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Barbara and Sophie--mother and daughter--knew the Metropolitan Club would be a perfect fit to celebrate their milestone birthdays. Start with a perfect spring day in Manhattan, throw in a 10-piece band, pink and green florals, whimsical balloons, and a classic birthday cake ... then let the party begin!    

David Beahm Experiences captured the essence of the celebration, beautifully.  

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These pictures never get old! I absolutely adore what David Beahm and his team created for this wonderful couple. The quirky touches such as, the garden animals and tequila shot at each setting, blended perfectly with the pure elegance of the floral design, and the black tent added to the dramatic edge.  

Often couples opt for a tented wedding when they can’t find a venue that ‘feels’ right, or the guest count is too high. In this case, the couple wanted to get married at their family home. Extra logistics are involved when choosing a tent, and your budget can quickly spiral out of control if you’re not careful. You do however have the luxury of a blank canvas and there are so many options to play with! Typically, guests traveling out of town will anticipate a full weekend of activities which calls for meticulous planning and patience. Remember most New Yorkers consider 40 blocks in either direction to be ‘out of town’.   

Our team was responsible for the on site co-ordination of local and traveling vendors, over seeing the set up, overall management and break down. Again, my trusted team did a sterling job!  

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When this family contacted me they had a clear vision in mind:  pink, pink, and shiny pink! Sabrina is such a wonderful young lady and we wanted the room to showcase her fun, sassy self--hence the “so-sassy” theme that transpired. 

The silver sequined table cloths, mirrored vases, and pops of pink looked young and radiant while still elegant. The pillars surrounding the dance floor were mirrored with pink LED strips running vertically unifying the look. 

Three-Sixty is a spectacular venue which provides an intimate loft feeling, not to mention some wonderful views! The room offers a blank canvas with limitless design opportunities. We were thrilled with the outcome and had plenty of space available--a luxury in New York. 

Judging by the big smiles, hours of dancing, and heels scattered throughout the room, this was a huge success...If I don’t say so my sassy-self. 

Of course, none of this would have been possible without Fleurs NYC (design/floral), Three-Sixty (venue), Untouchable Events (entertainment/music), Party Rental, Ltd., iNsYnc Photography, and my stellar cast of assistants Bailly, Katie, and Nicola, who we are thrilled to welcome to the team.  

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A colorful day spent at the Bryant Park Grill celebrating Matthew and Sam’s B’nei Mitzvah in January. The bright colors were a perfect contrast to the cool temperatures outside! Bryant Park Grill is a truly versatile venue whether you are hosting a luncheon or evening affair; it is a New York classic.

Fleurs NYC created vibrant centerpieces and Untouchable Events kept the party vibe at a steady pace, while FifthAvenueDigital captured the memories. Thank you to my team:  Bailly, Katie, and Jackson for their attention to detail and ‘can do’ attitudes.      

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East Meets West -- This couple came to me brimming with ideas and it was my job to make sure it all made sense.  They had so much respect for each other, I could tell immediately that this bride and groom were in it for the long haul.

The ceremony was a custom, high-octane blend of traditional Judeo-Christian rites peppered with Eastern and Pagan traditions . . . The celebrant was a barefooted, Pagan priest in purple robes sporting a wand!  Awesome. 

Rarely have I seen a reception so colorful!  The room was anchored by two smallish, Persian-inspired tents complete with chandeliers.  Long tables were carpeted with a variety of mercury-glass vessels filled with luxurious blossoms, and the after-dinner coffee bar featured two marigold-lei laden elephant statues.  Super cool.

Impressive and daring guests took to the dance floor in droves, and even I joined the revelers for the last few dances.  After 16 hours on my feet, it was time to let off some steam!

