jordanbstudentlion - Tumblr blog

[jordanbstudentlion]

Avant Garde Reflection

This was surprisingly my favorite assignment. I think I sometimes am too afraid to let people know what I am thinking. Therefore my work can feel guarded and misunderstood. But with Avant Garde, I felt like I could say something that made perfect sense to me but still could be left to interpretation for others. That makes me feel safe. I had fun making it. While I do think I will stick to narrative films maybe one day I can mix the two styles and see what comes about. Thank you for the opportunity to create something as weird as me!

[jordanbstudentlion]

Non Fiction Reflection

Making a documentary in two weeks is HARD. I had a ton of ideas for this assignment and I pitched what I felt was my best one. And thanks to Ulysses Breedlove himself (my grandfather) I was fresh out of subjects and an assignment. I think what I’ve learned from this exercise is 1) Not to trust my Grandfather and 2) Sharing too much information with documentary subjects could lead you in a direction you are not prepared to go. 

Beyond that, when one idea falls flat I still found it hard to get another idea off of the ground. I had to mass Instagram DM the food festival vendors to find SOMETHING to shoot. I didn’t just want to film the festival and I really wanted to have a behind the scenes look at the place. I am glad that it ultimately worked out but it is really hard not to be attached to your first ideas. 

My conversation with my subject, Deau, was so much fun though. He is a really cool dude and I think there is more to explore there when it comes to more content. Also, I love any excuse to go to a food festival and get free juices. 

I am glad to have had this opportunity to work on the project and I am interested in exploring doc work further in the future!

[jordanbstudentlion]

Fiction

Reflection 

I felt good about my idea but I have been having difficulty in the execution of my ideas in terms of my making my vision come alive on the page. I am genuinely unsure if my class actually liked my video as most of the feedback was negative. I think they did? Unclear. 

If I were to do it again I would add more contrast to the behavior of the main character to really amp the intensity of the situation. I would focus the shots more on the alcohol. Speed up the edits. I figure out how to make an explosion on AVID.   

[jordanbstudentlion]

Fiction

An escalating competition between friends with board games that turns into something more physical after a few rounds of what is supposed to be childlike fun.

One character is a continuous loser who proposes more and more board games to eventually best his friend. Eventually, this character reaches his boiling point in losing and decides to elevate the playing field through a physical competition.

[jordanbstudentlion]

Social Justice

I enjoyed the concept of my social justice film. I like using creativity for good. So overall having this to work on was beneficial to me and helped me realize what I value as a filmmaker. 

The process of creating the idea came to me quickly but my ability to take that idea and make it a reality was something I felt I didn't prepare for well enough. When I arrived at the location, it became apparent to me that parts of my idea were stronger than others and I felt that operated as a hindrance on the rest of the film.

I think everything looks better in your head so sometimes times I find myself getting frustrated when working on a project that isn’t going how I originally intended. 

If I could I could remake the video I would use 6 locations to really sell the difference between impoverished environments and casts double the actors. I do believe there is a way to better my current idea on a smaller scale, but I would have to think of a new way to visualize that.

[jordanbstudentlion]

Vision

Reflection

When creating my vision project, I was worried about how to convey an idea using abstract concepts. When I brainstorm, I like to set a timer and word association with a common theme. So as I grew frustrated, I decided to use, “Frustration,” as the idea and the word association grew from there. I thought about different sounds and visuals that I wanted to use and which ones were logical. In addition to thinking about what actions matched frustration, I thought about other feelings I had that could match frustration. This led me to an overall theme of frustration, anticipation, tension, and waiting.

I’ve always loved close up shots and the attention to detail that has to go into them so when I storyboarded my project everything was close up. In addition to being close up, I imagined sparks of color in each scene too. I personally like the color contrast with a bland background but also feel that color can be used to draw a viewer in and when that shot doesn't complete it could be jarring. In retrospect, I would emphasize this more and work on creating shots with more pop of color and clearly distinct activities that do not finish.

Completing the FRAC was easier done than said. Before I completed it I was confused but as I actually went through the mechanics of it all it makes sense and I am less intimidated by it now. Eventually, I would like to tackle an off-campus set but until then I am comfortable on campus. When I started filming I knew exactly what I wanted to do and accomplish in the hours I had for filming. Shooting went smoothly.

If I were to do the whole project over again I would add more details to my shots to make my idea clearer. But I liked the tone and look of my project and had a fun time prepping and filming.

[jordanbstudentlion]

Social Justice

Topic:  Discipline Gap in Public Education

I want to highlight how in the public school system minority and low socioeconomic students are often disciplined at a higher rate than their more privileged peers. These number can be quantified in numbers of suspensions and expulsions in a poorer school district compared to that of a richer school district.

