jodieduffield-blog

[jodieduffield-blog]

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The power in writing and expression, conversation, understanding... I am missing so much in my life. I have been willingly involved in just pure evil for so long I have forgotten who I am.... and as I write this I cannot help but release tears. My tears that could fill a lake and burst the banks. I have tried to train myself to ignore what matters to me, ignore my discomfort. I can't remember how to express anymore, I feel like I’m doing something wrong when I express my opinions. I have honestly been taught to not express my feelings now.. they are too much, unnecessary.. annoying. My silence is killing me. I am living in a way that is just categorically against everything I know. how did this happen 😔... I have honestly tried and tried to be the best me and then I gave up... and then I tried again even though it may not have seemed it. I have tried and tried to be the best for everyone tbh... twisting and turning until I take on the form of ‘good enough’ for certain individuals.. but I know now that it will never be enough. I loathe my need to be accepted, I loathe my fear of abandonment. I have hurt people I love along the way which was not only a wicked inevitability but also painful to my core to accept. I cannot fathom how many pieces my heart has been broken into.. how dissociated I have become. how am going to put it back together again.. once more? I know I will that’s the thing. I know I have it inside me to rise from ashes. For anyone and everyone else I pray for you to find your utopia. I want to love, I want to share, I want to grow. I want to be authentic, real and meaningful. I want my life to matter.. I’m sure it was supposed to. It’s got to. to I used to feel it in my bones 😔

[jodieduffield-blog]

[jodieduffield-blog]

"you need a bitch thats 'gon blast, spend cash with ya.. same time.. fuck good, drop ass for ya" & she love when i'm inside her, can't nobody divide us

[jodieduffield-blog]

Hey. :)

hey ☺

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☺ grumpy

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😍 bae

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