Many thanks to the "A" team that made it all possible:  David Beahm Designs, The Desmond Tutu Center, Pier Sixty at Chelsea Piers, DJ Ray Jarrell of Jarrell Entertainment, Orchestrations, Inc., Cantabile Ensemble, Creative Custom Calligraphy, Alpine Creative Group, The Upper Crust, The Park, Terry Gruber Photographers, Party Rental, Ltd., L&M Sound & Light, and my most-able assistant, Bailly Roesch.

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Central Park Swells -- A magical evening unfolded this past Saturday for a rooftop wedding at New York's famed Metropolitan Club.  An intimate group of 80 enjoyed cocktails in the bar and were surprised when the brief-but-touching ceremony erupted right before them.  Cocktails in-hand during the ceremony?  Oh yeah!  Spring flowers ruled the day and the magnificent, deep-purple lilacs made us swoon.  The purple lilac is the state flower of New Hampshire and, being a native, I have a special place in my heart for its particular brand of beauty.

As bubbling guests moved from the bar to the dining room, with its spectacular terrace, the sun cooperated and set behind the Art Deco buildings of Central Park West.  Timing is everything.  A swank, supper-club-of-old sprang to life with guests enjoying the local, Spring-menu offerings followed by a ballroom-dance performance.  Tiny wedding cakes were passed by Radio City-style "cigar girls" as we segued from the smooth sounds of a retro-hip, Rat Pack-era band to the DJ who played dance hits from the 70's and 80's.  Of course, I couldn't resist having him mix in a bit of Blondie's smash hit Rapture.  Surely a night to remember.

Special thanks to The Metropolitan Club, David Beahm Design, Bentley Meeker Lighting & Staging, Michael Fredo Orchestra, DJ Leonardo, Stephanie Violette Photography, New York Wedding Dance, Alpine Creative Group, Gail Watson Custom Cakes, and Screaming Queens Entertainment.

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Now that Spring is springing, the cold and dark of February seems a long way off.  While all-white lofts can feel frigid in winter, this unusual loft space provided a cozy backdrop with its vaulted brick ceilings, hardwood floors, overhead iron girders, and heavy taupe draperies.  The bar mitzvah party, for one of my all-time favorite repeat clients, was an exercise in simplicity, warmth, and family fun.  The inspiration for the primary-color palette was selected by the bar mitzvah boy himself at our first design meeting, and came from the label on a bottle of hot sauce cooling its heels on the kitchen table.  I was a bit wary of the strength of the red and yellow against the indigo blue but the right balance was struck in the end.  And did I mention that the bar mitzvah boy (now a man as per Jewish tradition) is one heck of a dancer!

Special thanks to The Altman Building, Untouchable Events, Jeanne Costello Designs, Union Square Events, Alpine Creative Group, Stephanie Violette Photography, AVEnts, Party Rental Ltd., and Sims Security Group.

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Autumn in New York!  Like many of my fellow Gothamites, it's my favorite season and the best time of the year for a city wedding.  Neither too hot nor too cold and usually sunny, October is prime time for never-miss nuptials.  This stunning wedding was no exception.  The classic church ceremony was followed by an al fresco photo session for the bridal party at Central Park's famed Bethesda Fountain at the edge of The Lake. The lucky guests were treated to a mega-watt reception at The Loeb Boathouse in Central Park.  Because the guest list of eager attendees swelled to over 250, I recommended that we buy out the whole place and clear the restaurant portion for the cocktail reception.  The evening was truly magical as guest dined, drank, and danced while looking out on the silvery lake with sky scrapers reflected on its shimmering surface.  The bride's selection of lush purple orchids juxtaposed with varieties of green succulents against a backdrop of grey, silky burlap (yes, burlap!) table linens made for a sophisticated look that was a far cry from any expected autumnal color palette.  My wonderful clients trusted me to add the full array of spectacular lighting in warm tones of lavender and pink so that everyone looked and felt radiant.  The band rocked it and the mini red-velvet cup cakes kept the sugar buzz going for the enthusiastic, dance-floor denizens.  What a night!

