jotavbo-ranch

[jotavbo-ranch]

So i take it the prank went well?

dude absolutely this was so worth it ||Tabi glares at the drone and sighs||

[jotavbo-ranch]

||Theres the sound of a door opening and footsteps. Tabi briefly appears as she walks past, before pausing halfway down the stairs to the basement|| did...I....? ||She steps further down, disappearing for a few seconds before coming back up the stairs, noticeably stiff, and walks back into the house|| ||Evbo comes out after a minute or two, looking like a kicked puppy, Tabi close behind him|| ||She points down at the basement|| Fix. now. ||he gives a sad little nod|| |Sigh| good boy ||She pats him on the head. He lights up and skips down into the basement||

[jotavbo-ranch]

Modded pens??? You can do that???

...sounds like that one's for me...

||grunt followed by some cracking and popping, then approaching footsteps||

The basic pen has a good range. You can link them up at almost three times the normal distance before they start to break.

We installed some on the greenhouse entrances. Like gates. There's rubber stoppers in the side we aren't using.

They also only come in corners, so my current project is working on making different shapes. I'm thinking we need a couple T's and a few extenders.

[jotavbo-ranch]

The bunny slimes followed evbo because they're family bro look at the similarities

- 🧭

||He pauses and looks back at the cotton slimes before slowly sitting down and holding his head|| oh my god- ||laugh|| its him-

[jotavbo-ranch]

Yeah the little firefly jellies love the cuberries! And the big one

How's yalls ranch looking so far? Any corrals or farms?

- 🧭

Ayyy thought so! Im gonna go grab some of those! Joofy! you take this one- Wha- Bye!! ||Evbo runs off into the wilds, leaving a confused Joofy with the drone|| Uh- Hi- So uh- Yeeeaahhh.. uh.... The... The ranch is coming along great so far. Almost half the main farm is finally cleared out, but theres still those other side bits that are part of the property we havent touched yet ||The side closest to the house has had a decent amount of work done to it, at least compared to the other end. It seems that they have managed to clear out most of the raised planter in the center, but everything else is completely overgrown|| Oh! Tabi did this part here! ||The cleared section has what looks like an extended corral, much larger than the standard box kit. Theres several small farms inside of it, mostly carrots, but there's a patch of weird looking lettuce and some fruits, along with a silo|| We got a few basic posts, and she modified them so we could make the pen bigger. They both wanted to free range, but Tarr are suuuper annoyyyying to deal with and we dont have sprinklers yet, so we're doing big pens. I should probably harvest those... oh...! Their uh... all sleeping right now, but... ||He starts walking towards the farm area, motioning for the drone to follow|| We have some cotton slimes. They kinda just followed Evbo home and then didnt leave so- ||He shrugs noncommittally, before walking over to one of the pogo trees and squatting down, pointing to a small pile of cream-colored blobs|| Theres like- one two three four... five of them. Tabi wants to get tabby slimes but we..uh.. dont have hen-hen pens yet so...yeah

[jotavbo-ranch]

Tabi stole the top room from you, right? I have an idea for a silly prank smiles you have a snegnant slime? Just help them deliver and then put the babies in the basement lab GET FAT FUCK FIREFLIED IDIOT!!!!!

Thats- Thats not a bad idea...I just... need to keep feeding him right? As long as I just... keep them away from the important shit... the basement could use more lights... I think Joofy said they like those weird cube strawberries I found

Dude im gonna go pop that thing open and steal its kids

[jotavbo-ranch]

Oh! have you seen a Gordo yet? Their those MASSIVE guys! For some reason they love portals and blocking off entry ways... most annoying shits to exist. If you wanna get rid of them, just keep chucking food into them until they explode! Dont worry, its not hurt.... probably....They kinda turn into like ten... twenty smaller slimes. Im halfway convinced their just slime-pregnant.

