jmagnabo92

[jmagnabo92]

bobby nash + 🫂🫂🫂

[jmagnabo92]

Buck Week 2025 - Haunt Elsewhere

@buckweek Prompt - Ghosts

After Buck moves into Eddie's House post-leaving for El Paso, he feels like he is haunted ala when he lived at Abby's, and does whatever he can to avoid the place.

Only one person can help him make it his home.

AO3

***

Ever since the move, Buck’s been avoiding unpacking. 

In fact, he’s been avoiding even staying at Eddie’s – his – Eddie’s place.

It just … it feels like he’s haunted when he’s there. 

Seven years. 

It was Eddie’s for seven years.  Even if he was just a renter.  Never really planning to stay.

Everywhere he looks Eddie’s ghost is there… in the house, in his jeep, at the station.

He never realized that Eddie played such a role in his life.  He knew that he was his best friend, but this – well – this almost feels like being haunted by Abby (which is decidedly not great) and he’s trying to avoid it.

He goes to Chim and Maddie’s until Chim complains.

He offers to take out the Wilson’s kids and give them a night off and pretends to crash on their couch, so he doesn’t have to go home.

It works for about two 48s off shift before Karen says, “As much as I appreciate all the alone time with my wife, I can’t imagine our couch is as comfortable as you’ve been pretending it’s been.”

Which, true, so then he hooks up with Bobby.  Bobby seems delighted to have him over at their finished house – wanting to have it filled with good memories as soon as he can.  Athena doesn’t seem to mind… at first.

It helps, of course, that his visits bring May and Harry to visit, too, and they almost feel like a real family. 

Unfortunately, it only lasts about a month of visiting when they’re not on a shift before Bobby looks at him while they’re cooking dinner at his house, May and Athena playing some game at the kitchen table while Harry plays video games in the living room, and says, “When was the last time you went home?”

Buck shrugs.  “I go home all the time.”

“Really?” Bobby asks. 

“I can leave if I’m bothering you guys –”

“Stop that,” Bobby states, firmly.   “You’re not bothering us.  I’m just worried about you.”

“Worried?  I’m perfectly fine.  I’m not even baking anymore.”

“But you aren’t going home, either,” Bobby counters.

“Sure, I am,” Buck lies.  “I went home this morning.”

“To shower and change – you were right back here at lunch, and you have spare clothes in a bag in your jeep for when you pretend to crash on the couch and it’s ‘too late’ to drive home.”

Buck stops stirring their dinner.  “I – I just have been, uh, sleeping better on the couch.”

“Even with your knee?”

“It’s not a big deal,” he lies.  It’s actually been hurting a lot, and he was limping the other day, but he hopes Bobby didn’t see that.

Bobby coughs.  “Buck, you must think I’m an idiot.”

He looks up at him.  “Of course not.”

“Then tell me why you think I haven’t noticed since you moved to your new house that you haven’t spent any time there?”

“Who says I haven’t?” Buck counters.

Bobby gives him a look that says that everyone has absolutely been talking about this.  He should’ve expected nothing less after they talked to him about adopting the dog and Eddie’s leaving. 

“Well, let’s see – Chim complained to Hen that he thought you were moving into Eddie’s house not his about six weeks after Eddie left.  Then, Hen mentioned off-hand to Athena that while she was loving the date nights, she was worried about you when you spent nearly a week or so on her couch.  Ravi said something about you refusing to let him leave you on a night out until you had someone to spend the night with – and how he set you up with your ex, but that last one 48 off before you started showing up here.  And don’t get me wrong, I love having my kids visit, but it hasn’t escaped my noticed that it’s been a month, and you have been here nearly every moment we’re not on shift.  So… wanna tell me what’s going on?”

Buck sighs and tries to focus on stirring.  He knows he needs to talk about this.  He can’t keep letting himself be haunted.

Maybe telling Bobby will help.

“I feel like I’m being haunted by Eddie’s ghost.”

Bobby suppresses a laugh.  “Haunted?  You know he’s not dead, right?”

“Of course I know that!”

“Well, then, how does Eddie have a ghost that can haunt you?”

It’s a logical question and Buck hates it.

He huffs.  “Not like a real ghost.  More like – everywhere I look, I see him – at the station, in my jeep, at the house – I mean, we spent a significant of time together so I guess it makes sense, but I haven’t been able to sleep at the house or even unpack because all I keep thinking is that it isn’t my house – it’s his.  It’s like… it was with Abby…”

He hopes that Bobby understands what he means.  The reminder of Abby hurts his heart, a little.  He still hates how he wasn’t enough for her to stay.

