jixiswrites - Tumblr blog

jixiswrites · 7 months ago

Text

hullo this is just a summary of the direction i was *going* to take my fic. it's no longer happening this way because i am weak and i have a soft heart. trigger warnings for basically everything, the dove was supposed to be very dead

For the record the intense violence is between satoru and suguru. The rape is gang rape, not between them. Is everything between them consensual? Hm. you can decide that for yourself.

So suguru has been shirking on his ‘pet’ responsibilities for a few days, which is fine. He says he’s sick. He doesn’t smell sick, but he does smell sad and scared and satoru is willing to let him work out whatever is happening with him for a bit longer before he intervenes

Until he gets a text from an acquaintance with the caption ‘ain’t this your bitch’

And yep, that’s suguru kissing someone else, in the fucking clothes he bought him.

Satoru has a temper. A bad one. But he takes a few breaths and waits for suguru to appear at his office to tell him he’s ‘sick’ again. God, he’s such a fucking idiot for believeing that

When suguru knocks, he’s mostly got himself under control.

“I know you’re fucking someone else. Get the fuck out of my house by tonight. Take your girls.”

Then he slams the door in his face. Which honestly? He’s pretty proud of himself for how he handled that. No violence, no yelling. This is awesome. His therapist should give him a round of applause.

Suguru knocks, and knocks, and eventually stops knocking. He doesn’t open the door because he might actually drop kick the cheating bitch, and then his therapist would give him a disappointed frown instead of applause.

Later, once he’s drank some whiskey and watched some porn and ate some cake - all the finer things in life, and all things he keeps in his office - he opens the door to tuck in for the night

…and suguru’s kneeling with his head bowed outside the goddamn door

What the fuck. No self-preservation, that one. Only reason someone would cheat on satoru in the first place. It’s in the goddamn contract for fucks sake

He nudges (okay, more like kicks) the side of suguru’s face and says, “i told you to be gone. What the fuck is wrong with you?’

“Please, sir -”

He cuts him off with another kick. This one has is hard enough he falls onto his back, clutching at his jaw. “Don’t call me that. You aren’t my pet anymore. Leave or i’ll make you leave.”

He shuffles forward and tries to kiss at satoru’s boots, which: gross. He doesn’t want some cheating bitch’s slobber all over him

Kicks him again

“Please just let me explain -”

“Nothing to explain.” he stomps on his stomach this time. “You’re a fucking whore. I don’t want anything to do with you

This goes on for a while, finally when suguru is bet to shit he manages to wheeze out ‘wasn’t consensual’

And satoru is like ‘yeah? Do you expect me to believe that? Why wouldn’t you have told me if that happened?

And suguru is like ‘... cause i knew you’d be mad’

And he grovels and begs and satoru doubts, just a bit, because suguru’s been a near-perfect pet thus far (and had been entirely correct about him being mad) and also the alcohol and anger is starting to wear off. Now he’s just kind of kicking around a crying broken mess and that’s honestly pretty pathetic.

He will not be telling his therapist about this. He doesn’t know what face they would make.

So he’s like. Fine. whatever. And drags suguru back to the office by his hair because he doesn’t quite believe him and also might kill him is he’s lying

But he looks again at the picture he got - resists the urge to give suguru another kick - he’s sniffling in a little ball on the floor, it just would not feel satisfying at this point - and starts going through the security footage of the stores around that alley

Of course he has access to all of them. He basically runs this town

Eventually he finds it - suguru walking and… and that’s a man grabbing him and yanking him into an alley

Fuck

He flicks through a few cameras and sees suguru get… brutalized would be a nice word for it.

Well fuck.

He feels entirely fucking sober at this point and just kind of stares at where suguru is taking pained, hitching breaths on the floor

… it appears he may have fucked up

First, he gets down on the floor and tries to find an uninjured part of suguru to touch, to rouse him. This proves… difficult.

Fuck. he definitely should’ve been beating up the guard that was supposed to watching suguru. And the people that did… that… to him.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He brushes his fingers against suguru’s temple and he stirs, looking up at him and smiling for a second before it all seems to come back to him and he’s bowing to lick at satoru’s boots again, murmuring, ‘i’m sorry, i’m sorry’

Satoru tilts his head back up gently by his chin and tries to make his voice as soft as possible when he says, ‘it’s okay. I found the video, i saw, i’m so sorry’

Instead of relief, his face crumples. ‘You saw?’ he whimpers

‘Shh, shh, i saw how hard you fought, how brave and strong you are.’