Special thanks to The Loeb Boathouse in Central Park, Ovando Floral and Event Design, Alpine Creative Group (invitations), Paul Lacano and The Cocktail Shakers (band/DJ), Frost Lighting, Brownwin Transportation, The Empire Hotel, The Church of St. Paul the Apostle, Chelsea Market Baskets, and Bill Fredericks Studio (photography).

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AOL's Aisle Dash wedding blog has seen fit once again to feature advice from Joseph Todd Events!  Click on title link to read full article about one of my favorite elements of the wedding reception.

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AOL's Aisle Dash wedding blog features advice from Joseph Todd Events.  Click on the title above to read full column.

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The Good Guest – Chicken, Fish, or Beef?

Beef?  Yes, I have a beef (I know, I know … big surprise) and it’s that there are too many choices and not enough quality in this world of ours.  Once again, I am going to get a lot of flack for this post but the truth hurts, people.  Picture it:  somewhere on Long Island, circa 1984,  some genius in some catering office in Great Neck decides it’s a good idea to give guests a choice of main course (another example of brilliant marketing ideas that ruin our lives).  Not just a choice, mind you, but a selection!  Now I ask you, when is the last time you went to a friend’s home for a relatively formal sit-down dinner party and you were given a choice of main course?  Probably never; and I’m not talking about a casual buffet or backyard barbeque with a mélange à grille.

                             One thing I try (often in vain) to impress upon my clients is that the rules of entertaining remain the same whether the deed is done at home for an intimate dinner of eight friends or at The Pierre hotel for 500 guests in black-tie.  How I long for the days when everyone sat down, shut up, and ate what he/she was served (thanks for the training, Mom).  If you peruse printed menus from historic events, you will never find a choice of main course therein.  Ask any questions about the menu items offered, or for a special meal, and you would be shown the door (buh-bye).  Guests who complain to the waiters about the meal that their hosts have selected for them really should be tossed out with the carrot tops, in my humble opinion.   One of the pleasures of any formal social gathering of family and friends is the shared experience of dining on the same meal.  This has nothing to do with a restaurant experience where the point of dining à la carte is to sample the chef’s wares which are prepared just for you.  The skills required for an à la carte chef are very different from those required for a banquet chef.  At a catered dinner for 200 if you divide the chef’s focus too much, the food will be mediocre no matter where you are.  Yes, even at Mandarin Oriental or The Plaza in New York.  The result is the dreaded rubber chicken we’ve all been talking about for the last thirty years.

                      The whole point of a “banquet” is that there is “plenty,” in the true sense of the word:  six to ten passed hors d’oeuvres, two or three cocktail buffet stations, a first course, a main course, a salad course, a dessert course, cake, and finally, a selection of miniature sweets.  If a guest doesn’t like something offered, then he or she can easily just eat around it -- yes, cut and reposition the offending item on your plate like when you were ten -- and certainly not leave hungry.  Yet people obsess big-time about the four-to-six ounces of protein on the main course plate.  This drives me absolutely stark-raving mad!  Now, I know that I will not succeed in turning back the clock to the more civilized days of a fully composed, single-main course meal, but aren’t two choices enough?  I have to draw the line at three or more.  A printed menu card offering a tableside choice between beef or fish is the best way to satisfy your guests and any place worth its salt offers a silent vegetarian option these days.  Vegetarians and vegans are not shy about asking.  A catered dinner is not an automat encounter (forgive the dated term; if you’re under 50 look it up).

                                                 A couple of years ago, I had a client who insisted on a choice of three main courses (plus a “silent” vegetarian option) and nothing I could say would dissuade her.  After several weeks, I finally broke down and told her it was just plain tacky but she still didn’t care.  I thought the top-notch caterer was going to freak.  Not only is it questionable in terms of the taste level but there is a great amount of waste which, frankly, I find quite disgusting in today’s world.  Oh, and did I mention the bride wanted a “green” wedding?  So much for that.  Have the guests pre-select their main courses, you say?  This is even tackier and always turns into a disaster.  Even if you put little colored dots (Egads!) on place cards, Great Aunt Gertrude is still going to argue with the dumbfounded waiter and insist she ordered the chicken, not the fish.  This will happen at least twenty times in any given large group of confused guests and it throws the kitchen into a frenzied fiasco.  No event that I was involved with was going to send out a response card that had the words “Chicken, Fish, or Beef” on it.  So being the creative planner that I am, I protected my reputation with adorable stylized pictures . . .