“… she was gone, and I knew it, but I lived at her place, and it never felt like home.  Just a place that I was staying.  But this is different, too.  I’ve literally seen Eddie and Chris in that house whenever I visited – I never thought I was a visitor exactly, but now… now I feel like I am.”

He doesn’t mention the jeep or station, eventually those will be over-ridden.  He just needs time – the house, though…

Bobby takes a deep breath.  “I – I knew that you taking over the lease on his house to make it easier on him was probably bad idea…”

“I wanted to help after our fight.”

He doesn’t point out that he felt like the only one at fault, so he had to do more than apologize because Bobby already pointed out at the time that he completely disagrees with that.

“I understand that your heart was in a good place, but that doesn’t mean it’s in the right place for you.  It’s too late now, obviously, so we’ll have to fix it a different way, but I do want to say that I worried about this exact thing – except it’s probably worse than Abby because he was here so long.”

Buck nods.  “I just – I look around and it’s the ghost of him and Chris and… it’s not home.”

Bobby hums.  “Well, I think it starts with turning that house into your home.  Why don’t we go there after dinner and start unpacking?  We can spend the weekend making it truly yours – paint, unpack, purchase new things now that you have more space?”

Buck hums.  That might help, finally unpacking.  “Could I purchase a puppy?”

“What are you going to do with it during shift?”

“Bring it to the firehouse.”

Buck does his best to give Bobby his puppy dog eyes and naturally, it makes him melt. 

“Fine, but only if you start to actually make that place your home and you train him not to steal from the counter.”

Buck grins.  “He’ll be the best behaved puppy ever.”

Bobby laughs.  “Sure, I’ll believe that.  Deal?”

“Deal.”

[jmagnabo92]

Evan “Buck” Buckley + being left behind

((update to this set))

[jmagnabo92]

[jmagnabo92]

Cutesy Hetty/Trevor nose kiss if possible, please? :)

Hope you like it.

***

When they decided to get back together, Hetty and Trevor decided to do things a bit more slowly.  The first time was a bit of a chaotic mess of sneaking around and lots of sex until Nigel caught them and outed them, and they ended up breaking up. 

Then, sparks started to fly again when they became Power Friends, and they realized that maybe they could give it another try.

Except this time, they wanted things to be a bit slower. 

So, they took advice from the other ghosts (but mainly Sam and Jay) about going on dates, first and having them be chaste (he could just imagine his bros if he ever told them about chaste dates – they would take the piss out of him), but this is potentially for all eternity and if he’s frank, they’re lucky that the first breakup didn’t screw everything up with dynamics in the house.

So, slow is better, for now.

Except, well, now he doesn’t want to rush things.  He doesn’t want to make the first move back to that.

So, he’s letting Hetty take the lead.

It’s just, well, he knows that Hetty, despite all of her growth from Alberta, Flower and Sam (especially Sam), expects the man (him) to take the lead. 

So, he feels a little – trapped – how can he move things along while attempting to let Hetty take the lead? 

He asks this of the men in the house, and their responses aren’t the best:

“Perhaps, you should just not go beyond chaste dates.”

“Thor think opposite.  Man take control.  Just kiss her.”

“Maybe talk to her?  Set up a clear plan for progression in your relationship.  Like a relationship guide.”

“You’re asking me?  After teasing me about my Shiki tree?  Nah, good luck.”

He didn’t even argue.  He just let the room – HIS ROOM – disappointed.

He was so disappointed that he went to Jay.

Jay, how do you move a relationship to next stage if you’re waiting for her to make the move, but she grew up in the gilded age, and therefore, thinks the man should lead?

He presses read aloud and Jay jumps about a mile at the sudden noise. 

“Damn it, Trevor!  What did I tell you about making me jump with sudden texts?”

It’s not like I can warn you since this is the only way I can talk to you.

Jay huffs, unhappy.  “Fine.  Uh, I’m guessing this is about you and Hetty?”

Yes.  Do you know any other gilded age women in this house?

“For all I know there could be a whole bunch of them.”

Fair, and yes, Hetty.

“Well, I know you’re trying to be all… chivalrous, I guess?  At least from what Sam tells me because she thinks it’s hilarious.”

So, you’re not going to help me either.  The guys were less than useful. 