Suguru just starts crying; he holds him and calls shoko up, giving her a very succinct, ‘i fucked up. I need you at my infirmary. Now.’

She hangs up but satoru knows she’s coming

He picks suguru up and carries him there as gently as possible while suguru cries quietly

Finally when he sets him down suguru asks, ‘how mad are you?’

Satoru is such an asshole

‘Not mad at all. You should be mad at me.’

Suguru nuzzles into his hand. ‘Why would i do that?’

Fuck

Shoko shows up and is in immediate doctor mode, but suguru clings to satoru and starts whining the second they aren’t touching

‘What the fuck happened?’ she asks once he’s mostly bandaged up and sedated.

He tells her

She yells. a lot. He knows he deserves it

She keeps suguru sedated and asleep for three days

When she’s about to wake him up, she keeps asking ‘are you sure he’s going to wnt to see you when he wakes up. Are you sure.’

Satoru is pretty shit at most things, but he is sure of this

Even though she’s shoko, he is still her boss, so eventually she’s like… fine but if he freaks out and i have to put him under again i’m kicking you out, whether you sign my paychecks or not

Suguru wakes up slowly and looks around frantically until his eyes land on Satoru, he almost rips out his IV lunging for him

‘Shh, hi baby, i’m here,” satoru says, catching him and pressing him back into the mattress. ‘you shouldn’t move too much. How are you feeling?’

‘How mad are you?’ suguru asks instead. ‘i‘m so sorry, i swear i’ll make it up to you -’

He can feel shoko glaring at him

‘I’m not mad, sweet pet. I’m not mad at all.’

‘Please don’t leave’

‘I’m right here. Tell me how you’re feeling?’

‘I’m fine,’ he says, even though he’s bruised in more places than he’s not and shoko had confirmed that there was ‘genital trauma’. At least he was able to say that wasn’t him.

After a bit of back and forth they get one of the queen sized hospital beds and transfer suguru into it, satoru climbing in with him

Shoko very obviously doesn’t approve, but every time she even hints at satoru leaving, suguru clings to him so tightly he has to soothe him so he doesn’t hurt himself further

He mouths, just text me, at her over his shoulder and she gives a short, sharp nod, leaving

And boy does she text him. Mostly variations of ‘what the hell did you do to that poor guy’

The thing is satoru doesnt know

Suguru should be fucking running for the hills

But instead he has a panic attack when satoru has to get up to take a piss

So. he doens’t know if it’s the right option, but he just gives his all to nursing suguru back to health

Once he’s healthy enough, he moves them to his bedroom

Gets anything suguru wants delivered - he’d go out to get it, but he has to keep the bathroom door open when shitting so that suguru doesn’t spiral

When he suggest therapy suguru asks, ‘why would i need therapy?’

He convinces him to try therapy. It does not help. Hard to fix someone that doesn’t understand something is wrong

Satoru wishes everyday that he could take back his actions. He can’t even goad suguru into being mad at him to get any relief, suguru seems to think any barbed comment he makes is deserved, so he stops those pretty quickly

(he does make sure the people that raped suguru are killed. Violently. But he can’t justify being away from suguru long enough to do it himself. This also eats at him.)

After long months of cuddling and coddling satoru does have to go back to in-person work. Shit just doesn’t function without him

Satoru tries his best to get suguru all set up. He’s almost fully healed by now, and is completely silent as satoru tucks every soft thing he has around him, scenting him and kissing him and promising him he’ll be back soon

(satoru deals in dangerous things. It’s already gotten suguru hurt once. He can’t have that happen again)

He rushes through everything he can, hurries back and… sugruru is nowhere to be found

Satoru finds him curled up in a lump in the corner of the closet, bleeding from self-inflicted scratches and bites and whispering ‘i’m sorry,’ over and over again.

So. that didn’t fucking work.

He fixes suguru up as best he can and snuggles him back to health, but it takes two days before he seems lucid, and then he won’t talk about it. Just completely refuses. Either says he doesn’t remember or that it’s not a big deal or that he deserved it. Always shifting what he’s actually saying, deflecting and contradicting

Satoru gets him all kinds of tests - brain scans and MRI’s and blood tests and - nothing’s wrong. At least nothing anything can pick up.

