

Ditulis oleh Darama Jio, di hari ke 300 berpacaran dengan Mikaela Ilsé.

Harapannya? Semoga betah dengan saya, meskipun harus menghadapi bayi besar yang terkadang suka rewel tiba-tiba.

[jiodarama]

“Gila ya lu, aku masih di luar rumah. Lain kali kalau kamu bilang nggak bisa kasih apa-apa, aku nggak akan percaya.”

Benar, sudah dipastikan seperti apa respon yang akan saya terima, dan hal itu terbukti sekarang. Melalui telepon, saya menahan tawa kala suara manisnya terdengar dari ujung sana. Namun biar saya tebak, senyumnya merekah dengan semburat merah yang menghiasi wajahnya saat menerima buket bunga yang saya kirimkan untuknya, atau bahkan saat ia membaca pesan yang menempel pada buket tersebut. Surprise, my girlfriend!

“Peonies are generally symbolic of love, honor, happiness, wealth, romance, and beauty. The peony is traditionally given on special occasions as an expression of goodwill, best wishes, and joy.”

Once again, Happy Valentine’s day, my prettiest flower, Mikaela Ilsé. I love you so much, even words will never be enough to describe my feelings for you. — Love, Darama Jio.

[jiodarama]

So, how long will the tulips bloom? Based on the article that I read (I am so sorry, I don’t have much knowledge about the flowers, but I learned it for her), “Bloom times will depend on location and the weather, but as a rule, early tulips will bloom from March to April and mid-season types will extend the blooming period later into spring.”

Which means, I met the right person at the right time. Let me give a brief explanation about her. Her name is Mikaela Ilsé, and she has long-straight hair with a beautiful smile engraved on her face. The moment she smiles, all the flowers are blooming perfectly. You may not see the actual crown on her head, but she has that thing for sure. She behaves like a princess in a fairytale – indeed, she is.

July 2021 was the first encounter where I met her (but never had a chance to talk intensely with her). I remember her, and I wished to get to know her better if I could, if I had a chance to do so – and fate brought her back to me in March 2022. If I have to be honest, it felt like a dream. Something that I would never be able to express through words, but I know this is beyond beautiful I can tell you. As an article said, “…early tulips will bloom from March to April…” which is true, and I experienced it on my own. She is my early tulip that bloom in March, and I started falling in love with her in April. There, our love blooms as well as the tulips in a beautiful garden.

“If the weather is cool, tulips may last 1-2 weeks.” I continued reading. Okay, let me start arguing that statement since I am on the opposite side. As for me, in my beautiful garden, I have a tulip that blooms for more than just 1-2 weeks. Here’s proof: I’ve been watering the tulips for almost 10 months (in other words, taking care of this relationship until we reach this point). Everything is still the same – my tulip looks perfect, it has a bright pink color that symbolizes happiness and confidence. So does the same thing happen to us, to our relationship.

Mikaela Ilsé, today is Valentine’s day and I wrote this for you. In this month full of love, I hope there will be numerous blessings coming to us. Hold my hand, walk beside me on this flowery path. Let’s continue to be happy as if there are only both of us in this world. I love you.

With love, Darama Jio.