                    Eat, drink, and be merry?  Well turn that list of imperatives on its head and there you will find the simple recipe for a successful party.  The joy of a wedding, bar/bat mitzvah, birthday party or the like has very little to do with the food.  Now if the food is horrible that’s not good and people might talk, but if it’s mediocre-to-excellent no one will remember the next day.  What they will remember is that the band rocked, the wine glasses were always full, and the hosts were gracious and glowing.  If you don’t like the dinner your hosts provide (free of charge, I might add), put a lid on it and stop at the 24-hour diner for a burger and fries on the way home.

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It's mitzvah time!  Here are some shots of an adorable bat mitzvah I did recently.  While "themes" are on the outs for the sophisticated set, there is always something around which the design is anchored.  For this event, I created a simple, six-petaled flower because I couldn't find just the right artwork out there in the big wide world.  Hot pink, green, yellow, and orange were the palette and white-slip-covered funiture provided a place for the eye to rest. The highlight was a fabulous twenty-foot-long pink dessert table that was wheeled in and lit up right after the montage and just as the DJ cranked the first notes of "I Will Survive."  And trust me, after that long day, it was the perfect moment to sit back and enjoy my handiwork.

Special thanks to The Ritz-Carlton - Westchester, Jeanne Costello Designs (event design/floral), Christian Oth Studio (photography), Wizard Studios (lighting), Alpine Creative Group (invitations), Foremost/RAM Kosher Catering, Shalom Orchestra (band, DJ, MC, and dancers), NYC Photobooth, and my glamorous and extremely capable assistants Bailly, Carrie, and Chesalon.

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The Good Guest - Holiday Houseguest

It’s that time of year again when many of us will be fortunate enough to be invited to our friends’ homes for a summer weekend.  Whether you’re headed to the beach, the lake house, or a backyard barbeque at the manse, the goal is the same:  to have a great time, endear yourself to your hosts as an excellent (not merely good) guest and, of course, be invited back. 

The upcoming Fourth of July weekend is the kickoff and if you’re invited to stay the weekend that means you're high on the list of favorite folks.  Don’t disappoint!  Pitch in, perk up, and play nice.  If you placate your sluggish partner at home by doing all the chores, make sure you pull his or her weight when you’re away from home too.  Maybe no one will notice.

          It all boils down, as usual, to being considerate, engaging, and helpful.  Your hosts have invited you because they like you, they really like you!  Imagine that.  You’re there to enjoy yourself and enhance your hosts’ leisure time with humor, wit, and no small amount of joie de vivre.  If you know for sure that you (or your spouse or child) will play the part of a stick in the mud then don’t go; stay home and sit in a dark room watching Grumpy Old Men.  If you happen to have on your hands a sulky, angst-ridden, Avril Lavigne-esque, teenage daughter who moans and groans about joining the family on the weekend get-a-way, by all means send her off to wallow in hormonal hell with her best friend.  This is a sociopathic stage of female development that should be forced upon polite company only if they are related by blood. 

                           Everyone knows to bring along an appropriate and personal gift your hosts will use and enjoy.  Just put some thought into it; the longer your stay, the better the gift.  If the gregarious gathering is at your hosts’ second home in the country or at the beach, present something intrinsic to their lives there (so they don’t have to schlep it back to the cramped city apartment).  The list of Do’s and Don’ts goes on and on so in the spirit of efficiency and brevity, I’m going to reprint something clear and concise.  While I tend to favor Amy Vanderbilt, an old friend and sparring partner swears by Emily Post.  So in honor of my friend and her penchant for upholding what is right and true, I am quoting below from www.emilypost.com: 

· Do bring your own toiletries.

