jonghyun-stretto

[jonghyun-stretto]

....it smells terrible in here. like mold and jinki's lacking sex life.

[jonghyun-stretto]

...sneezes.

[jonghyun-stretto]

[jonghyun-stretto]

“For a star to be born, there is one thing that must happen: a nebula must collapse. So collapse. Crumble. This is not your destruction. This is your birth.”

— n.t.

[jonghyun-stretto]

“Today, I watched you die. It was exactly the kind of day you wanted it to be—a soft sky, and a temperate sun, high above our heads like a kite floating astray. There were five hundred fifty two blades of grass on the little patch of the earth you were sitting on. Six hundred more on the patch I laid on, right beside you. You told me you were happy to die a simple man. You never thought you’d come this far, even. The hospital was a breath of fresh air from the damp soil, and rickety motel rooms, and over-driven cars. To not die simply—of an ailing heart, of old age—was a family curse you were happy to break. You plucked off a blade of grass from the ground. I started to count again. You touched my cheek with just the tips of your fingers, and you rolled your eyes. “You could at least age along with me.” I chuckled a little amused— a little sad. “There.” You murmured ‘asshole’ and let your head fall against my shoulder. You breathed into my neck, and out again. I love you too. Today, I watched you die. Just as I always did, (Sleeping soundly, raking leaves—) When I watched you live.”

— —n.t. “A Man of a Million Years”  ♪

[jonghyun-stretto]

happy birthday to my favorite monster.

[jonghyun-stretto]

.͂̏̓.ͥ̌̿ͦ̌̍̐.̊͒ͤͣ͒w̍h̒a̐̔͗̎̆ͤ̒t̑ͩ͗͌̋ͤ̃ ͫ̑a͆̅͂ͭͫͥb͛ͧo̊ͫͨ͂̓ût ̈̿̀̆̊͌̃h̀͒ͥ̐ù̆̄͌̓ͧmͣͦ͂̎ȃ̎ͩ̽͑̀͂n̏͂̉ ͗ͦ͋͊ͫf͗̓l̈ͯͯ̉̔̓eͬ͐̒̂͌̔̾sͥhͯ͛̍ͨͯ̈́?ͫ

-/the statement sinks into the area with a grin far too wide to be cheery, fingers curling around jinki's collar with a sharp tug to untangle those treacherous... paws away from zelo.-

i mean, it's been so long since i've cooked for our son, dear --how about a slice of pie?

Mmph— 

-what was with everyone crying over him these days? he didn’t quite get it as the air is squeezed out of his lungs with a choked breath, laced with smoke and rooibos. He tiptoes at the lift but the attempt is futile-

H-hey Appa— -he pats his back, maybe a touch too hard- 

[jonghyun-stretto]

i hope all of you have the tag wrapping extension just so you can appreciate the sheer level of desperation on that "no" tag.

[jonghyun-stretto]

Leave it to the dashing and amazing Kim Jongin to knock the entire of Ristretto with a crowbar in the head. Luring them with his dick pic was a feat easy enough: “cum to da XX warehouse 4 more ;~)”; and that was how he assembled all of his colleagues there, semi-conscious and fully naked. With a quick lick of his lips and a glance over at the bloody mess, a frown dons upon his features. It’s bloody, but it’s definitely not enough.

And so he starts working. The blood-stained coat hung loosely from his shoulders, making it easier for him to maneuver around with his equipment: a scissors for severing tendons in their knees to prevent them from fleeing, a hammer to knock out all their teeth and a scalpel to slice open their buttocks to have their lips attached to it. But oh no, Jaebeom bleeds to death!  Only then did he realize that that method would only cause fatal injuries to his victims and so with a change of plan, he uses a staple gun and an impossible amount of duct tape instead.

It takes him around half a day to complete the process of connecting everyone together, but boy did he enjoy every single moment of it. Saliva, sweat and mortal sins stained his entire being as he basked in the sweet scent of blood and perversion. He was humming a light tune to himself as he let his eyes take in the masterpiece—the Stretto centipede. A blood-curling scream shot through the air and Jongin winced—the only one who would’ve been able to make such a noise was Taemin, who was gracing the front line of the centipede. He walked towards him with careful steps before grabbing him by the chin to slice off his tongue with the scalpel in hand. Plop, and blood flows steadily from his agape mouth, a puddle of red pooling between his dirtied palms and Jongin sighed in relief.