Therapy yields the same results as last time. Suguru doesn’t think there’s anything wrong, so there’s nothing to work on

Fuck

The thing is, satoru has hundreds of employees, in both legal and less-than-legal areas that he can’t just abandon. Shifting his empire off to someone else isn’t something he thought he’d have to do for another ten to twenty years

And he can do a lot from his computer

But he can’t do everything

So he’s going to have to figure something out here

Suguru won’t let anyone but him, nanako and mimiko close to him, and only lets them close after a lot of coaxing from satoru and while satoru is holding him so leaving him with someone is not possible

He has to leave again eventually and…

He ties suguru up so he can't hurt himself

Which is fucked up but he has no idea what to do

Suguru is catatonic for days after that, but… at least he didn’t hurt himself physically?

Yeah he really has to figure *something* out.

Eventually after getting as much out of suguru as he can for why he’s like this (cobbles it all together to come up with: he’s scared satoru is going to think he cheated on him again ((satoru tries to assure him he didn’t cheat to no avail)) if he’s alone, and also when he’s alone he’s vulnerable. Satoru would protect him from anything but that doesn’t matter if satoru’s not there. And also he always thinks satoru is abandoning him or kicking him out when he’s not right there constantly providing assurances

So.

Kind of a problem

The solution: he gets a near indestructible cage custom made to fit under his desk, shows suguru how goddamn indestructible it is, and locks him in there (with all the soft scented things that will fit in there with him) with a clock that tells him when satoru will be back

It… works

Satoru kind of feels awful but that’s nothing new these days

He tells satoru he’s the only one who knows the code for the lock (Shoko and Kuri both know it, but what's a little bit of lying at this point)

So. suguru is safe in his cage when satoru is gone. He can’t get out, no one can get in, and he knows approximately when satoru will be back

He leaves all kinds of entertainment in the cage but suguru just sits there and watches the clock

Satoru tries for a long time to help suguru to get better. But. he just doesn’t

The fic ends with suguru’s pov of getting lifted out of the cage by satoru, he talks about how happy he is that satoru’s back, how happy he is that satoru forgave him and is still willing to be his master

Basically his brain is all sort of fucked up

But he’s happy!

He and his girls eat good food. They never have to worry about anything; they get to go to university for fashion and satoru networks so they are apprenticed by internationally renowned designers

And then satoru offers to mark him and he’s explosively unreasonably happy

It’s strongly implied that satoru doesn’t actually want to mark him. At least not like this. But it’s been years and suguru’s not getting better

And he’s the reason why

So he’ll spend the rest of his life trying to make him as comfortable as possible

Anyway. A few notes: this was how i was going to make a story both a dead dove do not eat and a happy ending. Suguru’s brain is fucked to hell but he doesn’t have the awareness to understand that. Satoru was fucked up and evil and will spend the rest of his life repenting for it

But in the in-betweens? When they’re cuddling together, playing video games or watching movies, snacking and going out to dinner? It’s nice. They’re happy. E=even if it’s all kinds of twisted, there’s a lot of love between them, and as long as satoru’s there, suguru doesn’t mind teasing him, pushing his buttons, basically being a little shit. He just self destructs when alone (without the whole cage protocol).

Nanako and mimiko spent their formative years in the Gojo mansion, like Riko, so they have a skewed perception of whats right and wrong, and they think something might be wrong with satoru and suguru, but suguru says he’s happy, and he wouldn’t lie

They’re brilliant, and they easily become famous designers. They travel a lot with riko and kuroi. Sometimes satoru and suguru, but suguru can’t stand anyone but them being within three feet of him and no one but satoru, mimiko and nanako touching him, so it can be tough

Anyway. i’m sure you probably understand why this story will not be going in this direction anymore. First of all, it would be horribly out of character for how i’ve already written them. Second of all i might cry. Third of all you might cry. Last of all i think satoru and suguru might cry

Anyway, i already have a decent idea of where we’re going instead but i wanted to type this up because i thought it would’ve been a neat story and i was GOING TO KILL THAT DOVE dammit

17 notes · View notes