· Do offer to help the host anytime you see a chance. Volunteer to aid in specific tasks, for example, "Let me take those packages in."

· Do be adaptable: ready for anything--or for nothing.

· Do tidy up after yourself. Unless the host has household help and instructs you not to, straighten up your room and make the bed.

· Do appear to enjoy yourself.

· Do ensure your host has some alone time.

· Do host your guests for a preplanned dinner or outing if your stay is for three days or more.

· Do have a supply of portable snacks if you've brought your children.

· Do treat any household help courteously.

· Don't make other plans without letting your host know.

· Don't ask to bring your pet.

· Don't delay returning a borrowed item.

· Don't accept an invitation before checking with your host. If other friends in the area invite you over for drinks or dinner, never accept before discussing the matter with those with whom you're staying.

· Don't answer your hosts' telephone without asking.

· Don't use more than your share of hot water. Keep showers short and use only the towels specifically designated for you.

· Don't make the first move to go to bed. You can hint that you're tired, but the custom is to wait for the host to give the signal--except when your hosts are family or close friends who won't mind if you retire early or stay up late.

· Don't leave without making sure you have all your belongings.

OK, it’s true, I got lazy because I am taking off Friday and escaping New York City for the genteel climes of the Connecticut shoreline.  Because the home I’m headed to is a bit, shall we say, non-conformist and a bit “out there,” instead of bringing a tangible gift, after dinner I’ll be providing a brief roasting of each guest complete with props a la Carrot Top (less the plastic surgery – so far, anyway).  And like Carrot Top, my performance will be a little red (in the face), a little white, and a lot blue.  Am I the only one who thinks he’s morphing into a muscled, drag-queen version of Ronald McDonald?  But then this is American and that’s all right by me.

         Having been a houseguest at Chez Britannia for twenty-five years, I know my offering will please my hosts the most . . . and I’ll have a great time too.  I can’t wait to get there.  Have a happy and safe Fourth of July and let your freak-flag fly . . . along with Old Glory, of course.  

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She's a little bit rock 'n' roll . . . This bride and her family were a true pleasure during the year-long, wedding-planning process.  I often have a form of "post-partem" depression after events are over and I miss having wonderful clients in my everyday life.  This wedding at the Mandarin Oriental hotel in New York was finished in April but I have the opportunity to contine working with the family because I am doing her sister's wedding in September.  Love that! 

Photography by Bill Fredericks Studio, event design/floral by David Beahm Design, event lighting by Bentley Meeker Lighting and Staging, and cake by Ron Ben-Israel Cakes.

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The Good Guest - Don't Ask, Do Tell

Now that we’ve covered the basics, let’s get down to the nitty-gritty.  Nearly all of my clients grapple with the question of whether or not to invite a single person with a guest of his or her choice.  Fear not my finely-frocked friends, I have a few opinions and some advice to share about this touchy and confusing matter.  A few friends of mine and some “experts” disagree with what I have to say on this topic but it’s my party and I’ll decry if I want to.  As the sage guru and mentor-in-my-mind Judge Judith Scheindlin often asks, “Do you have your listening ears on?”

                          So here’s the deal, would-be guests . . . a wedding, bar/bat mitzvah, or 50th anniversary party is not the place to sport your hook-up-of-the-month as arm candy.  These events mark life’s major milestones and the assemblage differs somewhat from the crowd at your favorite karaoke bar or warehouse rave.  If your invitation does not read “and guest,” please don’t ask your host if you may bring someone.  It’s rude and puts you both in a very awkward position, whether you realize it or not.  Guest lists are meticulously cultivated, very political, and often limited by the constraints of the chosen venue.  Many hosts are happy to invite all single guests with a date (whom they don't know and might never meet again) but more than a few don't have that luxury.  Some hosts purposefully choose a smaller venue to limit the size of the event for any number of reasons: intimacy, budget, pretense, etc.  Don’t upset the apple cart (especially at the last minute) and destroy your host’s perfect table of ten with an unknown, unwelcome, and uninitiated eleventh guest.

