19 going on 20. Malaysian living in Singapore all my life. Jesus' boy. Born a new creation. Solo traveller. A dream to travel around the world.
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Myanmar.
Did I regret or not? Having mixed feelings. Well, I am glad it ended. Now I have to get my life in order back in Singapore. The house seemed like it was waiting for me. Parts of the house was so messy and that includes my brother. Haiz. Well, back to the topic of Myanmar. I must say it was a really good experience living overseas for the first time away from my parents. I dare say I am very independent which my teachers think so too. So for those naysayers out there, I am a survivor. I can travel alone. What makes you think I can’t live in a foreign land. I also managed to learn many new things and ate different kinds of food. I learnt how to navigate through the disgusting politics and the social problems when living in the same house with complete strangers. I mean they are your coursemates and colleagues but not blood related right. I broke away from my usual food that I ate in Singapore. In Singapore, it was always Subway, Macdonalds and Starbucks. You name it. Myanmar didn’t have all that.I ate steak, Mexican food and many others. I also went to a club for the first time since reaching the legal age last year. I also found my new found interest in EDM: electronic dance music. I also learnt how to cook and brought my lunch box to work.
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Some semblance of things being back to normal.
Hopefully.
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The Maze Runner: The Scorch Trials
This movie was awesome!! Absolutely worth even cent. Can’t wait for KL though HAHAHAHA.
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SHOULD NOT HAVE COME BACK
Yes I am back home. But guess what. Problem after problem at home. Over what? Something so small n minute that it isn't worth quarreling about. Guess what? It's about weekly house cleaning. So petty to quarrel about isn't it? It's not like I didn't do any household chores when I touched down yesterday right?!?!?! Really so sick n tired that I feel like I don't belong at home. Myanmar gave me enough problems and now it's home. Why. I seriously don't understand. I might as well live the loner life in some faraway city n don't come back. Seriously don't understand why my brother got to be like that. If this continues on like that, I am seriously not gonna be myself.
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When I don’t trust in this friendship anymore.
You will know it someday or soon. I already don’t trust in this friendship anymore. Ask yourself deep down in your heart. Did you really put in the effort? Was I the only one that is in self-denial? It was so damn selfish of you. Really. Enough is enough. I really should move on.
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Both also jialat.
I just can’t wait to get out of here. Enough of all that acting, pretense and crap. Really here can film drama already sia. Not enough sure whether people fooling me or not. Seriously I am doubting people. John, trust in God. Have faith. Look to Jesus. Amen! Lord Jesus, should I or should I not change money. I seriously hate him to the max. Trying to play with my feelings. Very good ah. You can. I cannot. You ask. I cannot ask.
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Cocky and arrogant.
As usual. Got used to it. Damn cocky and arrogant. Don’t act like you have travelled the whole world. It’s a huge turn off.
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Trust God.
Trust God and keep on looking to Jesus. Have faith and trust God. Jesus loves you and is for you. Amen!
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Seeing people change isn't what hurts. What hurts is remembering who they used to be.
some Dayre post I saw
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Looking back at the time I had in Myanmar.
When I am home, one of these days I will look back at my Tumblr posts and laugh it all out. Those memories.
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4 MORE DAYS!!!!!
4 more days and I will be back home!!! The feeling is just so surreal. It’s funny how I am a Malaysian yet my home is in Singapore. HAHAHAHA. It’s time to get off this roller coaster ride I have been on for months. Thank you Jesus for helping me to get through this 6 months in Myanmar. I love you Jesus because you first loved me with your unconditional love. Regardless of what people say of me, I know Jesus loves me for who I am. Amen!
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Sigh pie
Today I read some entries from dayre and I felt I could connect with these posts. These posts were all about being lonely and people changing. When people change, they tend to change to the worse.
Let me quote from this post that I saw with edits to the grammar.
“I remembered talking to someone about people changing and how they aren't who they used to be. Isn’t it strange how people can CHANGE and become a DIFFERENT person within years, months or even days.”
“ I just find it amazing and sad how one can change their personality and how they treat/feel towards others. Not to mention how SCARY it is? Imagine you MET someone and you became CLOSE to him/her. Out of the blue, the person suddenly TREATS you DIFFERENTLY, talk to you differently or totally ignores you. Just the thought of it SUCKS already.”
“How i hope that there is this machine that can make anyone behave/act the same since the day they are born. If that machine exists, at least we can know who to TALK to and TRUST.”
I feel you Bro. I experienced that not just once but many instances. What more an emotional and crazy roller coaster ride. I experienced it with 2 persons in Myanmar. I experienced once in secondary school. The first person changed so much until I am speechless. No words to say. I didn’t expect him to be like that. But oh well. It’s over.
The second person is just not meant to be. I tried many times but it was just one-sided. Maybe I wasn’t cool enough for you. It was because of you I experienced bouts of emotional moments. It’s just too bad it’s over also. I tried but you always avoided. Even suggesting to watch a movie and take a picture together fell on your deaf ears. Let’s move on from this episode John, shall we? Going home soon and I don’t think we 5 will ever meet again apart from settling our MP. It’s kinda sad that our group just cannot be together. Too diverse. I envy other internship groups who will meet up after internship and get together. For example, the 4 female GLs for this year’s AMS Camp are so close and super bonded after the camp. So cool and I envy that. The loner part will be written for another day.
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My last day with you Ning!!! Sad that you can’t send us off on Friday but see ya soon when you are back in Singapore! Remember I got your back ya!
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Wah very smelly eh....Dunno whether people can smell or not.
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Bored.
I wanna talk to someone on Whatsapp. So bored and I don’t have the feel to do work even though I have so much work to do. Sigh pie. Miss the chats we had.
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