joseopher

[joseopher]

Geode (x)

[joseopher]

*sexily starts bleeding from my nose and ears for no apparent reason*

[joseopher]

let me be pervertly clear

[joseopher]

the atlas six shouldn't be a tv show because they would never be able to capture the beauty of tristan caine's eyes in the visual medium

[joseopher]

The only thing I’ve learned from watching movies is that when women turn evil they get better cheekbones and I’m not saying that sounds like a win for them, I’m just saying that’s a win for them

you're so right evil ladies often have cheekbones as sharp as the knives they murder people with and i admire, respect and adore that about them

[joseopher]

if you don't dress slutty at my murder trial fuck you

[joseopher]

lol best way to sum up their relationship 🩷

[joseopher]

Yeah i feel a little poisoned But i keep on rocking

[joseopher]

look man, i dont know how to say this but like. i would love to use you as a stepping-stone to my own perfect vision of the future. do you like me back

[joseopher]

harpoon impaled inside beast: hi! im the harpoon and i love you! so glad we are going on this roadtrip, together 💕

[joseopher]

actually guys, i find their ominous music and leery personality kinda charming.... idk it's really sweet if you think about it. maybe we...should let them prepare the food and clean the blades?? just so they feel included 🥺 yknow?

<- guy who really wants to taste poison, please, please, please, poison, please

The ominous music cue that plays whenever I walk into a room has made poisoning my enemies a bit of a challenge

[joseopher]

GETTING STABBED THEN BLOWJOB AFTER!!!!!!!!!!

[joseopher]

6th grade truly is the best grade of all to teach because they're young enough to be unabashedly enthusiastic about things but also old enough to get really fucking weird about it. i had a 6th grader request his latin name be "atreus" (not a name on the list i gave them) and when i explained to the class that atreus's family had been cursed for generations and that atreus killed his nephews and fed them to his brother, they all started shouting that they wanted to have a name like that one

[joseopher]

ur first and last recent emojis are ur gender now. mine is 🅱👨‍❤‍💋‍👨

[joseopher]

body positivity: it’s okay if you can’t explode into a swarm of bats, a murder of crows or plague of locusts is also fine

[joseopher]

be the ancient curse you want to see befall your enemies' bloodlines

[joseopher]

He’s got those big wet eyes and you DONT wanna see him on his knees crying??