                                                    At a friend’s large and formal wedding in Minneapolis a hundred years ago, one of our confused college cohorts unexpectedly showed up at the church with a woman he’d met just the night before in the hotel bar.  Talk about awkward!  My friend, the bride, being the consummate hostess, made no visible fuss and shuffled the dinner seating arrangements á la minute (like she had nothing better to do on the trip from the church to the country club) to include the wanton hussy.  The only benefit was that the rest of us had plenty to talk about at that reception.  Sweet.

           Etiquette experts differ on the details of these “policies” but, being of sound mind and body (no comments!) and with machete in-hand, I am going to clear a simple path through that jungle of self-doubt . . .

  Do invite an unmarried partner if the couple lives together, and find out his or her name so that it can be included on the invitation.  The generic “and guest” in this case shows a lack of interest in your friend’s personal life – not nice.

Do invite a significant other if the couple has been exclusively dating for at least six months.

Do invite a friend or family member with a guest if that person knows no one else at the event and will feel isolated or uncomfortable.

Do invite your friend or family member with a guest if you know they will be simply unbearable otherwise and will make your life a living hell . . . or, even better, consider truncating the friendship for obvious reasons.  Family members, however, are tougher to ditch outright and this is one of the universal disappointments of life on planet Earth.  That and the fact that a decent bottle of wine in mediocre restaurant runs about $48 or more these days.  Hideous.

                                            Now we get to the loophole if you’re the one angling for an invitation that includes the coveted “and guest” on the envelope.  This applies only if you’ve started dating someone you feel is “the one” and it would feel strange for you to attend a big event without him or her (not to mention put you in the dog house for weeks or months after returning a little worse-for-wear from said event).  Start weaving the name of your new squeeze into conversations with your impending host; if you’re really in love this will happen naturally.  Mention the weekend trips and vacations you’ve taken together and off-handedly sprinkle in favorable adjectives when describing your inamorata/o: thoughtful, generous, funny, intelligent, charming, vivacious, convivial, and engaging.  In short, he or she completes you.  Don’t ask if you can bring a guest but tell of his or her charms so that your host knows this guest has been thoroughly vetted.  Then rely on her good sense to proffer the invitation that ensures your mate-in-training will be included in the festivities.

               Television shows and movies written by fools portray weddings as events to which it’s appropriate to drag along a casual date or they imply that you’re a loser if you can’t get a date to your cousin’s wedding.  Like most things on television or at the cineplex, this is just a big load of (fill in your favorite four-letter word here).  If you’re single and headed to a wedding where you’ll convene with your college or work buddies, do you really want to babysit someone all night or feel guilty because he or she doesn’t share in the war stories being acted out with unbridled hilarity at the dinner table?  Is the so-so sex really worth it?  Hell no!  You want to take a drunken stroll down memory lane and relive the glory days.  And don’t forget, lots of married couples met at a friend’s wedding. Toga!

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A VISION IN WHITE

Take a peek at this simple, yet sophisticated, bat mitzvah I did last weekend at a spotless photo studio in Tribeca in New York City.  The kids had their own party room and right next store the happy adults lounged, ate, and drank in a cozy, home-like, open-concept, kitchen/living room/dining room environment.  The highlight was a real Pink Berry bar near the end of the night.  Kids and adults alike went wild loading on their choices of a dozen toppings. 

Special thanks to Location05, Creative Edge Parties, Frank Alexander NYC, Untouchable Events, Alpine Creative Group, Stephanie Violette Photography, Gail Watson Custom Cakes, Pink Berry, and my glamorous, efficient, and wise-beyond-her-years assistant, Bailly Roesch.