“Did I say that?” Jay asks, a tease in his voice.  “No, I didn’t.  I was just pointing out that I get that you’re trying, but Hetty didn’t fall for you the first time because you were chivalrous and let her take the lead, did she?”

Well, no.  Not really.  We kind of went from kissing to sleeping together.  Why we’re dating now and taking it slow.

“Alright, well, it’s been a while.  So, maybe just start with sweeter kisses, and she’ll get the hint and take over.”

Sweeter kisses?

“Hand kisses, cheek kisses, forehead kisses, nose kisses.  Really, you don’t know this?”

My kissing habits are usually to get someone going.  Tend to be passionate kisses.

Jay hums.  “Give those sweeter kisses a try.”

Alright.  Thanks.

So, he tries it. 

He kisses her hand at the beginning of their next date and at the end kissing her cheek.

She seems pleased, but nothing changes as he implements that over the next few days.  

No big step forward.

So, feeling playful and hoping that being a little closer to her lips would prompt something, he kisses her nose at the end of their next date.

Hetty let's out a little surprised laugh but looks pleasantly pleased and kisses his nose back before disappearing inside the mansion and leaving a Trevor a little confused.

Not exactly what he was going for, but at least she’s happy, right?

So, he supposes that’s a good sign. 

So, he continues and sweet, flirty kisses.  The kind that usually with him would go somewhere, but right now, apparently doesn’t.

That is until he overhears the ladies during their regular ‘meetings’. 

He knows spying is wrong, but he hears his name and well, he’s curious.

“I just do not understand,” Hetty states.  “The first time around it took one kiss and yet…”

“Maybe he’s waiting for you to push it to the next level,” Alberta offers.

“Except he is aware that proper ladies do not take next steps in a courtship.”

“You don’t have to answer to the man anymore, Hetty,” Flower comments.  “Do what you want, you’re in control, remember?”

“Yeah, Hetty, take control!”

He doesn’t hear a response from Hetty, but apparently, she must’ve been bolstered up to go for what she wants because she comes right through the wall and straight for him.

She grabs his face as she pulls him close much like that very first kiss and he knows exactly what she wants.  He doesn’t need her to break the kiss and tell him to follow her (though she does) because they’re finally on the same page. 

And it’s the page that they both want to be on.

***

Thanks for the ask!

[jmagnabo92]

911 (2018 - ) 3.10 // 8.15

[jmagnabo92]

CHIMNEY HAN & 'BUCK' BUCKLEY 9-1-1 S08E15

[jmagnabo92]

Buck Week 2025 - Fears of Forever

@buckweek. Prompt - relationships.

After his breakup, Buck decides to explore a bit and maybe slightly return to Buck 1.0 (except one-night stand dates) until one of those throw him into some uncertainty that Hen helps him out with.

AO3

***

Sometimes, Buck wonders why he even bothers trying to get in a relationship.  He’s so lost when it comes to making a relationship work.  He keeps wanting to find his forever person, but it seems like they keep alluding him.  Hanging around for a while before they get annoyed with him.

Bobby would say that he’s looking in all the wrong places.

Especially since he’s decided to explore his sexuality in an almost Buck 1.0 way.  True, he does at least ask them for coffee or dinner, first, which is a step up from hooking up in the firetruck for a quickie.

So, he doesn’t tell him this.

He doesn’t tell anyone this, actually.

He loves his team, really, he does, but they’re a bit judgy about his relationships – which admittedly is fair, he doesn’t have the best luck – so, he doesn’t tell them.

The team knows that he’s single, so they try to make an effort to invite him to do things off-shift. 

Which, normally, would be a great thing – he appreciates it.  Especially since his last relationship had seemingly been great… until it hit an expected end, but… he wants to explore… and he can’t do that when Hen and Karen invite him to some kid-event with Denny and Mara, or Chim and Maddie invite him out to dinner or Bobby and Athena host a BBQ that may or may not be about getting him, May and Harry to visit as a family.

Even Ravi gets in on it – inviting him out to drinks.  Eddie does the opposite, choosing to make him babysit Chris, which Buck doesn’t exactly mind. 

But Buck’s single and he wants to explore, not always be surrounded by happy couples and happy families – although, to be fair, Ravi was single, too.  But it was mostly happy couples and happy kids and that’s just not what Buck needs right now.

So, maybe he starts to cancel on them. 

He starts going out and planning one-night-stand type dates.  He’s perfectly okay with that being all it is. 