This gap has various studied catalyst, one being the cultural barrier between teachers and administrators. Teachers and administrators that work in low-income neighborhoods may not understand the homes their students go home to at the end of the day; those same homes that have an effect on their behavior the next day.

Idea: Afterschool Special

The idea is to show a single camera setup throughout the entire two-minute film. Shots will be knees/waist down. With a single student going through their school day encountering various behavioral issues including cheating, tardiness, talking out of turn, and bullying. Then at the end of the day, they will return to their home where different signs of poverty will be shown including overcrowding, poor sanitation, and violence. The film will include 3-4 main unnamed and unseen subjects who will be shown during the two halves of the film; them at school and them at home. There will be other unseen characters to interact within the classroom but once at home, the students will be the only characters in the frame.

[jordanbstudentlion]

Vision

Discomfort and growing anticipation.

[jordanbstudentlion]

Vision

My mom, a self-proclaimed social justice warrior, went into labor in the middle of The Million Man March on October 16th, 1995. Unable (and possibly unwilling) to leave she stayed in totality, calling my dad hours into labor to tell him to meet her at the Washington Hospital Center.

My sister's names are Nyah and Taylur. Nyah is named after a character in Mission Impossible and Taylur is named after my third-grade bully. My dad and stepmom gave me the ability to name my second sister but I wasn’t happy with how the first one turned out and wasn't looking forward to another. Therefore, I named her after the only enemy I had at 8 years old.

I have had one stepmom and three stepdads. My favorite stepdad's name is Kenny. He helped me learn how to fix my car, pitch a tent, and still sends me birthday money. My mom and Kenny separated three years ago. Sabrina, my stepmom, has been married to my dad since I was 3. She is the most religious person in my life. She is hesitant to be authoritarian in my life however she has always been firm in my going to church.

I had three options in going to undergrad: Howard University,  Louisiana State University, and George Mason University. I hated all of my options at the time but picked George Mason University. I had a good 4-year experience but would approach the application process for undergrad differently a second time around. I joined a sorority. Going greek both matches and clashes with my personality. I quickly became a leader in my chapter and loved having a say in the comings and goings of a small 100+ army of young women. However, working cohesively with a small 100+ army of young women can be exhausting just as much as it is exhilarating.

When I was in high school I was bullied from middle through high school. To combat this my mom sent me to a leadership camp called the National Student Leadership Conference (NSLC).  It was only a 9-day program but I have since worked for that same organization and it has become a big part of my life.

However this summer I hated my boss. He was manipulative and phony. I never knew what he was thinking and it threw me off from the first day. He would talk about people behind their backs and then smile to their faces. I hated it. But the organization is my favorite and something I want to grow in but it sucks because now I have to grow in it alongside him. So not only do I hate him, I can’t get away from him either.

Although I named my sister after my third-grade bully, my true arch nemesis from my youth was Rachel Fox. She lived directly behind me and made my life hell in the 7th grade. I was scared of her and she knew it but in true teen girl fashion, I called her my friend. Our “friendship” climaxed when she pushed me down an icy flight of stairs and my mom threatened to call the police. Unrelated to the stairs, she is in jail now.

The most at stake for me in my youth was my self-esteem. I wasn’t comfortable in who I was and felt out of place no matter where I went. There isn’t a cure-all for feeling unwanted, unfortunately. I was awkward and thankfully awkward becomes quirky when you hit your twenties. I am trying my best but sometimes that low self-esteem creeps back in. I have a feel-good folder full of reasons I should be happy. It's incredibly cheesy but it works. It includes pictures and letters from friends. I started compiling it in high school and its worked thus far.

My parents separated before I was born and they have been bickering since. Stories of my childhood are always hazy because they come from two very different yet skewed perspectives. I spent equal amounts of time in each household. I feel that I am an equal dose of each of my parents. One part cynical from my dad, one part hippie from my mom. They are both abrasive, a trait that seemingly skipped me. I feel laid back and I often lack the bark necessary to stand up for yourself. I have to quite literally give myself a pep talk to talk in public spaces sometimes. But then on the other hand sometimes my mouth won’t shut. Sometimes I like to identify which traits belong to my mother and which traits belong to my father. After accomplishing something socially bold I’ll think, “That was a Kim trait,” and then after doing something mildly offensive but career progressive I’ll think,” How Keith of me.” Is that weird? Awkward? Quirky?

I once studied abroad in Ireland for one month. I hated it. It rains all the time, and there aren’t many people of color, which isn’t new to me but the Irish like to ask you about being black. It’s a hefty conversation to have with a total stranger but to each their own. I was taking a class in creative writing while there and when I was in class I was thriving. Other parts? Not quite. My class was made of students from my undergrad and each of them had such bold personalities I feel confident that I could create hundreds of characters stemming from them alone. One girl ran off with the bartender at our hotel during the first night and another was in color guard but insisted on practicing in public places and during our tours; This same girl also owned a wolf. Not a necessary fact overall but occasionally I scroll past her and her wolf on social media and still jump at the idea.