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The Girl Guest - You Are What You Wear?

Achtung!  Today’s subject matter is weightier than usual and a bit on the sensitive side.  Therefore, I’m going to do my best not to insult or malign the status of young girls everywhere, but I just can’t take it any longer.  Yes, we’re talking about attire among the pre-teen or newly teened female set at bar/bat mitzvah parties in the New York City area.  These young fashionistas were once known as “girls," though in 2010 I’m not so sure.  At any given party, about twenty-five percent of the girls are dressed inappropriately but since they are the popular clique to which the others look for social cues, they are a huge influence.  A suggestive sweet-sixteen party dress is one thing but to see a 12-year-old girl in a Hervé Légere micro-mini and three-inch, Jimmy Choo cha-cha heels is quite a jarring experience.  And guess what, she didn’t earn the money to buy them herself and most likely did not shop for the offending items on her own.  Gross.

         While I spend half of my work life planning weddings, the other half is consumed by the creation of bar and bat mitzvahs that reflect the restrained good taste of my clients, are fun for kids and young adults, and also entertain the adult population.  This is no easy task, I assure you.  Striking the right balance is much harder at a mitzvah than at a wedding or a 50th birthday party; the joy and rapture of guests from the ages of eight to eighty-eight must be considered.  I am fortunate to have clients whose own daughters are always appropriately dressed for their ages.  A showy parent who would allow his/her child to wear a slinky, skin-tight, sparkly, slip of a dress that barely covers her goods is not the client for me.   Don’t even get me started on the gyrations some of the young girls display on the dance floor.  Too many Beyonce videos, I guess.

                      Now “good taste” is something that is relative and dictated by many variables including locale, socio-economic status, and ethnic background (don’t question me; I majored in social anthropology).  That being said, it is never in good taste, anywhere on planet Earth, to allow your preteen or teenage daughter to leave the house in the guise of a streetwalker.  If a 25-year-old woman prefers to dress in this “fashion” in broad daylight, as seems to be the trend, then by all means let her have at it and send the women’s movement back to the days of dynastic China.  But allowing a child to dress this way on a “special” occasion just lowers the curve for everyone and hastens the downfall of a society already on the brink of disaster.  A dramatic assessment, yes, but that’s me.

The culmination of the rite of becoming a bar/bat mitzvah in Jewish tradition is that the young person must accept responsibility for his/her actions and is recognized as full-fledged member of the community.  Thousands of years ago a 13 year-old might have been considered a man or woman after the ceremony but today it’s back to the seventh grade on Monday morning.

                   Obviously, these horrifying lapses in judgment are not the fault of young girls confused by mixed messages evident in the media all around them.  No, the responsibility lies squarely on the shoulders of the misguided, immature, striving, permissive, absentee mothers and/or fathers.  Though I am not a parent myself, I am an adult human being and I say FOR SHAME to the aforementioned “parents.”  The damage they are doing to their daughters by trying to be a friend instead of a protector is tantamount to abuse.  My mother was never my friend until I was well into my thirties.  This might seem to be an extreme case but remember, I hail from northern New England.  Thanks, Mom!

                       While I am all for progress and liberation, it shouldn't be at the expense of children who depend on their parents for discipline, support, and guidance.  Of course, they don’t appreciate these efforts until much later in life and it’s surely damn tougher to do than I will ever know.  Throwing in the towel and letting a young girl out of the house in highly sexualized clothing is just plain wrong.  If little Chloe is dressed as she should be but tries to leave the house with a full backpack, better check it for fashion contraband.

I’ve spent a lot of time on the negative so I want to finish by lavishing sincere praise on the majority of parents who fight the hard fight, negotiate with their daughters, and finally settle on chic, yet age-appropriate, party dresses that make them feel grown-up and beautiful; that fine line is indeed attainable . . . and the effort to achieve it well worthwhile.  Brava!