It seems like that’s the best thing he’s got when it comes to relationships – even if that’s not exactly what he wants.

***

It takes a few weeks before Buck finds himself in a rather unique position.

One of his … one-off dates wants to see him, again.  And he kind of wants to him, too.

It’s just, well, he’s promised himself that he wouldn’t do more than one date anymore. 

He just … doesn’t want to get attached and heartbroken, again.

He’s afraid to take this step.

What if a second date becomes three?  And four and then, six months goes by and he’s on the verge of I love you and … well, it all comes crashing down?

He can’t – doesn’t – want to do it, again.

He gets a follow up text that he’d originally ignored when he started to cook dinner at the station.

look, i – i know that we agreed it was just one date, but i – it doesnt have to be a date.  it could just be friends… with blowjobs (or more). 

The winky face at the end of the message has him smiling.  He did have a great time with Alex, and it was… he was a good man.  Attractive, charming, fun.  He seems to understand Buck’s struggles at the moment.  He really listened to Buck; he loved his mentions of research spirals.  Alex does those, too, and he had his own little spiral that had their dinner lasting way longer than his other one-date-stands.

So, it’s possible that Alex would be open to just a friends and benefits thing, but Buck knows his heart and he won’t be able to handle that for long. 

Is it possible that maybe he could give another relationship a try?

“You okay there, Buck?”

Hen’s voice breaks through his thoughts.

“Uh, yeah, of course,” he says, pocketing his phone and focusing on the stew he’s making.  “Why?”

Hen moves opposite him at the island.  “Well, it’s just … you seem a bit lost-in-thought.”

Buck shrugs.  “Guess I’ve been a little lost, yeah.  Got something on my mind.”

“Maybe you should let it out?”

Buck hums.  “I – it’s about relationships… and well, everyone gives me a hard time about my dating life so…”

Hen frowns.  “I know that we tease you, but we just want you to be happy, Buck.  You just deserve someone better than your last couple of long-term partners.”

Buck shrugs.  “Alright, I can admit the bashing of my recent partners’ sessions hasn’t exactly helped and makes me a bit self-conscious.”

“I promise that I will keep whatever you tell me to myself and just offer advice as you ask.”

Buck hums.  Hen does usually give solid advice and teases him less if it’s just the two of them.

“I’ve been one-date-only for a while.   Not exactly like Buck 1.0, but not terribly far off.  I just – I don’t want to get too attached, you know?  I keep getting attached and then, getting heartbroken,” Buck admits. 

“Buck, you – it’s not your fault that you fall for people that clearly don’t deserve you.  It’s not your fault that people aren’t realizing how amazing you are, how having someone like you in their life makes it even better.”

Buck shrugs.  “I think some knew that … for a short time before I became too much.”

Hen frowns.  “You didn’t become too much, okay?  Abby was looking for a boytoy to distract herself and was too terrible to be honest about that.  Ali couldn’t handle the job and that’s… okay.  It’s not for everyone – hell, Karen still has issues with it, sometimes.  It’s hard knowing that your loved one might not turn from work one day.  Taylor was more interested in her career, which is also fine, and she was always going to put that first.  If you two were honest with each other, I think you both knew that.  It’s amazing you lasted as long as you did.  Natalia was… you were going through a lot with the lightning thing and … you know that your first boyfriend was complicated.  You weren’t afraid to make your first boyfriend something serious, and you’d think given the age gap that he would want something serious, too, but like with Abby, that wasn’t what he wanted.  I’ve gone more in depth on that in the last few months, but Buck, the problem isn’t that you’re choosing the wrong people, exactly…”

“Then, what’s the problem?” Buck interjects, feeling dejected.  He doesn’t like it being laid out like that – especially the first and the last.  They meant so much to him – changing his life in ways that he hadn’t even realized were possible.  “Because you’re kind of making it sound like I’m the problem.”

Even if he should have realized his bisexuality sooner, he knows it wouldn’t have changed much.

“You’d think it’d be obvious, but … you have to talk to the people you want to date.”

“I do!” he states.  Not necessarily about looking for something long-term because he doesn’t want to scare them off, but it’s not just sex.  “I don’t just sleep with them!  I talk to them.”

“About what you want,” Hen states, plainly.  “It’s okay to be like – I want a relationship; I want something serious.  Just like it’s okay to say – I want just sex or a one-time thing.  And if you’re up front with them, maybe you’ll have a chance at happily ever after.”