It was practically impossible to keep the place dead silent with all the gagged whining but this will have to do. He headed back to his tool box and settled down in front of it with his back facing the centipede to look as though he was simply fumbling with his equipment, but he comes back with a huge syringe filled with laxative liquid and a dark grin on his lips before injecting it into all of the victim’s behinds. It’d take a awhile fo it to work, he figures, and so in the meantime, he trails his gaze down the line, intent and fond as his grin unconsciously fades into a satisfied smirk.

A tear-stained face Taemin and mouth full of blood at the front, followed by Hyuna who was crying her eyes out with muffled sobs stuck in her throat—oh yes, he purposefully put the two people he was closest to in the family at the front of the line because they deserve the best view even though he initially thought that no one was good enough to be attached to Hyuna’s ass other than himself. Next in line was a Jaejoong with hatred-filled eyes, then came Jinki with a face so contorted he didn’t even want to look, that new farm kid whom he may or may not have taken pity on and so he puts him near front, that Chaerin woman with a clowder of cats (or was it children?), his shit-faced boss Yongguk, the oversized Zelo who looked out of place entirely but he was the center for that reason—his size made him look like a strong connector. The rest  were the people Jongin didn’t take much notice of and alas, came the last two in line.

That bloody lizard-faced ass-grabbing little shit named Sehun and of course, last but not least, his most favorite being in this world, the champion of his heart, the Lord his saviour and his everything, Kim Jonghyun. And that also just so happens to be the moment when the sound of angry growls in their stomachs surfaced before their feces were forcefully ingested into each other’s mouths and ah ended with Jesus, bearing all of their s— sins. Jongin clasped his palms together and watched in glee as the midget took in the entire line’s worth of crap, his hands fumbling and attempting to push himself away but to no avail. Shortly after, he lets out his own release with a tearful groan, the thick, liquidized brown splatting against the wall behind him.

Jongin cringed his nose at that for a moment and that was when he decided it was time. He picked out a kitchen knife from his tool box and went down the line to repeatedly stab everyone in the back until they bled to their death. When it came to Jonghyun, he adjusted the midget’s firm ass so that he knelt comfortably behind him and pressed a gentle kiss to his butt cheek before stapling his own lips to the other’s dirty puckered hole and sinks the knife into his savior’s back. I have sinned by betraying innocent blood, was his final thought, and he pulls out the knife to slit his own throat.

❝ the stretto centipede: final sequence.

[jonghyun-stretto]

Name: Kim Jongin (Kai) Group: EXO Age: 20 Occupation: Barista at Cafe au Lait

Cafe au Lait’s worst barista in recorded history is back! Please follow and welcome him!

[jonghyun-stretto]

\

you two keep it up, and i'll go for a knockout.

Sounds like a deal I can work with. We’ll probably go about three rounds. Maybe four if he’s feeling lucky. 

[jonghyun-stretto]

HYUNA WANTS TO START A BRAWL

[jonghyun-stretto]

hyunaween replied to your post:'clears her throat;

…. disgustin’.

...don't knock it 'till you try it, sweetheart.

not to say i wouldn't be happy going through the front entrance too, eh?

[jonghyun-stretto]

did someone say ass eating.

...normally, i'd ask if you can read— but considering you've done a little more feeling than seeing that statement.

well.

(▰˘◡˘▰)

[jonghyun-stretto]

time to break out the daisy pasties, baby? -adorns a sunflower crown upon your head- ♥～(‘▽^人)

-/his bare back faces you for a moment— arched over and fussing over something attached to his front, only to turn and reveal the leaf tucked precariously over his... (not-so-private) areas— peering at your own outfit with a hint of unspoken jealousy.-

...why do you always get the good decorations.

[jonghyun-stretto]

'clears her throat;

...is that a customer i see—?

-/he straightens from a rather bored lounge at the shop counter, aiming a gleaming smile at the possibility of his business tactics actually working. (for once.) -

...would you happen to be interested in having your flowerbed pollinated?

[jonghyun-stretto]

jongjinstretto replied to your photoset:

jonghyun……………………

....you were saying, sweetheart? 

(▰˘◡˘▰)