SLIMES CAN GIVE BIRTH? no- yeah no that... that makes sense - but like.... oh god... well... thanks for the warning...? Ive been uh... ive been feeding this fat firefly guy in one of the caves near our house whenever I pass by.... I didnt know he could like... explode-

[jotavbo-ranch]

// Y O U

// hey,,

// you guys should go check out @jotavbo-ranch

// slime rancher jotavbo au,,the sillies,,,

[jotavbo-ranch]

Gay people? 🤨🤨

- 🧭

oh shit- it can fly-no yeah of course it can fly- ||Clearing throat|| Hi? I mean- ||He points at the wall. Theres a Bi flag|| Whole squad swings both ways, but like im not swinging at him? I am swinging at Tabi though, we're ||YAWN|| both swinging at each other. Mutual swingage. Joofys just like that, I think....? I uh... dont actually know for sure what his deal is. Like he says were just best friends whenever I bring it up but then he gets weird whenever me and Tabi get too close and then does shit like- ||He gestures to Joofy, who is currently using him like a stuffed animal|| T h i s. Soo like... ||Shrugs||

[jotavbo-ranch]

||humming, sounds of something being welded|| ..bi? ||Slurping on coffee|| Its 4 am- ||Spiting and coughing|| OH MY GOD ARE YOU OK- ||Laughing as she tries to recover|| I said hi! I thought you heard me- |COUGH| No- |COUGH COUGH| Have you seriously been working all night? Dude your sleep schedule is fucked- And yours isnt? Ok- Fair. ||She sighs|| Oh yeah, the weird drone you found is connected to the range exchange somehow. I talked to some of the other people out here on it earlier Really? ||He taps on the screen a few times|| Huh... Well, I found another one. It was by like, a mini warp thing. I think its a remote refinery deposit. huh. I guess I'll go check that out with you tomorrow...today...? Go to bed tabi .... Fine ||They both walk inside, and the rest of the audio is muffled, barely intelligible|| Why is Joofy on the couch? ...He forgot it was our day today |Sigh| What did you two fight about this time Nothing- Dont give me that- Just the usual stuff- ...ebo...? Shit sorry dude- didnt mean to wake you- aaand there goes Tabi- ||Door slams|| ..... where do I sleep- ohp ok thats arms hello- .....Joofy..... ..... |Sigh|

[jotavbo-ranch]

Actually this galaxy's strongest warrior 🫡🫡

- 🧭

||she snorts||

Absolutely. Glad someone else appreciates my power.

||a fake flex||

Still can't wait for our stuff to arrive... Just two more days and then I can fuck off to my own room... I managed to steal the top floor dome from Evbo. As weird as everything is... Having this nice of a room makes eight months of cryo sleep and fucking off to some far out planet totally worth it. Still, wish it didn't take college debt to get here. I just hope slime farming is as good as people say it is because I cannot make enough money to pay it back on earth

[jotavbo-ranch]

You couldnt even get a job with an engineering degree??

Damn...

Earth, man...

- 🧭

Tell me about it... Its either all automated or pays next to nothing... I had to work three jobs to make rent, and even then I ended up moving in with Evbo and Joofy in their cheap ass studio apartment once we all decided to get this farm. As shady as this place is, having my own room and more than five feet of floor space is definitely an improvement. We just have to wait for the rest of our stuff to arrive and then I won't have to share that gross mattress with the boys. ||she shudders and gags|| Its been a week and I'm still not used to it... that thing is so old. I don't even want to think about what weird bed diseases it has.

[jotavbo-ranch]

Tabi! If Evbo has a Bio degree, and Joofy is a gap year warrior, what about you?

I'll take that as a no then. Shit.

||Tabi huffs, readjusting her position with the drone||

Ive got an engineering degree, with a minor in food science. Did take a lot of general AG classes as well, though joofy knows way more about the slime stuff than me and evbo do. I wanted an earth job but whoof- the market is bad. This-

||she gestures vaguely at the basement||

-was the most stable job option for me.