“I don’t want to scare them away or give someone else my heart just for them to crush it.”

Hen reaches over and squeezes his hand.  “It’s okay to be afraid to put yourself out there and it’s okay if you need time to be ready again, but you’re never going to find your forever person if you don’t try.”

He let's her words wash over him and looks down at Alex’s message. 

He was definitely the one Buck connected with the most, and the only one that reached out afterwards. 

Maybe it wouldn’t hurt to try for more. 

Alex, any chance you’d want to meet up for a real second date?  Something that might go well beyond friends with BJs?

He glances up at Hen, who gives an encouraging nod when his phone chimes.

id be delighted.  just let me know when and where.

I will.

Hen catches his smile at his phone.  “Someone special?”

“I sure hope so.”

“Good, me too.  And I’m always here to listen.”

“Thanks, Hen.”

[jmagnabo92]

Prongsfoot Microfic Celebration!

A year's worth of Microfic prompts - curtesy of @prongsfoot-microfic -and it may be quite a bit late, but it's done!

366 fics, 110, 051 words and it's finally finished.

So stoked. :).

Here's a link to my Prongsfoot Microfic Series.

https://archiveofourown.org/series/3415501

[jmagnabo92]

PM - 366 - 2/29/24 - Hold

@prongsfoot-microfic

Sirius struggles with being free, but James is a good support.

AO3

***

Sirius feels like he can’t breathe. 

After dreams and nightmares, after being locked up in Azkaban and at Grimmauld Place, the idea that he could be free… and reunited with the love of his life.

That somehow, he’s standing at the edge of the ocean, free. 

“Is this real?” Sirius asks as James steps behind him, his arms wrapping around his waist. 

“It is, I promise,” James says, as Sirius leans back into his hold.  “You’re free, I’m back and we get to live our lives happily ever after with our kid.”

“I like the sound of that.”

“Good.”

[jmagnabo92]

PM - 365 - 2/28/24 - Kindred

@prongsfoot-microfic

Sirius and James are kindred spirits.

Ao3

***

If there was one thing that could be said about James and Sirius, it’s that they are kindred spirits.  The day they met it was as if they knew that they would have similar tastes and similar goals in life.

It was therefore no surprise when they spent every day practically attached at the hip. 

Years on, and no one was surprised that they fell in love and become one when they married five years after school.

It was as if they were always meant to be.

Kindred spirits finding each other to live together forever.

[jmagnabo92]

PM - 364 - 2/27/24 - Aimlessly

@prongsfoot-microfic

James wanders aimlessly away from the wreckage of their home.

AO3

***

James wanders aimlessly away from the wreckage of their home.  The death eaters had found them.  Voldemort had found them. 

He was destroyed, but Harry was bleeding and crying.  

James has no idea where his husband is or what the hell happened. 

He could only hope that his husband is okay, but in the meantime, he just walks away aimlessly not knowing where to go.

He just – he couldn’t stay there. 

He’s not sure how long he and Harry wanders before he’s suddenly faced with his husband running towards him.

“James!  James!”

“Sirius!”

They’re within a few feet of each other when Sirius’ arms wrap around him and Harry.  “You’re both okay,” he says in a voice that almost can’t believe it.  “I saw the house, I thought –”

James shakes his head.  “We’re – we are fine, just lost and confused.  My head’s been spinning and Harry has been crying… I just wanted to get away… to find you.”

“Well, I’m here now, love, and I’m going to take you both to get looked over, alright?  And then, we’ll sort it all out in the morning.  Okay?”

James gives him a smile.  “Thanks, love.”

“Anytime.”

[jmagnabo92]

Buck Week 2025 - Spare Me The Heartache

@buckweek Prompt - Defective Parts

When Connor and Kameron out Buck's secret plan to be their donator, it reveals a bigger issue for him that Bobby helps him out with.

AO3

***

Buck has a problem.

It’s not exactly a problem… it’s more like a fear.

He meant it when he told Connor and Kameron that he wanted – wants – to do this donation for them.  It’s just… there’s something stopping him.

Sometimes, it’s shift, but he has two days off between shifts and not all of them ended up on the weekend.  So, those weekdays that he could make it … why couldn’t he bring himself to do it? 

It was like any time he headed that way, he’d get distracted or sees something that gets his attention.  And before he knows it, it’s too late.

Then, he started to really focus on doing it only for a run of terrible luck – getting off shift and traffic, his car breaking down, and people showing up at his loft or calling him for help (and what was he supposed to do, not help?).