On my 10th birthday, my mom drove me all the way to my dads, two hours away to celebrate and he never showed up. He later told me that I never got back to him if I wanted to have a party. Most 9-year-olds have terrible phone etiquette so I am not surprised. I sobbed the whole ride back. So loudly that I didn't hear my mom planning an impromptu party in the front seat. She invited a fury of people. Anyone who would come and was available: Our landscaper, my Sunday School teacher, and our hairdresser. The party included pinning the tail on the donkey, cake, and even goody bags. I  have zero clues how she put together a good time in such a short time. I rarely ask because when I do I can’t help but remember that on the flip side my dad ditched me.

I recently watched a Netflix movie called To All The Boys I Loved Before where the main character writes love letters to her crushes. Of course, this launched me into wondering who I’d write my own love letters too and I can narrow it down to three truly significant romantic loves. One was in high school, one in college, and one this summer. All three were relatively significant in my life, however, I still feel weird saying it aloud. I’ve learned that I fall in love easily. If you’re looking to satisfy someone with the bare minimum? I’m your girl. I learned that I am forgiving in all the wrong ways. I am not quick to forget the shortcomings of my loved ones but more so unwilling to have the hard talks that come with addressing them. It could be that I am still coming down from the cheesy fumes of the rom-com but I resonate with the main character Lara Jean. She is cautious and overthinks. But that overthinking leads to wild imagination. She is by far my most positive character whom I feel a kinship with.

I also think I relate to Evan Hansen. Quirky, overall overlooked but fun guy. Depressed but in that joking, I don’t want people to catch on that I hate myself way. Just like Charlie Bartlett, He is deep in his own feelings and despair but manages to fool the whole school into thinking he’s got it together. His character also makes close relationships with a majority of the other characters however still feels a lack of belonging. Charming, quirky, but still lonely. And lastly, a character I have related to since my youth has been Courage the Cowardly Dog. He Courage was scared all the time of everything, and he had every right to be. Aliens and Monsters are nothing to joke about! However, he still went through whatever task he needed to accomplish in the episode and ultimately his owners never noticed his ever-growing anxiety. I am anxious about a lot but I know that at the end of the day I am going to keep pushing myself towards the tasks I need to accomplish. I also feel as though others cannot see my own insecurities and that is how I would prefer to keep it. In terms of importance to me, I order these characters as follows: Courage The Cowardly Dog from Courage The Cowardly Dog, Evan Hansen from Dear Evan Hansen, Charlie Bartlett from Charlie Bartlett, Lara Jean Song Covey from To All The Boys I Loved Before.

Four public figures that I have a kinship with include: Sarah Polley, Richard Engel, Johnny “Bananas” Devenanzio, and Rudy Mancuso. My list of public figures includes people well established in their careers. Each possesses an element that I hope to possess in my own career. Sarah Polley made the documentary Stories We Tell, which was a raw look into her own family. I remember watching and being uncomfortable with the idea of exposing not only my family but myself to the public. But ultimately it's what made her work so good. I appreciated, understood, and admired her decisions as a filmmaker because of it. Richard Engel is a news correspondent who has done just about everything to get a good story. His work primarily has him covering stories of hardship during the Iraq War, Arab Spring, and the Syrian Civil War. He does fair coverage of it all. He is in the business of journalism but I admire his ability to tell a story in all circumstance and hope to possess that ability in my own filmmaking. Johnny Bananas is a Reality Television star and Rudy Mancuso is an Internet Personality. I am interested in digital media and reality series and would love at some point be able to work within those realms. I relate to these public figures in this order: Richard Engel, Sarah Polley, Johnny “Bananas” Devenanzio, Rudy Mancuso

A list of people who have impacted my life includes Spenge, Sasha, Spax, Leigh, Cynthia, Rachel Fox, Mitchell, Marg, Evan, Austin, Zoe, Brandon, Jarrett, Emily W, Brittney, and Cole.

In the future, I want to be happier than I am today. I say that to myself often; it is very Kim of me. But I think it is a nice cover all of what are your plans for the future? I am currently happier than I was yesterday and I am definitely doing much better this year than I was last year. I would like to get more experience on set. I would like to narrow down exactly what I want to do in the Film Industry. I would like to make a social and career network in the Film Industry. I am currently starting out in a new town and I’ve got some friends but I could use some more. It is weird to make friends as an adult especially when you know it is so critical to how you fair in a new town. Every new interaction is pressure because these could be my people for the next few years. I hope in the future I am happier than I am today, but I also hope I stop worrying about the mundane.