[jotavbo-ranch]

Ooo drama on Rainbow Island

Sorry Joofy, you're getting the couch </3

- 🧭

||Tabi jolts, looking towards the table|| What? fuck wait... Is this on? || She picks up the camera, and appears to be reading something || huh... I didnt know the weird drone Evbo found had access to the range exchange... thats........ wait... You saw that? shit Yeah uh... He might be.... or at least try to. Dont... dont tell Evbo. He made me and Joofy promise to get along and hes going to get sad if we dont and I dont want to have to deal with that. Hes annoying when hes sad. ||She sighs||

[jotavbo-ranch]

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|| Theres a loud screech as the program boots up, and a room appears, though lopsided, as the camera is resting at an awkward angle It looks like a cave with some large, strange machine in a corner surrounded by tree roots. It almost seems like a furnace, but where there would be a grate into the fire, there's what looks like a funnel for something, with a rather goofy looking happy face decoration surrounding it, as if you're feeding the machine. Theres a small sitting area in a raised part of the cave just barely visible. Nothing happens for several hours. Theres sound above, and two sets of footsteps approach, heading over to the odd machine|| So I just... stick it in here? Yeah -and it stores things? ||She nods|| ...thaaaat doesn't seem... safe. Well, usually you'd shoot it in with your vac pack, but just shoving it in there works fine. Its like most warp depos. Didn't you just tell me that you cant manually remove things from this unless you fabricate something? Well yeah but your not sticking your detached arm in it. You just pull your hand out- Right well im not doing that. Stick your own shit in there. ||she mutters something, probably an insult|| ...im telling evbo when he gets back OH MY GOD YOU WHINY FUCKING SNITCH- ||They seem to get in a heated argument, screaming and gesturing wildly, pacing around. The cave walls and somewhat broken microphone colliding and causing the audio to crunch awkwardly|| W᥅᥅᥅EV᥅᥅ ᥅᥅᥅᥅OL᥅- YE᥅᥅ ᥅UCK ᥅O᥅ TO- This is why I don't want to share the fucking bed with you Sleep on the floor then bitch I fucking WILL- GOD- ||He storms off, and Tabi groans, flopping back onto one of the couches|| Evbos gonna be pissed when he comes back.

[jotavbo-ranch]

Oh? How much do you guys know about slimes out here?

- 🧭

I mean, I know enough. Pink slimes are everywhere, tabby slimes are everywhere, rock slimes are everywhere, and phosphor slimes are also everywhere but only at night. Theres these ones that look like rabbits just outside, the slimepedia says their cotton slimes, which I guess makes sense. Haven't seen any rocks yet though... Tabis more on the plort side of things, but mostly on using them and not where they come from. Joofy is actually the one who knows the most, surprisingly- ||Joofy pops back on screen for a second after hearing his name, Evbo waves him away, and he goes back to clearing out the farm.|| I have a bio degree but its for like, earth animals. Joofy was taking a break year- actually.. does this mean he dropped out....? huh... anyways, we decided to move out here so hes spent most of his time researching slime care. Which is great because neither of us know enough about diets n stuff to not fuck up at least one slime unintentionally...

[jotavbo-ranch]

You guys seen anything interesting yet?

- 🧭

We're still clearing out the farm! This place has been abandoned for quite awhile.....

I've explored some of the island just out front and there's a weird drone I took back with me.

It's on but the files on it are weird. Tabi says she's going to take a look at it once she's done fixing the pipes in the basement lab.

Oh yeah there's also the basement lab. Sounds WAY more evil than it is. There's some caves below the house, nothing massive, just like a space. The previous owner put some couches down there and a workshop storage thing. Slime refinery is pretty normal but theres these weird pods on the table. I found one outside and it seemed to contain a blueprint file, for some reason. Like why was that even outside? Why the giant metal shell in a random bush?