And now everyone at the firehouse knows and it’s just … well, they’re not exactly encouraging. 

Hen already knew and she pointed out the pitfalls, despite the fact that her son is adopted.

Chim had already told Maddie about the crazy thing Buck’s doing now and he’s got a dozen texts that imply it’s some sort of joke or, at least, it should be, because it’s too crazy to be a serious possibility.  

Eddie had gone on and on about how weird it would be for another man to raise Christopher, despite the fact that he’s been trying to find a stepmother for Chris, he just can’t see it making any sense to give up his own DNA like that.

There had been a debate in the engine that had only ended when Bobby stated that it was Buck’s choice, and they shouldn’t comment on it.

Oddly, he had not commented himself.

Though he has been sending him concerned looks ever since the discovery, but he has shut down any time someone tried to talk to him about it.  He seems determined to let Buck keep some semblance of privacy that was kind-of blown up by Connor and Kameron.

He’s kind of mad at them for it, but he’s also so confused.

How could he have made up his mind and then… not be able to do it?

It feels like there’s some sort of bubble or force stopping him from doing what he planned to do.

And he can’t wrap his head around it, like, at all. 

So, he grabs his laptop to do some research – research he probably should’ve done a month ago when he agreed to this.

He doesn’t get very far into it before Bobby appears at the top of the stairs.  “Couldn’t sleep?”

Buck shrugs.  “Lot on my mind.”

“No one’s been bothering you, have they?” Bobby asks, as moves to the kitchen to make tea or coffee.  Probably coffee.

“Nah, you shut ‘em down pretty quickly.”

“Yeah, but I don’t see everything.”

“Everyone’s been fine,” Buck assures him, still looking at his computer. 

Bobby hums.  The pot begins its work for coffee.

“And you?  Have you been fine?”

“Of course.  I – I am…” he pauses and looks up to see that concerned look on Bobby’s face.  “… not fine.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?”

Buck shrugs, but he moves closer to the island.  “I – well – are you going to judge me for it or can you be neutral?”

“I will be as neutral as I can be.  Can’t say there isn’t a part of me that’s worried about this choice, but it is your choice, and I will support you whatever your decision.”

That’s probably the closest he’ll get to neutrality, so he explains about the request and how he feels like Connor brought him home and gave him a family and he wants to do the same for him, but something seems to be standing in the way.

“… I just – I can’t understand.  I made this decision, I told them I would do this, but every time, I make my way there to donate, I’m like … distracted or something physically gets in the way.  Once, I was in the waiting room for my turn when I just – panicked – and left.”

Bobby hums, and listens, but doesn’t respond or say anything.

So, Buck keeps talking. 

“All I kept thinking while I was sitting there was about the babies on the wall and how – how I wouldn’t want any of them to end up like me, and like, you know, Connor would never do that, but I haven’t exactly seen him in years.  And sure, they’ll be good parents, but it’ll be obvious that the kid isn’t biologically related to him and what if the baby starts asking questions and they tell him about me and then it like triggers him to be like my parents – I can’t – I don’t want my kid – not my kid – to ever feel the way I did growing up.”

Bobby opens his mouth to respond but Buck’s on a roll.

“And ignoring all that, what if I can’t even father a kid, either?  What if my defective parts that failed Daniel fail Connor and Kameron, too?  What if I let them down after all this time and then, I don’t know … I just … it’s not – I was ready… I made my decision… but every time something gets in the way, I think it’s a sign.”

He finally takes a breath, shaking his head to clear it and accepting the cup of coffee made just the way he likes it.

Bobby takes that moment to speak.

“Buck, I say this will all of the love in the world and trying to be as neutral as possible – it doesn’t sound like this is the right thing for you to do.  You’re an amazing man for wanting to do this, it makes complete sense that you want to pay it forward in a way (to Connor for helping you find a home), and if it wasn’t for the, uh, situation, you grew up in – I wouldn’t hesitate to support the decision to help your friend have a family, but the fact is that situation does impact you and your decision.”

Buck opens his mouth to refute him, but Bobby isn’t having it, holding his hand up.

“You can trust Connor with your life, but there’s always going to be a part of you that is going to look at a kid and think I hope that they didn’t grow up like me and if that kid is your biological kid and you find out later on that Connor wasn’t as trustworthy as you thought, it will break you – not just your heart, but you.  One hundred percent.  And I’m not saying he will – I don’t know him – but I do know you and you’re not going to be able to get over this… you will always worry and if actually happens…”

Bobby trails off and puts his hand down, but then, a second later says, “And you do not have defective parts – if you can’t have a kid either, there’s nothing wrong with that.”

