johanbrook

[johanbrook]

[johanbrook]

I'm just happier than I've ever been. I finally found someone that I am totally compatible with. It doesn't matter whether she's a male, female or hermaphrodite or a donkey. We're compatible.

– Kurt Cobain, in an interview.

[johanbrook]

Lisbon

Constant travelling is both horrible and amazing. This time, when I came into Lisbon, I had thousands of knots in my stomach. I've spent time in Sweden – a secure context with friends and family – since January. I've fallen in love with the best and coolest girl ever, my Clara, and I've started a new love affair with the city Stockholm as a bonus. And I'm going away from that, for what? Five weeks in a new city without knowing any people. The unknown. This time, it feels good coming home to something. Someone I'm missing.

I like Lisbon. It's a small city, and very friendly. By "friendly city", I mean it's easy to get into the rhythm. Not like London or New York or San Francisco, which I felt were being harder to get a grasp of, with their constant pulse. Lisbon is very old, and has the proximity to water although it's not right by the ocean – so there's no freezing humidity in the Autumn months.

The language is so cool. A singing, elegant tongue full of attitude. Slower and more laid back than Spanish, with a tint of Italian. I'm taking a language course here, during my remaining four weeks, in order to see if I can get more steady in talking. I've tried to surround myself with Portuguese since coming home from Rio last year, but I realise that I need to speak it a load more than I'm doing now.

The people here are lovely. They seem to have this ancient sense of politeness and service, but at the same time being completely relaxed in a south European way. Proud, with perfect English, the Lisbon inhabitants has welcomed me in the most perfect way possible.

I can't stop marvel at the cityscape though. The murals and mosaics, the winding streets (Lisbon is the "city of seven hills"), the ever present river. It's fair to say that Lisbon is beautiful from a micro to macro level. I'm currently here during the low season, but I've noted some small streets (in the old Alfama neighbourhood for instance) are empty and calm. No packs of tourists are roaming around, as they usually do in all European capitals. Cheap food and drinks. As it should be.

Back home it's November, with all that's included. I like the light here: it's like a never ending Spring. But I have nothing against the cozy darkness, where you can focus on the inside, and hide away behind candle lit windows in a small apartment.

Clara said the other day that "I've been doing a lot during the past two years" of travelling. Perhaps. I don't feel like it. But I've seen and felt many things, and foremost I've found many things. I've missed a real home, and I've been longing for someone to share life with. I now have those things, and I feel more calm than ever. I don't feel lost any longer, and I can channel my energies not only towards myself any longer, but on to Clara.

All in all, I am immensely blessed.

[johanbrook]

"A lot of times, people's interpretations about what you do is not about you. It's about them and where they sit in their life."

– Jay Z

[johanbrook]

Skönast utsikt ha de ställen, som det svårast var att hinna. Allra kärast blir den mänska, som det kostat mest att finna.

– Karin Boye

[johanbrook]

[johanbrook]

Breathing in, I calm body and mind. Breathing out, I smile. Dwelling in the present moment I know this is the only moment.

– Thích Nhất Hạnh

[johanbrook]

[johanbrook]

Börjar man bara att leta efter hat så hittar man det. Och när du hittar hat så börjar du själv att hata.

– Isak ("SKAM", S04E07)

[johanbrook]

Innocent morning light Not yet tainted by the actions of day Fading blissful night The ecstasy when laying with your bae

[johanbrook]

04:13

Låt mig komma hem Låt måsarna skrika

Ge mig roder, båt, och hamn Ge mig mänsklig värme, ge vika

[johanbrook]

From Hacker News:

I know a bunch (most) of friends who are on their third or fourth spouse because they were in such a hurry to get things done, they never took the time to figure out who their significant other was, who their friends were or why they liked them or who, in fact, they really were.

But when their friends start dying, they'll see them all start saying the same sorts of things, and none of them are, "I wish I'd spent more time working".

Building a happy life with strong relationships is important to the society at large. Trust me. Society without happy people without friends is fucking terrifying.

[johanbrook]

Incredibly Heavy Wet Summer Night

Stopping the time & fighting the darkness since us it cannot pierce live in the twilight live for tonight

Empty city, silent forest it's so heavy the envy & hate & indifference the compassion & passion you had it all

The sweetness of the dew in the twilight grass where we lay in dreams without ends I'll be your Lysander you'll be my Hermia yours + mine

Are you awake || asleep intoxication without means destruction without goals the night wine keeps our tomorrow away

The pink lights off the cliffs reflects in your face the face I hold, the face I love, the face I kiss I feel nothing but bliss we're high & we laugh & stare into the other to be young & in love what a curse, why would one bother the person will leave the memories will not

We wait until the birds remind us there's a tent & bed we're the passengers of the night

She's the mystery & she believes in the wishful summer night

[johanbrook]

Habibi

The city is bright and warm Kids on the streets are getting ready Got friends beside me but still am torn And my heart remains heavy

A missing piece is carving my mind What is it that I most desire Was it something I left behind Was it that yellow fire

Hello from beyond the glass wall Hello from the mute zone You will never watch me fall I can never call

I play the waltz for Satan You still have the power To crush me With his and your words

I wish for a better writer In the script that is us To tell me what to say to make things brighter To have told me what to do when I caught that bus

I don't expect you to care of what's going on in my head Half of me don't It's just that I'm asking to be heard But I'm sure you won't

What disturbs me isn't that we weren't a fit It's how you're now here but still linger How many times should I have to quit How many times should I have to give your ghost the finger

I've been so weak and afraid and selfish and bad Confused little boy Too bad you can't see me now when I'm sad You'd be Agamemnon, I'd be your Troy

What I want now most in the world Is to be your friend and smile – more than an avatar It will probably never ever be like before But I think it would take us far

[johanbrook]

Maj rinner, juni kommer Inom mig finns En stilla bön om lugn igen Var är ögat i orkanen Var är känslan i magen

Känslan som förr var min tripp Är nu min kniv Varenda cell muskel ben i min kropp ville värma dig när du frös Nu går jag hem själv om den ljusa morgonen Fåglarna tröstar men jag kan aldrig sluta glömma Jag kan aldrig gömma

Jag vill bara vara din vän På sekunden

[johanbrook]

I loved the words you wrote to me But that was bloody yesterday I can't survive on what you send Every time you need a friend

– Billy Bragg

[johanbrook]

Varje pojke och flicka jag älskat Säger alla farväl Till gbg Men vi finns kvar Stad i regn I varje gathörn I varje bar I varje säng

☀️