Buck lets his words wash over him.

He’s right.

He knows it.  Bobby knows it.

Bobby’s usually right.

And it makes sense. 

Yes, part of him was afraid that he couldn’t conceive a child either, and he’d let them down with his defective parts, but he knows, logically, that’s not it.  It’s not enough to stop him from doing this.

The truth is… his fear is deeper than being defective.

He … trusts people just fine, maybe too much, and most people in his life have let him down one way or another.  Even his family at the firehouse.

Even though he’s gotten passed it, it’s not like he fully trusts certain people, either… and if he can’t fully trust them, then…

Yeah, how’s he supposed to trust Connor not to end up like his parents?  Unable to truly love his kid because biologically it’s not his? 

He feels guilty for thinking that, but if his parents could be biologically related to him and still pull that shit … it would be hard to trust anyone not to do it…

And the fact is… he can’t let a child biologically related to him potentially go through that. 

Maybe he could work through safe guards – be Uncle Buck or something – but it would never be enough to make sure that his kid ends up happy and loved. 

Buck looks up from his cup to Bobby, who’s pretending like he’s not watching him carefully.

“I just wanted to help, you know?  But you’re right, I – I think that might be it.”  Buck shakes his head.  “I – I should’ve realized after the panic attack.”

Bobby hums.  “I think that was your body’s way of letting you know that you can’t logic your way into this.  You have to truly want it.”

Buck hums.  “I thought I did, but I also think… that there’s a part of me that thinks that how I feel, what I really want doesn’t matter.  That I was put on this earth to serve others – spare parts, you know?  And this, it fits into all that.  It’s not a lung or kidney… it’s sperm, what’s the big deal, right?  It’s not like I’m using it.”

Bobby looks like he’s trying not to laugh at the last bit.  He coughs and then says, “Well, this time that sperm was going to bring a new life in the world, and it’s okay that that is complicated for you.”

Buck nods.  “Yeah, I just … how am I going to tell them?”

“Gently, but firmly,” Bobby states.  “And I know they probably don’t know about Daniel, but maybe… if you wanted, you could explain that, but frankly, you don’t owe them an explanation.  It’s not like you had a contract or anything.  And if Connor’s really your friend, he’ll understand.”

Buck sighs.  “Thanks, Bobby.  You’re right – and if he doesn’t, well, then, he wasn’t the friend I thought he was.”

“Exactly.”

They fall to comfortable silence, Buck’s mind no longer buzzing and he knows… this is the right decision. 

And he hopes that Connor and Kameron will understand. 

And if not, he’s always got Bobby and that’s all he needs.

[jmagnabo92]

PM - 363 - 2/26/24 - Trickery

When James is nervous for his last game, Sirius uses a bit of trickery to relax him enough to win like Sirius knows he can.

AO3

***

It’s not often that James is nervous.  In fact, Sirius had never seen him nervous before.  None of his quidditch games prior to this one ever sparked a nervous, jittery response quite like this one is causing.

He knows it’s because he’s no longer just a member of the team, he’s captain, and the scouts are coming today.  Scouts typically come during the bigger matches – and this one of the biggest.   The finale.  The one that could and would determine the cup.

And it was James’ last game ever. 

So, naturally, he’s nervous. 

And Sirius needs to find a way to calm him down.  He knows that Gryffindor is bound to win, so he doesn’t mind playing a little trickery, causing James to think that he’s going to be lucky for the game, when really, he’s just going to be good. 

It was a simple bout of trickery. 

And James doesn’t call him out on it.  Instead, he announces it’s time for the game and Sirius smiles ready to cheer on his man to victory.

***

Just as he predicted, the game ends in a huge victory for James.  He was scouted, they won, and his future is set, everything is perfect.

Which is why Sirius is a little bit shocked when he goes to the locker room to congratulate him, and James isn’t smiling. 

The team is gone to celebrate, James is sitting on the bench in the locker room, looking upset.

“What’s wrong, James?”

“My big win isn’t a big win because you cheated.”

“Not true,” Sirius states, shaking his little bottle of liquid luck.  “I used a bit of trickery, so you’d relax and be confident, which is all you really needed.”

James blinks before suddenly he hits Sirius’ arm.  “You – how could you do that?”

“I knew that you’d let your nerves get the better of you, so I opted to help you dispel them.”

James huffs.  “I wasn’t that nervous.”

“Oh, please.  You were more nervous than I have ever seen you and that includes when you suddenly came out all wiggly and walking holes in the carpet because you thought I would somehow not be your friend anymore (as if I’d ever stop being your friend).”

James shrugs.  “Well, I suppose it did help.”

“It definitely calmed you down.”

“And helped me win.”

“Yeah, it did.”

“So, I guess I should thank you.”

Sirius pulls him close.  “I think of a few ways how you could thank me.”

James grins.  “And I’m going to enjoy every one of them.”

“Definitely.”

[jmagnabo92]

PM - 362 - 2/25/24 - Disuse

@prongsfoot-microfic

James has rescued Sirius, but there's a lot of healing left to do.

Ao3

***

James tries to be patient with Sirius.  He knows that the man might still be a little lost since his rescue from Azkaban, but there had been a part of James that believed that he would perk right back up after being rescued.

There had been a part of him that just believed that Sirius would bounce back like he used to, but he’s not said a word.  He just sits and mopes in a chair on the patio.

It’s difficult to be patient, but he’s trying.

Which is why he simply tries to make some tea and be a comforting presence without pushing. 

“Here’s some tea, love,” James offers. 

“Thank… you…,” Sirius chokes out. 

His voice cracks from disuse, but James can’t help the smile on his face. 

Finally, something comes from Sirius. 

“You’re welcome.”

He kisses him on the forehead and makes a silent promise: someday, it’ll be okay, but for now, at least they’re headed in the right direction.

[jmagnabo92]

I almost forgot it was sunday!

FP & Iceland

***

“Claremont-Diaz-Fox is quite the mouthful for a last name,” Ellen says, rather randomly.  She’d been quiet and distant since their arrival.  “Wouldn’t Claremont-Diaz have been enough?”

He’s not sure why this is the first real thing she’s said all dinner, but he knows that this is an opportunity to let her know that he wasn’t any happier with her than she was with him.

“It’s Diaz-Fox, actually,” Alex counters.

“It is?” Oscar asks, eyes a light.  It must mean a lot to him that Alex kept his name.

“It is,” Alex confirms.  “Ma always called me ‘Diaz’ whenever I was doing something recklessly romantic and well, the night we decided to leave, and then ended up married, I felt Diaz was the apt name to keep.”

He looks over at Henry, who’s smiling at him, and then at his ma, who looks quite bothered.  Fitting considering her assumptions and distance.

***

PF and Rain

***

Which is why, when they decide to be all muggle like and walk without their wands through the woods and it started to rain, they still had quite the distance to their house to cover. 

Sirius glances at James.  “Do we run, or do we enjoy?”

“Dancing the rain sounds like fun,” James offers, a mischievous grin on his face.

He grabs his boyfriend’s hand and pulls him close. 

Sirius laughs as he pulls James close and apart – they dance both a close, romantic dance and a dance that’s fun and jumping around like it’s a party.  They alternate since there’s no music, just them and the rain.

Sirius loves the way the rain looks in James’ hair. 

His glasses are fogging up, but Sirius doesn’t care, he looks gorgeous as always.

***

Tagging @lovelymasks @mycupofrum @onthewaytosomewhere @iboatedhere @tailsbeth-writes @suseagull5914 @goldenlionprince

[jmagnabo92]

PM - 361 - 2/24/24 - Speculate

@prongsfoot-microfic

James wonders if the school speculates about their relationship.

AO3

***

James hums as Sirius runs his hands through James’ hair.  His head is in Sirius’ lap and they’re alone in the common room. 

“What are you thinking about, love?”

“Wondering if people ever speculate about us.”

“Speculate that we’re together?” Sirius questions. 

“Yes.”

“Ah, I’m pretty sure that everyone knows, James.”

James frowns.  “They know?  How do they know?”

Sirius shrugs.  “Well, I just assume.  I mean, we don’t exactly hide our feelings for one another in public.”

James hums.  “Yeah, but I’ve always been affectionate with you.”

“True, but at some point, they probably figured it was more than friendship, especially since we never date anyone else.”

“Fair enough.”  He pauses.  “Do you think that we should … end the speculation, then?  In case anyone’s unsure?”

“Only if you do it by kissing me after you win the game tomorrow.”

“Deal.”